Tina's P.O.V

 

"Can you just listen to me this once and just open your mouth widely for this medicine?" Aom, again, is acting like a boss over here. 

The doctor has come in and told me to get more rest since there are itches remained on my body almost everywhere, He instructed Aom to give me that awful medicine once every 4 hours. I mean everybody knows the taste of medicine and who will actually like that bitter taste? I would rather...

"Don't you dare to think of 'I'd rather die' to me." She says as I'm thinking of that.

"No, I wasn't thinking of that." I reject in fact I did think of that a moment of ago. How interesting.

"Okay, then just drink this please." She hands me 4 pills of medicine; yet, I still don't wanna take them.

"Can I just drink that later? Besides, I feel like I get better already." 

She rolls her eyes. "Yeah, because of the judgement of your feelings, that's why you're here."

I shake my head. "That's a different story. Aom please, I don't want medicine." 

 She takes away the pills in her hands and walks to the table which is a little bit far from the bed; and there's a phone on it.

"Hi, I'm sorry, but can I have some honey to the room 304?" then after a moment of silence, "Okay, thank you so much." then she hungs up the phone. 

I wonder why she even needs the honey.

After a while, a nurse comes in with a small glass of honey in her palm and I think it's about a spoonful.

She gives me a quick smile then chuckles a little bit to me as she's talking to Aom quietly. Actually, with this fever, I actually can't hear pretty well. That quite takes a lot of time to cover, I guess. 

And then, the nurse leaves the room, which means Aom and I have to be alone again.

Aom keeps turning her back to me and I wonder if she's mad at me that I didn't take the medicine. 

A while later, she comes back with the spoon she was given a moment before when the nurse came in. On the spoon, she has some kind of flour mixed with the honey.

"You can't tell me now that you hate the bitter taste because it's now nothing but sweet." then she sits on the bed besides me.

"Eh?" 

"I mixed the pills with the honey. As you can see, it now looks like a flour with honey." She smirks and continues as I don't reply. "You have to drink it or you'll get worse. I don't want to come here everyday, you know." she complains. 

I make that awful face then open my mouth as she pulls the spoon into it. It tastes weird and it smells strange, but I'm still happy. Aom made that for me. 

I swallow then she hands me a glass of water. 

"Drink this. Your throat needs it after some sweetness." Her expression is serious. 

"Sheesh, you remind me of mom." I say as I take the glass from her and drink.

"And you remind me of a naughty girl." she rolls her eyes. 

I sit back and she remains in the same place on my bed, never takes her eyes off me.

"From the very first moment I saw you, I never thought you would be this important to me." She sighs as she places her hands on mine. Some people actually mind about the itches I have due to the allergy and she's actually the third person who ever touches me with that itches on. (First, my mom. Second, P'Air.)

"And I didn't expect you to get this nasty when I first saw you at the general school." I tease but she doesn't seem to want to get along with the joke.

"I'm serious." She looks up to me, doesn't smile. "You don't know how I was when I heard you were admitted here. Even if it's a small thing, but the idea of you being harmed haunts me."

I smile as I place her hands in my palm.

"I'm strong. Don't worry." I try to smile to calm her back.

"No, you're not. P'Air has already told me. You were a sick baby and I feel very bad for that. But there's nothing I can do. All ever I can do now is to take care of you. Never let you get this ill again." Aom says, with her worried expression.

"It will come back. I will always get ill, if you should know about me." I smile. 

"No, it won't. I will never let you eat any seafood again." 

"I have many allergies." I manage to say.

"What else?" She widens her eyes. 

"Oh, you know. I have allergies of people. I can't see any other girls besides you. I will literally feel sick if anybody else tries to get me but you." I smirk then she elbows me.

"Stupid." She giggles. 

Then the door bursts open. P'Air and Mean get in. P'Air doesn't make that well face at all.

"Are you allergic to me too, Tina?" Mean asks when she reaches the bed. She must have heard the converstion.

I stare up to her, so does Aom. 

"Aom, why don't you go eat something? I think you haven't eaten at all since this afternoon, yes?"

"Since the seafood battle?" Mean asks sacarstically.

"Mean." I stare at her. 

"I think I'll go get some coffee." Aom says as she's getting uncomfortable.

"No, Aom, it's something you should see too." Mean says.

She shakes her head. "I don't want to be in this."

"But aren't you a part of it?" Mean raises her question.

"But it doesn't mean I have to stay at all." Then she leaves the room.

"Uh, I think I want some coffee too so I-" P'Air says but Mean cuts her off.

"No, P'Air. Stay. I want you to see this. I want you to know this." She whispers.

