Aom's P.O.V

 

I can sense something bad is happening now. I don't know how bad is bad but I just know that this is not a good thing. Well, basically, everyone can say this but sorry, this is what I really think. 

I somehow regret my decision for leaving the room when Mean insisted me on staying in; but what else can I do? Would you stay in a room with people who fight each other because of you? I will not know what you will say but for me is "no".

When you stand in a room with them, it will make them feel like you are satisfied with this and that you're happy to see this happening. Indeed, I'm not. The reason that I'm regretting is only because I don't know which words Tina uses to turn Mean down. I don't want to hurt anyone even if I know that it will end up hurting them at anyways. At least I care of what can hurt them less. 

Of all people, Tina chooses me. The question is "why"? Why would she do such a thing like this when she has everything and she has a woman who loves her dearly like Mean? Why me? Childhood is only a small part of it and I still doubt about it more. There is still soemthing about her with me that she hasn't told me. And I keep telling her that Mean is also important and that she is everything that a man will want.

And now, I feel just not right. 

I wanna turn around to go back but my feet are stuck on the floor. I wanna go to the cafeteria, but the same thing is happening. Just that I have made up my mind not to interfere with anybody's business, my phone rings. 

"Aom, you'd better give me some answers." It's my mom and that's what she said when I just answer my phone. How generous.

"Hi, mom" I sigh. 

"I don't want to hear any explanation. You'd better give me some answers." I can feel my mom is rolling her eys. 

"Mom, it's really not in a good time and I'm still in the hospital. Can we just wait until I get back home?" 

There's a pause for a few seconds then she explains in a low voice. 

"Aom, now that I'm pretty far from you so that I can really talk with you." My mom whispers through the phone.

"Wait, what?" I take a seat on a bench just as she explains. 

"I'm sorry I was so harsh to you a few seconds ago but it's only because I had to. Your father was here a while ago and he was demanding to see you like he was so mad. And then, he got a phone call and left the house immediately. I'm sorry, sweetie. I had to act like I was mad as well." Okay, now I don't get what she's trying to tell me.

"Mom, what do you mean?" 

"Your father came in home just a while ago and he was totally in a bad mood. I tried to calm him down but he wouldn't listen. All he wanted was you."

"That seems strange." I sigh. 

"It does. I don't know what's happening around, sweetheart." there's another pause again. "How's Tina doing?" 

I shake my head a little bit before I decide to answer.

"She's fine. I mean, really fine. But she still has those itches on her body and her temperature isn't really in her control yet. So yeah, she can smile and talk, I'll count that as fine." 

"I see."

"hmm."

"Will I get to see you early tonight, sweetie?" 

I take a deep breath then answer.

"I don't know, mom." 

"I get it."

"Will dad come back home tonight?" 

She sighs then answers. "I don't think he'll come back. I mean, he'll have another business trip to meet up with Mr and Mr.s Jitaleela as soon as possible."

"Why did he come home in such a rush, mom?" 

"I don't know too, honey. But I think he has his own reasons for demanding for you like that. We'll just have to see when he comes back." 

"Okay, mom."

"I gotta close the shop. I'll see you later tonight. I love you. Goodbye." Then she hangs up the phone immediately even before I can say I love her back to her. 

It seems strange because dad has always been that gentle to me; he never raises his voice on me. It doubts me that he demanded for me in front of mom like that is something else. And my mother's tone. So mysterious.

"Do you have a minute?"

Another strange voice just asked me. I feel like I'm familiar with this voice, so I turn around immediately.

"Van" I open my eyes widely as he smiles crookly to me. 

"Hi" He smiles again.

"Why are you here?" I'm totally in shock.

"Your mother called me a long while ago, saying that you are here. I guess she's right." He shrugs.

"Why didn't she tell me about it? We were just on the phone a while ago." 

He looks around the hall then replies.

"I told her not to tell you." His mouth presses into a hard line.

"Why?" That's all I can ask.

"If she had called and told you, I wouldn't have seen what you have done back into Tina's room." His face is unreadable, and if I had to take my best guess, I would guess that he's in pain.

"You saw..." I murmur.

