Eun Hae’s POV

I ran to the kitchen, hot tears pouring down my face but I didn’t care. Everyone looked up and was surprised to see me crying but I ignored them and pushed the back door opened. I needed time for myself.

I needed to be alone.

I need to get away from everything. I would run to the rooftop of my apartment, but I was so far from it so I have to stick to the back alley. So I ran to the stairs, crouched down and cried, my heart searing with pain. My hair covered my face and some stuck to my cheeks as fat tears rolled down to the ground, making their mark on the ground.

“Your parents threw you out of your house because they didn’t want you,” Yongguk said harshly. “They thought you were worthless, a good-for-nothing, a waste of time and money. They threw you out because they hated you. All you ever did was brought back disappointment. Your parents abandoned you.”

I cringed as I felt a sharp pain attacking my poor heart all over and over again. It hurts so badly. I wanted it to stop, but no matter how hard I willed for it to stop, it never did. If anything, the pain only grew worse.

“Umma . . . Appa . . . waeyo?” I cried.

I once had a family. I had a mother and father who loved me so much. They used to smile at me and call me their little angel. Why did that change? Why did, as I was growing up, did they start hating me, start hitting me, starting yelling at me?

Because I’m a good for nothing.

I still remembered that day my parents kicked me out. I remembered it clearly like it only happened yesterday and not a few years ago.

With each step back home after my after-school activities around evening time, I was filled with anxiety, dread and fear. What are my parents going to do to me once they see how bad my report card is? They’ll probably hit me and yell at me again. I looked down when I walked through the front door. The insides of my stomach twisted into a knot when I realized my parents were home. Did my teacher call them to tell them about my bad grades again?

“Eun Hae, is that you?” my father said from the living room. His voice was filled with anger. “Come in here.”

Oh, no.

Hanging my head low, I walked toward the living room where I was not surprised to find the disappointment in my parents’ faces.

“Umma, Appa, I – I can explain,” I stuttered, standing at the doorway. Maybe if I stay here, I’ll have time to turn and run if Appa comes to hit me.

“Come and sit down,” Umma ordered.

I had no choice but to shuffle my feet over to the sofa where I gingerly plonk my on the spongy-like sofa. I cringed, bracing myself for the worst. They exchanged glances and Appa nodded at Umma, indicating for her to start whatever they wanted to talk to me about.

Umma stood up and strolled to me. Fuming with rage, she slapped me. I felt dizzy and my ears were ringing but I continued to look straight, willing myself not to cry. She stepped back, her large, prominent eyes appearing to be popping out of their orbits with wrath.

“Eun Hae,” my father said tiredly, “your mother and I do not earn very much. We work very hard to earn enough money not just to pay for the house rent and the food bills, but for your education as well. Are you not happy with what we do for you that you should not care about your schoolwork?”

“I do!” I protested but immediately regretted it.

Appa’s eyes flashed with anger. “You dare talk back to your own parents after all we have done for you?” he challenged me, narrowing his eyes.

“A – Anni,” I muttered.

“We give you an education so you can study hard, go to college, get a good degree so you won’t end up living like us,” Umma said, her voice a mixture of anger, regret and sadness. “Why can’t you understand that? Why do you intend on wasting that money away? You say you do not intentionally waste our money, but why do you not try any harder? You always get back the same results for your report card. You have brains and everything is in order. Are you stupid? Maybe you are. I think there’s something wrong with your brains. I think you are retarded.”

My heart felt hollow.

No matter how many times I tell them I’m trying my best, that I don’t understand my work and my teachers are too busy to help me and I don’t have any friends, my parents think otherwise. And they cannot afford to give me tuition classes. My only source of happiness was my cousin brother, Changjo, but that wasn’t enough to protect me from my parents at home.

Maybe I am stupid. Maybe I am worthless like they say I am, that I am retarded.

Why am I still alive?

“Let’s eat,” Appa said wearily. “I mean it,” he added when my mom tried to argue. He regarded me for a second, his eyes cold and black. No longer can I see the love he once had shown me when I was still his darling angel. “Go upstairs and change before you come down for dinner.”

I hung my head low, avoiding their gaze so I wouldn’t see the disappointment in their eyes. It was all I ever see in their eyes: disappointment. I quickly changed into my normal house clothes. I wanted to take my sweet time, but if I did, it would stir up another yelling and I didn’t want that.

When I got to the kitchen, the smell of bulbogi and all those delicious food hit my nose and I instantly felt sick, like I was going to throw up. I don’t know why, but food has been a big issue for me. I’ll feel like I want to throw up whenever I smell, talk or even think about food. And that was another reason for my parents to say that I’m wasting my money whenever they catch me vomiting.

Appa looked at me sternly. “You better eat what’s on your plate,” he said. “Your mother cooked them especially for you. Do not waste food.”

Umma nodded. “Especially when so many kids out there are starving with the lack of food and yet you waste them by consuming them before throwing it up,” she said with disdain.

Nice to know you’re so supportive, I thought sarcastically.

I nodded and took a bite of my food — and nearly threw up. I forced myself to swallow; I forced to swallow it down. I ate very little, yet after a small bowl of rice, with a spoonful of meat, a spoonful and half of veggies, along with a small slice of watermelon already had me feeling full.

I pushed back my plate and my parents looked up. I could see disapproval colouring my mother’s eyes as she took notice of the huge leftover food on the table.

“You don’t like it?” Umma said.

“Anniyo, it’s not that —” I tried to explain.

“That’s it,” Appa burst out exasperatedly. “Eun Hae, I have enough. I don’t want your mother and me wasting our money on you. What’s the point, when you just waste it in the end?”

I froze. What is he saying?

Umma nodded. “I agree,” she said cruelly. “You wasted our effort, our care, our time, and our money.” She was beginning to raise her voice. “I don’t want to continue doing this if it’s a waste of time! I don’t want to take care of someone who just wastes money and not think about the things we do for her at all, especially now that we need money and we can’t afford it.” She pointed toward the door. “Get out,” she said harshly.

“What?” I gasped.

“Get out!” Appa yelled, standing up. He swiped my plate of food off the table and it broke into pieces on the floor with a loud shatter. “We don’t want you anymore! Why are you still here?! We don’t want to take care of someone who only brings back disappointment and wastes all our efforts and our precious money! Get out! We can’t afford to have you living with us.”

When I wouldn’t budge, he literally had to drag me by my shirt’s collar and shoved me out of the door, onto the front porch. Umma came back and threw my schoolbag into my face. Then Umma carelessly flung my school uniform over my head and I was covered in whiteness for awhile. I took it off and found my parents glaring at me.

With a sinking heart, I realized that they had been planning this for a really long time. I started to cry but they gave no pity at all.

Are they really abandoning me?

But they are my parents!

“From this day onwards, you are no longer our child,” Umma and Appa said before they slammed the front door in my face.

I stood there, staring at the door, not sure what to do, numbed, with tears streaming down my face.

The door opened again and Appa glowered at me. “Why the are you still here?” he shouted. “Get out! I don’t want any filthy animals standing on my front porch! Get out before I have to call the police!”

I’m an animal now?

Panicking, I turned and ran down the streets, having no clue where I should go. Should I go to Changjo’s house instead? But what if they don’t want me either? I mean, Aunty Yu Jun is Umma’s sister, after all.

So I spent the night wandering around the streets. I ended up in a park. I had no idea where it was but I remembered I was crying a lot because I was hungry, lost, confused, and I wanted the comfort of my parents.

I fell asleep on the bench, exhausted.

When I woke up the next morning, I found an ahjumma standing over me with a frown. She seemed familiar but I couldn’t remember where I had seen her before.

“Oh, Eun Hae, it really is you!” she exclaimed.

Her voice sounded familiar . . . oh! She’s Changjo’s best friend Ricky’s mom! I’ve met her couple of times when I was at Changjo’s house and Ricky was over. I met her whenever she would come to pick Ricky up after he spent the day with Changjo and I.

“Where are your parents?” she asked and I remembered the terrible thing that happened the night before. “Shouldn’t they be worried if they find out their daughter is out by herself at the park?” She looked down and saw my bags. “Are you running away, my dear?”

Seeing the compassion in her eyes reminded me of the time when Umma used to look at me like that and it made me cry again.

Startled, she hugged me. “Oh dear,” she said sympathetically. “Come on; I’ll take you to your aunt’s house. Maybe she will know what to do. Come, my darling. Do not be afraid, all right?”

She took me to my aunt’s house. Aunty Yu Jun seemed really surprised to see me but when I told her what happened, she looked furious. She settled me down on the couch as she made a few phone calls. Changjo was in school so he couldn’t be there to hug me like he usually did whenever I was upset.

The ahjumma left the moment I heard my mother’s voice through the other end of the receiver.

“I don’t want her!” Umma’s shrill voice shrieked. “You shouldn’t have taken her in! You should have just left her alone to die! I don’t want her! Don’t bring her back!” And with that, she hung up.

I began to cry and Aunty Yu Jun came over to hug me. “Shush, I’m not going to throw you out,” she reassured me. “Thank goodness you have some clothes that you left the last time you slept over,” she muttered. “We’ll just have to buy you new clothes and everything, huh? Good thing we have a spare room.”

“Will Uncle want me?” I asked timidly.

She nodded. “Of course. He loves you dearly.”

I remembered after school that day, Changjo came home and was shocked to see me but instantly comforted me when Aunty Yu Jun explained my situation to him. My uncle had the same reaction. They took me in, and continued to love me even when I wasted their money.

I grew up trying to look at the bright sight, with Changjo always being there for me. But the fact that my parents threw me out still hurt.

Suddenly I felt a pair of arms wrapped around me. Lu Han? I looked up to see Kai. Good enough. I turned and cried in his arms as that day kept replaying in my mind.

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Can you believe it? She was only twelve! D:

Well, at least Kai was there to comfort her :D