“I know what you’re thinking,” was the first thing that Seokmin said to Jin as soon as she caught him without Sena, who was changing into her swimming clothes in the bathroom.

“Would you mind explaining what you’re doing to her?” Jin asked him.

“I know it looks terrible that I’m leading her on, but I couldn’t stop myself,” he said with a sad look in his eyes. “If I cut her off, she’ll think it’s because of her. She’ll think it’s because she became a dirty person after that hurt her. She’ll think I stopped liking her because of it, and I really don’t want her to think that.”

Jin had not really considered that side of things very much, but Seokmin was right. Sena could possibly attribute Seokmin’s sudden loss of interest in her to the fact she was violated, to the fact her worth somehow decreased because of it.

“We’ll tell her the truth,” Jin said, “and she’ll realize that’s not true.”

“You want me to tell her that I have feelings for you?” Seokmin asked uncertainly.

“I don’t want to hide anything from her anymore.”

Seokmin looked downcast at the prospect of saying something like that to Sena in such a vulnerable state, but he did not seem to disagree. “I wish things were different,” he said, looking at the floor.

Jin nodded in agreement.

“Will she be okay?”

Jin shrugged.

“At this rate, I don’t think we’ll ever go back to the way things were before,” Seokmin said with a sigh.

Jin also could not imagine how things would ever be mended between all of them now. She could not imagine how Sena would ever forgive her. How could Sena forgive a best friend who kissed the boy that she liked in a time when Sena was going through the most difficult phase of her life? A boy that she was only avoiding because she was ? The more Jin thought about it, the more terrible she felt about what she had done.

-

They told her immediately after.

She reacted with surprise, and, just like Jin expected, Sena looked hurt. At first, Sena could not even look up from the floor, and an uncomfortable silence followed where all they could hear was Sena’s heavy breathing.

Sena lifted her head to face everyone’s concerned faces a few seconds later. And much to Jin’s surprise, Sena smiled. It was a forced, painful smile, a smile that felt like a dagger into Jin’s heart.

“Thank you for telling me,” she said, looking from Seokmin to Jin. “But, I would like to have a bit of time to myself, if you don’t mind.” Sena did not wait for an answer from them; she just grabbed her bag and left without looking back.

-

Wonwoo looked for her an hour later and found her lying down on the shore, texting someone on her phone. There were tears in her eyes, but a smile on her face as she typed. Wonwoo took a seat silently beside her. She glanced him and then back at her screen.

“Who are you texting?” Wonwoo asked, not knowing what else to say to her.

“Mingyu is telling me that they took in the guy who hurt me for questioning, and he is still not out. That’s a good sign.”

“Oh… that’s perfect.”

“Perfect timing too. I have something to be happy about to offset all of the sadness.”

“Are you angry with them?”

“With Jin and Seokmin? Never. I love them both with all of my heart. I’m angry at myself for not seeing it earlier.”

“Well, you should be angry with them,” Wonwoo frowned. “Go on, rant on and on to me about how betrayed you feel, and how much you resent both of them. I promise I won’t tell them or judge you; I’ll actually agree with. If I were in your shoes, I would probably wish to never speak to them again. Specifically Jin.”

“I could never wish that. One week without them was torture enough.”

He turned to her with a sympathetic look in his eyes. “You have to be at least a little angry.”

“I was,” Sena said, nodding, “but the more I think about it, the more I feel okay with it. At the end of the day, I kind of did the same thing to her. I feel like we’re both even now,” she said with a strained smile. “I’m kind of glad she did it too, actually. Now I don’t have to feel guilty about all the I put her through.”

“So you’re not going to rant about much you hate her?” Wonwoo asked.

Sena shook her head, “I could never hate her.”

“You know, a few weeks ago, I actually had a similar conversation with Jin. Except she kind of ranted against you a little bit, but she also wanted to forgive you. She was so conflicted about what to do with you. I could tell from that conversation that she loved you though. In the same way I could now tell that you love her. Of course, that conversation ended up with me kissing her and confusing the hell out of her…”

“Wait… what?” Sena asked, narrowing her eyes.

“It’s a long story,” Wonwoo said. He lied down beside her on the sand, “but I now have this conviction to keep no more secrets between us. This is one secret that I feel I should tell the group.”

“And the secret about Mingyu?” Sena asked him with a grin on her face.

“Which one?” Wonwoo responded jokingly, earning him playful push from her. “In all honesty though, I do want to put it all out on the table. Even the one about Mingyu.”

“You like him?” Sena asked with a smile on her face.

“I’ll tell you when we’re the rest of the group,” he answered diffidently.

“Tomorrow then. Just for today, I want to keep my distance from Jin and Seokmin. If you could just relay that to them, please.”

He nodded understandingly, “I will.”

-

It was a sad rest of the day for both Jin and Seokmin. They could not enjoy themselves knowing that Sena was feeling bad because of them. They went to the beach where she was, but Wonwoo had told them not to speak to her today. They both respected that and kept their distance from her. Every once in a while, they sent Wonwoo to check up on her though.

