Chapter thirty-one: Feelings 

Before- three years ago _____________________________________________________________________________

It was actually a miracle that my friends would actually tell me to go with them to the movies, considering how I drifted with them so much. I really have spent the majority of my time working my off and trying to support myself. I curl into a little ball on my bed and rest my chin on my knees. 

*Flashback*
I have a morning shift to do, it’s not like Jae Eun has officially opened yet so I’m still running my other job in the meantime and my boss did not even think about letting me off just once and I didn’t want to anger him either. They said to meet up at 12:30PM and travel together to the city to watch the movie. 
My shift ends right at 12:30 so I would have to rush to the train station, and even so I would be at least ten minutes late. 

I arrive at the train station, to see no one. 

I chuck my friend in charge of the outing a text.

Hey, sorry for being a few minutes later :C where are you guys?
-Ka Eun

“Oh, to be honest we just needed ten people so we could get the movie discounts! But then a boy from another class happened to come along so we got him instead. Whether you come or not has nothing to do with me.” I read out loud to myself. Before I had the chance to take two steps to walk away from the train station, I could feel my eyes watering. 

*End of Flashback*

Someone opens the door and brushes off the snow on his jumper, well that only person would be Jaejoon anyway. “Gee, it is pretty cold outside but thanks for leaving a little bit of money I managed to buy two hot coffees, don’t get me wrong I don’t really care about you but the second cup was half price so…” 
I close my eyes and let out my cries into my pillow, completely trapped in my own world and not listening to any noise nor what Jaejoon is saying. 

“Yeah and then because of all that random I ended up coming back early.” I ignore him. He edges his way towards me and gives me a little shove, “Why aren’t you listening to me?!” He asks, irritated. 
I don’t know what I’m doing but as soon as he approaches me I throw my arms around him and pollute his jacket with snot and tears and random disgusting substances.

Now- three years later_____________________________________________________________________________

The person I’ve been apparently loathing, dreading, yet keeping me company and slightly missing is… Jaejoong? Does he know? I’m sure he knows, but why does he have to hide it from me? So in other words if Appa never announced it last night he would have never told me. 

What the hell?!

I lie in my bed thinking about what had happened last night and how my so called friends completely neglected me and only got close to me to gold dig off some other guys. 

Disgusting.

Even so, it still upsets me so much that they would even have the tendency to do that to me and how we seemed like really good friends a few hours before the event. Is there even a difference with being a poor loner derping around in a microscopic house and being a rich girl having everything money can afford? 
WELL MONEY CAN’T EVEN AFFORD REAL FRIENDS.

So tell me, what the hell is wrong with this world? What the hell is wrong with me? Why did Jaejoong even hide that for so long does he not even have little understanding that I missed him quite a lot?

Tears begin to develop in my eyes, and once again I bury my face into my pillow which is still kind of wet from last night after I came home.

*
“Ka Eun, get out of your room or I will barge in.” 

“Go away!” I scream, but I think that gave Jaejoong the best reason to come inside. “Look Ka Eun, I’m not trying to add lemon juice to your cut but like when you get to this level in society many people will take advantage of you so don’t be stupid! Well I’m not trying to call you stupid but just don’t be too naïve and I mean, you may not have girl best friends you can share your feelings to but I mean you can always make friends with my boys!” He says while placing his on my bed, I can feel myself slipping slowly downwards because his weight is lowering the mattress. 

He’s so fat. 

“It really is alright, and be happy! If you’re that depressed I can take you to a place that you like to go to! Just for a day or like I can buy you another teddy?” He says again.

“Why do you sound so stiff?” I ask, my voice muffled into the pillow. I take a little peak and realise he’s reading off his phone. 

“What?” He asks.

“Yeah, you actually , just reading a pile of words your friends probably gave you.” He flails his arms in the air and decides to jump onto the bed and lay down right next to me for no reason. 

“Fine, I do .” 

“Yeah, Jaejoon.” I can hear him gulp down his saliva. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were him?” Jaejoong coughs and sits up on the bed. 

“I don’t know, what if you fell in love with me the moment I told you? I obviously don’t want that to happen and also I was curious on how long it would take you to ing find out yourself, didn’t realise you were that stupid.”

“Idiot!” I scream. 

“Rude.” He replies.

“You’ll never ever stop being so conceited will you?” I start as I throw my arms around his neck, “Ka Eun can you like get aw-”

“I won’t ever like you but I really missed you a lot okay! I thought you were at least my friend!” I randomly blurt out. He awkwardly places his hand on my back and pats it. 

“There, there stop it I feel weird.” 

“HAN JAEJOON, are you still my friend?” 

“Fine, whatever you say just stop crying and being so stupid." 

“Yay!”

*
It’s been like a week since the party and discovering something rather shocking but for some reason I’m happy that I found out. I don’t kn