Chapter 46

Don't Deserve You

 

The next morning, Jennie woke up early and went downstairs to make Jisoo some ginger tea. 

When she was done, she carried it up towards the older girl's room. She slowly opened the door, careful not to make a noise that would wake the her wife up.

However to her surprise, Jisoo was no where to be found. Jennie glances bewilderedly around the room before deciding to head back downstairs.

Setting down the cup of Ginger tea, Jennie reaches for her phone and dialed Jisoo's number.

The older girl had picked up after a few rings.

Jisoo: Hello?

Jennie: Jisoo. You didn't tell me that you were leaving early today.

Jisoo: I was in a rush.

Jennie stayed silent for bit, sensing a lie in her wife's words.

Jennie: You never had to leave early before. Why didn't you tell me?

Jisoo releases a tired sigh from the other line.

Jisoo: I don't have to tell you everything about my life Jennie.

Jennie was startled and had been taken back by Jisoo's words.

Jennie: I was worried Jisoo. You should've told me.

Jisoo: Fine. From now on I'll tell you everything. Happy?

Jennie: Jisoo, are you okay? Why are you acting like this?

Jisoo: Is that it? I have a lot of work Jennie. I'll call you later.

And with that Jisoo and hung up the phone, leaving Jennie more confused than ever. Shaking her head, she decided to call Chaeyoung, thinking that the latter would have a clue as to why Jisoo was behaving so weirdly.

Chaeyoung: Jennie unnie?

Jennie: Oh I'm sorry. Did I wake you up Chaeng-ah?

Chaeyoung: It's alright unnie. I was about to wake up in a bit anyways.

Jennie: Oh ok.

Chaeyoung: Why did you call me?

Jennie: I was just wondering about Jisoo. Did she... did she talk to you about anything that was bothering her?

Chaeyoung: No. Is something wrong?

Jennie: It's not anything really. I might just be overreacting over nothing.

Chaeyoung: Tell me what's wrong unnie.

Jennie heaves out a sigh as she aimlessly stirred the ginger tea.

Jennie: It's just... Jisoo has been acting really weird. Like yesterday, she came home with the smell of alcohol radiating off of her. She didn't answer any of my calls, and had even left work early today. And when I had called her, she completely brushed me off.

Chaeyoung: That doesn't sound like Jisoo Unnie at all... She's been acting strangely ever since that day she got that package.

Jennie: I know. Which is why I thought that you might know something about why she's acting this way.

Chaeyoung: I'm sorry unnie. But I'm just as clueless as you are.

Jennie releases another sigh.

Jennie: It's okay Chaeyoung-ah. I'm probably just overreacting.

Chaeyoung: I can come by to check up on Jisoo Unnie at work today if it makes you feel better unnie.

Jennie: No it's fine Chaeng. I'll come by later myself.

Chaeyoung: Alright then. Is there anything else you need?

Jennie: No. Thank you Chaeyoung. I'll see you.

Chaeyoung: Bye unnie.

Jennie hung up the phone before releasing a tired sigh. She was confused. Why was Jisoo behaving this way? It was so unlike her. 

Jennie: She didn't even eat any breakfast...

Jennie stood up and decided to cook some food to bring in for Jisoo. She dialed for the older girl's number once more, but was instead met with the latter's voicemail. Jennie stares at her phone in confusion, wondering what was going on with her wife.

Thinking that she was being too paranoid, Jennie brushed off her worries, and heads into the kitchen.

 

•••

 

Jisoo was trying to focus on the documents in front of her, but no matter how hard she tried, she keeps on thinking about Jennie.

The woman whom she loved more than her own life, is the daughter of the man who had murdered her parents.

Jisoo sets down the documents as she stressfully ran her hands through her hair. 

A knock came from Jisoo's door, in which she answers for the person to come in.

To her surprise, it was Jennie herself, the last person that Jisoo wanted to see. The younger girl gave her a shy smile as she approaches her desk.

Jennie: Hey Jisoo.

Jisoo: Why are you here?

Despite her trying to contain her discomfort, Jisoo's voice had came out cold nonetheless.

Jennie was taken back by Jisoo's behavior once again. Deciding to brush it off she sets down the container of food on the table.

Jennie: I brought you breakfast. 

Without sparing Jennie a glance, Jisoo answered curtly.

Jisoo: I already ate.

Jennie: Why aren't you looking at me Jisoo?

Jisoo drifted her eyes towards Jennie, however they reflected a dull gaze, not the spark of happiness that Jennie was used to.

Jisoo: Why are you here Jennie?

Jennie: I don't get it. Why are you behaving this way Jisoo? Did I do something wrong?

Jisoo: No.

Jennie grunted in frustration.

Jennie: Then why are you acting like as if I did? You won't even eat the food I made you, and you're refusing to even look at me.

