Chapter fourty seven- Hopelessly in love
 

My father slams his hand against the table, the sound resonating in the large living room of his mansion. "Ka Eun! We are barely earning anything now compared to before, look what happened? I bet you it was the Kim's doing, and that Park Yoochun? Who is he? Another one of your good husband's friends?" He yells across the room, I stare at him and then back at eomma who remains calmly in her posture, staring into the distance, not even saying a word. 

"Shh, Jaejoong's probably still outside after just sending me here, he might hear you." I say, I don't know how to answer him back, and Yoochun has been ignoring me and refusing my calls. I don't think he would be doing that stuff, I'm sure he won't, he's not like that, I'm surprised too and I'm probably in more shock than appa is right now. 

"So what if he hears? I hate to say this but I want nothing to do with the Kim family, and I don't want anything to do with the Park family either!" He complains again. I understand why he's upset but I can't leave Jaejoong, and Yoochun is my friend. 

"Appa, if you're going to bring the topic up about forcefully seperating Jaejoong and I, I'm afraid the answer will still be the same as last time." I say, my head hanging low. I don't want to look at him in the eye, I feel horrific, I'm not sure what's going on between these two families but I sure know that Jaejoong's parents aren't pleasant and has caused a lot of pain and hardships for them. I don't know the connection between Yoochun and Mr and Mrs Kim, but I do know that he's one of Jaejoong's bestfriends... and it just hurts how he really did crush the company like that, and who knows whether or not Jaejoong is part of it or not- 

No. 

I can't doubt him. I hate this. Jaejoong has no reason to use me, he doesn't even care about anything. 

"Ka Eun! It's so shameful how your mother and father in law are the people who legitimately want to destroy us." He says. I tilt my eyes to the side to see eomma still sitting there calmly, her eyelids droopy. 

"Why would you tell me to seperate from my husband?" I ask, emphasising the last word. Silence is bestowed upon us but eomma clears and finally speaks up after that long moment of silence. 

"Darling... how many times has that man taken off his ring?"

He's taken it off various times to be honest, I don't count and I don't intentionally look at his finger but I just know. I, on the other hand has not taken this ring off once since the moment he slipped it on my finger despite how mad I got at him, or how much I wanted to strangle him back in the days. Jaejoong had chosen this ring for me, and it really does look beautiful... and to me, this ring is a symbol of our connection.

"Does he even love you? Honestly." She questions again, this time crossing her arms and leaning back further on the couch. I gulp, refusing to speak a word.

"I've seen that man with other women."

"I know that man has commitment issues." 

She says all this line by line, I cross my legs tighter on the couch feeling extremely nervous and guilty for lying. 

"I've caught him without that wedding ring." 

"I always wondered how you were able to get with him the moment you encountered him back then in this house considering he has numerous issues, so let me ask again, does he even love you?" 

I sigh, "No... he doesn't, and this marriage is never meant a thing to us." Honesty is spilling out of my guts, what more should I be doing to my parents? Not obeying them, being too stupid to inherit this company and have it fall into someone else's hands... marrying Jaejoong... 

"Meant..us?" They both ask in unison. I swallow hard, swallowing a huge heap of air but to me, it's all my anxieties about this issue. "Appa...eomma... I, I'm in love with Kim Jaejoong." I say, immediately clutching my face. 

The two don't say anything but I can feel their gaze on mine. "I... you don't even need to tell me to divorce him, because I think he will eventually and naturally obtain those papers I never wish to see. That man is in love with someone else." I yell, spilling out my emotions. I have spent all these days calming down any negative feelings I had towards him but it's so hard to hold it in when mentioned. 

I feel eomma getting up and sitting next to me on the couch, her arms around me, "Silly child," she begins to say, patting me on the head, "I'm sorry we have never been there for you for your life, but I'm glad you turned out to be a naive little girl with a very good heart." 

Appa remains silent but from the crack of my fingers that are covering my face, I can see him looking at the floor dejectedly. "Darling, I'm happy that this love you have for him is strong, because it means you are very faithful. Don't ever feel bad, that man is silly, how can he not fall in love with you? You're a beautiful girl inside and out. However, love is inevitable and things that are meant to happen will eventually happen. If he is to ever leave you, that's his loss because I'm sure a lot of other attractive men would go after my gorgeous girl!"

The words of comfort fill my mind, but it doesn't fill my heart. 

Love is selfish, it's almost like I don't care about his happiness, I just want him with me. 

I don't care whether or not he loves me, I want his presence. 

I need his presence. 

*

"Myungsoo I'm sorry to bother you again but can you please look up this woman by the name of Tiffany Hwang?" I ask over the line. I can feel him walking around on the spot and tapping his foot. 

"I can't disobey you can I? But... Ka Eun, please don't be like this, this isn't you at all." 

"I'm sorry, just... please, this is something only you can do for me." I desperately say, I think I'm evolving into a monster. 

"Sure, I'll call you back. Please be happy, because when you're upset I'm upset too, stay well Ka Eun." He says before hanging up. Myungsoo is such a gentlemen, but how come I didn't fall in love with him?

I cuddle my knees on the couch, it's currently five in the evening, not time for dinner yet. Jaejoong usually comes home at around seven, that's only if he comes home, but I would have dinner prepared for him on the tab