Jin didn’t respond to Mingyu’s text confession. She couldn’t bring herself to do it.

Mingyu sent her another text a bit later: don’t feel pressured to respond to me or anything, okay? Maybe I’ll see you later and we can talk… if you want.

Jin was staring at the text for the longest time. At one point, Seokmin took her phone out of her hand and stuffed it in one of his drawers, “you’re here to relax. If this guy is stressing you out, deal with him later.”

Jin nodded and apologized for being distracted.

Seokmin tried to do other things with Jin: play a card game, watch a movie, stalk Facebook profiles. But she was out of it the entire time; she couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that someone liked her.

“Okay, that’s it,” Seokmin said. “I can’t stand not being the only guy on your mind,” he joked. He took out Jin’s phone and handed it to her. “Tell him exactly what’s on your mind. Get it off your back.”

Jin took her phone. She really did feel the need to respond to him somehow. It would feel rude and mean to just leave him hanging.

“I don’t know what to say,” she told Seokmin.

“What did he say last?” Seokmin asked.

Jin showed him the messages. Seokmin read them and said, “okay, ask him where he is now.”

Jin followed his advice did that, and Mingyu immediately responded: wherever you want me to be.

When Seokmin saw that message, he cringed, “he’s so cheesy, oh my God.” He started to laugh.

“How do I respond?” Jin pressed. She felt completely helpless by herself; she was really depending on him to guide her through this, she realized.

 “Tell him you want him in a cheesiness correction facility,” Seokmin joked.

“Seokmin,” she whined, “come on, I don’t want to keep him waiting.”

“Fine, then ask him how long it would take him to be in front of this residence hall.”

“Why?” she asked.

“It’s best to have these conversations face to face.”

Jin nodded in agreement and texted him that.

Mingyu responded: ten minutes max. I’ll run over there right now.

“He’s coming,” Jin told Seokmin.

“Okay great,” Seokmin said, “problem solved.”

“What? No? What do I say to him?” Jin asked. She realized just how much she depended on him for this.

Seokmin laughed, “Jin, I can’t reject him for you. It’s up to you to do that. Just tell him exactly what you’re feeling. He’s a nice guy; he’ll understand.”

“I’ve never done this before,” Jin said nervously, “I wouldn’t know what to do.”

Seokmin looked pensive for a moment. He then he held out his hand to Jin, as if expecting her to take it. Jin took it after a moment’s hesitation, and Seokmin pulled her up on her feet.

“Okay, I’m Mingyu. You’re Jin. Let’s practice.” Seokmin straightened up his spine and comically tried to open his eyes bigger, as if he was turning into Mingyu.

“Hi Jin,” Seokmin as Mingyu said, “I came like you asked…”

“I…” Jin took a deep breath and tried to really imagine Seokmin as Mingyu. She was at a loss for words.

Seokmin took one step closer to her and took her hand, “I like you Jin. I like you a lot. Would you go out with me?”

Jin froze. Suddenly the fact that Seokmin was pretending to be Mingyu completely slipped her mind, and she took him for Seokmin. Seokmin holding her hand. Seokmin looking at her with longing. Seokmin telling her that he likes her. It was all too much for her. She froze.

“So, what do you say?” he beckoned. He didn’t break character though. He kept his composure, the yearning look in his eyes, the kind smile that Mingyu would have given her in this situation.

Jin could only shake her head, maintaining the eye contact.

“Does that mean no?” he pressed, holding her hands tighter and his face drawing slightly nearer, as if he were trying to hear her more clearly.

Jin removed her hands from Seokmin’s and took a step back. “I really can’t do this,” she told Seokmin.

“Just say ‘I’m sorry. I like someone else,’” Seokmin guided, “just say it.”

“I’m sorry,” Jin managed say robotically, “I… I like someone else.”

“Oh,” Seokmin said as fake Mingyu. “I understand. I hope we can still be friends though.”

Jin nodded, “yes, I would like that.”

Seokmin let his spine bend again, going back to being Seokmin: “see, I told you. It’s not that hard.”

