After finding out that Blackpink won't be attending MBC Gayo Daejun 🙄, I decided to make another update, and hope it'll somewhat cheer everyone up. 💕Happy holidays guys! 🎄🎁 Let's continue to love and support our girls! 🤩 I love y'all! xoxo 💋 🥰

•••

The following morning, Changmin came by to check up on Jisoo. As he walked out of the room, everyone held their breath as they anticipated his answer.

The older male gives the group a small smile as he nodded reassuringly.

Changmin: She's stable.

Everyone else broke into relieved smiles at the news. Jennie and Chaeyoung both started crying out of happiness while Soojoo tried to contain her tears from falling down.

Changmin: There's something that you guys should know though. 

Everyone stopped amidst their celebrating and remained silent, waiting for Changmin's next words.

Changmin: Although Jisoo is stable, she's still stuck inside a coma. I'm not sure myself when or whether she would ever wake up. Some people could take a few days, while others could take years...

Suddenly, the solemn atmosphere had returned to how it was before.

Changmin: The only thing we could do to help her wake up, is by talking to her and encourage her. 

Suho: Can we see her now Hyung?

Changmin shook his head.

Changmin: We still need to run a few check ups on her before we move her to her room. I suggest you guys all head home and come back tomorrow morning.

Changmin releases a sigh glancing at the group before reentering Jisoo's room.

Suho wrapped his arms around Soojoo's shoulder as a sign of comfort before gently kissing the side of her head.

Suho: Come on Soojoo, I'll take you home.

The younger girl nodded and allowed the older boy to lead her away.

Lisa nudges Chaeyoung's arm before grabbing ahold of Jennie's wheelchair. 

Lisa: Come on guys. We should get some rest as well.

As Lisa began to push Jennie away, the older girl decides to stop her.

Jennie: I... I want to stay a bit longer.

Lisa glances at Chaeyoung and gestures for her to head to the car first. The older girl nodded before walking off.

Lisa kneels down towards Jennie and gazed into the older girl's eyes. 

Lisa: You heard him Unnie. We can't stay here. 

Jennie: Just for a bit. I just want to be by her side for a bit longer. 

Lisa hesitated a bit before nodding in resignation. She walks over towards a chair and sat down as she patiently waited for Jennie.

•••

It was 2:00 am by the time Jennie got home. As she entered the eerily quiet house, she glances around, hoping that Jisoo would magically pop out somewhere.

After waiting for a few minutes, she decided to head up towards her room. Her injuries weren't that severe compared to Jisoo's. 

The older girl had used her entire body to protect Jennie's during the crash, causing the younger to feel even more guilty towards her.

All Jennie had received were a few gashes on her legs and arms, along with a minor concussion. 

It was nothing compared to the injuries that Jisoo had received in her stead. Jennie's hand hovers over her door handle as she glances behind her towards Jisoo's room.

Ever since their marriage, she had never once set foot into the older girl's bedroom. Turning herself around, Jennie slowly made her way over towards Jisoo's room.

Slowly, she opens the door, and lets herself inside.

Jennie noticed was how much the room smelled like Jisoo. Everything in the room was so simplistic, just like how Jisoo wants it to be.

As she walks around, Jennie had spotted the weird light that she had gotten Jisoo for Christmas one year.

She chuckles a little at the memory. 

The older girl had wanted it, but she had told her that it was weird and useless. In the end, she had still bought it for her anyway.

Jennie made her way over to Jisoo's desk and sat down on the chair. She notices right away, the photographs of her lined across the older girl's desk. 

There was a certain photo that had caught her eye. It was a photograph of her and Jisoo from when they had went to Jeju Island. She reminisces on the memories they had both shared on the island.

Smiling at the sight of the picture, she leans over to pick it up.

However, her elbow slightly nudges the mouse to Jisoo's computer, which had turned it on. Jennie glances at it and moves over to turn it off. 

Before she could click the shutdown button, she notices a folder that was left open.

Jennie wiggles the mouse a bit before moving it over to click on the folder. To Jennie's surprise, the folder contained a bunch of dated documents that appeared to be set up in a journal like format.

