You woke up as soon as the alarm clock rang and felt someone groaning and tossing and turning next to you, covering his head with the pillow. *Zico...?*, you thought still sleepy. *Yongguk...*, you corrected yourself as you remembered the previous night. *I'm going to Paris today...* You got up and went straight to the shower, leaving him still half asleep on the bed. When you got out, he was already cooking breakfast.

'Good morning, honey', he said as soon as he saw you, with a huskier voice than usual.

'Good morning', you greeted him back. 'Go have a shower while I finish cooking this'

'I've already bought the plane tickets, so we don't have to worry about anything', he told you as he dragged his feet to the bathroom.

'Have you spoken with your manager already?', you asked him raising your voice so he could hear you.

'Not yet! It's too early to call him now!'

'Sure...', you mumbled as you took the eggs off the stove. You knew he wouldn't call his manager until you were in the boarding room.

Getting ready to go took longer than you'd expected, but you arrived just in time to take the flight. You were such in a rush you hadn't had the time to assimilate you had to take a plane, and started to panic the time you sat down and fastened your seatbelt. Yongguk knew you were afraid to fly, so he held your hand and didn't let you go until you were calm and relaxed. You really didn't want him to touch you, but you were so terrified you held his hand tightly.

You finally arrived to the Charles de Gaulle airport after what seemed an eternity. You got off the plane with your legs numb from being seated for so long, and found out it was already getting dark in Paris. You took the first taxi you saw and headed to the hotel where Yongguk had booked a room. When you arrived there you were surprised to see it was a suite.

'Oh my God, this is huge!', you exclaimed. 'It's bigger than my apartment!', you said as you explored the room.

'And bigger than mine...', Yongguk seemed confused. 'I wanted to book a nice room, but I might not have understood well the person whom I talked to...'

'Don't worry about that', you told him and whispered to yourself, 'It's just perfect'

Yongguk kissed you lips and said, 'I'm glad you like it.'

You stepped back uncomfortable because of his kiss and said, 'I'm so tired... Would you mind if I have a bath?'

'Can I join you?', he asked in return, with a playful smile.

'No...!', you answered as you pushed him gently. 'I need some time to relax and clean myself' *And clean up my mind before speaking to you...*

'Alright...' Yongguk answered, even though he didn't seem to agree with you at all.

'I'll be back soon', you promised as you went inside the bathroom.

You filled up the bath and sighed as you got inside. *I'm so scared... Will I be able to make it...?* You took the gel and poured some in your hands. *I have to do it now. If I don't, I won't be able to... Never* As you relaxed in the bath, past memories came back to your mind. You couldn't stop your mind from reliving all those moments that shaped your personality and that broke you heart into a million pieces.

You started picturing in your head Yongguk's past jealousy, the way he put pressure on you and how bad you felt. You came back to reality when the water was already cold and you felt you couldn't do it. Then your phone buzzed. You had received a text message:

I believe in you. You can do it. Keep going.
-Zico

You smiled. His text had arrived just in the right time to give you strength. 'Thank you...' you whispered turning your phone off. You didn't want to be interrupted once you'd started talking to Yongguk.

You came out of the bathroom dressed in a simple and comfortable nightdress and walked directly towards Yongguk. He has lying on the bed with his shirt off, and as soon as he saw you he turned the TV off and sat on the bed, looking at you.

'you, you are so beautiful...'

He held your hand and dragged you gently to the bed, next to him. You let him kiss tenderly your neck but you just stayed there expresionless, without moving an inch.

There you were in Paris, in a hotel room with the man that broke your heart and hurt you the most in your life. You'd been running away from everything, not allowing yourself to fall in love because of him, and when you thought you'd overcome his memory, he came back to your life. But you weren't afraid anymore. *I just don't feel anything now.*

You turned around and moved gently Yongguk's hands away from you. 'Yongguk, I want to talk to you'.

He made himself comfortable and nodded.

'Yes, I wanted to talk to you too'

You wondered what he'd want to tell you, but didn't care about that at that moment.

'I suppose you're wondering... Why I suddenly disappeared last year... Why I left you... Well, I'm going to tell you why. I'm going to tell you how being with you was like for me. I'm to tell you how I lived and saw everything, so please, listen carefully until I finish'

He nodded with a serious expression and you started to speak.

'As you already know, the X-PRO work team I was in had been working for a big record company in the States and when our contract expired, we accepted an offer from your record company, TS Entertainment. There, we were told to work on some of the trainees skills, because you were going to debut soon. Those trainees were you, the B.A.P members. Each of us were assigned one of the trainees so we could focus more on your development, and I was assigned the trainee who was going to become the leader of the band: you. Bang Yong Guk. I wasn't very happy with the decision at first because I thought you'd be mean and stuck up, but you turned out to be a lovely and sweet boy that worked hard everyday to become a better artist. Your charms and your charisma were... irresistible, and it wasn't long before I fell hopelessly in love with you. It had been long since I broke up with my previous boyfriend, and I was so charmed by you I decided to take the initiative and ask you out. I was terrified by the idea that you could refuse, but you accepted, confessing you were also captivated by me. I couldn't believe I was so lucky to have such a wonderful man who cared about me by my side, and I spent the happiest months of my life with you. Our love was so strong I thought nothing and no one could ever tear us apart. But one day things started to change...'

You paused for a moment and took a deep breath. Yongguk was looking at you, listening carefully.

'You had always been a very caring boy and had the habit of always making sure I returned home safely. Eventually that habit became an obsession, and it developed to the point that you were constantly calling me to know where I was, who I was with and what I was doing. I tried to make you understand you were being paranoid, but that only made things worse. You didn't seem to understand why I didn't want you to make sure I was safe and started to think I was seeing someone else. The more I told you you were wrong the worse your jealousy got, and it reached the point of you punching Jaemin, one of my co-workers, just because we were having lunch together. The situation got out of my control and I was forced to not seeing my friends anymore, because I was afraid you may hurt them. One Friday night I finished working really late, so I called you to ask you where you were and if I could go with you, since I didn't talk with my friends anymore. You didn't answer the phone, so I called one of your friends and went to the club he told me you were in. Once I entered and spotted the table you were in I wasn't able to keep walking. Among the people that were there I saw you kissing a girl. Before my mind could think of anything my feet took me out of there and ran to the closest underground station. As I rode home my mind spun so fast I thought I'd faint. You were so possessive and overprotective because you were being unfaithful all that time? You thought I was just like you, but you didn't want me to cheat on you? Why would I do that? I loved you so much I had given up on my own life and freedom to be with you. Why did you do that to me? I thought all the pain I felt inside would make me go crazy, so once I arrived home I packed up my things and headed to the airport. I had to get out of there no matter what. All my life was falling to pieces before my eyes and I just couldn't stand watching everything disappear. I took the first flight to L.A. after throwing my cell phone in a trash bin at the airport so you couldn't get in touch with me even if you called me a hundred times. I didn't hear of you again and I was soon sent to Japan to work there before I was ready to return to Korea. I couldn't have imagined I'd meet you again. Truth is I didn't want to see you ever again.'

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If you want to know or read again what happened between Yongguk, you and Jaemin, you can read again chapter 12

Keep reading for part 2

♥♥♥