I sat across the circular petite table. My fingers scratching slightly at the smooth charcoal black surface. Once again,  Hongbin had taken another shot of Soju. His eyes were tinged with red as he continued to down shot after shot. I had drove him mad. He was a nervous wreck, because of me. All Hongbin could do to pass the time was drown himself in Soju and guilt. I, too wished I could slip away and ease my mind, but it happened. It was too late to turn the hands of time.  I felt her skin under my palms, the oxygen depleting in her lungs, her bony hands pushing me away, her eyes pleading me to stop. She was gone, long gone. I couldn't take it anymore. The sound of Hongbin chugging and gulping the shots full of poison, I needed to say something.

"Binah, just stop! Drinking isn't going to solve what happened. Nothing is going to solve this. I lost control, Binah! I lost control!" I said in agony. This infuriated Hongbin further as he abruptly slammed his fist down onto the table. A few customers jumped at his sudden action, their eyes now drawing towards the both of us. Hongbin shook his head from side to side frantically. 

"No, Sujin...I lost control! I was the one who screwed up!" He emphasized the word I with each sentence he spat before pouring more soju in his glass. He were about to down another shot and I pulled the glass away from his lips. His face was turning red now. His lips parting slightly as he exhaled. 

"I felt so humiliated that night, Sujin. The night of the festival, right after I dropped you off, I kept thinking to myself....Why him? What does he have that Lee Hongbin doesn't ? What is so special about him ? He didn't take care of you when you were hurt, he didn't save you when your half dead body floated to the top of the tub. He could never love Lee Sujin the way I do. I was jealous. I wanted you to hurt as bad as I did. But, I never imagined it would end this way." He shook his head whilst staring down at the soju glass. He pushed it away from himself turning his nose up in disgust. 

"Binah, please, not here. Let's talk somewhere private." I advised. He shook his head again. 

"Sujin, I can't live with this guilt." He continued to panicked. That was when a familiar figure stood beside me. 

"Well. Well. Well, if it isn't the pretty girl who fell on my lap." He smirked. I looked up slowly to see the blonde-haired light-eyed boy. It was Vernon from the charity event. 

"God, I'm going to be sick!" Hongbin mumbled before covering his mouth and rushing to the restroom.

"I know your friend isn't familiar with me, but that was rude." I sighed aggravatedly. 

"What do you want Vernon?" My thoughts were clouded with flashbacks of Bora, the last thing I needed was him breathing down my neck.

"Well, that wasn't a warm welcome. Is that the way to talk to the guy who took a punch for you?" He continued to charm me and I rolled my eyes.

"You werent the first guy and probably won't be the last." I retorted taking the shot of Hongbins left over soju.

"Ouch that hurt. Listen, I was just walking by and I saw you through the window. You never texted me so, I thought maybe this was fate bringing us together. You know like Romeo & Juliet?" He continued to flirt. 

"Very unlikely. But, nice of you to stop by. To be honest, this is just very bad timing, Vernon. I don't feel myself right now." I didn't feel anything ...I was numb. 

"Maybe you just need a handsome stranger to brighten up your day. Come on, we can leave this place. I'll buy you some real food and we can get to know each other." I shut my eyes tightly whilst massaging my temples...It was like he couldn't take a hint.  

"Vernon, its great to see you and that your face is healing well. I just have a lot on my plate right now. Let's raincheck." I stood up from my seat, now adjusting the sleeve of my shirt. He nodded disappointedly. 

"Sure, I mean you have my number. You can text me, call me, video chat me, ignore me...Which ever." He rambled on.

"Okay, thanks." I replied whilst waiting for Hongbin to leave the restroom. Hongbin had finally come out and I grabbed his hand pulling him out of the place. I called a taxi over to us. 

"Where are we going?" Hongbin asked. 

"To the cabin." As we both got into the back of the taxi I could feel Vernon's eyes on us. My instincts confirmed this when I looked through the glass window only to watch him stand there watching the vehicle leave the scene.

