Another nightmare, it was what Mi Young wanted to believe. She wanted to wake up from the horrendous experience so she failed to hear the sound of rushing feet coming towards her. Her heart stopped beating for a moment all she saw was pure blurriness.

Pinching her arm was no use. The pain was still there and she winced into it. The sight of Jaejoong lifelessly lying on the hospital bed with wounds bleeding and the heart monitor on flat was beyond traumatizing. His hands were dangling at the side of the bed showing no life at all. She just stood there and waited, waited for the doctors to come in and do something to Jaejoong. Perhaps they can still save him. Perhaps they can still shock him back to life or perhaps…. They could just cover him with white cloth and wheel him to the morgue.

She came to a realization that everything was not a dream.

She shook her head in desperation as tears rushed, same moment as the doctor and nurses came with Rei Mi and the rest wearing the same worried face. Worry and agitation was clearly written all over them and the sad aura was felt in that small room and Mi Young was suffocating.

Call it adrenaline when Mi Young forgot all her injuries all of a sudden. The broken ribs and bandaged foot were dragged outside the room and rushed to see someone she wished she never knew. Changmin and Junsu followed and tried to stop the raging girl but her strength was unbelievable. It seemed like she wasn’t suffering from any injuries at all. The anger finally reached her head and no soft talking was able to impede it.

She wanted to be happy.  That was all. A simple wish and Jaejoong was her happiness. But sometimes, the simplest wishes are the hardest to fulfill.

The girl from Jeju was crying her heart out as she made her way room where the devil was resting, having the wall as her support. People that she passed by eyed her in full curiosity but she didn’t give a damn nor stop even for a millisecond. She can’t even see them to start with. Her focused was purely in the place where Ji Won was, not minding that she was literally dragging her still weak body into its limits. And with a loud bang, the door was shoved so hard that it nearly broke. Both Changmin and Junsu had to step back, shocked.

“You!” They heard Mi Young screamed at the sleeping girl, waking her up in the process.  She pointed at Ji Won in full anger and walked to her bedside with the IV pole in target. Fortunately, (or unfortunately) the two guys were fast enough to stop her from pulling the IV drip from the pole and from Ji Won’s skin. Even the police who were on the door were slightly taken aback with the scene but can’t do anything because Junsu signaled them not to interfere.

“What are you doing?” Ji Won protested with a shaky voice, obviously shocked and afraid of the sudden intrusion.

“I changed my mind Ji Won, I will kill you now! I will kill you for killing Jaejoong! I’ll make sure that you won’t leave this hospital alive. I hate you and I want you dead!” Even the most evil person in the world still has feelings. Ji Won was startled with the news and somehow her eyes glistened with tears and sadness but for Mi Young they were nothing but fake. She lost her words. ‘So Kim Jaejoong died’ she thought. Whether she liked it or not, Kim Jaejoong played a huge part of her life so she would never laugh at his death, not ever even if she planned it. They could’ve been together but life was tough on them all.

“And you dare cry huh? I will kill you with my own hands you !” Mi Young yelled, screaming while trying to free herself from the tight from Changmin and Junsu. “Let me go! Let me kill this monster! She killed Jaejoong. She deserves to die and not Jae! I will kill her!” Her voice was whole and loud, full of conviction and determination. No one would guess that the girl was injured.  She was so strong that the two guys struggled to keep her still. Changmin wanted to be afraid but he needed to do something about it. He needed to stop Mi Young.

“Mi Young, stop it. Let the police handle it. Don’t waste your energy to this girl. You know very well that she’s not worth it so please, for the love of Jaejoong hyung calm down.” But were those words enough to calm a girl who just lost the most important person in her life for the second time? No. Changmin knew it too. He knew that no one can stop Mi Young, any girl, but it was worth a try.

“No.” Her voice lowered and Changmin breathed in relief, believing that he was successful in giving some light into her brain but he was wrong. He just made it worst.

“She killed Jaejoong. Calming down wont bring him back. I can only calm down when I see that ’s face ripped from her skull and I will do it myself!” She then tried to free herself again but the two guy’s strength towered her.

“And you will be a criminal like her.” Junsu finally said something. The statement was for the girl in his arm but his eyes threw daggers to the girl on the bed.

“No.” She protested but caved in eventually and fell into Changmin’s waiting arms, burying her head into his chest and cried. “She killed Jaejoong…” she said, barely audible as she punched his chest, as if finding it as another way to release her anger with what was left of her energy.

“Let’s go back.” Junsu suggested and the door snapped open again, revealing a smiling Saki.

“Mi Young!” Junsu frowned at her voice. It was too joyful for the situation but he didn’t say a word. She pulled Mi Young from Changmin and wrapped her into a bear hug. “Oppa is okay. No need to worry, he’s alive.”

