Chapter 55

Don't Deserve You

 

Jennie anxiously stood outside of Jisoo's hospital room as Changmin and a few other doctors were running tests over her. 

Her gut feeling had been right.

Just as she had began to dial Jisoo's number, Changmin had already beat her to it and told her to come to the hospital.

As quickly as she could, Chaeyoung had immediately drove herself and Jennie to the hospital as they were informing everyone else of Jisoo's condition.

Now here she stood, outside of her wife's hospital room, not knowing if whether this would be the last time she would ever see her. 

Jennie held back a sob as she felt a comforting hand on her shoulder. 

Turning back, she was met with Soojoo's face.

Soojoo: She'll be okay.

Jennie turns back towards the door to Jisoo's room before letting out a sigh.

Jennie: I really hope so.

Just then, the door opens, revealing Changmin as he made his way towards them. Jennie looks towards him with a hopeful expression as she waited for him to speak.

Changmin: She's stable now. 

His answer allowed everyone to release sighs of relief they didn't know they were holding.

Changmin: I need you all to come with me inside. This is something that must be discussed between us all and Jisoo.

Jennie shares a worried look with Soojoo before slowly leading the way into Jisoo's private room.

At the presence of Jisoo's family and friends, the other doctors decided to leave the room in order to give them their privacy.

Jisoo turns her head towards the door and her lips curve into a small smile as she soon as she had laid her eyes on Jennie.

Jennie returns her the same smile and made her way towards the older girl. 

Jisoo looked weak and fragile as she once again laid under the white sheets of the hospital bed. It pained Jennie to see her wife like this.

She grabs Jisoo hand before taking a seat next to her.

Jennie: Hey Chu. 

Jisoo had trouble speaking under the mask that covered her face. Before reaching to remove it, Jennie looked towards Changmin for his approval, in which he nodded in reply.

As soon as the mask was off her face, Jisoo felt herself relax a bit more.

Jisoo: Hey guys. 

Everyone within the room gave her a smile of their own after seeing that she was okay. Changmin clears his throat awkwardly as he tries to gather everyone's attention. It seemed to have worked because every pair of eyes in the room had immediately drifted towards him. 

Changmin: Jisoo, I'm sure that at this point that you understand as much as I do...

Everyone inside the room was confused as to what Changmin was hinting at. Jisoo on the other hand seemed to have understood the older boy's words. Releasing a sigh of defeat, she nodded her head in agreement before deciding to explain to everyone what was going on.

Jisoo: I'm going to do the surgery. 

Her statement causes the entire room to go silent as they stared at her in shock as well as just a sliver of hope. Jennie of course was the first one to speak. 

Jennie: You mean... you're not gonna push it back anymore?

Jisoo shook her head as Changmin stepped in to explain everything in detail.

Changmin: It's gotten too serious and dangerous for us to push it back any further. If anything else happens, there's a chance that it might mess with certain functions of her brain. 

Suho nodded in agreement understanding exactly what Changmin's concerns are.

Suho: Hyung is right. We can't prolong this any further. Today's episode was quite enough to prove it. We shouldn't even have agreed to your terms in the first place Sooya. This operation will be even more difficult than we could ever imagine. 

Chaeyoung glances at her friend worriedly as she instinctively takes a hold of Lisa's hand for comfort.

Chaeyoung: So when exactly can unnie do the surgery oppa?

Soojoo takes a seat on the opposite side of Jennie as she reaches for Jisoo's other hand.

Soojoo: Are there any other complications that may happen that we don't know about?

Changmin sighs and shrugged his shoulder at Chaeyoung's and Soojoo's questions.

Changmin: The sooner the better I'd say. And for the complications, anything can happen at this point. I've only performed this surgery a few times before, I can't possibly know it well enough to determine what might happen.

Jennie glances back at Jisoo as she gives her hand a squeeze of comfort. 

Chaeyoung: Unnie will be okay right?

Changmin and Suho share a glance before replying to the younger girl's question.

Changmin: There's no possible way for us to determine that Chaeyoung-ah. 

Chaeyoung immediately broke free from Lisa's hand as she started to pace around the room frustratedly.

Chaeyoung: How could you guys not know? You're... you're doctors! This is what you do. It's your job! You're supposed to know these things. 

Lisa walks over as she embraced Chaeyoung into her arms as she tries to calm her down. 

Lisa: Changmin and Suho oppa may be doctors, but they can't possibly know everything Chaeyoung-ah. We can't blame them for this. You need to calm down so that we can attack this problem in a more clear-headed manner.

Jisoo turns over towards Jennie after realizing how quiet she had been.

The younger girl had tears streaming down her face in which Jisoo raised her hand to wipe them away.

Jisoo: It's gonna be okay Jennie-ah.

Jennie shook her head as more tears flowed from her eyes.

Jennie: No it isn't. Nothing is okay Jisoo. Everything is f-falling apart...

Jisoo glances up at everyone and gives them a pleading look.

Jisoo: Can you guys please give us a minute?

Changmin nodded.

Changmin: Of course Jisoo.