Jisoo set down her documents as she shifted her attention back towards Jennie once more.

Jisoo: I told you that I'm not hungry. Must I force the food down my throat just to make you happy? 

Jennie stares at her wife in bewilderment. She could feel herself start to get frustrated at the older girl's confusing behavior.

Jennie: What has gotten into you Jisoo?! I was just worried about you! 

Jisoo clenched her jaw to keep herself from bursting out in anger. She knew it wasn't Jennie's fault. She hated herself for hurting the younger girl. All she wanted to do in that moment was to wrap Jennie into her embrace and tell her that she was sorry. Jisoo wanted to tell Jennie that she loves her. 

But her mind knew it wasn't right. Nothing felt right to her anymore. 

Jisoo: Get out Jennie. 

Jennie blinked her eyes in exasperation, shocked that Jisoo had completely ignored her question.

Jennie: Are you being serious right now Jisoo?!

Jisoo: I said get out Jennie. I have work to do.

Jennie huffed out an outraged grunt and her heel to exit the room.

Jisoo watches at the latter slammed the door shut before closing her eyes in relief. She lets out a strained sigh as she massages her temples.

After a few moments, she opens her tired eyes to look at the documents on her desk before a surge of anger suddenly came over her.

She grabbed the stack of papers and hurled them across the room with an outraged scream.

Running a hand frustratedly through her hair, she could feel the tears pricking at her eyes. Slowly, they start to make their way down Jisoo's face, in which she made no attempt to wipe them away.

She didn't know what to do. 

Everything was just so sudden. What was she supposed to do? It pains her to keep Jennie by her side, but she knew it would pain her even more if the younger were to disappear from her life. 

Jisoo's mind and heart were at odds. Her mind knew it was wrong to love Jennie, to keep the latter by her side. But her heart couldn't bare to let her go. 

It yearned for Jennie, and every time that Jisoo hurt the younger, she could feel the familiar torch of pain eating away at her heart little by little. She just wanted to forget about everything and everyone. 

She wanted the pain to go away. 

 

•••

 

It's been a week since Jisoo's behavior had changed. Everyday, it's been the same routine for the married couple, with Jisoo leaving before Jennie woke up, and returning home to sleep in her own room. 

The two have yet to speak to each other despite Jennie's efforts. 

Every time she tries to speak to Jisoo, the latter would coldly brush her off, and say that she was tired.

After another failed attempt to talk to Jisoo that evening, Jennie made her way out towards her car and immediately drove herself home. 

She sat silently inside her car that was now parked in the driveway of the house. No matter how much she thought about it, Jennie just couldn't figure out why Jisoo was behaving so distantly. 

It was as if she had turned into a completely different person.

Jennie releases a heavy sigh as her phone started to ring. Glancing at the caller ID, she answered the call, feeling herself ease up at the sound of Hanbin's voice.

Hanbin: Hey Jennie.

Jennie: Hanbin, how have you been?

Hanbin: I'm good. Just wanted to give you a call and check in on how you're doing lately.

Jennie: Everything's fine.

Hanbin: I know that voice Jen. Tell me. What's bothering you?

Jennie: It's nothing really Hanbin-ah. I'll be fine.

Hanbin: Come on Jen. Maybe I can help.

Jennie heaves out a sigh as she gives in to the elder boy's request.

Jennie: I actually kind of need a friend to talk to right now.

Hanbin: Where are you? 

Jennie: At home. 

Hanbin: Text me the address. I'll be right over.

 

•••

 

After her phone call with Hanbin, Jennie sent him a text of her address before heading inside. 

She was watching the T.V. for awhile when the doorbell rang. Getting up from the couch, Jennie heads over towards the door and opens it for Hanbin to come in.

Jennie: Hey Hanbin.

Hanbin: It's good to see you Jen.

The two exchanged a hug before Jennie led him inside to the living room.

Jennie: Make yourself comfortable. Would you like anything to drink?

Hanbin: Maybe a cup of coffee? But I can have that later.

Jennie nodded and took a seat back on the couch. Hanbin followed suit and the two were engulfed with an awkward silence.

Hanbin clears his throat as he tries to ease the awkward atmosphere in the room.

Hanbin: So tell me. What's been bothering you?

Jennie: It's Jisoo...

Hanbin's ears perk up upon hearing that the reason behind Jennie's mood was because of Jisoo. Trying to hide his excitement, he feigns a worried expression as he scoots closer towards Jennie on the couch.

Hanbin: What's going on between you and Jisoo?

Jennie: That's the thing. I don't know what's going on. Everything was fine, great even... And then she just suddenly started acting so distant and cold towards me. I asked her if I had done something to upset her, but she brushes me off every time.

Hanbin could feel his insides warm up with excitement at Jennie's words. It means that his father's plan was working. 

Jisoo knows the truth.