As if on cue, all the pain that was forgotten a while ago shot back at Mi Young like crazy. She cried again but this time, in pain and making everyone worried.

“The heart monitor cords snapped when the patient convulsed so it went flat. There’s nothing to worry about. Jaejoong is on his way to full recovery.” The doctor explained to the group who were in Mi Young’s room.  The bandages on her body were changed as she was currently resting. Everyone rushed beside her and guarded her, not letting her stand or even move a bit for she might do some crazy things again.

The atmosphere was light again and they all started to smile at the news.

“But what happened to him?” Mi Young asked hoarsely. She nearly lost her voice after yelling her heart’s content a while ago but she was feeling way better than before. Way better.

“That was the effect of the drugs he took. He will be experiencing withdrawals these coming days, two weeks as maximum and after that, he will be better. We controlled his drug intake so expect the withdrawals to come.”

“We understand.” Yunho nodded and shook the doctor’s after giving them the good news.

It was indeed a wave of relief. They were all smile expect for Mi Young who suddenly became quiet. The reason? Nobody knew and no one dared to ask.

“Jaejoong is awake now and waiting for you.” The doctor said with eyes focused on Mi Young.

“Let’s visit Oppa, Mi Young.” Rei said, smiling and Mi Young just shook her head silently.

“What’s wrong? Everyone eyed the two girls, waiting for their words.

“I don’t want to.” She looked away and covered her body with the blanket properly.

“Eh?” Of course everyone would be surprised since they were expecting her to be all giddy and excited. But none of their expectations happened.

“But … But Mi Young?” Rei voiced out the question for everyone will gently sitting at the side of her bed and holding her bandaged arm. Relief was written to Mi Young’s face but her actions were quite unpredictable.

Sensing all the eyes was on her, Mi Young was obligated to say something.

She sighed. “I just want to rest. It feels like all my bones are broken.”

“They are.” Changmin said as a matter of fact and earned a warning gaze from Yunho.

Of course she had broken bones and needed to rest but no one was buying her excuse. Her first reaction when she first found out that Jaejoong was awake was way, way different from the reaction she was giving now.  She was able to kiss him in that situation. So she gave another reason and hoped that they will bite into it.

“Rei needs to talk to him. I think it’s about time to read the letters their Umma left for them and I don’t want to ruin that moment by being there.” adding some serious eye contact to make it more believable.

“But you will not ruin any moment. I’m sure Jaejoong hyung would love to see you and read those letters with you.” Yoochun replied back only to be answered by,

“But I don’t want to see him!” She finally snapped, making everyone look at her in utter shock. “You can go see him and I will stay in this room. I’ve had enough for this day and I need a break. For goodness sake I need a break! Having a nightmare about Jaejoong’s funeral was way too morbid and seeing that… that… that machine goes flat is too much so please! I will see him soon but not now, not even today.” she breathed a good amount of air after saying all of it.

“O…okay.” Yunho answered for everyone, who suddenly lost their tongues. “And I think we should go see him now. “ He then tapped Yoochun’s shoulder that was sitting on the bed beside his wife and tilted his head to the side, signaling him to go out. Junsu and Saki immediately stood from the couch across the room and headed to the door, clutching Changmin’s arm so he can go with them.

“We’ll be right back. Jaemi will be here soon.” Yunho said before closing the door and leaving Mi Young alone.

So the real reason for Mi Young’s sudden mood change was because she needed a break. She was so scared to death and seeing Jaejoong without having her much needed rest would mean heart attack. Yes, she was strong but strength also has its limit and it reached hers.

It all started when that nightmare appeared and whether Mi Young would admit or not, it left a great impact on her. It felt real and scary and it was the first time she ever told anyone about it. No one could blame her. She never wanted it to happen. If she could only erase it, she would be more than happy to do it but it was impossible. So all she had to do was to live with it and convinced herself that it was all a nightmare and nightmares aren’t real so she had nothing to worry about.

With that thought, she fell asleep.

“Where’s Mi Young?” Those were the first words that came out from Jaejoong’s mouth upon seeing his family at the door. He was still weak but looked so much better.

“And hello to you too.” Changmin greeted, irritated, obviously adding a pound of sarcasm. “Good news, she doesn’t want to see you.”

“Changmin.” Yunho glared as the others settled themselves on the couches in the room.

Jaejoong, who was well aware of what Changmin was pointing out just looked away, didn’t bother to talk back because he was on the losing side. He knew how Changmin was so protective of Mi Young so going against the maknae was going to be a waste of energy.

Sensing the tensed atmosphere between the soul fighters, Yoochun tried to lighten it a bit. “She needs rest Hyung. She is too weak to come here now and the doctor told her not to move too much.” A slight lie but no one protested and said any word for they knew it was for the best. Worry won’t help Jaejoong in anyway so nobody told him that Mi Young nearly killed Ji Won.

