Chapter 37

Don't Deserve You

 

When Soojoo had arrived, she was immediately engulfed with a solemn atmosphere.

 

Looking around, she sees everyone in an exhausted and worried state. Walking towards Suho, she nudges his arm, startling him.

 

Suho: Jooya, what are you doing here?

 

Soojoo: Chaeyoung called me.

 

The older shoots her an apologized look.

 

Suho: Sorry, with everything going on, I forgot to contact you.

 

Soojoo shakes her head, refusing to blame her older cousin.

 

Soojoo: It's fine oppa, I understand.... How is she?

 

Suho glances at his watch before releasing a tired sigh. 

 

Suho: She's been in there for 3 hours and 15 minutes.

 

Soojoo closes her eyes for a bit before glancing at Chaeyoung's huddled form on one of the waiting chairs.

 

Soojoo: Jisoo is going to be okay... right?

 

Suho: I... I don't Jooya. I actually don't know.

 

Soojoo gives a resigned nod before making her way over towards where Chaeyoung sat.

 

Soojoo: Chaeyoung-ah...

 

The younger girl glances up before letting out a surprised gasp.

 

Chaeyoung: Unnie, you're here!

 

At the sound of Chaeyoung's voice, Lisa and Jennie looks up from their huddled positions. Jennie's face scrunches up in confusion at the sight of Soojoo's presence.

 

Soojoo knelt down in front of Chaeyoung and places her hand on the younger's shoulder.

 

Soojoo: How did this happen Chaeng-ah? Why was Jisoo chasing after Jennie? What happened with the car?

 

Chaeyoung shook her head.

 

Chaeyoung: Lisa said that Jennie saw pictures of Jisoo unnie with some girl in a hotel yesterday and accused her of cheating. As Jisoo unnie was chasing after her, they both got hit by the car.

 

Soojoo turns around towards Jennie's direction to see the latter staring at her. She turns back and gives Chaeyoung's shoulder a comforting squeeze before deciding to walk over to Jennie.

 

Soojoo: Jennie-shi, everything is not the way that you think it is.

 

Jennie: ...You don't have to say anything Soojoo-shi... what's done is done...

 

Soojoo hesitated for a bit before deciding to to speak.

 

Soojoo: It's true that Jisoo and I were both at the hotel yesterday. But it really wasn't what those pictures portrayed it to be.

 

Jennie shook her head regretfully.

 

Jennie: She... she tried to explain it to me... but I didn't even bother listening to her.

 

Soojoo: What you need to know, is that Jisoo and I both received a text from each other, telling us to meet at the hotel. But when we got there, we realized that there was a mistake. And when we tried to leave, the lock on the door malfunctioned...

 

Jennie begins to break down as she covers her face with her hands. Lisa moves forward to comfort her best friend, but was ignored by the older girl.

 

Jennie: I don't deserve your sympathy Lisa. I don't deserve anything or anybody...

 

Soojoo gazes bewilderedly at  the younger girl, unsure if she had said something that had offended her.

 

Soojoo: Are you okay Jennie?

 

Jennie glances back up before shaking her head.

 

Jennie: It... It was all my fault... if I hadn't accused her of cheating on me...th-then she wouldn't have ch-chased after me and got in.. a-an accident... Everything was my fault...

 

Soojoo takes in a deep breath before kneeling in front of the younger girl.

 

Soojoo: Listen to me Jennie. I don't know if you'll believe me or not, but I'm just gonna tell you the truth. Jisoo is, and has always been in love with you. It's true that I've been pursuing for her affections... but the person she has always loved, is you. No one can replace you in her heart. So believe me, nothing had happened between us that night. 

 

Jennie shook her head as tears continue to pour down her face.

 

Jennie: I-I should've known sooner. I'm such a horrible person... h-how could I have not noticed anything? I.... I don't d-deserve her...

 

Soojoo: Hey... shhh, don't ever think like that. From what I have seen throughout the years of knowing Jisoo, is that she always makes the right decision. And if she chose to love you, then I know for a certain that she didn't make a mistake. You do deserve her Jennie Kim. You deserve her just as much as she deserves you.

 

Jennie continues to cry as Soojoo pulls the younger girl into her arms. 

 

Glancing up and Lisa, she gives the younger girl a nod of reassurance, and gestures for her to head over to comfort Chaeyoung.

 

Lisa nodded and walks over towards her girlfriend. Soojoo catches sight of Suho as he gives her a sad smile. 

