The next day, Jin went to college anxious again.

Why is it that whenever I come with the intention of confronting him, I feel anxious? Jin thought grudgingly. It always happened with him. She always felt this uncomfortable pit in her stomach whenever anything involved him. She wondered how he became such a source of distress for her. Why did her life always happen to involve him so much?

She grumbled to herself. She did not want to talk to him at all. If it were up to her, she would have just ignored him and pretended she never saw that stupid envelope. But she did slap him, and she couldn't bear to live with the guilt of doing something like that without apologizing, even for a jerk like Vernon.

What’s going to happen this time? Will it end in something dramatic again? Will he be angry with her? Jin didn’t think so. If he were angry, he would have done something ages ago.

When lunchtime finally came, and she saw Vernon sitting there with his obnoxious friends, she figured it was time.

She approached him, that pit in her stomach feeling heavier and heavier with every step.

“Can I talk to you alone?” she said before he even noticed her. His obnoxious friends started to snicker. He crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow at her.

“Here to apologize, Frostbite?” he sneered.

Jin hated being put on the spot. She was nervous about apologizing to begin with, and she hated that she was being made to do so in front of his friends. She hated that they reacted to everything she said. It made her feel self-conscious, and she just did not want to do it.

“No,” she replied to Vernon, and then turned to leave. Vernon got up from his table and grabbed her arm before she could.

“Let’s talk,” he said, letting go of her arm and walking over the same empty lecture hall she had slapped him in. She followed him inside.

When they were both inside, he turned to her and crossed his arms, waiting expectantly for Jin to say something.

Jin looked to the floor. She couldn’t even bring herself to make eye contact with him. She was sorry, but also scared of him at the same time. Hence, she stood there frozen in her attempts to come out with it and say sorry.

“Well?” he asked when he saw that no words were coming form .

She gulped and then looked up and faced him, “I thought you were the one that started the rumor about Wonwoo,” she explained.

 “I’m not that much of a jerk,” he scoffed.

“Well, I thought you were,” Jin said with a shrug.

“Are you going to apologize or what?” he asked, frowning.

“I’m sorry,” she said sincerely and bowed fully. “I misjudged you. I should not have slapped you.” She held her bowing position. She didn’t want to straighten up, because that meant she had to make eye contact and eye contact with him made her nervous.

“That’s good and all,” Vernon said, “but, do you know how humiliating it is to be slapped?”

Jin groaned internally. She knew he wouldn't let it go so easily.

“It’s humiliating, and I don’t easily forgive when people humiliate me,” Vernon said with a slight smirk. “I need to humiliate you the same way you humiliated me. It’s only fair, right?”

“Slap me then,” Jin said looking up to offer her cheek to him.

“I don’t like hitting people,” Vernon said. “I’ll make it easy for you.” He pointed to his cheek and lowered his face. “My cheek still hurts from when you slapped it,” he explained, “it needs a kiss to make it better.”

“When will you stop asking me for that?” she muttered under her breath.

“You owe me this time,” he said as he put his cheek forward.

Jin hesitated. The prospect of kissing his cheek was uncomfortable for her, but at the same time, she did feel like she owed him. She took a deep breath, leaned forward and swiftly pecked his cheek.

When she pulled back, she felt flustered and could not even look him in the eye.

“I forgive you, Frostbite,” Vernon told her as he chuckled, “my cheek feels all better now.”

She bowed because that was only thing she could think to do that did not involve eye contact.

“Hopefully when I brag about the kiss in front of your boyfriend, it doesn’t make him jealous,” he sneered.

Jin immediately knew that Vernon was talking about Seokmin. “He’s not my boyfriend,” she said. She didn’t know why she even felt the need to defend herself or set it straight with him, but it bothered her that Vernon had made that assumption.

“Isn’t he?” Vernon asked doubtfully, “you spent the night with him platonically then?”

“I’m not going to explain myself to you,” Jin replied.

“Well, if you’re not dating him, than you won’t use that gift I left you in your locker,” he smirked.

Jin felt flustered at the mention of that “gift.” Vernon was so shameless when it came to these things, and it made Jin so uncomfortable.

“I’m leaving,” Jin said, turning to walk out of the door.

“Wait,” he called out to her. She stopped. “Do you speak fluent English?” he asked her.

“Why?”

“Just a question."

“Yes,” she responded. Her school in Jordan had taught both science and math in English, and so she knew the language well and was more fluent than most everyone else in Korea.

“Speak to me, then,” he said in fluent English.

“Why?” she responded in English.

“I want to hear you speak. Tell me about Jordan in English.”

Jin didn’t understand why he was asking this, but seeing his expression, she could tell that he was actually being serious and not playing a practical joke like usual. She didn’t know why he wanted to assess her fluency in English, but she went for it and did as he asked.

“Jordan is a beautiful country,” she told him in English. He listened carefully, as if assessing her.

He seemed satisfied with that phrase, because he nodded his head. He took out his phone. “Your number, please,” he requested in English.

“Why?”

“I’m going to ask you for something later,” Vernon told her.

Jin hesitated, but then agreed. She told him her number as he typed it up in his phone.

“Thanks, Frostbite,” he said, returning to speaking in Korean. He winked at her and then left the lecture room.

Jin trailed out of the room behind him. She asked herself whether she should have given him her number. Something told her it was a mistake. At the same time, for some strange, unknown reason, she trusted him. She didn’t know why, but she did. He had all her secrets in his hands, but she was no longer bothered by that at all. They were safe with him, she unconsciously thought.

She watched him as he went back to the table with his friends. She hated his friends, but in him she felt some kind of invisible, unconventional camaraderie. There was something comfortable about him. It was strange.

Maybe my crush on him has not completely faded, Jin thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Diary,

So I apologized to Vernon. He accepted the apology after I gave him a kiss on the cheek. Yes, I kissed him. He’s the first guy I ever kissed that was not in my family. I feel like it should be a big deal for me, but it’s not. I don’t know, it was just my lips on his cheeks for like half a second. Why should I attribute more meaning to it than there is?

I mean it made me blush in the moment, but now, I almost forgot about it.

Maybe it would have been a big deal had I actually had feelings for him. Maybe if it were Seokmin, it would have been a big deal. But this one was just me doing it to seal the conflict and apologize. I wonder if it was a big deal for him though? I mean he has been asking for it since the very beginning.

What am I thinking? Of course it meant nothing to him. It only mattered to him as far as it embarrassed me, probably. Well, joke’s on him because I wasn’t that embarrassed…

I don’t know why I give him so much credit. In the end, he’s just a jerk but somehow I always end up liking him. Kind of. I don’t know. My feelings for him are so strange. I go from hating him to trusting him so easily.

For some reason, I feel like I can trust him. It’s weird right? A few pages ago, I said I hated him and I wished he would die, and now it's the opposite. Maybe it’s because I feel indebted to him for misjudging him and physically hurting him. Maybe it’s because he had all of my secrets but he didn’t do anything about it, and I trust that he wouldn’t.

I gave him my number. He asked me if I spoke English, and I said yes, and so he said he would ask me for something later. I heard him speak in English for the first time today. I always knew he was half something non-Korean.

I think I still have a small tiny little crush on him after today. He’s nicer than I gave him credit for before.

Plus, he’s cute. Like, really, really cute. Today I realized it more than ever, especially when he spoke English. God, what has gotten into me?

I say this now, but just watch me. In a couple of days, he’ll do something mean and I’ll wish him dead again. It’s always like that with this guy. He lulls me into this false sense of security before I hate him again.

But right now, I don’t hate him. I don’t hate him at all.

A/N: omg I have over 300 subs?? Thank you guys so much.