Tina's P.O.V

"No, you're not mine to have, Tina. I don't have what it takes to deserve you." Aom says quietly and sadly. Why? Why does she think like that? One minute she wants me, the next she denies. Okay, I admit it now that I don't really have the thoughts which are common with girls. I don't know what those girlie girls think and I suddenly feel like I belong to guys' world. It's hard to understand the concept of their thinkings. I sometimes have some difficulties understand the ladies in my house as well.  And it's even harder to understand Aom since she's a lady of mood swings.

"But Aom, to me you're perfect and-" I want to finish my sentence off but she cuts me.

"No, I admit the fact that I'm not perfect and I do make mistakes. I was made up of flaws and so were you. We all make mistakes and we're not perfect." she stills and I really wonder now of what she's thinking. She sounds so not herself and I don't know what to do.

"I do make flaws; so do you. I don't see the point of us not deserving each other." Her eyes burning into mine and they never leave.

"You just have no idea at all, do you? You're the only person who makes me feel like I'm out of your league. I'm usually the center of the attention and everybody always wants to know about me. But you, you make me feel this way. Even if I walk beside you, I feel like you want somebody else more than you want me. That's my personal oppinion. Even Mean is way better than I am." she explains.

"Stop taking Mean into our discussion. You know I don't like it when you compare yourself with other girls while I see you as the best already." I sound dead and sad, that's why she doesn't continue any further.

"It's just the fact that I can't resist." She finally replies and she is really in pain when shet thinks about it.

"Stay with me, can you? I don't know what else I can do if you're not with me." I beg and I know she's gonna deny me.

"No, I can't." She looks at me nervously as if she's willing to ask something more from me and she really does.

"I want us to stay where we are, not getting anything more than friends unless you clear out the problem between yourself and other girls. Especially, Mean." she continues. 

I froze there, not knowing what to say next. I have no relationships with all those girls and they're not my concern, except one, Mean. I do care for this girl and I really love her. I want her to view my love for her as the way I view myself toward her. But what else can I do when she gets me all wrong like tha? And how can I clear out the mess I have made between myself and her without hurting her? If I don't do anything at all, I'm sure I'm gonna lose Aom. Honestly speaking, I can't bear the thoughts of not having Aom with me.

"But you already know that I have no relationships with other girls at all. Not even Mean. There's nothing more than sisters." I complain and she is still the same, quiet, frozen and looks concerned.

"I'm not the type of person who falls for someone who is not available, Tina. I hope you understand me at this case. But you're the only one who makes me feel guilty as if I just steal you from somebody else. I don't know what you're thinking, but if we get together for now, I know that the same topic will be brought upon us again and I easily get tired of the same topic.I want you to clear the existing problem so that we can do something about it." There, she has finally revealed her thoughts. It's a huge request she's requesting me. I mean, I'm fine with it but what's with other girls? I can't control them and they also do whatever it takes to have me. But what am I supposed to do when I feel like I belong to this girl, who is standing in front of me, already? 

"So what do I need to do?" I ask.

She turns away and again, she finds herself hard to reply me.

"Convince me you'll not be taken by anyone. Convince me to believe in what you have for me is real. Convince me to feel like the happiest person in the world when I have to be with you. Can you do that? For... For... For us." 

For us. These words are strong and I want to make it happen.

"I want you to be mine, Aom. Not only today, but for every single day in the future." I on her cheek and she turns up to look at me. Her eyes are concering and I do want to kiss her on the forehead but I dare not. All I do now is to look straight into her eyes and never leave hers.

"I know." She replies.

Discussion ends and yeah, we know exactly how we feel toward each other and I have to try now is to convince I have nobody. Is that even possible? The problem is not about me because I know who I want to be with. Wait, that doesn't sound right. It's all because of me; that's why all of this happens. 

"I'd like to go back to my house, please Tina? I'm sorry to ditch you about your house planning but I need some time alone. It's been enough of the discussion today." she sounds tired.

"I hate taking you home." I finally make the sentence up.

She straightens her eyes as if she doesn't believe what she has just heard. "Okay, I'll take the taxi then. I'll see you later." then she walks away from me but I hurriedly grab her hand and whisper I hate taking you home because I don't want you to go home. I want you to be where I am.

She listens and she smiles just as soon as I have finished my sentence.

"Let's go. I'll take you home but I still hate doing that." I smile and I grab her hand as we go.