 

Soojoo knew what he was thinking, but she ignored it for a later conversation.

 

•••

 

Suho was standing outside on the rooftop of the hospital. He takes a sip of his coffee in order to clear out his thoughts.

 

He couldn't bare to stand outside the operation room without doing anything. It's almost been 4 hours since Jisoo has been in there, 4 suffocating hours.

 

Taking in a deep breath, he was about to take another sip when the door behind him opens. Suho's face lightens up a bit upon seeing Soojoo.

 

The younger girl approaches him as he shifts his attention back towards the city.

 

Soojoo: Hey Oppa.

 

Suho: What are you doing up here cuz? You should be down there with Chaeyoung. 

 

Soojoo: I wanted to check up on you.

 

Suho shakes his head.

 

Suho: It's you who needs to be comforted Soojoo-ah, not me.

 

Soojoo closes her eyes as she feigns ignorance of the older boy's words.

 

Soojoo: I don't know you're talking about Oppa.

 

Suho: You know exactly what I'm talking about Jooya. I've given up on Jisoo a long time ago. I've tried, Chaeyoung has tried... but she'll always be in love with Jennie.

 

Soojoo releases a sigh as she leans her arms against the the wall.

 

Soojoo: I know Oppa. 

 

Suho gives his cousin a sympathetic gaze.

 

Suho: Get over Jisoo, Soojoo. I don't want to see you hurting anymore... 

 

Soojoo: I'm trying Oppa... but... how can you ever get over a woman like Kim Jisoo? 

 

Suho kept his gaze fixated on the city lights as his eyes glazed over.

 

Suho: I don't know Jooya. I guess you just have to let time mend everything. 

 

The younger girl stayed silent as she shifted her gaze towards the city as well. After a moment, Suho had spoken up, disrupting the once quiet atmosphere.

 

Suho: ...I saw the way you were taking care of Jennie in there, despite knowing that she has the heart of the woman you love. You amaze me in so many ways Soojoo. One day, you will find the person who will love you, the person who will heal all of your wounds, the one who will make you smile.

 

Suho's words manages to bring a small grin onto Soojoo's face. She turns over and gives him a hopeful smile.

 

Soojoo: You think I'll be able to find someone else?

 

Suho nodded as he returns the younger girl a reassuring smile.

 

Suho: I know it.

 

The two went back to staring at the city lights, before Soojoo spoke up once again.

 

Soojoo: I'm scared oppa...

 

Suho turns over to look at the younger girl, his gaze soft and gentle.

 

Suho: Jisoo will be fine. 

 

Soojoo: You know that a promise like that can't be kept Oppa.

 

Suho silently gazed at the younger girl for a moment, as he studied the expression on her face.

 

Suho: You can cry in front of me you know.

 

Soojoo blinks back the tears that formed beneath her eyelids as she faked a laugh.

 

Soojoo: I don't know what your talking about Oppa.

 

Suho heaves out a sigh.

 

Suho: It's okay to let down your walls Soojoo. I know you were trying to be strong for Chaeyoung. And you've always tried to be strong for Jisoo. I know how you feel, but you can't keep all of your emotions bottled up like this. Jisoo wouldn't want you to.

 

A tear managed to escape from Soojoo's eye but she immediately wiped it away.

 

Soojoo: Crying makes a person weak... And I don't think I can afford to be weak right now Oppa... not when Jisoo is lying in that operation room with her life on the line.

 

Suho: Crying doesn't make you weak Soojoo-ah... People cry not because they're too weak, but it's because they've been strong for too long. You're a strong girl Jooya, it's okay to cry because it shows how strong you've been all this time.

 

Soojoo releases a soft chuckle as more tears fell from her eyes.

 

Soojoo: You stole that quote from Changmin oppa.

 

Suho: It's a good quote.

 

Soojoo looks down at her hands as she tries to steady her shaking voice.

 

Soojoo: What if something goes wrong? What if... what if she dies?

 

Suho: Jisoo isn't gonna die. 

 

Soojoo: How can you be so sure?

 

Suho: Because she's stronger than that. She won't leave because Jisoo isn't the type of person who wants to have others suffer because of her. It's also because I trust the doctor inside that operation room with her. I trust Changmin. He won't let her die. 

 

Soojoo closes her eyes for a bit before looking up towards Suho.

 

Soojoo: I don't want to lose her...

 

Suho gazes at the younger girl solemnly before extending his arms out.

 

Suho: Come here Jooya.

 

Soojoo hesitates for a second before allowing herself to break down into Suho's arms.

