Come over tomorrow, Seokmin texted Jin, I told Jun a friend will do a "project" with me.

I’m nervous, Jin responded. I have a feeling he’ll glare at me until I leave.

S: don’t be, really. Jun’s mysterious, but he isn’t mean. I exaggerated his meanness last time.

J: what should I wear?

S: Clothes.

J: haha.

S: seriously don’t come . i don't think he'll appreciate that.

J: does he have a style?

S: idk. tbh idk much about him. He’s quiet. Kinda like you.

J: will he like me?

S: he likes quiet, so he might.

J: are you sure he doesn’t have a girlfriend?

S: he doesn't, Jin.

J: oh gosh what should I wear.

S: clothes.

J: -.- you’re not helping.

S: just look pretty. Shouldn’t be too hard for you :P

J: is that a compliment? I can’t tell.

S: it might be.

J: now I know to never trust your compliments.

S: I think i sense self-consciousness here. I don’t like it -.-

J: when should I come over?

S: 3:00ish. We’ll pretend to do some “work” and we’ll order pizza, and I’ll do that thing where I pretend to use the bathroom so I can leave the two of you together to make out and stuff.

J: Seokmin -.-

S: seriously though. If you guys do end up together, no making out in the dorm room.

J: omg stop.

S: you’re blushing aren’t you ;)

J: shut up

S: I know there’s pink in your cheek as you imagine making out with that majestic figure that is my roommate :P

J: stoppppppp

S: seriously. No kissing in the dorm room.

J: i’m not answering you anymore. See you at 3:00.

S: I know you’re blushing :P

Jin was indeed blushing. Seokmin was really shameless when it came to talking about these kinds of things. Jin still had not even processed the idea that she was doing this in an attempt to date, and Seokmin was already going on about “making out,” something Jin had not even really considered.

Jin looked through her closet for something to wear. She needed to look better than usual. She couldn’t just put on a t-shirt and jeans like she usually did. She looked through her closet. She only really had one thing that could be considered “cute.” A dress that had little pens sewn all over it. She bought it because she felt like it represented her: she loved writing.

The dress was sleeveless, and it was cold outside. Not wanting to make the same mistake she made last time, she looked through he closet for a jacket. The sweater that Seokmin had let her keep caught her eyes. The color pattern of the dress matched that of the sweater, and so she decided to put it on.

Sena was not in the dorm to help her pick out what to wear. She was visiting some friend of hers, a friend that Jin was to shy to befriend herself. In many ways, though, Jin was glad Sena was out. She wouldn’t know how to explain why she was dressing up to Sena. It’s not like she could say: ‘yeah, I’m meeting Seokmin’s roommate as a potential boyfriend because I want to convince you that I don’t like Seokmin so you can date him.’

When it was time, Jin made her way to Seokmin’s dorm. As she walked, she ran into someone she wished she hadn’t.

“Jin!” Sena called out to her from afar. Sena ran to where Jin was. Jin felt self-conscious of what she was wearing all of the sudden. Sena would immediately recognize that something was amiss. Sena knew Jin and her usual fashion choices all too well.

“What are you all dressed up for?” Sena asked with a smirk.

Jin hesitated, “no reason, really,” she replied nervously.

“Where are you going?” Sena asked.

Jin considered lying again, but it was so hard. She hated to lie. “I’m going to hang out with Seokmin…”

Sena smiled knowingly, “I knew it!”

It was then that Jin realized that Sena thought she was dressed up to see Seokmin.

“No, no... it’s not what you think…”

“Who says I’m thinking anything?” Sena asked. “Anyways, can I come? I would hate to interrupt your date or whatever…”

“Sena, it’s not a date. He’s introducing me to his roommate…”

“Alright, whatever. Can I come though?”

“Umm, okay,” Jin replied nervously. Jin just couldn’t say no. She didn’t really consider how Sena being there could interrupt their plans.

Jin wanted to text Seokmin to tell him that Sena was coming too, but she didn’t want Sena to see that. She didn’t want Sena to think that she and Seokmin were conspiring against her. She also didn’t want Sena to feel like there’s this secret between them, although there was.