Aom's P.O.V

People might say that I'm crazy or stupid that I have let Tina waits for me. Some people say, "You have to do whatever it takes to have the person you like". But I don't wanna do that. I want to study that person before I've let myself on a journey with that one. Like I told her, I'm not the type of person who falls for someone who is unavailable. I just want to make sure to myself first that everything between us is fine and I don't want any interference from others.

"Aom." Tina sighs and squeezes my hand as we have finally arrived at my house. I don't say anything as my reply but I look as her as soon as she calls my name.

She gently put her other hand on my face and gently with her thumb. I know, this feels the best in any condition.

"Promise me you'll think about us. Please?" Her final request before she leaves and it's kinda hard to answer right away.

"Then you make me a promise to clear out everything first. Don't give up on me." I give her the clue then I open the door and get away from her immediately. She doesn't call me from the window or so and she must be smiling like an idiot. I don't know why but I feel kinda shy and it was a little bit awkward back then when I told her not to give up on me.

I walk into the house where my mother is always busy doing her job and she even, sometimes, doesn't notice me walking in. And it does happen again that she doesn't notice me walking in. She, of course, is so busy with her cashier thing. Of course, we do have waiters, and all she does is to sit at the counter and control her financial.

Dad, as always, leaves for his work so early and comes back home late at night. And as you already know, he's always been with my dad. I think my dad is more like Tina's dad's personal assistant now. To think about it, I kinda miss the conversation between me and my dad when I was younger. He wasn't this busy and he always had time for me when I needed him. It was always smooth, no difficulties and nothing. And I always shared with him my hard time, told him how my each day was. Now, he's only interested in hearing only important stuffs from me and it's irritating.

I get into the shop and inform my mom that I am finally home so that she won't freak out when she doesn't see me in the evening. There was that time before when I came home like this early, and my mom was so busy and I didn't drop her any word to let her know that I was finally home. In the evening, she freaked out and started to call everyone I knew and she even wanted to call the police. Luckily, she decided to check my room first and that was when she saw me home. She was suddenly relieved but turned to be mad. I was pretty young back then and she decided to use the violence to answer everything. Only a few lashes, though, it was fine.

When I drop her my word, she wants to know more about my dad, why I left school early. I don't get to tell her the story of me and Tina but I just tell her that some classes were canceled and that she Tina had to send me home early. She approves my lies and I just go straight into my bedroom.

Just as I get into the room, again, a thousand thoughts run into my head and it isn't easy to ignore. I lie on the bed with my uniforms remains unchanged, eyes to the ceiling, revising the words Tina has said to me before.

When she told me she had nothing for Mean, I wasn't sure if it was true or not. Why didn't I trust her when she already trusts me? Still, I am kind like a careful person and I don't want to make any mistake in the future. Well, I already made a mistake and it's falling for Tina. It doesn't mean that I regret myself for having that unique feeling for Tina, but for my parents, this kind of love is forbidden. My mom isn't hard to talk but my dad. Sigh. It's kind like complicated and I always know that there will always be complications when I fall for this person. But what century is this now? Oh well, whatever it is, I will walk straight ahead. I just want us to happen first, then the parents stage laters.

Mean is a very huge obstacle between us because we both know that Mean is not gonna give up on Tina. This is so a triangle thing that I watch over the tv. I always laugh when I watch this kind of movie and I always believe that there's no such thing like this. For now, I know and it's hard. Falling for someone who doesn't really belong to you 100% is hard to imagine. And it's even harder when you see other people find that person as attractive as the way you see her. Tina gives me hope to trust in her while Mean is a huge factore as a destroyer. Mean is sweet and I am just nasty. Why does Tina choose me over her?

While I'm thinking, my phone buzzes. I fish out my iPhone from my bag and of course, I already know who that is. It's just Tina.

Just a drop by text to check if you're feeling fine. 

See? Why does she always happen to interrupt my thoughts when there are so many that I have to think? I smile, though, I don't know why. Her text just lightens up my world. I hurriedly reply back her text but in a serious way.

If you can stop interrupt me while I have to do something personally, I will apreicate it. 

There! So that she won't bother me again.

You know what, I don't care if you have to do something personally again, but from now on, I'm gonna text you when I don't get to see you. 

Very cute but I'm not gonna look forward to that.

As you may.

Then I put my phone away and I don't know if she still replies my text or not but I suddenly feel like my head is heavy and I just want to sleep. I hear the buzz again but I just ignore it. Slowly, I fall asleep without realizing myself.