 

•••

 

The two cousins return about 10 minutes later. It was then that Changmin makes his way exhaustedly out of the operation room.

 

Everyone rushes over towards the older boy with hopeful looks.

 

Changmin closes his eyes as he shook his head.

 

Changmin: We tried our best, but her injuries were too severe... She lost a lot of blood due to the internal bleeding, some of her major organs were damaged, and adding on to that, she had received a head injury... For now, she's stuck in a coma until her body is ready to fully recover... she's still in critical condition, so we'll have to monitor her for the next 24 hours... If her vitals improve, then there's hope... but if she doesn't...

 

Changmin decides to stop talking, sensing that everyone had already guessed what his next words will be. 

 

He takes a look at everyone around before taking in a deep breath.

 

Changmin: Jisoo will be needing your encouragements. Although she's in a comatose state, she can still hear you. Tell her what you've always wanted to tell her, and help her recover. Because in the next 24 hours, it's all up to Jisoo on whether she wants to continue living... or to let go...

 

And with his final words, Changmin left the group to get some fresh air. 

 

It pains him to know that he couldn't do anything else to help Jisoo. He became a doctor in order to save lives, but yet he can't even do anything to help his best friend. 

 

The person whom he considers to be his little sister.

 

Closing his eyes, he takes in a breath and continues walking.

 

Meanwhile, everyone else returned to their original positions as they each tried to process the new information. 

 

Jennie sat in her wheelchair, still in shock due to what she had just heard. 'Jisoo could die.'

 

She glances towards the doors to the operation room, wishing with every molecule in her body that this was just a nightmare. She would wake up the next morning and find Jisoo sleeping soundly by her side. 

 

Or maybe a prank, this could be a prank that Jisoo was pulling to get back at her for tormenting her all these years. But the longer that Jennie continued to stare, the more real everything started to feel. 

 

The reality of everything caused her to feel numb all over. She didn't know what to say, what to think, or even what to do.

 

'What was she supposed to do?'

 

'Jisoo was in there because of her... Because of her... Because of her...'

 

•••

 

Jennie sat inside the dreary hospital room. Both of her hands were grasping onto Jisoo's as the older was attached to numerous machines and wires. 

 

Seeing her wife in this state pains her heart more than anything she's ever experienced. The pain of finding out Jisoo had cheated on her feels like nothing compared to the pain Jennie was feeling now. 

 

This was a new kind of pain, a pain that Jennie never wanted to experience. She glances at Jisoo's peaceful face as she lay unconscious on the hospital bed. The older girl seems as if she was sleeping. But the machines and wires that surrounded her told a whole different story. 

 

Jennie raises Jisoo's hand towards as she gives it a gentle kiss.

 

Jennie: Chichu, it's me, Jennie. Your Jendeukie. I missing having you around Jisoo-yah, I miss your smile, your kisses, your hugs... I miss everything about you.... I know, about everything... about what had happened 4 years ago, I know the truth. I'm so sorry for everything I have done and said towards you Chu. That's why I need you to wake up, to yell at me, to scold me, and make me repay you for everything I've done towards you...

 

Jennie waited, anticipating for any sign that indicated that the older girl had heard her. Nothing.

 

Jennie: I know you can hear me Jisoo. You're not gonna leave me... right? Because... I don't think I can survive without you by my side... I need you so much... everyone needs you. You can't give up Jisoo-yah. Not after everything we've been through, not after I've found out the truth about everything. I still have to make it up to you, I have to make up everything I've owed you over the past 4 years...

 

Tears were now pouring down Jennie's cheeks. However she ignores it as she continues to sprinkle kisses on Jisoo's hand.

 

Jennie: Remember when you said that you would wait for me? You said that you would wait for me no matter how long it would take... you said you would wait forever... But I'm telling you now that you don't have to wait anymore Jisoo. I'm here, and I'll always be here. I'm waiting for you to wake up. 

 

Jennie closes her eyes as another tear manages to escape from under her eyelid.

 

Jennie: I'll wait right here, right by your bedside. So you have to promise me you'll wake up soon, okay?

 

•••

 

Chaeyoung stood beside Jisoo's bedside as she held on tightly to Lisa's hand. The two girls have been inside the room for awhile now, however neither girl have yet to say anything.

 

Suddenly, Chaeyoung moves forward as she places her hand on top of Jisoo's.