He nods. "I saw everything." 

And then, we're just standing there for a while, not knowing what else tot alk about. I bet he has more to say but he's just waiting for the right time.

"Will you walk me to the cafeteria? Well, because we're not allowed to talk loudly here." He asks. 

"Sure." 

We take our moment to the cafeteria quietly. Van has never shut himself away from me this much as long as I can tell. He just doesn't talk to me and he doesn't even bother looking at his way. He just walks after me completely.

When we arrive the canteen, he orders some sandwiches for himself and me too. We're sitting at the table and playing around with our phones.

When he sets his phone down on the table, our conversation comes again.

"Why did my mom call you?" I ask just before he can have his chance to talk to me first.

"She was worried about you." He answers oddly.

"That's it?" I ask. 

He sighs. "It's about your father too. He kept asking for you and he asked me if it was possible, he wanted me to talk you from this hospital to him."

"Why?"

"I don't know. And I was so shocked to hear that you were in the hospital. Practically for Tina. I rushed over here just to see you then I ended up seeing a beautiful scene between you and her," He shakes his head.

"I'm sorry."

"You should be. I've seen everything and you surely care about her. I stood there by the door just to see you taking care of Tina. When the nurse came in, I really had no excuse why I would do such a thing like that. I did walk out when she got into your room, then I walked back when she left and didn't notice me anymore." There's another silence before he adds more. "When you left the room, there was a huge talk between that girl and Tina and her sister."

"You mean Mean?"

"Kinda. She got out of the room, ended up crying somewhere nearby me at that time."

"Did you guys get to talk?" 

"No, she didn't even know who I was and for your informations, I didn't want to talk to her too." 

"Hmm." I nod.

"What are you doing?" His eyes turn to mine strictly.

I set my phone down on the table too, just to be polite when answering somebody's question.

"I was just checking my facebook a while ago and..." 

He shakes his head. "That's not what I'm asking you about." He cuts me off.

"Then what do you wanna talk about?" I narrow my eyebrows.

"What are you doing between you and Tina?" He narrows his eyebrows as well.

"To protect my privacy, I have my rights to just not answer your question."

"I've had it, Aom. That's enough." He bursts out his anger and I'm just a little scared.

"Van, why are you so mad about this?" I stare at him blankly.

"You think what you're doing right now is right for both of you? You think that to love each other is enough? I'll tell you this, Aom. I've been thinking the whole day since I left you this morning with her and I've made a huge mistake by doing that. I should have dragged you out from her because she's not where you belong. I'm angry because I've always thought that you wouldn't turn out to be like that. You always had that negative thoughts for tomboys like Tina. And now what? You're just simply falling for one!" 

"People change." I protest.

"Well yeah, you're just changing to a negative attitude. You think your parents will value the love you have for Tina? Have you ever thought about how people will view you? People don't gossip right in front of your face but they do talk behind your backs. Think about it. How will your parents endure all about those gossips?"

I once thought about this before I met Tina. Before I even realized that I would fall for someone like her. Tina has made me forget everything about this society. She only makes me remember how important it is to love each other dearly.

"I know, it's hard for everyone around me to accept what I really am though I am not going to give them a hard time. People only have a lifetime to find their true love. Some die with love and some don't. I have found one and I'm not going to give up on her. I don't know what makes me say all these words out loud but I'm not ashamed of holding her hands in the public and tell everyone I know that I give my heart to her. I love her and I also love my parents. If they love and understand me, this little point shouldn't be a huge problem to them. Like you, Van, will you accept what I am?" I ask.

"If you seek for a real love with a man even if it's not with me, I will truly admire you and I will always bless you no matter what. But this? You're asking me to support your abnormal love? I can't do that. I'm here to remind you about this. This is unacceptable." 

"Even if it's abnormal, but it's a kind of love I desire for. I know you love me, and I'm sorry. Only if I had the feelings for you in a return, things wouldn't go this badly."

"No matter what I will say, you will never change your mind, right?" 

"No, I've made it up with a thousand steps of consideration and I will never give this choice away."

"Then here's another problem I wanna tell you." 

"What is it?"

"I think your father is totally mad at you."