Jin considered telling Sena the truth, but she felt like that would be a betrayal to Seokmin. She didn’t know what to do, and she was running out of time to figure it out.

When they finally arrived at Seokmin’s dorm building, Jin was out of time. She would just sit and watch this play out, however it does.

Jin nervously knocked on the door. Seokmin answered. He was pleased to see Jin, but when his eyes met Sena’s, his expression transformed to one of surprise.

“Sorry for being a disappointment,” Sena told him with an amused smile on her face.

“No, not a disappointment. I just thought that you were out and weren’t coming,” Seokmin managed to say, unable to hide the uncertainty of his tone, “me and Jin were just about to do a project together.”

Sena took all the same classes as Seokmin, and so she knew there was no class project. She didn’t say anything though; she just smiled as if she knew everything, when in reality she knew nothing.

Seokmin motioned them in. Jin saw Jun sitting in his bed reading a book in Mandarin. When the came in, Jun looked away from his book and made eye contact with Jin and Sena and acknowledged them with a kind smile.

“Guys, this is my roommate, Jun. Jun, that’s the girl I was telling you about, Jin. And that’s Sena.”

“You tell Jun about Jin and not me,” Sena pointed out, still smiling as if she had figured the both of them out. She then bowed to Jun, “nice to meet you!”

Jun smiled at her and bowed back. He also bowed his head to Jin, still smiling. He really was good-looking, and beautiful. His smile was also extremely enchanting.

“Ah!” Jun said, pointing at Jin. Jin felt her heart beat. “Your shirt,” he replied, “it’s for Seokmin! His mom made it, right?”

Jin realized that things were just going really badly at that moment… the last thing Sena needed to know was that the sweater Jin was wearing was actually a gift from Seokmin, or Seokmin’s mom to be specific.

“Oh, that sweater is from Seokmin, is it?” Sena asked.

“No,” Jin lied hastily.

“I’ll order pizza,” Seokmin tried to change the subject quickly. He also seemed kind of nervous about the way things were going, that Sena was getting more and more convinced that there was something going on between Jin and him.

As Seokmin was ordering pizza, Sena looked around the dorm.

“I’m sorry you have to live with him,” Sena told Jun, “his side of the room is so messy compared to yours!”

Jun nodded in agreement, and said in broken Korean, “I tell him to clean always, but he does not listen.”

“Where are you from?” Sena asked him.

“Shenzhen, China,” Jun replied.

“Is this your first time living in Korea?”

Jun nodded, “I wanted to study here.”

“It’s my first time living in Korea too,” Sena told him.

“Are you Korean?”

“Yes, but I lived in Jordan all my life, with Jin.”

Jin wanted to insert herself into the conversation, but she couldn’t. She found herself shying away from the two of them as they talked. Jun was looking at her with such admiration as well, which made Jin feel, well, jealous. Sena so easily kicked it off with him, so easily made conversation, so easily made the foreigner feel so comfortable. He talked to her despite his broken Korean. He smiled at her. He laughed with her.

It hurt to see that the two were talking without even acknowledging her. It hurt that Sena was stealing the attraction of Jun, someone Jin had wanted to attract. Just everything about the situation hurt, and suddenly, Jin felt like crying.

Not because of Jun, no. Jin didn’t really expect that it would work out between the two of them in the first place. Jin just realized how she isn’t good enough for anything, unlike Sena. Jin realized that she was deficient in so much, and it hurt her a lot.

She didn’t want to cry in front of everyone. She didn’t want to ruin the mood, make Sena feel bad, make Jun feel bad, or make Seokmin feel bad. She just wanted to be alone, alone with her diary so she could just write away the pain she was starting to feel right then.

She walked out of the dorm room in silent tears, just as Seokmin had finished ordering the pizza. Sena and Jun were too preoccupied with their conversation to notice, but Seokmin noticed all to clearly, and subtly followed Jin out of the room.

Jin walked down the hallway crying, and Seokmin quietly followed her. She went into the empty common room and just broke down. She couldn’t handle it anymore, no matter how hard she tried to hold it in.

She sat on the floor against the wall and brought her knees to her face, audibly crying into them. Seokmin sat down beside her and put his arms around her shoulders pulling her into his chest. He didn’t ask what was wrong. He kind of guessed what it was.