 

Chaeyoung: Come back unnie... You can fight this... You've held on for 4 years for Jennie, now do it again for that same reason... Hold on for Jennie. Hold on for me, for Lisa, for Soojoo unnie, for Changmin and Suho oppa... hold on for all of us unnie. We're all cheering you on.

 

Lisa steps up besides her girlfriend and places an arm around the latter's shoulder. 

 

Lisa: We need you unnie... don't let go... Jennie unnie needs you... she needs her wife back, and we all need our best friend back... Don't give up.

 

Chaeyoung felt the tears prick at her eyes before falling down a few seconds later like waterfalls.

 

Chaeyoung: I love you unnie... please wake up...

 

•••

 

The last ones to enter the room, were Soojoo and Suho. The two slowly let themselves in before quietly taking a seat besides Jisoo.

 

Soojoo takes a hold of Jisoo's hand, and notices how cold it was. She raises her hands towards before blowing some air into it to warm it up. Cupping Jisoo's hand once more, she tries to warm the older girl up. 

 

Soojoo: You were the first person I've ever loved Jisoo. I know that you don't and won't ever feel the same way... but I still want you to know that. I'll still love you no matter what. So you have to come back, okay? Because I still haven't let go of you yet... you have to stay by side until I'm ready to move on... You can't let go. 

 

With her last piece of encouragement, Soojoo stands up and leaves the room before the tears could have the chance to fall from her eyes.

 

Suho gazes after his cousin before turning back towards Jisoo. 

 

He sits quietly still for a moment before taking in a deep breath and started speaking.

 

Suho: Do you remember the first time we had met Sooya? I think that I had fallen for you at first sight when you had first set foot into my office that day. I had started admiring you, right from the start. I loved the way you laugh, to the way your eyes sparkled whenever you found something amusing... You were always filled with light and joy... 

 

Suho releases sigh as he looks down towards his lap.

 

Suho: I remember how determined you were to fight through your illness in order to be with Jennie. I had loved that about you, your determination and how you were never willing to give up... I don't think I've ever told you any of this before huh...? 

 

Suho releases a soft chuckle as he glances back up towards the younger girl's face.

 

Suho: It's funny to think that both Soojoo and I had fallen for the same woman. Not to mention Chaeyoung as well. But honestly, I had never once questioned why I had fallen for you Jisoo. You were always kind, beautiful, carefree, and optimistic... even after your parents' death, you had ended up getting back up in the end. You never gave up easily... and you definitely can't give up now. You still owe me, Soojoo, and Chaeyoung for breaking our hearts... And you still have to live for Jennie. She needs you Jisoo, more than any of us do. 

 

Suho shuts his eyes as he allows a single tear to fall from his eyelid and onto Jisoo's hand. Raising it towards his lips, he places a gentle kiss on the latter's hand. 

 

Suho: Come back to us Jisoo.

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Cruuushx3 #1
Chapter 10: Two words: NO CHICKEN
Jensoo4everlove #2
Chapter 62: I read his at wattpad first and now rereading here hehe ❤ One of my most favorite ff of all time !!!
Craazy_hippo
#3
Chapter 62: just realized...Memories by Maroon5 i a somewhat classical but fitting song for the last chapter. i just realized i had only commented on the middle section of this story. I have to say that overall, even though this is not a new concept, it was still entertaining to read and surely brought me lots of pleasure. the ending was pretty bittersweet and the overall story was nicely written. thank you again for bringing us this story.
Craazy_hippo
#4
Chapter 62: IMHO, this was probably one of the stories that didn't have much of a thick plot, but it was still a good "skim&scan" story to me. Thx author!
9thblink
#5
Chapter 11: What the? Here I thought there was more to it. Nah Jisoo don't deserve this. Jennie's reasons are selfish and testy.
yenaszone
#6
Chapter 62: back here again on my new account, this story is sooo good!
Himejam #7
Chapter 62: This was so good. I started reading it two years ago but took a break from aff for a long while and it was such a delightful surprise to see that this is now finished. Thank you for the story!
anightangel #8
Chapter 62: No!!! I’m so sad and happy too. No epilogue?? Gawd this was a wonderful story
123456__ #9
Chapter 62: What The Heck Author... U can't end it here ... Seriously after 61 chapters u are ending like this I really appreciate u for giving us such an amazing story But plsssss....add atleast one more chapter and show some more interaction between JENSOO ..... Plsssss it's a little request from a Blink and your fan......Plssss
Loril95 #10
What a wonderful story ! I haven't been reading such awesome story for a while . Thank you author for written this up . Please keep up with your writing . Fighting !