Shifting his attention back towards Jennie, his heart aches a bit upon seeing her crestfallen face. 

Hanbin: It's okay Jen. I'm sure she'll come around. Maybe it's due to stress from work. 

Jennie shakes her head.

Jennie: She's never acted this way before. I've never seen her be so... aloof. It's like she's trying to distance herself from me... I want to help her with whatever she's going through... but she won't even tell me what's bothering her.

Hanbin moves forward and takes it as his cue to wrap Jennie into his arms just as she was about to break down.

Her sobs were muffled against his shoulder, but it still pained him to hear her cry nonetheless.

Hanbin: It's okay Jennie-ah. I'm here for you. I'll always be here.

Jennie: I just don't understand why she's behaving like this. Why is it that just when everything is starting to get better, she's becoming so distant?

Hanbin: Everything has its reasons Jennie. Whatever is bothering Jisoo will be revealed to you when she's ready. You can't beat at yourself for something you don't know. 

Jennie: It hurts so much Hanbin. She wouldn't even look at me in the eye when talking to me. I can't help but think that she's mad at me because I did something wrong.

Hanbin: It's not your fault Jennie-ah. Don't start blaming yourself. I'm sure things will start to get better soon.

Jennie shakes her head.

Jennie: But what if it doesn't? What if she stays like this forever Hanbin? 

Hanbin: Then she doesn't deserve you. And she's not worth it for you to waste your love on Jennie-ah. 

Jennie: Please don't say that Hanbin-ah. It's me who doesn't deserve her love. Maybe she's finally realized that she deserves someone better than me. Someone who would never hurt her like I have.

Hanbin: You, Jennie Kim, are the most amazing person I know. Jisoo would be a fool to leave you... But even if she were to do so... I'd be glad to take her place in a heartbeat. 

Jennie glances up into Hanbin's eyes to see that it was full of sincerity. However she shakes her head and stands up from the couch before wiping her tears away.

Jennie: I told you Hanbin-ah. I can't return your feelings. Even if Jisoo were to leave me... I don't think that I could ever stop loving her. 

Hanbin's face fell upon hearing Jennie's words. He stands up from his spot and tries to reach for the latter's hand. Much to his dismay, Jennie quickly takes a step back. 

Hanbin: Jennie-ah...

Jennie: I'll go make you your coffee now Hanbin-ah. Do you still like it the same way?

Sensing Jennie's discomfort at the moment, Hanbin only nodded in reply. 

Jennie: Take a seat. I'll go make it for you right now. 

Hanbin could only stare at Jennie's figure as she heads off into the kitchen. He fell back onto the couch as he thought about Jennie's words.

'Even if Jisoo were to leave me... I don't think that I could ever stop loving her.'

What is so special about Kim Jisoo that Jennie is so enamored by her? He could give Jennie everything she wanted. He would do anything for her. But why did she always chose that Jisoo over him?

Jennie's yelp of pain and the sound of something clattering onto the ground snapped Hanbin out of his thoughts. 

Standing up, he immediately rushes inside to check on Jennie. 

The younger was clutching her hand in pain, which was red due to being soaked with hot water. 

Quickly, Hanbin made his way over and led Jennie towards the sink to run it over with cold water. 

Jennie: It's fine Hanbin-ah. I'm okay.

Jennie tried to remove herself from Hanbin's grasp around her waist, however the latter refused to let her go.

Hanbin: Stay still Jennie. You clearly just burned your hand with hot water. We have to run it over with cold water to ease the agitation.

Jennie winced in pain as the older male placed her hand under the water once more. 

Hanbin: I know it hurts, but just bare with the pain for a bit more. 

Another whimper of pain escaped from her lips as the water continued to run over her skin.

However when she notices the close proximity between her to Hanbin, Jennie began to feel uncomfortable. His arm was wrapped around her waist as his hand held onto her injured one. 

Just as Jennie was about to move away, Jisoo walked into the kitchen, her face morphs into an angered and disgusted expression.

Jisoo: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING IN MY HOUSE?!

Before Jennie had anytime to react, Jisoo rushes over and immediately yanks her injured arm away from Hanbin, causing Jennie to yelp in pain.

Hanbin: Yah be careful with her! She just—

Jisoo: She's my wife! And I'm asking you what you two were doing inside my house?!

Jennie: Jisoo stop you're hurting me!

Hanbin takes a step forward as he sees the pain etched across Jennie's face due to Jisoo holding her hand so tightly.

Hanbin: Can't you see?! She burned her hand.

Jisoo suddenly felt a surge of anger rush over her at the way the elder male was looking at Jennie. Before she was able to reign in her anger, her arm flew up and cuffed Hanbin across the jaw. 

Jennie: Hanbin!

Jennie raises a hand to cover in shock as she sees Hanbin massaging his aching jaw. The latter the blood from his mouth as he returns Jisoo a smirk. 

