Jin woke up to the sound of running water. She gathered that Sena was also up and washing her face. Jin rubbed her eyes tiredly and sat upright, realizing that the time has finally come for the two of them to talk.

Jin was nervous about it all of the sudden. She wasn’t great with sentimental make-up sessions, and she didn’t really know what to say to her. Jin wanted forgive her, but she didn’t know how to go about doing that so that it sounded sincere, so that they actually go back to the way they were before. She didn’t want this to be something they did out of obligation that wouldn’t actually change anything between them. She didn’t want it to sound fake. She genuinely missed her best friend.

Jin was not angry with her anymore. Jealous, yes, but angry, not really. She was long over the fact Sena had read her diary. More surprisingly, the fact she was (had been) dating Seokmin did not bother her nearly as much as it had.  On the contrary, Jin wished that they would get back together. Jin wondered if that meant she was getting over him. She knew that the feelings she had for him had not faded much, but they were fading, which was an improvement.

Sena stepped out of the bathroom with a towel drying her face, when she removed the towel and saw that Jin was awake, she froze.

“Good morning,” Jin said to Sena with a slight bow.

“Good morning,” Sena replied. She put the towel to the side and took a seat on her own bed. She seemed just as ambivalent as Jin was.

There was an awkward silence between them for a while, and Jin really didn’t know what to say to break it.

It was Sena that eventually broke it asking: “Wonwoo said that you told him that you wanted to talk to me. It’s true, right?”

Jin nodded, “I have wanted to talk to you for a long time, but you're never around..”

“Can I say something to you?”

Jin nodded.

“I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry for dating him. I’m sorry for not telling you about it. And I’m sorry for reading your diary. I know it doesn’t sound sincere when I list it all out like this, but I am so sincere sorry. I love you so much, and knowing that I caused you so much pain it eating me up, habibti. I’m so sorry, and I’m going to be selfish and ask for your forgiveness even though I know I don’t deserve it.” She had eventually started crying as she said it. At the end of it, Sena covered her face.

Jin could tell that it was sincere, and that it really was driving Sena mad with guilt. Sena rarely cried, but it seemed like nowadays, she was crying way too much. Jin could tell with the lifelessness now present in her once bright eyes.

Jin stood up, took a seat besides her friend and wrapped her arms around Sena. Sena immediately reacted and also wrapped her arms around Jin too, squeezing her tight.

“I’m sorry for ignoring you for so lon…” Jin began to say.

“Don’t you dare apologize to me,” Sena stopped her, “I deserved everything that I got, and more. I don’t deserve you.”

“I forgive you for everything,” Jin continued, “I want us to go back to the way were before. When we were in Jordan…”

“I miss Jordan so much,” Sena said, and suddenly broke down crying harder than before.

Jin patted Sena’s back and also began to cry. She also missed Jordan, but clearly Sena had missed it so much more.

Sena pulled away from the hug to grab some tissues and blow her nose, and wipe her face.

“I’m sorry I made you sad,” Jin said, feeling guilty for mentioning Jordan to her and causing her to burst.

“Sad? This is the happiest I’ve been all week,” Sena said smiling through her tears.

There was a silence between them after that, in which Sena gradually stopped crying. Jin waited for Sena to calm down before she brought up the other thing she wanted to say.

“Get back together with Seokmin,” Jin requested from Sena.

Sena’s face fell at the mention of his name.

“You shouldn’t have broken up with him in the first place,” Jin added.

“I have my reasons for breaking up with him,” Sena claimed, “please let’s not talk about this.”

“I know it’s because of me…”

“It’s not,” Sena asserted, “I swear to God, Jin. It’s not about you at all.”

Jin was taken aback by that. She had always thought that Sena had broken up with him because she was guilty. She had never considered that it was something else altogether.

“Then what is it?” Jin asked curiously.

Sena seemed hesitant. “I… I can’t say.”

“What do you mean you can’t say? Do you still like him?”

“Of course I like him.”

“Then that’s the only thing that matters,” Jin stated.

“No, Jin. A lot of things matter so much more than being with someone you like.”

Jin narrowed her eyes. She couldn’t imagine what Sena was referring to, nor what she was hiding, nor why she was hiding it. She had so many questions, but before she had the opportunity to ask them, Sena interrupted her.

“Now you don’t have to go out with Vernon anymore.”

“I don't want to talk about Vernon...”

“I want to talk about it,” Sena interrupted, “why would you go out with someone like him, Jin? Is it really because of me and Seokmin? Well, now you know that it’s not about you, so please end it with him before he hurts you.”

“He’s not going to hurt me.”

“Jin, you don’t know him.”

