She didn’t plan on it, but Jin did make friends other than Sena. It was just that Sena, being the pretty little free spirit that she is, had forced Jin into social situations. Jin ended up spending time in a group of friends, in a clique, so to speak: Sena, Seokmin and Wonwoo.

Just like Sena and Jin, Seokmin and Wonwoo were also friends since before college. They came from the same province in Seoul and went to the same school. Sena and Seokmin had all of the same classes, and so she naturally grew closer to him. Jin, on the other hand, had three classes with Wonwoo.

Jin was doing a major in theology. She had a lot of passion for theology, a passion she developed in Jordan. Jordan had a very spiritual environment. It was a cultural hub for Muslims, Christians and Jews. She learned about so many religions, and she developed a love for God living there. In Jordan, God was not a social institution like he is in much of the Western world. God is not a limit; He is not a set of rules. He is not oppression. He was a force of positivity in the lives of the Jordanian people– this was a concept that she only grasped living in Jordan.

She wanted to learn about Him, to study Him, to find Him, and to learn about Him in all different religions around the world. Wonwoo was studying theology too and so took many of the same classes as her.

She first saw Wonwoo in her theology classes, but she only talked to him when Sena forced her to meet both him and Seokmin in the first week of class.

“Oh, you’re doing the theology major, right?” Wonwoo asked when she Sena was introducing her.

“Yes,” Jin responded, “you are too, then? I think I remember seeing you in class.”

“Yeah, I am. Are you interested in theology?”

“Yes, very much,” Jin answered.

“Are you religious?”

“I mean I believe in God…”

“Which one?”

“Well I’m a Christian, if that’s what you’re asking …”

“I see,” he responded, and Jin could not help but feel that he looked slightly disappointed.

“Are you religious?” Jin inquired.

Wonwoo looked her straight in the eye and shook his head fervently. There was this grave disapproval in his eyes, and it made Jin feel like Wonwoo hated religion altogether.

“Why are you studying theology then?” Jin asked him curiously.

Wonwoo did not tell her at that moment. He told her many weeks later, when they were more familiar with one another, when they were friends.

“I’m gay,” he admitted to Jin with a shrug, “and I’m studying theology because I want to disprove God, so that people could finally stop using Him as an excuse to hate me.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Diary,

Today I learned that Wonwoo was gay. I didn’t think any differently of him of course, but it felt like he was expecting me to. I was in a weird position when he told me. Clearly, me identifying as a Christian made him very uncomfortable, as if he thought that being a Christian automatically means I hate him. I felt like he was expecting me to say something about it, expecting me to somehow defend Christianity’s stance on homouality. I didn’t know how to explain to him the concept of God that I absorbed from the Jordanian people– the God that is about loving everyone, gays included. I didn’t know how to explain to him that God is not Christianity, or Islam, or Judaism, or prayer, or rules, or churches, or hating homouals, or oppressing women…

I don’t even know how to explain it to myself, but I understand it deep within. That sounds really lame, I guess, but it’s true.

I guess he had bad experience with religious people before. I guess he associates God with all the badness that organized religion had caused. I’m glad he doesn’t hate me for being Christian though. At least, I think he doesn’t hate me.

A/N: Okay, so the way this will work is that I will have the chapter and a diary entry at the end of each chapter. Chapters will be mostly short, and I will update every two days or so. Also, I will introduce Vernon soon, worry not!

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