Curiously, Jennie clicks on one of the journals and looks over it.

Day 1470 without Jennie,

Jennie pauses after reading the first line As she tries to make sense of what it meant. Glancing back at the screen, she hesitates for a bit before continuing to read the rest of the document.

Today has been a pretty average day, despite the fact that I'm suddenly missing Jennie more than usual. I took a drive around the city, and had visited all of our favorite places. I wonder how she's doing today... Has she eaten? Did she get enough sleep? Does she still hate me? 

It's been 4 years since she's left, 4 years since my parents passed away. Chaeyoung wants me to hold on, but I don't how much longer I can hold on for. 

This heart of mine is like a ticking bomb, I can die at any moment and time. I don't mind dying anymore though, I know it's bound  to happen sooner or later. It's been 4 years, and yet there's still been no heart. 

I just wish that I could've at least seen Jennie one last time. If my wish were to come true, I'd be able to leave this world with no regrets. 

The thought of leaving behind Chaeyoung, Suho Oppa, and Changmin Oppa pains me, I just hope that they'll be able to move on and lead happy lives. For Soojoo, I hope that she'll be able to forgive me. 

Sometimes I wonder if whether I should tell Jennie the truth about what had happened four years ago... but I know that this is for the best.

This way, it'll be easier for her to move on when I'm gone... that is, if I still have a place in her heart.

The thought of it pains me, but at least this way, she'll be happy. 

By the end of the journal entry, Jennie had tears running down her face.

Kim Jisoo, the woman who had done everything for her. Despite everything that Jennie has done, she still hasn't blamed her. 

Even when she thought she was gonna die, Jisoo still had Jennie on her mind.

Wiping her tears, Jennie scrolls up and clicks onto another journal.

Day 743 without Jennie,

Today had been a pretty bittersweet day. I had given away the heart that Suho Oppa had found me.

I knew that it was the right thing to do. The little girl had needed it more than I did, so it makes me happy that I'm able to do something for her.

Besides, without Jennie in my life, it would always feel empty, as if I'm missing a piece of myself.

I had sent someone over to New Zealand to find out about Jennie about a week ago, and he's finally returned. He told me that she's doing well, and that she seems to be happy.

That bit of news had been enough to brighten up my day. I know that this is it for me. Without a heart, I could die. No longer can I see Jennie one last time. No longer can I see her beautiful face as she gives me her adorable gummy smile. No longer can I hold her in my arms and tell her how much I love her. 

Wow, am I actually crying right now? I just miss her so much. If only I could see her one last time.

Jennie dried her eyes again before clicking on an earlier dated document.

Day 376 without Jennie,

Today is the anniversary of my parents's death. I can't believe it's been a whole year since they've passed away. It's also been a year now since I've last seen Jennie. My beautiful girlfriend Jennie... I guess it's time that I stop calling her my girlfriend...

It's a good thing that I'm not writing this on a pierce of paper, or it would've been stained with tears by now. 

I came to the hospital for a checkup today, and Suho Oppa had told me that my condition is worsening. I told him that I was fine, but inside... I'm kind of scared.

Am I really ready to die? I have to see Jennie one last time. I need to tell her how much I love her. Sometimes I think about everything I had went through throughout my life. Why did it happen to me?

But I know that in the end there can never be a valid answer. I've learned to accept my fate... I'm trying to make the most of the time that I have left.

I still miss Jennie, I'll always miss her... I miss her so much it hurts. But as long as she's happy, I'll be happy as well.

Jennie shuts off the screen, refusing to read anymore. She couldn't take it, the pain and guilt were at gnawing at her heart as she thought about Jisoo's journals.

An entry for everyday that Jennie had been gone. 

How on earth did Jennie get so lucky to have someone like Jisoo who loved her. Despite everything that had happened between them, Jisoo still loves her.

Jennie shook her head to erase her thoughts. She moves to open up the journals again when she noticed the time. 

'4:12 am'

Jennie glances back at the screen before deciding to continue reading the journals tomorrow. She at least needed to get some sleep in order to be able to take care of Jisoo tomorrow.

Heaving out a sigh, Jennie rubs her eyes tiredly before turning off the computer.