________________________________

Once we made it to the cabin, I made Hongbin some tea and wrapped a white blanket around his body. He gazed into the distance as if he were recapping the entire event in his head repeatedly. His mouth pouting as he gripped the ends of the blanket around him. I stirred my tea slowly whilst sitting across from him, a blanket also covering my body. A slight chuckle escaped hongbins parted lips. 

"So, this is his place." He asked bittersweetly and I nodded. There was an awkward silence in the air as we both sipped our tea. 

"Sujin, I know we've both been through a lot lately, but I really need closure." His voice was in the cracking phase before tears begin to fall. I looked back at him slowly afraid to meet his gaze. Even though what he did was wrong I never wished to see this kind of pain or torture in my friend's eyes. I sighed.

"Closure for what?" I crossed my legs now preparing for the intense conversation that was to come.

​​​​He mirrored my action before looking at me again. 

Closure for us. Sujin, you may not feel a fraction of what I do. You may have felt nothing at all....But you should know, you're the first person I've ever fallen in love with. I just need to know why...Why him?" He begged for answers and I couldn't find it in myself to provide them. 

It started out as a crush and then blossomed to so much more in a short span of time. I saw the amount of pain Namjoon suffered and then I understood why I became his target. I wanted him to let me into his world and when he did I never wanted to leave. It was more than just and ecstasy. It was an unexplainable bond. A bond where we understood each others pain. Minutes had passed by without an explanation this made Hongbin ask again. 

"I dont know, Binah. I don't know." 

Hongbin sipped his tea again. 

"And what about me? The flirting, the skinship... Did you ever love me?" His voice in agony.

I thought about all of the time we shared together. It was amazing. He was the shoulder I leaned on, cried on, and the chest I laid on after our photography sessions. Without a question, Hongbin was one of the most gorgeous human beings I had ever met, but the love was nonexistent. It was just a strong like, it could never compare to what I felt for Namjoon. 

"Binah, you can have any girl in the world. You don't need me."

"Yeah, I don't. I just want you." Seconds after the sentence left his mouth Namjoon walked through the front door with the gang following behind him. Instantly, I ran over to Namjoon before embracing his tall body into mine. The tears began to fall from my eyed as I remembered everything that happened today. He held me closely to his chest before missing my forehead. I inhaled the scent of his cologne. His warm breath now brushing against my neck as he leaned down. 

​​​​​​Whats going to happen to us?" I asked and he held my cheeks in his palms. 

"Do you remember the night I got you arrested?" Namjoon asked and I nodded. How could I forget it was that event that made me want to get revenge on him. 

" Do you remember how everything erased from your phone without a trace? I have connections, Sujin. No one will ever know what happened." He kissed my forehead again. That was the momentHongbin stood up.

"So, she's really...Dead?" He asked and Namjoon nodded. All if the members of Its acted as if everything were normal. They didn't blink over her death. They all gathered around the small kitchen to fix something to eat. It was as if hiding a body was a daily routine to them. It made me wonder how many bodies they had hidden. After all, I didn't know them that well. 

Hongbin his teeth now grabbing his belongings. I instantly turned in his direction.

"Binah, where are you going ?"

"Home." He opened the door slightly before Namjoon closed it. The two were now having a stare off as they narrowed eyes at each other. 

"Hongbin, I know were not exactly friends, but if you need to crash here for the night, to just clear your head----"

"Forget it, Joon! You know, honestly I wish you never went to that dumb boarding school. It changed you...They changed you." He gestured to all of BTS.

"You dont know anything, Bin." Namjoon defended.

"I know enough to see you're not the kid I grew up with...Thanks for the offer, but I'm going home. You and your gang can get high alone. Sujin, if you were smart you'd leave too." Hongbin slammed the cabin door. Taehyung balled up his fist whilst strutting to the door as if he were going after him. Namjoon touched the boys shoulder. 

"No, don't. He doesn't understand the situation." He spoke lowly.

​​​​​​Yeah, well we wouldn't be in this mess if she wasn't your girlfriend. Now were cleaning up your mess, because you couldn't keep your feelings in check. You said no one would find out about the arrangement, but here you are drawing attention to us. What would N say?" Taehyung spat before bumping shoulders with Namjoon and leaving. The rest of them followed suit leaving me and Namjoon alone. I plopped my body back down onto the couch now drawing my knees into my chest. Namjoon sat beside me in defeat.