Seokmin was wrong. It was very hard to say it. Her heart was still a beating mess because of the intimate moment she had just had with Seokmin. She didn’t know if it was beating because it was Seokmin or because it was simply intimacy. She wasn’t used to intimacy with guys, and everything inside her went chaotic when guys game too close to her. She recalled the kiss that Vernon had given her. She shuddered.

“You can do it, Jinnie!” Seokmin encouraged, “fighting.”

A few minutes later, Mingyu texted her saying that he’s outside. Seokmin told her he would take a shower while she was with Mingyu.

Seokmin gave her so much encouragement before she left to meet Mingyu. For a moment, she felt kind of secure. If Mingyu doesn’t initiate too much skinship, she would be okay. All she had to do was say it: ‘I’m sorry. I like someone else.’

But as soon as she saw Mingyu out there, is hands in his coat pockets, waiting for her nervously on a bench, she felt like she was anything but secure. How could she say no to someone like that?

“Jin!” Mingyu smiled when he saw her.

“Hey, Mingyu,” she greeted brightly. She took a seat on the bench beside him.

An awkward silence ensued, which Mingyu broke quickly enough, “are you visiting a friend here? This is a boys’ dorm, right?”

“Yeah. The friend that called you. Seokmin.”

“Oh, him. Are you guys close?”

Jin nodded, “yes, we are. Sorry he called you like that by the way. I scolded him about it, don’t worry.”

“No problem,” Mingyu said with a smile, “he was nice.”

Another silence ensued, which Jin could not bring herself to break although she felt obligated to. It was Mingyu who broke it, again: “I probably should have not made my confession through text. Sorry about that.”

“Actually, I’m glad you did. It gave me time to process it,” Jin said. Now was the time. Now was the time to say it: I’m sorry, I have feelings for someone else. Just one phrase…

Mingyu eyed her, prying her to say whatever it was she wanted to say. He knew that she wanted to say something; she made it obvious with the way kept opening and closing.

“It’s a no, right?” Mingyu speculated.

Jin looked at the ground.

“It’s okay,” Mingyu reassured kindly, seeing that it was hard for Jin to say it. “May I be so nosey as to just ask why not?”

“It’s because I have feelings for someone else,” she finally managed. She bowed to him, “I’m sorry.”

“But you’re not dating this person, right?”

“No,” Jin answered.

“Are you planning to?”

“No,” she replied, thinking of Seokmin.

“So give me a chance,” Mingyu tried again, much to Jin’s dismay. “I understand if my advances would not be welcome in the beginning. I understand if you can’t bring yourself to show me any affection. And I would understand if you tell me that you just can’t reciprocate any of my feelings in the long run. I just want a chance to perhaps sway you into liking me back?”

“But why?” Jin asked. That he was so persistent, and that he didn’t just accept the rejection was so surprising for her.

“Because I like you,” he answered.

“But why?” she asked again. She really didn’t understand. She was not exactly at her best in front of him, and they had only ever really talked a few times.

“If you’re asking why I like you, it’s that I just do,” he shrugged. “I can’t explain why. It’s just that I couldn’t stop thinking about you ever since I first saw you. I think you’re pretty and natural and just so real. Seeing you so vulnerable the first time when you lost your diary, I just felt this urge to protect you. And then I learned that you spoke Arabic, that you lived in Jordan, and that you’re studying theology, which made you so interesting to me; I just want to know more about you. And I saw during mid-terms that you’re studious. You’re also too nice for your own good and… I don’t know. I just find you captivating, and I just like you.”

Jin could only blink in response to that. However that explanation made her feel, all she was sure about was that its impact made it more difficult to reject him than ever before. How can anyone reject someone who says those things?

She felt like she had lost sight of the real reason she was going to reject him in the first place. It was Wonwoo: her friend, who had told her that he liked Mingyu ages before she had even met him.

He allowed you, though. Remember? He said he would prefer it if you were the one that dated him, her conscience began making up excuses. She felt like she was so close to surrendering. Every bone in her body was driving her to just nod and tell him yes, she wanted to go out with him.

Just as she was about to yield, a most unwelcome interference appeared.

“Hey Frostbite!”

No, no, no, no. This is the worst possible time for you to come. Please, please, please go away.

“What’s going on here?” Vernon asked, approaching the two of them.

