Dear Diary,

An hour had passed since Leo and me found Namjoon. We found the camping sight and were surprised to see five cabins instead of a million tents scattered around the grass. Everyone was sound asleep except for BTS, Nari, Hongbin, and Coach Park. V was the first one to stand up for his hyung when he noticed his condition. 

"Namjoonah!" He ran over as Namjoon leaned on the both of us for support. His balance was terrible and I assumed something was wrong with his foot as well, which would be a huge problem with him being captain again.

"What happened to him? What did you do?" Taehyung asked dramatically now grabbing hold of his hyung and supporting his weight.

"We didn't do anything! We're lucky to have found him. He could've died out there or been killed." Leo stated before turning into my direction and saying 

"Sujin, watch them. I'm going to get Coach Park. He'll know what to do." Leo ran into a cabin searching for the elder. Taehyung and Suga managed to get Namjoon to rest his body against a fallen tree, where they all sat around him giving as much support as they could. I wiped my mouth in anxiety. I didn't understand the feeling inside of me in that very moment. I felt sympathy for Namjoon. I was genuinely worried about him, my own bully. My heart tightened at his sorrow. It made no sense and no matter how many times I tried to take control of my throbbing heart it wasn't effective. Shouldn't I be smiling at his failures and pains? Wasn't this what a person like him deserved? ...I don't know. I watched Coach Park rush out of the cabin with a giant emergency first kit. Leo trailed behind him.

"Aigoo! Don't worry stay still and calm I will get it out!" Coach Park said in a panicking voice. He took out a long roll of gauze out of his bag. He grabbed his impaled arm carefully wrapping the gauze underneath his arm to stop some bleeding then sprayed a solution on his arm.

"Listen to me, I'm going to pull it out, okay? I sprayed a numbing solution but this is still going to hurt, you have to stay still." Coach Park talked him thorugh everything. Namjoon nodded whilst shutting his eyes tightly whilst gritting his teeth, his attempt to push out the remaining tears in his eyes. The boys held him down to make sure he didn't move a limb.

"On the count of three. 1...2...3." Coach Park said calmly before pulling the twig out of his arm. I looked away quickly not wanting to see Namjoon suffer further. His cries and screams were enough. Never in my life did I think I would see him in such a fragile state. Some of the campers woke up and went outside of their cabin to witness the scene. They too were shocked to see a tough boy like Namjoon break into tears. Of course it wasn't because of the pain, but the loss of his father.  I couldn't bare to hear his cries anymore and walked off to behind a bush. That only muffled the sound slightly...Who am I kidding? It was exactly the same, but at least he wasn't in my sight anymore. Hongbin grabbed me by the arm before pulling me into his embrace.

"I'm so happy you're okay." His embrace was tight. His body warm and I found myself clinging on tighter than I thought I would. I didn't want to let go.

"Me too. Are you okay?" I said whilst looking over his shoulder. There was a space in between the bush which gave me a perfect view of Namjoon who was still in distress.

"Yeah, I mean besides your cousin trying to seduce me all night...What happened out there?" He finally released our grip and I missed the presence of his body.

"His dad died."

"What? How?" Hongbin seemed genuinely worried now too.

"I don't know...It wasn't something I wanted to ask." 

"Well, that must be disappointing. He already lost his mother when we were kids...Now, he really has no one. That's too bad." Hongbin shook his head while spacing out as if he were recalling the event. I found myself dazed as I stared at the broken boy through the space in the bush. He was like stone. He wouldn't move. He wouldn't talk. It was like there was nothing left of him.

"Yah, Sujinah! Come on, we have to get some rest. There are a lot of activities to do tomorrow." Leo called me over and I nodded.

"Good night, Binah. We'll talk in the morning." I smiled and he nodded before patting my shoulder.

"Gwenchana, Sujin. Gwenchana." He walked over to one of the cabins before entering and shutting the door behind him.

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In the morning we were awakened by the sound of a trumpet blaring outside of the cabins. I groaned taking the pillow and mashing it against my ears in attempt to block out the sound...This isn't what I signed up for.

"Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Get out of bed now! Get dressed you have ten minutes! Move! Move! Move!" Coach Park shouted through the megaphone. 

I looked beside me to see Nari dressed in 'y pajamas' and I rubbed my face. This girl is trying really hard to earn Hongbin's attention. In the far corner was Namjoon. Who sat on the wood tile floor alone. His knees drawn into his bare chest. The gauze wrap around his arm has blood seeping through. His expression was blank as he stared off into space. He didn't move a single limb and he wasn't startled by Coach Park's voice. It was as if he were physically, but not mentally there and I wondered if he slept at all last night.