A few moments later Changmin had led everyone out leaving Jisoo and Jennie in the room. 

Jisoo scoots over a bit in her bed and gestures for Jennie to come on.

Jisoo: Come lay on the bed with me Jendeuk-ah.

Jennie glances up at Jisoo unsurely before slowly getting up to lie down next to the older girl. She snuggles into Jisoo's arms as she clutches onto her hospital gown. She was afraid that if she were to let go, Jisoo would disappear.

Jennie chokes back a sob and sinks further into Jisoo's comforting arms.

Jennie: I don't want to lose you Jisoo. Just the thought of living in a world without you makes my heart feel like it's being shredded into a million pieces. I never want to live in a world without you in it. 

Jisoo places a kiss on Jennie's head as her hand rubbed comforting circles around Jennie's back.

Jisoo: I know you're scared Jendeuk-ah... I'm scared too. I don't want bear the thought of leaving you. To know that I'll be leaving you behind... But there's no telling what might happen in that surgery. We have to be prepared for every possibility. 

Jennie: Promise me you'll be okay then. You always keep your promises Jisoo. Promise me you'll come back to me. 

Jisoo releases a heartbroken sigh as she blinked back tears from her eyes.

Jisoo: You know I can't promise you that Jennie. 

Jennie shook her head adamantly as more tears poured from her eyes and wetted Jisoo's shirt. 

Jennie: I don't care. I need you to promise me. I need something to hold onto Jisoo. I can't... I can't let you go without having anything to hold on to.

Jisoo kisses Jennie's head once more as she lifts the younger girl's head up to face hers.

Jisoo: Then I promise you... that I will keep fighting my way back to you. I'll fight my way through hell and back in order to get back to you Jennie-ah. And I'll be damned if I ever break that promise towards you.

Jennie looked into Jisoo's eyes and thought about the possibility of losing her wife forever. It frightened her more than anything in the world and there was absolutely nothing that she could do about it. 

She allowed her eyes to drift away from Jisoo's as she tries to capture every single detail of the older girl's face. 

From the way that Jisoo's eyes sparkled with love and light every time she looks at Jennie, to the slight little bump on her nose bridge that makes her nose look so imperfectly perfect. 

Jisoo's rosy cheeks were now a bit paler, but her skin was still as smooth and beautiful as a porcelain doll. 

Her eyes finally drifted towards her most favorite feature of Jisoo's face. The latter's perfectly heart shaped lips were slightly parted, reminding Jennie of how much she loved the way they tasted against her own. 

Without another thought, she leans up and closed the gap between her and Jisoo, giving the older girl everything that she had in the kiss. 

The two girls were both breathing heavily as they pulled away moments after. The kiss contained everything that they had felt in that moment. Love, pain, sorrow, and hope. 

Jennie: I love you Kim Jisoo. I love you more than all of the stars in the entire universe. I'll never let you slip away from me ever again. And I will follow you wherever you go. Don't you ever forget that.

Jisoo: And I love you Jennie Kim. More than you could ever imagine. 

 

•••

 

Jennie has just pulled into her driveway when her phone started ringing.

She had decided to stay with Jisoo at the hospital that night despite the older girl's protest. 

The older girl wanted Jennie to go home and rest in which the she refused to do so. In the end, Jisoo gave up and agreed to having Jennie stay with her with the exception that the latter would have to go home and get some rest first.

So now here she was parked in her driveway and finally realizing how truly exhausted she was. 

Smiling to herself, she thought about how Jisoo always seem to know Jennie better than she knew herself. 

Glancing back down at her phone, she checked the caller ID to see that it was from an unknown number. 

Confused, she got out of the car before answering the phone.

Jennie: Hello?

The other line was silent. 

Jennie: Hello? May I ask who this is?

The lack of response bothered Jennie. Suddenly the feeling of uneasiness returns to her. Pulling the phone away from her ear, she glances at the call ID again before holding it back towards her ear.

Jennie: If this is a prank, I—

Unknown: Hello.

The sudden response startled her. However, Jennie quickly regained her composure.

Jennie: Who is this?

Unknown: Is this Miss Jennie Kim?

There was something about that voice that sounded so familiar to Jennie's ears. She just couldn't pinpoint who it belonged to.

Jennie: I'm Jennie Kim. Who is this?

The person on the other line chuckles in what seems to be an amused tone.

Unknown: You'll find out soon enough.

Jennie: Wha—

Before Jennie could finish, a towel was clasped around her face. The action shocked her as she grasped blindly behind her towards the attacker. 

A sweet, pungent smell suddenly creeped its way up her nose and overwhelmed all of her senses. 

'Chlorophyl'

In a panicked state, Jennie dropped the phone from her hand as she struggled to remove the towel away from her face.

Despite her using all her strength to fend off her attacker, they were too strong for her. 

Jennie was starting to feel the effects of the chlorophyll now. Her struggling weakened as her body started to feel tired and drowsy. 

It was difficult for her to keep her eyes open. With one last futile attempt to fight off her attacker, Jennie clawed at their hands. 

