Lately, Jin and Sena had not been talking much. Maybe it was only because midterms had kept Jin busy, but Sena was also reveling a lot in her popularity.

And Sena had been distant, probably too busy with her other more popular friends. Sena and Jin had only met during lunch occasionally, and when Sena was in their room. Even then, Sena would only go to her room to sleep or change or shower- nothing else. She rarely spent time in the dorm, not nearly as much as Jin did.

One day, Sena went out with a couple of friends to a party celebrating the end of mid-terms. The whole campus was invited, and it was a big deal apparently. Almost everyone was going, but Jin hated parties and so she decided to stay home.

Apparently, Seokmin was also staying home because he didn’t feel like going. He asked Jin over for an “apology hangout,” as he called it.

He still seemed very sorry about the whole ordeal with Mingyu, and still always texted her apologies. She would tell him to stop apologizing, that she was over it, but he never stopped.

When she got ready that time, she didn’t spend any more time than usual. The last thing she needed was to run into Vernon, who would ruthlessly for trying to look good for Seokmin. She dreaded running into Vernon a lot actually, but she figured he was probably at the party, and so she would not see him.

Ever since that move he pulled after he revealed his theology grade, she could not longer shake off the thought that she had been kissed by him. He probably would laugh at her if he found out how much of a big deal it was for her. To him it probably was one of the hundreds he gave out freely like five times a day.

Thankfully though, she did not run into him when she went to Seokmin’s dorm room.

“You’re staying until like 3:00 AM,” Seokmin warned as soon as she was let in.

“Why?”

“Because research shows that people get over conflicts by spending extended periods of time together. And so the more time we spend together, the more we’ll be good.”

“We are good,” Jin said for the hundredth time, “seriously I forgave you ages ago.”

“I want to be extra good,” Seokmin told her, “so you’re staying until 3:00 AM, got it?”

“Would Jun approve?” Jin asked. She knew that if she had a roommate who brought in friends until 3AM, she would be severely annoyed.

“He went back to China after his last mid-term and he’ll be back in like two days,” Seokmin explained, “So we have to room all to ourselves.” He looked straight at Jin and raised his eyebrows after he said it, clearly cracking a joke that made Jin blush frantically.

“You’ll be bored of me by then, you’ll see,” Jin responded.

“I won’t,” Seokmin told her, “I actually have a lot to tell you.”

After the two of them made themselves comfortable, Jin asked him the question to which she was almost dreading the answer: “will you confess to Sena?”

Seokmin held eye contact with Jin, “what do you think?”

“I think you should,” Jin encouraged.

Seokmin nodded, “we’ll see,” he responded, “what about you? Do you want to confess to whoever you like?”

“No.”

“So you do like someone?”

“No,” Jin responded quickly. She didn’t understand why he was pushing this from her so much, why he was tripping her up to know. Seokmin noticed he might be pushing too far, and quickly withdrew and apologized for being too intrusive.

“Why do you care so much about who I like?” Jin asked him.

“I just want you to be happy, Jin. I swear, that’s all it is,” he responded.

“I am happy,” Jin replied, “I don’t need to like someone to be happy.”

“Do you just not want to date?” he asked, “and feel free to tell me if I overstepping my bounds.”

“It’s not that. And if this is about why I’d reject Mingyu– it’s just that I don’t feel a connection with him. That’s all,” she lied. “He’s great, and I do like him as a friend. That’s it.”

“Okay,” Seokmin accepted with a nod, “I understand.”

“Can we stop talking about that please?” Jin asked. She felt uncomfortable talking about whom she liked with the one person that she liked. It felt uncomfortable lying to him, and pretending so well that she had no feelings at all for anyone. Most importantly, she felt uncomfortable encouraging the prospect of him being with someone else.

“Okay,” Seokmin immediately said, “I vow to not talk about your love life anymore. Unless you bring it up. The last thing I want is to make you uncomfortable like I did last time.”

Seokmin ordered a whole lot of fried chicken for them. As they waited, they discussed other things going on with their life. Jin briefly talked about Vernon, how he had kissed her. Seokmin just grimaced and cursed at him, but he didn’t make a big deal about it, not the way it was a big deal for Jin.

All the discomfort that the falling out had caused between them had almost completely dispersed. It was true what Seokmin had said; spending a lot of time with each other really helps replete all of the negative energy that had existed. They went back to joking, to Seokmin mocking other people, to making her laugh.

As they were having their chicken, she got a text from Mingyu: hey. You’re not, by any chance, at the party, are you?

Jin responded: no. I hate parties!

M: me too. I don’t know why I came. It’s so loud and everyone is drunk.

J: glad I missed that haha.

M: I actually, I know the reason I came. I was actually hoping I would see you there. But it seems my hopes are not fulfilled. Oh wellll…. :D

Jin did not know how to respond to that.

“Who are you texting?” Seokmin asked.

“Mingyu,” she told him.

Seokmin fell silent, clearly not wanting to interfere in this.

“How do I reject him?” Jin asked for advice,

“Tell him you’re interested in someone else,” Seokmin suggested. “He would understand that.”

Jin nodded, “okay.”

Mingyu texted her when it took her long to respond: I’m sorry. Am I making you uncomfortable?

J: No, I’m okay :)

After a slight pause, Mingyu wrote: You probably would have already guessed this, but I like you.

There it was. The confirmation she was waiting for. It had confused her for the longest time, and now that it was confirmed, it was still so confusing.

She didn’t know how to respond. It felt so rude not to respond to him when he had admitted it so openly like that, but she could not bring herself to type.

Seokmin saw that she was troubled by what was happening on her phone.

“It’s hard to reject someone, right?” Seokmin said sympathetically.

Jin nodded, “I don’t know how I feel.”

Seokmin then grabbed Jin’s bag from close by and handed it her, “write it out on your diary. It might help.”

Jin felt that it was such a sweet gesture from Seokmin to suggest that she write in her diary. It showed that he knew her well; he understood that she needed to write it, and not really talk about it. She took her bag from Seokmin and took out her diary and began to write:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Diary,

I feel a lot of things at the moment. First and foremost, I feel kind of touched because of Seokmin. He knew me well enough to understand that I need to write in my diary right now, because my head’s a mess and I don’t know what to do.

I’m in Seokmin’s dorm right now. And just now, Mingyu finally told me upfront that he liked me. It feels so strange to know someone likes me. It’s the first time that it has ever happened to me.

It feels strange, but in such a good way. I feel so overwhelmingly flattered. Like, is this really happening? Is someone really interested in me? Me? Of all people in university? Of all the beautiful tall skinny girls, with gorgeous hair, and on-point make-up? He’s so good-looking and kind and everything, I don’t understand why he would be interested in me.

At the same time, I feel so dejected. I wish Mingyu did not like me. It would have saved me this glumness. Why does Wonwoo have to have feelings for the only person in the world that has ever liked me? I know he said he would not mind that I date him if I wanted (and I do really want to), but I can’t.

It’s going to feel so bad when I reject him. I hate rejecting people. I hate making people feel bad. But now I’m caught in this Catch-22 where whatever I do will make people feel bad: if I accept Mingyu, I’ll hurt Wonwoo. If I reject Mingyu, I’ll spare Wonwoo but hurt Mingyu and possibly even myself. But of course, Wonwoo is my friend and his feelings mean more to me than anyone else’s.

A/N: I feel like this is a pointless chapter welp XD. It’s actually just a set-up for the next chapter, which I will update tomorrow :)

And holy crap guys. I have over 200 subscribers.

I feel so pressured and flattered at the same time. Thank you everyone for all the support. I will do my best to make this well worth your time!