“Neither do you.”

“I think I know him better than you do,” Sena claimed.

“I doubt that.”

“Listen to me, Jin. Even if you marry him, I’m not getting back with Seokmin…”

“But why not? Tell me.”

“I can’t tell you,” Sena said.

“But why not?!”

“I just can’t,” Sena repeated loudly, her voice faltered at the end, and tears started coming down from her eyes again.

Jin wanted to inquire further, but seeing Sena start crying because of whatever it was made her hold back. It felt intrusive to keep asking.

After Sena got herself together and stopped crying, she said, “are you going to end it with Vernon?”

“Please, Sena. I will respect your decision to stay apart from Seokmin, but please respect mine with Vernon.”

“Did he charm you or something?” Sena asked, cringing. “Do you think he actually likes you? Jin, he’s a playboy. He doesn’t like you and he’s deluding you into thinking that he does…”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes, I do! And I’m begging you to stop letting him have his way with you, because I know his intentions.”

“He’s not that bad…”

“Oh God, Jin. He only wants to sleep with you!” Sena exclaimed.

Jin froze. It would be a lie to say that Sena’s words didn’t strike a chord. And the fact that Sena said them with such conviction, as if she knew for sure, made Jin feel more uncertain about Vernon than she had ever been before.

“That’s why he’s being so nice and charming with you now. He’s making you fall for him so that he can easily take you when the time comes. Don’t fall for it.”

“I don’t believe that,” Jin said to Sena hesitantly.

“Just trust me,” Sena said softly, “you know I’m only saying this because I care about you.”

“Don’t say it anymore,” Jin responded, “because I believe you’re being unfair to him.”

“I think you’re being reckless…”

“Sena, we just made up, please let’s not fight again already,” Jin said.

“I just don’t want you do be hurt,” Sena said.

“I won’t be hurt.”

“Jin, I know things about him that you don’t,” Sena said.

“Is this about the rumor with the drunk girl? I heard it.”

“You heard that rumor, and you still want to go out with him?” Sena asked, hanging open.

“Because I know the truth about that rumor, and he didn’t do anything to her.”

“Is that what he told you?” Sena scoffed.

“Stop!” Jin said covering her ears, feeling annoyed and frustrated with Sena’s judgmental tone.

“Okay,” Sena raised her hands in defeat. “I’ll stop. Because I don’t want this to turn into a fight.”

“I need to get ready for class,” Jin said, not wanting to carry on with this conversation. She got up to grab a change of clothes from her closet.

“Please just think about what I said,” Sena requested before Jin slammed the bathroom door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Diary,

I feel so frustrated all of the sudden. And angry. And bitter. I made up with Sena, and then Sena had to stir up an argument. Why does she always do this? Why can’t Sena just let it be peaceful between us for one day?

I don’t know what to think anymore. We had a nice moment and I though everything would go back to the way it was before, but then she brought up Vernon and we argued. I feel so angry with her. But honestly, she made rethink my decision with Vernon.

She told me that he only wanted to sleep with me. Maybe it’s true. It’s probably true.

I feel disappointed that I never considered it before. I innocently considered he actually liked me, but I guess wanting to sleep with me seems more plausible for someone like Vernon. Sena knows more about boys than I do, and when she said it, she sounded so sure.

Something is kind of off about Sena now that I think about it. She’s hiding so much from me. I don’t know if I should be offended that she isn’t trusting me enough to tell me, but for some reason, I’m not angry about that...

Why am I angry with her? Maybe it’s because I didn’t want to be discouraged from going on the date with Vernon, but she discouraged me. I didn’t want to doubt him, but she’s making me doubt him. Why don’t I want to doubt him?

I feel like I lost sight of the reason I’m going out with him in the first place. I thought I was going out with him to show Sena that I’m over Seokmin, but that’s not the reason anymore. Sena told me that her breakup with Seokmin has nothing to do with me, and yet I still want to go through with this date. Even after the suspicion I developed after talking to Sena. I still want to go through with this date. Why?

I think he charmed me, like Sena said. He’s making me believe that he likes me, and so no matter what happens, I will still want to go on this date.

So… I just did something kind of stupid and desperate. I just texted Vernon saying that I wanted to move up the first date to tonight instead of tomorrow. I just feel like if I wait until tomorrow, Sena would keep nagging me to the point that I would eventually give in, and I don’t want to give in. I am going on that date no matter what. And I’m not going to let Sena (or anyone) dissuade me.

Why is everyone so against him though?

I think people are misjudging him.

Or maybe I’m just stupid for not seeing what everyone else is seeing in him.

A/N: I at making Sena likeable right? OH WELL