“How are you feeling Oppa?” Saki asked while Rei seconded with a nod.

He smiled. “I’m okay.”

“Wow. That’s surprising, considering that Hyun Joong gave you drugs that can kill a thousand elephants.”

Jaejoong was alarmed upon hearing his friend’s name. “Where is he?”

“Jail.” Changmin uttered like it was the most casual thing in the world.

“You send him to jail?” Jaejoong winced at the sudden pained that struck him. He still couldn’t move freely.

“I want to but these guys’ heart melted with his smile. Tsk. Fans.” The maknae hissed and ignored the dark stares thrown at him.

Jaejoong was about to say something but Changmin read his mind like a physic.  “And don’t you dare ask for him because you will not get it. He’s banned from this place. It’s Mi Young’s order.”

The eldest couldn’t say anything since it was Mi Young’s who asked for it but he wished they could’ve allowed Hyun Joong to at least talk to him. He had a lot to say and he also wanted to apologize for dragging him in that mess. He didn’t argue since he was too weak to do it so he just brushed the thought off after making a mental note to call him after he got home from that place.

And now all he wanted was to see Mi Young.

“I want to see Mi Young.”

“She doesn’t want to see you.” Finally Changmin blurted it out and of course, he finally got his hard earned smack from Yunho.

“Will you just shut up for a moment as in seriously?”

“Hyung.” the maknae wined will gently rubbing the sore spot.

“What do you mean?” Jaejoong looked at Yunho pleadingly. He wanted an honest answer and he was sure that only Yunho can give it to him. “Why Mi Young doesn’t want to see me? So it’s true that she really doesn’t want to see me.”

“Bingo.”

“Ah Jae,” Yunho looked around and saw Changmin who had his arms across his chest with a daring smirk as if saying: ‘I shut up, now you explain.’ The leader sighed in defeat and looked at Jaejoong apologetically. “You kinda scared her…”

“Kinda? Hyung scared the hell out of her!” Changmin butted in and earned another smack but this time, from Junsu.

“Yah, you want to die?”

“I scared her? Why? I didn’t do anything?” Of course, in that state Jaejoong cant do anything to Mi Young. But he was wrong.

“Well… she saw the withdrawals and… and she thought you died.”

“Seriously?”

“Do we look like we’re joking?” Changmin jolted in again but was more careful. He quickly covered his head with his hands for protection.

“Changmin,  would you please shut the up? What is wrong with you?” Yoochun snapped at the maknae.

The maknae returned al their deadly glare with a scowl. “Just tell him everything. You don’t need to ing lie or at least try to laced it with icing! Mi Young got scared because you throw some withdrawals on her. She almost killed her sister if Junsu Hyung and I weren’t there. She had enough that’s why she decided to take a break and not to see you.”  He then eyed Yunho afterwards. “That wasn’t so hard to say, was it? Jaejoong Hyung is old enough to handle things. For heaven’s sake he had an accident not a heart attack!”

“Min…”

“There’s no use breaking it to him oh so gently.” He then turned to Jaejoong who was terribly shock. “You rest and try not to think of anything but bringing that Ji Won to jail if you want to see Mi Young again.”

Surprisingly, Jaejoong nodded and leaned back to his bed like an obedient kid. “I’ll rest now.” Changmin knew he was doing it because he wanted to see Mi Young so bad so the maknae smiled inwardly and exited the room to talk to the police outside, leaving everyone in there to do their job. His was done.

“Oppa… I guess you’re not ready to read Umma’s letters.” Rei smiled with a bit of disappointment.

“I don’t want to read them.” It was everyone’s cue to leave the room. The siblings were left alone including Saki but she remained silent.

“Why?” Now her disappointment was very evident. She wanted to read those letters so bad and she waited long enough because she wanted to read them with Jaejoong around but it will never happen. She wanted to be angry and throw some fits but stopped herself realizing Jaejoong’s condition, cursing herself silently.

“It’s all part of the past. It’s enough for me to know that she was never forgot us.”

It was a simple explanation but Rei wanted more. She was holding the letters and holding back the tears. She never once let go of them, hoping to read them anytime.  It was indeed unfair for her.

Jaejoong sensed Rei’s discomfort and read her mind so he said, “You may read them if you want to.” as a consolation to somehow make her feel better. Disappointing someone was last on his list.

“I’m not asking for your permission to read them.” Rei said, trying to suppress the anger building inside her. It was their mother’s letters. Letters that she shed her blood to write, literally and her brother was refusing to read them. It felt like all their mother’s efforts were put into waste. “I want us to read them. Umma wanted us to.”

Jaejoong sighed and with the help of Saki, he sat up straight. Saki arranged the pillows to support his back and tucked him gently. He smiled in appreciation, which fueled Rei’s anger. How can he be so calm in spite of all?