Hanbin: Is that all you can do?

Feeling the anger surge through her once more, Jisoo was about to pounce on top of Hanbin if it weren't for Jennie who had held her back.

Jennie: Leave Hanbin! I'll be okay!

Hanbin remains glued to his spot as he continues to look straight into Jisoo's eyes, causing the latter to release a challenging snarl. 

Jennie: Now Hanbin!

Hanbin took one last glance at Jennie before deciding to take his leave. He his heel and made his way towards the door. As soon as Hanbin was out of sight, Jisoo whipped her head around towards her wife, her gaze seeming as if they could pierce through Jennie's soul.

Jisoo: I can't believe you. Letting that scumbag into my home... our home! Do have any idea what you were doing?!

Jennie: He was here because I needed someone to talk to Jisoo! Hanbin cares for me, which is why he offered to come by! And what you saw wasn't the whole story!

Jisoo: Then tell me what was the whole story Jennie! As if what I saw was't already enough! What was so important that you needed to speak to him in our household?!

Jennie: I was hurt Jisoo! I burned my hand and he was only trying to help me! The only reason he was here was because you had been ignoring me for the past few days without telling me the reason why! It hurts! It ing hurts!

The fiery burning in Jisoo's eyes seem to have suddenly diminished upon listening to Jennie's words. Her eyes soon softened upon seeing the younger girl break down in front of her. As if realizing it for the first time, Jisoo took a hold of Jennie's injured hand, and gently caresses it.

She glances into the latter's eyes before leading her over towards the couch. 

Jisoo made Jennie take a seat, before heading back into the kitchen to grab the first aid kit. 

Jisoo: Stay still, this might hurt a little. 

Jennie watches as the older girl set to work on bandaging her hand. And in that moment, Jennie saw the Jisoo that she knew, the Jisoo who has always loved and cared for her. She lifts up her other hand and moves away a strand of hair that had fallen over the older girl's face.

Jisoo glances up at Jennie as she finishes up on bandaging the younger's arm.

In that moment, Jisoo was once again reminded of how much she loves her wife. How long has it been since she has last held the younger girl in her arms and told Jennie that she loves her?

'Too long.'

It felt like an eternity.

But once again, she was reminded of her pitiful parents who had been innocently killed in that car accident 4 years ago. 

Quickly, Jisoo shuts her eyes and forces herself to turn away from looking at Jennie.

She stands up from her position before nodding towards her room.

Jisoo: I'm staying at the company today. There's some work I need to finish up. I just came home to grab my stuff.

As the older girl turns to leave, Jennie immediately reaches out to grab her hand.

Jennie: What's going on Jisoo? Please tell me why you're acting like this... Do... do I mean nothing more to you?

Jisoo brushes off the latter's questions and shook her head. 

Jisoo: I have to go Jennie. Get some rest.

And with that, Jisoo slips her hand out of Jennie's grasp and made her way upstairs. Jennie sat in her spot and stares at Jisoo's fading figure before allowing herself to break down in tears.

And that's when the realization dawned on her. 

Jisoo never answered her question.

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Cruuushx3 #1
Chapter 10: Two words: NO CHICKEN
Jensoo4everlove #2
Chapter 62: I read his at wattpad first and now rereading here hehe ❤ One of my most favorite ff of all time !!!
Craazy_hippo
#3
Chapter 62: just realized...Memories by Maroon5 i a somewhat classical but fitting song for the last chapter. i just realized i had only commented on the middle section of this story. I have to say that overall, even though this is not a new concept, it was still entertaining to read and surely brought me lots of pleasure. the ending was pretty bittersweet and the overall story was nicely written. thank you again for bringing us this story.
Craazy_hippo
#4
Chapter 62: IMHO, this was probably one of the stories that didn't have much of a thick plot, but it was still a good "skim&scan" story to me. Thx author!
9thblink
#5
Chapter 11: What the? Here I thought there was more to it. Nah Jisoo don't deserve this. Jennie's reasons are selfish and testy.
yenaszone
#6
Chapter 62: back here again on my new account, this story is sooo good!
Himejam #7
Chapter 62: This was so good. I started reading it two years ago but took a break from aff for a long while and it was such a delightful surprise to see that this is now finished. Thank you for the story!
anightangel #8
Chapter 62: No!!! I’m so sad and happy too. No epilogue?? Gawd this was a wonderful story
123456__ #9
Chapter 62: What The Heck Author... U can't end it here ... Seriously after 61 chapters u are ending like this I really appreciate u for giving us such an amazing story But plsssss....add atleast one more chapter and show some more interaction between JENSOO ..... Plsssss it's a little request from a Blink and your fan......Plssss
Loril95 #10
What a wonderful story ! I haven't been reading such awesome story for a while . Thank you author for written this up . Please keep up with your writing . Fighting !