"Don't worry about The. He's just hurt.", Namjoon said softly whilst rubbing my thigh. 

"Hurt...Hurt because I killed his friend." I elaborated . Namjoons mouth parted slightly As if he were gathering words to say. 

"Sujin, you're not a bad person for what happened today." He breathed and I scoffed in disbelief. 

"Today made me realize something." The tears were forming in my eyes again. "You don't really know me. First the girl in juvie. Now, Bora. Maybe that doctor was right..  I need mental help." He grabbed my hand immediately.

"Don't you ever talk about youself like that. You are kind, passionate, funny, strong, and beautiful. There is nothing wrong with you. She pushed you too far. She was a bully."

"That doesnt justify my actions." 

"Youve had a long day, take a shower and get some rest." He said lowly.

"Only if youll come with me." I teased. I needed a distraction. Anything to get this murder off of my mind and I knew Namjoon would be just the thing to take those thoughts away. The lust quickly appeared in his eyes as he closed the cabin blinds before pulling my body to him roughly. Our lips tangling in a passionate kiss as we walked backwards into his bathroom. He quickly removed the shirt from my body before covering my neck in kisses and love bites. I moaned in pleasure as I could feel myself slipping away. His hands now groping my chest as he on my ear lobe. 

"Please don't stop." I begged as he rubbed my through the .

"Im just getting started." He smirked now quickly sliding the off of me. He pulled his T-shirt over his chest revealing his beautiful abs again. I rubbed my index finger against the stitched scar on his abdomen. He grabbed my wrist firmly causing me to stop before connecting his lips against mine again passionately. His tongue Now colliding with mine as his nails dug into my back. His hand gripping firmly onto my locks of hair before traveling down to squeeze my . He had now removed his boxers to reveal the throbbing and growing member. I rubbed up and down his shaft quickly still connected in our kiss as he continued rubbing my in circular motion. We both moaned into each others mouth. His opposite hand the shower faucet and he led me inside only to push the front of my body against the shower wall.

"I'll make you forget everything, baby. I'll take the pain away." He said in a velvety tone. That was when I felt him kiss, , , and slurp my . His warm muscle swirling inside of my entrance. My legs shook violently as the ecstasy consumed me. His hands pulling my cheeks apart so he could push his tongue deeper and deeper inside of me. I moaned, I huffed, I panted. He knew exactly what he was doing to me as a small chuckle left his mouth. He inserted his fingers pumping in and out whilst and my . 

Oooooh p-p-pleeeeease Namjoon." I moaned as he sped up the pace.

"Mmm, you like feeling my tongue inside your tight baby?" He asked whilst me. I felt myself oozing with pleasure as I continued to moan. 

"Ooooh yes please." I encouraged only to feel his tongue strike again as he slurped and . I furrowed my eyebrows as the intense pleasure took over. 

"F- Namjoon please." I yelped as he rammed inside of me and pinned me to the wall.

"Mmmm I like it when you beg." He groaned whilst ing inside of me. He held both of my hands behind my back as he continued to pound me. 

"Aaaah! Ohh my..Mmmm!" I moaned as our bodies clapped together. He slammed in and out of me repeatedly making me cry in pleasure. I didn't want it to stop as I continued to feel his hard member throb inside of me. 

He planted tiny kisses on my back whilst ing into me.

" Sujin, mmmmm. Tell me how ing good it feels." He moaned. 

"Aaaaah. Its so...Aaah its so good."

"Mmmm are you gonna on my ?" He continued holding my hand behind my back. Our bodies soaked from the warm water. 

"Y-y-Yesss ohhhh please Joon." 

"Yeah? Mmmm yeah. ." He hammered into me again rapidly until I reached . He came soon after pulling out and allowing his warm cream on my back.  We both panted as our high came down. Afterwards we properly showered each other and slept in his bed. It was a wonderful distraction, but what would distract me tomorrow ?