To add to the stress of that day, Jin received a text message from Vernon.

Did you know about Seungcheol?

Jin didn’t know what kind of emotions lied beneath that text. Was it anger? Disappointment? Apathy? Surprise? She wished she knew, but she had nothing to go by but that simple question.

I did, she replied to him.

He did not respond to her, although he did see her message. She kept texting him in an attempt to glean at his reaction to this, but he ignored all of her texts completely after that. She did not know what that meant. Was he too busy to respond, or did he choose not to? And if he chose not to, was it because he hated her, or because he could not think of what to say to her? Whatever it was, there was something inherently negative about the fact he was ignoring her, and that meant he was not entirely happy with her.

It made her feel disheartened and anxious. Her phone was constantly in her hand, awaiting some kind of a response from him. She even tried calling him, but he did not answer.

It was only the following morning that things started becoming a little better. Jin woke up seeing Sena sitting there against the wall with Wonwoo, which was a good sign because it meant Sena was not avoiding them completely.

“Good morning, habibti,” Sena said to her; Jin was so surprised that Sena was even speaking to her.

“Sena…”

“You and Wonwoo are on cleaning duty. You should get right on that. I’ll wake Seokmin so we can start with the breakfast.”

Jin could bit her lower lip, trying but failing to keep her composure. The guilt she was trying so hard to contain overflowed in that one moment and she started to cry.

“I’m so sorry, Sena,” Jin told her friend as tears strolled down her cheeks. “I’m so, so, so sorry.” Sena reached out and put her arms around Jin.

“I forgive you,” she said softly in Jin’s ear, “now stop crying.”

“Why aren’t you mad at me?” Jin asked her friend pulling away from the hug to see Sena’s expression. There was knot in ; she felt like Sena was being too kind and that something was awfully wrong with it. It seemed like a front that Sena was putting up, and Jin wanted her to break free of it and be angry and disappointed like any normal person would in her situation.

“I was mad yesterday. I’m over it today.”

“Sena…”

“Jin, stop crying and go clean. I know you’re just trying to get out of cleaning by crying, and I’m not falling for it,” she joked, getting up to hand Jin a mop.

Jin took the mop sniffling, still feeling like something was so wrong with the way Sena was acting.

“We’ll talk about this later,” Sena promised, “now go do your chores!”

-

The pension was finally clean and their breakfast ramen was ready when the four of them gathered around the table. Everyone seemed to be waiting for Sena to say something, but she just ate her ramen silently.

“Sena,” Seokmin called out to her, “you’re acting so strange. I don’t like it. Why are you treating us like we didn’t just betray you…”

“Because you didn’t,” Sena said quickly, putting down her chopsticks. “We weren’t dating when you guys kissed, and so it wasn’t a betrayal. It wasn’t very nice, but it wasn’t a betrayal. I forgive you both for the meanness though. I’m okay, really. My relationship with Seokmin was a mess to begin with, so I guess ending it once and for all now is for the best.” She turned to Seokmin, “I feel stupid and embarrassed for thinking you still wanted me, and I’m sorry for putting you in the position where you had to pretend like you did.”

“Sena…”

“I admit that I still have feelings for you,” Sena told him. “I’m not going to pretend I magically stopped overnight. But don’t feel bad for me or anything; I kind of did the same thing to Jin back when I started dating you.” She looked to Jin, “we’re even now, and so I’m not angry. But I do hope we can stop hurting one another from now on.”

Jin nodded in agreement. She had tears running down her cheeks; she felt so bad. Sena was hurt. It was so evident from the way her eyes gleaned with the tears of pain that were threatening to fall. At the same time, she seemed so sincere when she said she was not angry.

Jin held out her arms and wrapped them around Sena, who hugged her back and kissed her forehead.

As Sena and Jin hugged, Seokmin bowed to the both of them, apologizing for getting in between them.

“It’s not your fault you’re so likeable,” Sena joked, making him smile sadly.

“I’ll step back,” Seokmin promised, “no more of this relationships stuff with either of you.”

“Aren’t you two going to give it a go?” Sena asked them.

“No,” Jin answered, “we’re not.”

“Why not?” she asked.

“Because I’m dating someone else,” Jin answered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Diary,

I love Sena. I feel like it’s been forever since I’ve felt this overwhelming affection for her. I told her everything that went down between Seokmin and me. She stopped talking to me for one day, but today she forgave me and told me she was no longer angry.

I remember when I was the one who was angry with her. It took a week for me to finally forgive her, and here she is, forgiving me within the day. She is a much better and much stronger person than I.

My relationship with Sena is getting stronger, by my relationship with Vernon seems to be deteriorating at a distance. He found out about Seungcheol, and he asked me if I knew about it through text. That was all. He ignored the rest of my texts and my calls.

I’m so nervous. I don’t know why it bothers me so much that he has been ignoring me, but it’s eating me up inside and stopping me from experiencing any kind of happiness.

A/N: your comments on the last chapter were all so nice omg. They really motivate me to write btw, so thank you so much ily <3