“I know. But I don’t think Umma wanted us to feel her sufferings as we read those letters.”

Rei was silenced.

“I’m sure Umma wouldn’t want us to read them if she’s still here. Mimi, those letters contains all her sufferings. Their content will just add up to the guilt I feel here.” he sighed and pointed at his chest. “It will be hard for I know that I will not be able to do anything anymore. I won’t be able to save her from the hell she was put in. I don’t want to feel that pain Mimi because I know I should’ve been there.”

Rei sobbed silently, getting the message Jaejoong tried to point out and it broke her heart.

“I’m sorry Mimi. I don’t want to disappoint you. I know you want to read those letters with me but I’d rather not do it. But I’m giving you the choice Mimi. You can read them even without me.”

“No.” She shook her head and smiled with tears still leaving her eyes. “I understand. I will burn them as soon as possible.”

“Mimi.”

“It’s just hard for me because I’ve never met her. I don’t know a single thing about her. And I thought that maybe… maybe her hand writing will satisfy my longing but I guess….” she sniffed. “I don’t want to read them now.”

“But Mimi…”

“Hmm.” She shook her head again and brushed her tears with the back of her hand. “I won’t read them. Don’t worry about me. I guess I should be satisfied with the little memories I got of her from you.”

“Mimi… you know…”

“Oppa. I understand.” She took his hand and nodded in understanding.

 But Jaejoong wasn’t convinced at all. “You want to read them?” It sounded more of a statement than of a question.

“Yeah, but with what you said, I somehow lost interest.”

“You’re lying.”

“I am not.”

“Mimi.”

“Oppa… I don’t want to read them and that’s final. Let’s not talk about this anymore.” she smiled as she looked down to floor as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

“Are you sure?”

She sighed and smiled genuinely. “Yes, I am sure and I promise to burn them we when get home.” She said, raising her right hand.

Jaejoong laughed gently. Rei was acting like a kid and he missed those moments.

“Can you give me a hug?” He eyed both of the girls and carefully spread his arms like a pleading kid requesting a hug from his Umma. Rei and Saki looked at each other and smiled before giving Jaejoong the biggest bear hug ever.

“I thought I will not be able to hug you like this again.” He whispered while sniffing their scent.

“Bad grass dies hard.” Saki joked and they all laughed.

“Now you need to rest Oppa.” Rei said, breaking the hug.

Jaejoong shook his head. “I’m not yet tired and I want to see Mi Young.”

“But…”

“Please?”

Her books were with her and she got a lot of lessons missed. She was sure that she will repeat that semester. But nothing seemed to enter her mind. She was reading but her brain was failing to comprehend anything. Her mind was occupied by one single person, Jaejoong. She clicked her tongue in annoyance because she doesn’t want to think of him that time. She wanted to busy herself so she can forget about what happened even just for a while but it was a major failure. So she just slammed the book close and eyed the door, as if someone is telling her that someone will soon knock. It couldn’t be Jaemi since she already arrived and gave her the books she requested and went out with Yunho to talk to the DBSK manager. Changmin and Junsu were talking to the police and Yoochun went home for YooMi. So who could it possible be?

The door suddenly opened and she wasn’t even surprised to see Saki, holding an IV drip and Rei, pushing a wheel chair with Jaejoong on it.

Will she smile? She wasn’t that sure what expression to give but she was happy that the doctor was right. Jaejoong was really recovering. She smiled inwardly with that thought. But still, she was still mad at him for scaring her.

“What is he doing here?” she asked nonchalantly and gave both Saki and Rei a questioning look. “I believe my instructions were clear. I don’t want to see him yet.  I will when I’m ready.”

“But Mi Young, Oppa-“ But Saki was cut, almost immediately.

“Bring him back.” Mi Young got her book back and pretended reading, looking like she wasn’t interested at all. Jaejoong stayed quiet.

Mi Young gave a small smile and began to wheel but Jaejoong held her hand that made her stop.

“You go, I’ll stay.” he instructed so the two girls were left with no choice but to obey.

And after they went out, another fury was set loose, again on Mi Young’s side.

“What are you doing here? Didn’t they tell you that I don’t want to see yet? I’m not ready so please…” Mi Young stopped when Jaejoong wasn’t responding to her plea. He was just looking at her like she was the prettiest thing in Earth. Well, for Jaejoong, she is. And that made her angrier.

“I’m calling the nurse.” She snapped and was about to press the small button on her side Jaejoong suddenly spoke, making all her injured veins numb. She was left hanging with her finger in mid air, slack- jawed and eyes widened.

“Let’s get married.”

*******************************************************

I'm very sorry for the unexpected hiatus. I suddenly lost inspiration.... Busy at work... everything

I'll be posting the last chapter this week to be followed by Yunho's story. I hope you'll continue to support my stories... Thank you very much ^^

unedited

By Fate

aejae22