"P'Air, please stay with me. I have talked to her before alone, remember? But she just didn't listen to me." I beg her. 

P'Air nods then sits down on the sofa a little bit far from each other. 

"How are you?" Mean is able to ask as she's sitting down on the bed, exactly the same spot as where Aom was sitting a moment ago.

"I'm good." I say the truth.

"You don't look good to me with all the itches." She shakes her head.

"I'm technically good with my health condition. I just had some medicine." 

"I know you don't like medicine." She looks at me like I'm a stranger to her. 

I rest my head on the pillow as to reposition my head. I don't want to sit straight up just to look at her. I don't want to look at her and give her the false hope.

"Let's just get straight to the point, shall we?" I murmur. 

She half closes her eyes then opens them again.

"It's the same thing all over again." She says. 

I don't reply yet I know she's willing to listen more to me. I still remain calm.

"Say something." She turns her gaze to my eyes again. Somehow I feel like it's some sort of pressure on me. 

"What do you want me to say?" I return the look to her.

"Say what you think about me." 

I take a heavy sigh as if I'm starting to get bored with this situation. In fact, it's really boring, you know. You just have to repeat your answer all over again to someone whom you think you can never be with. It's just like that. She demands for my answer but then, she just ignores it again at the end when I refuse her in the face. Then, she will come up again another time just to ask me the same questions.

"Mean, I'm serious. What do you want to talk about?" 

"And you think I wasn't serious when I asked you what you think of me? Is that question hard for you to answer me? You don't even hesitate when Aom asks you this type of question and-"

"Aom never asks me this question because she knows what I think about her. Some words aren't meant to say but they know inside their head." I cut her off.

"Why does Aom have to be perfect at everything like that?" She raises her voice.

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to. You think I don't know anything by the way that you look at her? You think I know you less than you know yourself? The way you look at her is like she's the only one you can ever love in the world. I don't see the point why you should let yourself fall that far while she doesn't even care about you. Can you at least open your eyes and look at what has just happened? She was nowhere to be found when I found you in the apartment and she was just here by the time you got before. Where's the fairness that I'm supposed to have?"

"Is that about jealousy war?" I propose the idea.

"Exactly! I thougt you were better than any other people who would choose the best girl to live with!" Mean shouts.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I look at her straight without avoiding her gaze.

"I thought you would choose the one who has always been there for you, who would pull you back from the dark and whispers 'it's okay' for you, who wouldn't mind laughing at your terrible jokes, who would always cook you breakfast and dinner every time you leave and get back home. Can't you see? This is me! This is who you should want." Mean claims. 

"I should have wanted you, Mean. In a way that sisters care for each other. But Aom is all I ever need. You don't know how much it pains me when I bring up the idea of her leaving me. Mean, please, if you love me, this shouldn't be a problem. For now, I just want your blessing. You think you can do that?"

"You said it yourself that you should have wanted me. That means you realize how much I've done to you. You can realize this idea, why can't you grow this idea on me? You think you're the only one who can feel the pain about love? If that's the case, you forget it that I'm also the one who feels the pain every time too. I'm a human and my heart is bleeding. And you're the one who's lashing it." She bursts out.

I'm a human and my heart is bleeding. And you're the one who's lashing it. 

Those words shock me immediately. I know that it's all my fault to give her hope without any attempt to make it come true. All she said is true. I'm the one who's destroying her at every part and she deserves my apology. 

"I'm sorry." that's all I can say.

"That's it? All you can say is you're sorry? Is that really all you can give to me? You think your sorry can heal the wound that I have always been wounded?"

"What else do you expect me to say when you know that I feel nothing about you? You want me to say I love you but then you know that I don't really mean it. What's the point?" I suddenly turn to anger. 

"You can always-"

"That's enough. I need to rest. If you don't have anything more important to talk about, please leave me alone. P'Air, while I'm resting, I want you to make sure that there's nobody else in this room except you and Aom."

"You think that this isn't important?" Mean whispers. 

"To me, it isn't." Then I turn the blanket over my head and start to ignore. 

She, on the other hand, stands there for a while and runs out of the room without letting anybody else know about her. 

"That's the bravest thing I've ever heard you said." P'Air says to me as soon as Mean leaves. 

"I don't wanna say that to her. I'm sorry." I can't help but feeling bad for what I have said. Mean, was one of the sisters I love dearly, turns out to recieve a bunch of trashy words from me. 

"You don't have a choice." I can feel P'Air smiles along with the words. 

"Loving someone isn't a choice. But choosing to lash her heart has always been one."