Dear Diary,      

Yesterday was a night in hell. My secret feelings about Namjoon were revealed. And Hongbin's love for me was also revealed. Namjoon kissed me and told me to never lock lips with Hongbin again.  Everything was an utter disaster. But, somehow I felt relieved. Hongbin knew the truth...A sample of the truth. I could tell it hurt him immensely and I wondered if when I left my bed this morning to go to school, would he still be that dear friend of mine, the friend he's been since the beginning? Was it possible that the moment I arrived our friendship would be in shambles or were we already doomed? Was Namjoon really worth the pain and suffering that I'd received?  I laid down onto my back with my index finger tracing the outer shape of my lips before gliding against the bottom lip. My thoughts traveling back to last night. 

"Never kiss him in front of me again."  Namjoon smashed his lips against mine before leaving me alone on the balcony.

I ran my fingers through my hair before moving to lay on my side. I grabbed my camera and began to scroll through the pictures. My fingers stopping at the first pic I ever took of Namjoon, before all of the drama, hate, passion...Before I fell hard for my own bully.  I shut my eyes while in my bottom lip thinking of when his supple lips first pressed against mine. 

My daydream was quickly broken up when my Aunt Sorin barged in without a knock. I quickly tuck the camera underneath my pillow before sitting up and forcing a smile. Because thats exactly how normal people look in their ordinary days. Way to go, Sujin. 

"Hi, sleeping beauty. I hope I didn't disturb you." She sat at the edge of my bed before handing me a glass of orange juice. 

"Auntie Sorin, I wasn't expecting you. Thanks for the orange juice!" I bowed my head slightly before taking the glass with both of my hands.

"Ne, I never come up the stairs. But, I wanted to finish the conversation we had the other night." 

I sipped my orange juice then, placed the glass on the end table next to my bed, preparing myself for the lectures my mother never gave me. 

"Sujin-ah, you're such a beautiful girl. You're smart, you're tough, and you're very clever. It's unfortunate that my sister and brother in-law don't see what I do in you. I may only be your aunt, but I see you as my child.The child I've always wanted. I'm afraid you're falling back into your old ways." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear while continuing to console me. Her eyes gestured to the deep scar on my arm from the time I tried to commit suicide. I placed the palm of my hand over the scars surface, covering as much as my hand would allow. My head now facing the balconys' sliding door.  The scar wasn't something I was proud of and now it would be a constant reminder of the hardest time of my life. Tears began to brim my eyes as I became overwhelmed with those haunting memories. 

"Why do you think I'm falling into my old ways?" My voice was a murmur at this point as I couldn't find the audacity to look her in the eye. Aunt Sorin sighed before opening slightly to speak again. Her hands were laying directly on her lap and clasped together. This is how I knew something was terribly wrong. Her fingers fidgeted slightly together as she turned her head to face the back of mine.

"Sujin-ah, your school has called about you. They said you seem withdrawn from other classmates and activities. Your grades are slipping. You come home late. You stay in your room all day. So, I need to know right now....If there is something or someone troubling you." Her voice was a shaky mess and I could tell she were on the verge of tears. I quickly turned my head and grabbed hold of her hand to give her reassurance. 

"Everything is fine. I'm fine." I lied.

"I know when you're lying to me, Sujin. Tell me what's wrong right now or I will install an alarm system on the balcony door!" She threatened. I now turned around to face her directly. Just as I thought of how she figured everything out she answered my question.

"I hear you grunting every night as you climb up the tree then, pull yourself up the balcony fence. You may have your parents fooled, but I'm very observant." She raised one eye brow, her arms now crossed against her chest. I sighed in defeat before spilling the beans. I didn't mention Namjoon's name, however I did mention the love triangle issue and she was more than glad to give me advice.

"Is a boy really worth the destruction of your future, family, and friendships?" Aunt Sorin asked brushing hair away from my face.

"Ani."