We all did as told getting dressed and meeting him outside onto the camp sight. We were exhausted no doubt, but knew the whole meaning of this trip was to bond through activities. The first thing we saw were several picnic tables covered with food. There were eggs, rice, porridge, beans, and sides of fruit. Hongbin and me sat together while Nari drooled from a distance. The air got tense when all of the tables were filled and Namjoon stood looking around for a seat. He held his tray before making eye contact with me awkwardly seeing the only place left to sit was directly in front of me. He rolled his eyes before giving in knowing there was no other way to avoid the situation. He slammed his tray down in front of me receiving looks from everyone and my appetite quickly faded.

"Good morning, Joonie." Coach Park acknowledged him receiving a nod from Namjoon with no reply. Afterwards, everyone slowly regained their conversations with each other and ignored the tension between me and him. He didn't even give a thank you for Leo and I finding him. He talked to no one, not even BTS. It was very uncomfortable to see his friends call out to him only to be replied to with a nod. Was Namjoon broken? 

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"Alright, guys. You have eaten, you are full, you are happy." Coach Park began our first lesson.

"I'm not happy, I'm tired." Kai replied earning laughs from all of us.

"Well, it up! You thought you guys had hell week before, well guess again. This is your hell week. This is war. These activities will be crucial on your body alone. We will try several activities that all help with our bonding and trusting each other...Some of these activities will scare you." He continued.

"Now I'm going to pair you guys into two. When, I call your name you will dig into the jar and pull out a name that is written on one of these white papers. After, you've chosen the name you will dig into this jar and choose your mission. While you are on your mission if you get lost don't worry. You will use a walki-talki and someone will find you. Am I clear?" He asked and we all nodded while replying with groans.

"Okay, Leo go first." Coach Park held the jar and Leo dug in and I prayed it was my name on the white piece of paper. He unraveled the long paper before reading the name a smile on his face.

"Sulli." He turned to the red haired girl and she smiled clearly blushing. I rolled my eyes when she giggled and ran over to him as if he were the love of her life. The others clapped and whistled as one girl in the crowd told another 'I ship them. They look so good together.' I snapped my head in their direction where they quickly avoided eye contact.

"Choose your mission." He held up the other jar to Sulli. She dug into the jar pulling out a pink slip.

"Find the bridge of death. Omo! Is this safe?" She asked with agape.

"There are no promises, but I can ensure you won't die. Now, go! Go! Go! You have three hours to find it!" He shouted and they ran off only coming back seconds later to retrieve their forgotten walki talkis making everyone laugh.

"Alright, Namjoon, you're up!" Coach Park said and Namjoon sighed as he picked the petals off of a flower. He threw it down before moving to the front to pick a piece of paper from the jar. My hands shook involuntarily and a great fear rushed over me. Please don't pick my name. Please don't pick my name. I tapped my foot on the ground nervously whilst gnawing my bottom lip.

"Sujin." Namjoon's tone unamused as he crumbled up my name and threw it over his shoulder. My feet were cemented to the ground as my name left his lips. My body just couldn't physically move beside him and Coach Park had to call my name. 

"Yah! SUjin stop taking your time! Your mission starts now."

"Wh-What's the mission?"

"Find the Fountain of Truth."

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"What is the fountain of truth anyway? Is it a rip off of the Fountain of Youth? How in the world are we going to find that? We only have three hours. If we don't find it, we're dead and I'm already exhausted." I panicked as we walked through the woods. Namjoon stopped in his tracks before pushing his index finger against my lips.

"Ssssshhhh. If you would shut up for once. It would be easy to find it."

"Oh really, Mr. know-it-all? How would it be easy to find a fountain, in the woods?" I gestured to the surrounding of dead trees and he sighed clearly annoyed and aggravated by my presence.

"Do you know those things attatched to the side of your head? They're called ears use them to listen to the sound of falling water." He talked to me as if I were a retard and I folded my arms across my chest before scoffing.

"Why do you always have to be such an ?"

"Why is your brain so underdeveloped? Were you dropped on your head as an infant?"

"You know what? I wish I never met you! I wish I never had even laid eyes on you!" I shouted now running my hands through my hair in distress. 

"I'm glad the feeling is mutual." He mumbled before pushing dead leaves out of his path. 

"Why did you have to pick my name? This is all of your fault!"