•••

It's been 9 days, 9 days since Jisoo's been in a coma. 

9 whole days, and yet the older girl doesn't seem to be showing any signs of waking up.

It was a quiet night Seoul. Jennie once again sat in Jisoo's room reading over the latter's journals. Throughout the 9 days, she had almost finished reading all of Jisoo's entries, a total of 1486 journals.

Each one had seemed to add on to the immense feeling of love and guilt that Jennie had for the older.

Each emotion was battling against the other inside Jennie's heart. 

She knew that Jisoo loves her, but she also knew that she was the person who was the main cause of older's misery.

Jennie loves Jisoo, she knew it for a fact. But would Jisoo be better off without her? The older girl had Chaeyoung, Suho, Changmin, and even Soojoo in her life.

Jennie knew that Jisoo would sacrifice everything for her, and she didn't want that.

What if by being with Jisoo, Jennie was only hurting her more. 

Jennie closes her eyes as she tries to contain the tears from falling down her face. A few moments later, her eyes open as she moves to click on the last journal entry.

Day 1486 without Jennie,

I saw Jennie for the first time in 4 years today, and god, she was still as beautiful as ever. But despite the joy that I felt after seeing her again... all I could see in her eyes when she had looked at me was pure hatred... A fire of rage that was burning behind her eyes.

It was the same look that she had given me 4 years ago, when she had thrown the rings at me. The couple rings that were still both tucked safely beneath my bed, along with the ring that I had planned to propose to her with.

The ring that I had kept hidden for 2 months after finding out about my illness. I had planned on proposing to her on the day of anniversary, but of course the universe had never been on my side. Suho oppa had called me that day, and told me about my condition. I knew then that I couldn't propose to Jennie, not when there was a possibility that I could die. 

I've always dreamed of the day that I would be able to propose to her. It would be on Jeju Island, the place where we had first confessed our feelings to each other. 

I would take her to the beach for dinner, there'd be musicians all around playing her favorite songs... I'd release the lanterns, and as she's mesmerized by the beauty of it all, I would kneel down on one knee and present to her the one of a kind, 93k Cartier diamond ring...

Thinking about it now, I guess it'll never happen. It's all a dream now, a fantasy that will never come true. 

Maybe when I die, I'd have it sent to her. That way, she'll always have a piece of my heart with her.

Jennie released a shaky breath as she glanced behind her at Jisoo's bed.

She got up from her chair and hesitantly made her way over to search for the box. A few seconds later, her hand had came out from under the bed while clutching the intricately designed chest.

Slowly, Jennie opens the lid of the chest. Inside the wooden receptacle, sat a velvet ring box that contained the beautifully, crafted diamond ring. Jennie releases an awestruck gasp as she gazes admiringly at the ring, not being able to believe that Jisoo had bought it for her.

A tear had slipped from her eye as she thought about Jisoo. Glancing back inside the chest, Jennie notices the couple rings that she had made for her and the older girl. She couldn't believe that after all of these years, Jisoo had still kept them.

At the corner of her eye, Jennie spotted the last item that remained within the chest. 

She picks up the folded sheet of paper and carefully opens it up to view its contents.

Dear Jennie, 

If you are finally able to receive this letter and the contents inside this chest, then it would mean that I am no longer present in this world. Inside this chest, lays the couple rings that you had thrown at me 4 years ago, along with a one of a kind Cartier diamond engagement ring that I had had designed especially for you.

I've always envisioned of one day being able to propose to you with this ring... but I guess it's impossible now. I wish the best for you Jennie-ah. I want you to know that I have always, and will forever love you. Never in my life, have I ever loved anyone besides you. You might not believe me, but it's the truth. 

I want you to know that I am so fortunate to have met you amidst the cruelty of my tragic life. You were the only reason that I have held on for so long. You were the best thing to have ever happened to me Jennie Kim. Thank you for walking into my life, and thank you for loving me.

By giving this ring to you now, I was hoping that you would always have a piece of me with you. I wanted to let you know that you will always have my heart, even when I'm no longer here. I love you Jennie. Be happy.

Love, Jisoo