"Hongbin has been there for you since the beginning. He was your very first friend and I understand how someone else could be very enticing to you, but it doesn't mean they're good for you. It's like looking at a dessert. There's a giant cake with your favorite frosting and cake mix. It's delicious, scrumptious, crumbles in your mouth, and is sensationally sweet. However, it's filled with tons of calories and processed sugars. If you continue to eat this everyday it could lead to multiple illnesses or diseases. Then, there's a fruit salad. It's colorful, vibrant, average, kinda boring. Then when you eat it, it's sweet, natural, full of juice, refreshing, and healthy. If you continue to eat this way you'll have a healthier immune system, satisfy your sweet tooth to a certain extent, and gain more energy. Which one do you want?" She asked. I bit my lips. That was a very good comparison, but it still didn't help my difficult decision. I know if Leo were here would have another disagreement. 

Sorin pat my shoulder before standing up from my bed knowing my decision hadn't been made yet. 

"Apologize to Hongbin, but give him some space. He'll definitely need it." She half smiled now turning the knob to exit the room.

"Auntie!" I called and she grunted in response.

"Why are you so cool?" I chuckled inwardly.

"Someone, has to keep this place alive." She smiled then closed the door behind her. I sighed before plopping my whole body onto the mattress again. Class started in an hour and I wasn't ready to swallow what was on today's menu for me. Hongbin. Namjoon. Therapy. Bora. Today was the day Bora would return and I had no interest in crossing paths with that devil again. After several minutes of motivating myself, I got up from bed and began to run my bath water. Luckily, Nari wasn't hogging the bathroom this morning, because she went to a cafe with some friends. As I emerged myself into the bath water and bubbles my phone pinged notifying me of an email. I rolled my eyes assuming it was another online shopping promotion (how they love to spam my email!) however, this accusation was false when I read my therapist's name.  

Hello, everyone

 I hope you're having a very lovely morning and I hope you've had an eventful night. This email is in regards to our innovative fundraiser that we are hosting. I am positive you've seen the posters plastered around town. Today was the perfect opportunity for me to inform you that you will all be participating in this event and if you do not participate, you will have to repeat this therapy course again. The event is tonight @6pm. Now that you have been notified, please consider the kind of act you will perform tonight. You have all day to come up with an act and participate in this lively event. You're also probably asking yourself, why am I giving you a short notice? Well, consider this an exercise to heal not only the physical, but mental as well. Sometimes, spontaneous things happen in your life and you need to be prepared or come up with something on short notice even if you don't know the outcome. Consider this exercise a lesson to you all. Also, you can pair up with your assigned project buddy for less hours. I can't wait to see what you come up with. Bless you all!

Open Your Heart Foundation, Therapist Min

 I sighed, as if I didn't have enough on my plate already. However, there was no way in hell I would repeat this therapy program again. I quickly finished bathing before dressing into my uniform and blow drying my hair. My mother surprisingly packed me a lunch (her first in fifty thousand years) and my father was nowhere to be seen as usual. Which of course I thanked God for, because I didn't need another scar or bruise on my body.  As soon as I parked my vehicle and stepped out of the car I noticed the six boys together.  Namjoon still hadn't arrived or wasn't with them at least. They were standing in front of the school's entrance. Hongbin, however was nowhere in sight and I hoped he would be at my locker. Bora was also nowhere in sight and I heard girls spreading rumors that she is enrolled in a boarding school which sound like sweet karma to me. After locking my car doors, I strolled past all six boys with my journal and other books tucked between my arms, praying they wouldn't say a word. Of course, Hope took it upon himself to be the ice breaker. 

"Ah, Sujin-ah!" He called. My shoulders tensed instantly and the hairs on my body stood up as I scrunched my eyes and bit my bottom lip nervously. I turned around slowly to face him a fake smile on my face.

"Ne, how are you?" I asked.

"I'm great. I need to talk to you." He ushered me through the school's entrance then down the hallways.

"Ige mwo ya!?!" I complained trying to pull away from him. That was the moment I noticed Hongbin's face in the crowd. His brooding facial expression tugged at my heart and my mouth opened slightly, but I couldn't gather the words to say as Hope took me around the corner making the sad boy's face disappear. We came to a hault at a janitor's closet. 