"Are you done complaining?  Because I'm done listening...I have much more on my mind then, being stuck on this stupid mission with you." He replied in a disinterested tone. As he continued to walk beside me I studied his expression. His face was blank, however, the pain was evident in his eyes. I quickly regretted every rude statement and remark I made towards him. He was going through so much right now and I snapped on him. 

"Sorry." I uttered. 

"Don't apologize, I don't want or need your sympathy, Sujin." He rushed ahead of me clearly trying to avoid any conversations or contact with eachother. For some reason, it bothered me. I wanted him to look me into the eyes and let his emotions pour out at once. I wanted him to release his pent up frustration and pain. Maybe it was the therapist in me or maybe I just wanted to know who Kim Namjoon truly was.

"I know you didn't ask for it, but I am sorry...I don't know the relationship you and your father had---" Before I could get another word in Namjoon turned around in front of me putting his arm out.

"Stop. Just stop. Do you think I need your lectures? Did I ask for a speech? I think you're missing one big picture, Sujin. We are not friends. I will never be your friend. I don't care to talk to you and I don't care about you. This is a mission, not a bonding trip. Stop acting like you know me or what I feel because you don't and you never will...Now, let' find the stupid fountain." He scolded me with a look of disgust on his face. I nodded whilst looking down sheepishly. He was right, we'd never be friends, but why was I looking for something more from him? He's my enemy. He ruined my life, yet something inside yearned for more...

It was an hour later when we came into contact with what we believed to be the Fountain of Truth. It was a beautiful waterfall and I mentally laughed thinking about how jealous the photography club would be of the photos I were about to snap.

"We did it! We found it!" I squealed whilst bouncing up and down and he nodded with a serious expression before sitting down on the ground to view the beautiful sight. 

"We found the Fountain of Truth!" Namjoon said on the walki talki only to be replied by Coach Park seconds later.

"Awesome! Come back to claim your prize! Hurry! Hurry! Go! Go!" 

"Let's go, Namjoon."

"Nah...Go without me. I wanna be alone for a bit." He replied numbly and I nodded turning around every so often until the troubled boy faded with the trees.

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Back at the camping sight the prize were movie tickets to any new movie of our selection. There were four tickets. One for me and whoever I choose and two more for Namjoon and whatever he chose. I sat at the bench alone staring at the sky when Leo sat down next to me, sliding a plastic cup filled with juice my way. I thanked him before partaking in the delightful beverage. A moan of satisfaction escaping my lips as the flavor hit my tongue.

"This is delicious, what is it?"

"Coconut milk mixed with strawberries, raspberries, and banana...It's my mom's recipe. I thought you might like to try it." He smiled before taking another sip of his.

"Thanks. So, how was your mission with Sulli?" I asked gesturing to the red haired girl laughing with our other teammates and drinking juice. Leo smiled his cheeks turning a tint of pink.

"It was alright...She's a really funny girl. She made the mission fun...I didn't get to stick around long enough to see who you got paired with."

"Namjoon, he was my partner and well, he's still sitting there at the Fountain of Truth, probably trying to get his priorities straight. Please, do tell me is the bridge of death as bad as it sounds?"

"Namjoon? Seriously? That's bad luck...How was it?"

"We argued mostly...But the fountain was found and that's all that matters...Also, I won some movie tickets. I thought we could go see one together...You know as friends." I laughed awkwardly hoping he didn't make any assumptions. Leo paused for a second before looking over his shoulder at Sulli as she threw a football, a big smile on her face then, back to me.

"I really want to, Sujin, but I already promised Sulli. I'm sure Hongbin would love to go with you though. You should ask him." Leo rejected my offer with a worried expression. I scoffed whilst smiling.

"It's alright. Don't worry. Yeah, I'll just ask Hongbin, I'm sure he'd love that." 

"Hey, talk to you later, okay?" Leo got up from the bench before running over to Sulli and playing with her. I sighed. 

Hours had passed quickly. The sky was already black and I found myself not being able to sleep. So, like any night owl. I decided to go to the Fountain of Truth and was surprised to still see Namjoon there.

Now he really has no one. Hongbin's voice repeated in my head as I saw the troubled boy throw rocks into the waterfall. It was when I stepped on a crunchy twig that he acknowledged my presence. I in air and grit my teeth while shutting my eyes as if it would make me invisible. A slight chuckle escaped his mouth.

"Couldn't stay away, could you,Sujin?" His tone cocky as he continued to throw pebbles.