It was only seconds later when Jennie could no longer fight off the drug. 

She felt her body grow limp before her eyes shut, welcoming her to the darkness.

 

•••

 

Chaeyoung was settled on the couch in Lisa's arms as the two of them were watching a movie.

She suddenly picks up the remote and pauses the movie and turns over to face the younger girl. Lisa gazes at her girlfriend worriedly as she searches her face for an explanation. 

Lisa: Is something wrong Chaeyoung-ah?

Chaeyoung lets out a sigh as she thought back to the day's events.

Chaeyoung: I'm just worried about Jisoo unnie. 

Lisa furrows her eyebrows together as she begins to understand where Chaeyoung's concern was coming from. 

Lisa: I know how you feel Chaeng. But we can't do anything about it. All we can do is hope for the best.

The tears that Chaeyoung has been holding in since they had returned from the hospital had finally started to roll down her cheeks. 

Chaeyoung: I know that there's nothing we can do about it... but why does it have to be that way? Why does it have to be Jisoo unnie? She's never done anything towards anyone. Why does she always have to be the one who suffers?

Lisa leans in closer as she wipes away the tears from her girlfriend's cheeks. 

Lisa: Listen to me Chaeyoung-ah. I don't know why it always has be to Jisoo unnie, okay? But do you know what I do know?

Chaeyoung looks towards Lisa as she waited for Lisa to finish speaking. 

Lisa: I know that despite everything that has happened to Jisoo unnie, she always manages to pull through every obstacle that had been thrown at her. She's escaped from death so many times. She's a fighter. Throughout every scenario, she has always found a way to return to us. This time will be no different.  

Chaeyoung still shook her head unsurely as doubt continued to cloud her mind.

Chaeyoung: But what if that's just it? Unnie has escaped death so many times... what if this time, her luck finally runs out. What if this is God's way of telling us that we're losing her for good? Unnie has been close to death so many times, and she has returned back to us so many times. What if this is it Lisa? What if God is finally deciding to take back his most beautiful flower to heaven? 

Lisa's heart broke at the sight of Chaeyoung looking so lost and hopeless. 

Despite everything that has happened to them in the past, the latter had always managed to keep her hope and faith in God. 

It was always the thing that kept her going. 

But now even that is gone. What was Lisa supposed to do when even Chaeyoung's hope had disappeared?

Lisa pulls the older girl into her arms and held her tightly against her chest. 

Lisa: Sometimes... God decides to not pick those flowers Chaeyoung-ah. Do you know why?

Lisa took the older girl's silence as a cue for her to continue.

Lisa: Sometimes the most beautiful flowers are fine just where they are. Our world is a garden, and if God decides to take back all of his beautiful flowers, then there will be nothing left of this garden but ugly weeds. A garden needs it's beauty. And because of that, Jisoo unnie has to stay. She has returned to us so many times because God wants her to. She'll be okay.

Chaeyoung: I wish I could believe that Lisa. 

Lisa: Then believe in it Chaeyoung-ah. You have to believe. You can't lose hope. Because once you lose hope, there's nothing left.

Chaeyoung remains silent, but Lisa knew she had gotten through to her. 

She smiles to herself before falling asleep with the thought that she had given back some hope to Chaeyoung. Even if it was just a tiny sliver of hope, it was enough.

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
Cruuushx3 #1
Chapter 10: Two words: NO CHICKEN
Jensoo4everlove #2
Chapter 62: I read his at wattpad first and now rereading here hehe ❤ One of my most favorite ff of all time !!!
Craazy_hippo
#3
Chapter 62: just realized...Memories by Maroon5 i a somewhat classical but fitting song for the last chapter. i just realized i had only commented on the middle section of this story. I have to say that overall, even though this is not a new concept, it was still entertaining to read and surely brought me lots of pleasure. the ending was pretty bittersweet and the overall story was nicely written. thank you again for bringing us this story.
Craazy_hippo
#4
Chapter 62: IMHO, this was probably one of the stories that didn't have much of a thick plot, but it was still a good "skim&scan" story to me. Thx author!
9thblink
#5
Chapter 11: What the? Here I thought there was more to it. Nah Jisoo don't deserve this. Jennie's reasons are selfish and testy.
yenaszone
#6
Chapter 62: back here again on my new account, this story is sooo good!
Himejam #7
Chapter 62: This was so good. I started reading it two years ago but took a break from aff for a long while and it was such a delightful surprise to see that this is now finished. Thank you for the story!
anightangel #8
Chapter 62: No!!! I’m so sad and happy too. No epilogue?? Gawd this was a wonderful story
123456__ #9
Chapter 62: What The Heck Author... U can't end it here ... Seriously after 61 chapters u are ending like this I really appreciate u for giving us such an amazing story But plsssss....add atleast one more chapter and show some more interaction between JENSOO ..... Plsssss it's a little request from a Blink and your fan......Plssss
Loril95 #10
What a wonderful story ! I haven't been reading such awesome story for a while . Thank you author for written this up . Please keep up with your writing . Fighting !