"What the hell is wrong with you, dude? You're always dragging me to some abandoned or isolated area then, trying to talk to me. You know this is the type of stuff serial killers do." I began to ramble only to find his index finger pressed against my lips.

"Don't talk, just listen. I like you, Sujin."

"MWO?!?" I shrieked in utter confusion and surprise.

"Not like that. I like you as a friend. Even though we barely talk, you're very kind. You spark something in Namjoon I haven't seen since when we were kids in boarding school." His hands were now on my shoulders. 

"Where are you going with this?" 

"Namjoon is never going to explain how he feels about you so, I'm going to. He loves you. He just won't admitt it or accept it himself. That Jade girl from the festival last night he met on Tinder the same day of the event. He paid her to lie saying they talked months ago and decided now to date."

"Why would he do that?" I tried to reason.

"Because, he heard you were going with Hongbin. He thought you just used him for to see if the rumors were true. You made things worse by kissing Hongbin, what were you thinking?" Hope argued.

"I was thinking I didn't want Namjoon to think his little dirty dance with Jade affected me. Besides if he wanted to go with me he could've asked, but he didn't. And when I left his cabin that day, he never begged me to stay. He told Taehyung, I'm nothing. So I had every right to shove my tongue down Hongbin's throat." I stated my case hoping that Hoseok could see things from my perspective. He sighed before running his hand throug his silky hair.

"He didn't mean what he said to Taehyung. Things are more intricate than they appear. I wish I could tell you everything, but I have to protect them. They're my family." Hoseok was pacing now. Something wasn't right here.

"What is intricate? Listen, I already know that you're in some type of wannabe gang, and I hate to burst your little bubble, but um this is Busan. You're not in the hood. There aren't drivebys. This isn't grand theft auto. This is Korea." I remarked and he raised an eyebrow.

"Well, Busan has blood money too. You know what nevermind. Just give Namjoon his space. I've already said too much." He left without another word.

"Blood money." I repeated to myself. Was Namjoon in trouble? After that strange encounter I headed to class and made sure to pay attention and take as many notes as I possibly could. After Aunt Sorin's lecture, I wanted nothing more than to raise my grades and keep the freedom of sneaking back home late through the balcony. 

"Nice work, Sujin. It's good to see you're eager to learn again." My teacher acknowledge and I smiled whilst bowing slightly.

When lunchtime came around Hongbin was nowhere in sight so, I sat alone brainstorming ideas for the stupid event tonight. Maybe I could do spoken word poetry. Yeah, that'll work, right? So, I began to dabble in my journal a paragraph or two. That was when I felt a presence behind me. My instinct sure wasn't wrong when the blonde haired boy himself sat next to me. My mouth fell slightly agape as I faced the flawless boy. I gulped involuntarily as my eyes traced the shape of his lips followed by his adam's apple and collar bones.  He noticed my actions and smiled. His eyes turning into tiny slits and his dimples becoming prominent. Bless this view.

"It's strange to see you sitting alone. Where's your boyfriend?" His voice a velvet tone. I inhaled catching a whiff of his cologne as the wind blew in my direction. Don't get distracted. Don't get distracted.

"I should ask you the same question about Jade. What happened? Did she realize that she wasn't apart of earth and decided to go back to Smurf's ville?" I mocked and he chuckled inwardly now rubbing the back of his neck.

"Very funny except her hair is purple, not blue. Anyways, you know me Sujin. I don't like to beat around the bush. I like to get straight to the point. Right down to all of the juicy details." He annunciated the word juicy as his hand brushed against my thigh quickly.  My breathing began to increase.

"I got the email from Min. Despite our differences, we should at least be cordial with each other and come up with an act for this event tonight. So, what do you say. Come to my cabin after school?" He his lips and I nodded instead of giving a verbal agreement. It was amazing how many different personas Namjoon posssessed within. One moment he's raging with anger. Next, he's seducing you in an abandoned hallway. Then, before you know it, he's acting sophisticated and professional. Damn, he's confusing. 

I decided to text Hongbin every chance I got. Of course there was no reply, but I'd hoped to see him at the event.