“It’s you,” Mingyu said, recognizing Vernon from the night he had taken her diary.

“Oh yeah, I remember you. The night in shining armor,” Vernon said, “Mingyu, was that your name?”

Jin wanted to just disappear. Vernon always had a habit of humiliating her, and the last person she wanted to be humiliated in front of was Mingyu.

“Could you please leave us,” Mingyu politely requested.

“Is he making you uncomfortable, Frostbite?” Vernon asked Jin, as if he would be the one to save her.

Mingyu narrowed his eyes at Vernon: “please don’t involve yourself in this,” he responded, “leave her alone.”

“She’ll thank me for this later actually,” Vernon said. “So, from the little that I just happened to overhear, you’re asking Frostbite out, am I right? Well, by doing so, you’re putting her in a very uncomfortable situation. I would know. I read her diary, remember? So spare her the all the trouble and stop pursuing her. She would probably like it if you did.”

Mingyu looked irritated with Vernon’s meddling, but he did heed Vernon’s words. He looked to Jin and told her: “I think he knows more about you than I do, and the last thing I want is to make this difficult. If you tell me right now that what he’s saying is true, I promise I’ll back off for good.”

It was true. Vernon knew that Wonwoo liked Mingyu from reading her diary. And his interference was reminding her of that. This was her chance to put an end to it once and for all.

“I’m sorry, Mingyu. It’s true,” she finally managed, looking at the floor. She felt so guilty.

“Great, my work here is done. You can thank me later, Frostbite. Perhaps with a kiss on the cheek? Just an idea,” he winked at her, and then left them alone.

“I’m sorry for pushing this onto you,” Mingyu said to her when Vernon was gone.

She could not bring her self to look at him; she kept looking down on the ground.

He reached out and put his finger under her chin. He raised her face and bent down so that his face leveled with hers, “don’t worry about it, okay? I’m not hurt,” he reassured her: “I do hope we can still be friends though.”

Jin nodded. “I would like that,” she said. “I do like you very much, Mingyu.”

Mingyu smiled, “that’s good to hear. Then you’ll accompany me on a non-date to that Arab place soon? You can bring the friend you told me about that wanted to try Arab cuisine too.”

Jin nodded and smiled, “I would like that very much. My friend Wonwoo would too.”

They parted on good terms. He was so kind about it, so understanding and reassuring. She ascended back into Seokmin’s dorm. Seokmin was still showering when she arrived, and so she took that time to write in her diary about what had happened.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Diary,

I did it. The very first person who ever admitted to like me was the very first person I rejected. I’m still at Seokmin’s. He’s currently showering, and I’m here just replaying what happened in my head.

I met him outside of the building. I told him I liked someone else, but then he still requested that I give him a chance. I could not understand why he was so persistent, and so I asked him why he liked me. He proceeded to explain why, and it was so flattering. No one had ever described me in that way before: he told me I was interesting, and real and even pretty. Can you imagine? Pretty.

I almost conceded. I almost agreed to go out with him. My heart was beating so fast, and I was too moved to say no to someone so sincere. I almost betrayed Wonwoo.

But then, Vernon appeared. Having read my diary, he understood the situation: he told Mingyu that asking me out put me in a very awkward situation. Mingyu listened, and accepted the rejection. That was basically what had happened.

I can’t help but feel like I’m going to regret this. Wonwoo will find someone, and so would Mingyu, and I’ll just wonder how it would have been if I had said yes right now. I would have had a boyfriend, and a very nice one at that.

I should stop thinking about this. I stayed to true to Wonwoo– that’s all that should matter right now.

To think that I probably would not have been able to do it had Vernon not interfered. To think that Vernon had actually helped me; he gave me that push I needed to have the resolution to reject Mingyu. I don’t think he even realized that he helped me though. He didn’t intend to help me; I’m pretty sure he did it just to make fun of me about it later, just to be an .

I’m not going to thank him; I don’t want to give him that satisfaction. For once, he was useful to me, but I will not thank him for it. If it had not been for him, I would not have even been put in this situation in the first place.

A/N: I always feel so nervous about my chapters nowadays. I hope you enjoyed it...