After a minute of her silently crying, she said, “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?” he responded.

“I made it seem to Sena like me and you are…”

“Don’t worry about it, Jin. Seriously.”

“I need my diary,” Jin said sniffling, “I need to let this negative energy out.”

“You can let it out to me,” Seokmin offered, and Jin was too emotional to keep it in…

“It’s always Sena. Always. With Jun, with Junghan, even with Vernon. I’m always secondary to her. I’m not as pretty, or as social, or as confident, or as fashionable as her. I’m never going to be like her, ever…”

“I’m the one that should be sorry,” Seokmin told her softly, rubbing Jin’s arms comfortingly, “I’m going after her too. I don’t think I ever considered how that’s making you feel until now. I’m using your love life for my advantage, going after someone you constantly compare yourself to. I’m so sorry, Jin…”

Jin only sniffled.

“And you’re not secondary to her. Not to me. I know I’m in the long list of guys that are going after her and not you, but trust me when I say that even she can’t replace you to me. In you, I found a friend with whom I’m comfortable talking to about my late girlfriend. I can let out the douchery within me around you, and I can’t do that with Sena. I would much rather hang out with you than with Sena. Although I am attracted to Sena, that does not make her more important than you are to me.”

“Thank you,” Jin told Seokmin. Although Jin never believed people who compliment her, for some reason, it felt so sincere coming from Seokmin. She felt like he meant what he was saying, like he wasn’t just saying it to make her feel better.

“You look very pretty today,” Seokmin told her, “it’s a good think you wore clothes like I asked you to,” he added jokingly.

Jin laughed through her tears, “yes, the only reason I did not come is because you asked me not to.”

“Don’t I know it.”

“Don’t you want to go in and stop Sen and Jun from falling in love in there,” Jin asked, wiping her face and pulling away from his arms.

“Nah,” Seokmin replied with a shrug.

“She probably thinks me and you ran off to have a date or something…”

“Oh well,” Seokmin replied, “I have a friend that needs me now, and I’m not abandoning that friend even if it means destroying my chances with Sena.”

“Thank you,” Jin said, touched.

“Why are you thanking me… my friend pizza really needs me. It’ll be here any minute,” Seokmin joked, making Jin laugh again.

The pizza came, and Jin and Seokmin had it in the common room. Seokmin spent the entirety of the time trying to make Jin laugh, and it worked. Jin forgot about what happened, about how Sena had stolen the limelight again, and about all of the blows of self-consciousness she had directed at herself. Seokmin had made it so much better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Diary,

This page would have been stained with tears and filled with sad memories if not for Seokmin. Today, I had a bad experience, which turned into a good one very quickly…

You know how I was supposed to meet Jun? Well, I did, but Sena happened to tag along. And of course, Sena stole the attention, and it made me feel like crap.

It’s not because of Jun, it’s just because it suddenly dawned on me how unlovable I am, and how far from perfect I am. Unlike Sena.

I couldn’t hold in my tears, and so I left Seokmin’s dorm. He noticed and came after me. He consoled me and told me things that made me so happy. He said I was an irreplaceable friend. He said that he was comfortable around me, in a way that he can’t be around Sena. He stayed with me, even though Jun was probably falling in love with the person that he liked. I just, for once in my entire life, felt like I was just as good as Sena.

I just feel so happy to know that. He made me laugh, and made me realize that I had a valuable person in my life now.

He also said that he would stop trying to set me up with someone else for his own personal gain. He said he’ll try to find another way to get to her. That made me happy too, because honestly, I don’t want to date anyone besides him right now.

I like him so much. No you don’t understand. I really, really, really like him. It’s not just a crush. It might no even be an overstatement to say that I kind of love him. Like, I just really always want to be with him. I want him to always make me feel the way he made me feel today.

But he’s after Sena…

I suddenly feel unhappy again… :(

A/N: I just want to explain that the reason I use Seokmin and not DK or Dokyum is just because I like “Seokmin” more. (If you haven’t noticed already, he my bias.) Mostly because he's the ultimate sass master and because: