44....Fourty four

Behind The Devil's Mask

“You’re dating Kris ?” There he was , Suho . One of your first friend , the guy you trusted the most . Standing infont of you , gripping hard on your wrist .To shock of his action , you stayed silent scared of what he might do . It was a simple yes or no question , but somehow it hurt just to answer that . Not wanting your heart to bear such burden , you remained silent . While letting his grip got tighter , signaling he want an answer . Your body was screaming to make you fight back from his grip , but you couldn’t do a thing . Letting him gripping you is much more better than answering his question . Why ? because the question came from a your very own best friend . He was no best friend , he was more than that . A guy you cared , the first guy who treated you warmly since you came to Seoul. The first guy to make your heart felt warm and at peace . is he really a friend ?

Suho on the other hand , with his mixed emotions . his body was scared on hurting you , his grip on you was something he never thought of . He never wanted to do such thing , especially to you . But why ? why is he able to do this to you . Where did he get the strength to do this. Is it from the scene between you and Kris that he watched . No matter how many times he mentally slap hism self , his hand just won’t move . He couldn’t let you go . Even though your eyes was telling him that you were in pain , he couldn’t just let you go . He knew if he let you go , you would hate him . And the worst part  you would run back to Kris . If he let you go , he’ll only ending being hurt more. There was nothing he could do.  Staring at you straight , demanding an answer . He was breathing rapidly , while waiting for your answer . He only need 1 word , ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ . that’s it . And there you are , staring blankly at him . Still in shock , you froze from his sudden action .

“Are you dating him ?” He repeated his question , this time his voice wasn’t as loud as before . It was softer but still very demanding .His grip got tighter  . As you flinch from his grip your legs became weak , your knees start bending . heading your body to the ground , threatening you to fall down . It hurts , it’t definitely going to leave a mark . But the physical mark doesn’t matter , just the fact that Suho is gripping you tight hurts your whole body . The one that hurt the most , your heart .  His eyes looked angry . He is angry . More like jealous .  His heart needed an answer , even though he already knew the answer . He needed an answer straight from you . No matter what the answer is.

“O-ouw , Suho , please..it hurts”  You begged him to let you go . But instead his grip got tighter .

“You rejected me because you loved him . didn’t you ?” Your expression seems to deny it . But deep down you knew he was right . You loved Kris and you couldn’t accept Suho’s feelings because you wanted Kris’s feelings . And this is what you feared the most , you never wanted to hurt Suho . he meant al lot to you . he’s your friend , you cared about him .

“if you loved him why did you let me kiss you ? “ He asked , his tone for once became scary . This is the first time he talked like this . Although he knew you had feelings for another guy , but he just couldn’t accept it . Especially knowing it’d his bestfriend you’re in love with . His heart never ached so much like this , it took over him . He helped you , cared about you , he did everything Kris never did to you . He looked at you with his warm eyes while Kris only glared at you with his cold eyes. He gave you everything kris never gave you , but you fell in love with Kris instead . From all guys , why Kris . Why must it be his bestfriend .

You couldn’t deny his words got to you . Your eyes widen as you froze by his words . You stared emptily at no where , processing those words . Telling yourself with lies . He’s right , if you loved Kris , why did you let him kiss you . Even if you didn’t kiss him back , you still let him kiss you . You leet him kiss your lips , you didn’t fight back . You accepted his kiss , it’s like you accepted his love . Even if you said no .  No matter how many times you said you didn’t love Suho , you still let him kissed you . The kiss you wanted is from Kris , not Suho . But why did you let him . It’s not just one simple peck , it’s a kiss . A kiss people did if they love each other .

You realized it may be impossible . But nothing is impossible . Your heart races as you finally realized . Your eyes widen , still looking away from Suho . Is it possible that you liked Suho when you loved Kris . Is possible for you to like 2 peoples at once . But why didn’t your heart race when you’re with Suho . Why nothing happened when you’re with Suho . But why did you let him kiss you . So many questions got in your head it made you hard to think clearly . Your mind is saying no denying everything when your heart is saying different . Could it be you actually liked Suho but you just couldn’t tell . were you falling for Suho . It hurts when Suho asked about your relationship with Kris . You became confused , your head was spinning .  Confused on how to react .

Just then , Suho let go of his grip . His warm eyes were no longer there , he was glaring at you . Slowly you regained your strength and turn your head , searching for his eyes . His eyes looked scary , filled with jealousy . That moment you felt scared . The Suho you knew was no longer around , replaced by a Suho who was filled with hatred and jealousy . You were scared but you couldn’t take your eyes off him . Hoping your warm gaze would changed his mind .

But it didn’t work , instead he pick up his feet and turned around . He clenched his fist even tighter as you sighed . He didn’t look back and walk away , further from you . You were on the floor watching him silently . Your mouth opened a few times but no words escaped , you remained silent thinking through everything . It hit you , a feeling lingering through your body . To your heart and mind . Guilt . You couldn’t do anything but watching him silently walking away hurt so much . he is your friend , and now you lost him . You lost a friend . Or is he really just a friend .

Suho walked away , in silent while his anger was boiling up inside him . He didn’t got an answer and it made him even angrier . He is angry .

But why is he angry . is it because you’re dating Kris . Is it because it’s his bestfriend , you’re in love with . Is it because he let you fall for his bestfriend . is it because he was to sure that you will fall for him . So many questions floating in his mind , and none of them are being answered . He couldn’t answer them , his mind wasn’t in the right place . His heart ached , his mind is going crazy . Nothing is working out for him .

He stomped his way through the empty hall , thinking about your expression when he grip on you . that scared expression , an expression he never wanted to see . the worst part , you were scared because of him . And that made everything worse . He loved you , he really does . But now he is sure , you will hate him for what he did . And nothing could change that . he hated him self for doing that to you . he hated himself for being in love with his bestfriend’s girlfriend .

He hated him self for being weak .

Suho was nothing like Kris . Kris had everything , all the girls adored him , a bright future , friends , caring parents , good looking . He used to hate Kris for that , but as he got to know Kris. That hatred disappeared . He accepted kris just like Kris accepted him . he got closer to Kris , hoping one day he could become something like Kris . But everything changed when you came , thanks to you Suho started accepting who and what he is . He was sure that you liked him from who he is not from what he was trying to be . He was sure he could make you fall in love to the guy Suho was . But it all went the opposite way , and now Suho changed . Not for the good . He hated Kris again . He found a reason to hate Kris again.

He hated Kris because Kris had you .

And this had brought back the old Suho , the arrogant , stubborn , self-centered Suho . If he wanted something , he must have it . That was the old him , he changed because of Kris . because Kris accepted him . Now , everything changed . Suho used to be anything but good . he may have an angelic features , but inside m deep down inside he could be more evil than Kris . And how could Suho be more evil ? Well Suho has one hell of a personality . Especially if it’s about what he wanted , like said , he must have what he want . because if he couldn’t.

He would rather see what he wanted be destroyed than not having it .

If he can’t have it, that no one can .

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hi...... sorry for not updating in a few days . i hurt my hand while boxing , sooooo........ my fingers are bandaged and it's hard to type or write....so i could not update .

sorry again because i'm giving you a crappy and short update ;;__________;; i'm such a bad author ;;_____;;

and....tomorrow. i don't think i'll update .....i'm going to see mblaq's concert...lolololol

again sorry . i'm really sorry...but i promise when i update i'll give a double update or maybe triple XD anyway sorry again.

subscribe + comments = love & updates .... :)

 

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MrsInfinitelySimple
someone plz knock me on the head cuz i got 190 subscribers XD too happy rite naoooooo

Comments

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deborah13_13
#1
Chapter 60: Update plisssss.... I sometimes get kinda irritated with Kris's attitude sometimes,hope he'll open up soon i mean like completely with jieun.... And please do continue
tehsweety #2
Chapter 60: Hello new reader here.
Im kinder sorry pity to jihyun coz she's been thru hell in her life.
Yet...the one she's thought & treat was her friend trying to break her heart.
Should suho know that by doing so not just hurt her but hurt a lot of people too.
I really hate knowing that suho is helping the es to get kris.

Anyway...update soon.
jannat #3
Jjang!! Keep updating;)
jellybean28 #4
Chapter 59: update pls.......
sehunderwear
#5
I would read this but is this abandoned?
Kris_Paulene #6
Chapter 59: I really love this story. I hope you update soon
aegyo_bom
#7
Chapter 59: hope u update!
Lulugrg98 #8
Chapter 59: New Reader >.<
This story is awesome. I hope that they won't break up.
And Merry Christmas to you authornim~