Throughout the entire class, Wonwoo was just looking at his notes, avoiding people’s eyes and feeling vulnerable. She could tell from the way he was stiff, and  how little he engaged with the class. He did not write notes nor raise his hand to answer questions.

Although Wonwoo hated theology, he was still interested in it. Usually, he was so engaged with everything that they learned in class, but now, he seemed so out of it. Jin felt like she had an obligation to calm him, but there was nothing she could do.

When class was over, Wonwoo seemed relieved.

“I want to go back to my dorm,” he told Jin, “I feel like a deer surrounded by hungry carnivores.”

It was lunchtime, and Sena and Seokmin would have probably been waiting for them in the cafeteria. Jin requested that he at least join them for that. Wonwoo agreed after a little bit of protest and a promise that they would sit away from everyone else.

As they walked out of the class, Wonwoo reached out with his hand, shyly and wordlessly requesting that she take it. Jin immediately conceded and held it.

“It shuts people up,” Wonwoo explained sheepishly as they walked hand in hand.

Jin nodded in understanding.

They found Sena and Seokmin sitting down beside each other waiting for them in the cafeteria. As Jin and Wonwoo approached them, she saw Sena laugh at something that Seokmin said, and she saw him smile brightly back at her. It brought back that tingling feeling she identified as jealousy. She suppressed it though. Now was not the time to think about jealousy.

Jin and Wonwoo came closer to them, and when they noticed them together, both seemed surprised at the handholding. The surprise didn’t last long, as both seemed to catch on as to why it was happening.

“Hey,” Seokmin greeted them, looking sympathetically onto Wonwoo. “How are you holding up?”

“I’m okay,” Wonwoo responded in somewhat of a lie.

Jin suggested that they eat in the outdoor patio, where no one usually ate because it was cold. Both Sena and Seokmin agreed immediately.

When they went to buy their lunch, Wonwoo said he would not eat.

“Why not?” Sena asked him.

“My roommate moved out so I have to pay twice as much for rent. I can’t afford the luxury of everyday lunch anymore,” he explained.

Jin offered to pay for him, but he said he would never take it. Seokmin told her that it was hopeless to insist, and that his pride is worth much more to him than lunch. As Wonwoo waited for them in the patio, the three of them bought lunch. Sena bought an extra one for Wonwoo. She said she would force it down his throat if she had to.

They sat down on a table, and Sena place the tray right in front of Wonwoo.

“No,” Wonwoo said to Sena, conviction in his eyes as he eyed her sternly.

“I already bought it,” Sena complained, “you’d be wasting money if you don’t eat it.”

“No,” he repeated, “you eat it.”

“I’m repaying you for carrying me the night of the party, so it’s not like you didn’t earn it.”

“Sena…”

“Eat. If you don’t eat, none of us will eat,” she spoke for all of them crossing hers arms haughtily. Seokmin, who had already started eating, immediately put down his chopsticks brusquely.

After a moment’s hesitation, Wonwoo picked up his chopsticks. Sena clapped her hands and smiled in triumph.

“I’m paying you back,” Wonwoo said, pointing at her with his chopstick before digging into his food.

“So are you two pretending to date or something?” Seokmin asked, eying Jin with the side of his eye.

“No,” Wonwoo replied, “we’re not.”

“What’s up with the handholding?” Seokmin followed up.

“It’s just to stop people from making comments,” Jin explained.

“So you are pretending to date.”

“That’s actually a really good idea,” Sena added, “maybe the rumors will die out if you guys keep putting up this act for long enough.”

“I’m uncomfortable with that,” Wonwoo said quickly, “not with the idea of pretending to date Jin, but of the idea of using Jin like that just so that my gay doesn’t face the social consequences of being gay.”

“I’m okay with it,” Jin said to Wonwoo.

“Well, you’re too nice.”

“I can do it, really. I can walk to your dorm every morning and walk you to classes. All I have to do is hold your hand. You can deny the rumors, and everything will go back to normal.”

Wonwoo looked to Jin. He seemed touched that she would offer herself like that to him. “You’re too nice,” he repeated, seeming flustered.

Just then, someone approached their table. When Wonwoo saw who it was, he froze.

“I’m sorry for interrupting,” Mingyu said, bowing to each of them.

Jin felt happy to see him. She smiled in his direction, and bowed back. She recalled that he had seen her and Wonwoo holding hands that morning, which was awkward to say the least considering that Mingyu had just one day back asked her to go out with him.

“I just wanted to formally apologize to both Jin and Wonwoo for what happened the night before,” Mingyu said. “I feel stupid for not considering the possibility that you guys would like each other. I was foolishly asking Wonwoo for advice about asking Jin out… and oh God. I feel so embarrassed.”

Jin was at a loss for what to say. She felt like denying it, but she didn’t know if Wonwoo expected her to. She looked to Wonwoo for guidance. He looked just as blank as she was.

It was Seokmin who answered, “it’s okay, Mingyu. They weren’t dating when you confessed anyways.”

“I see,” Mingyu said. He looked towards the both of them: “Congratulations. And Jin, I’m glad you were able to get with the person you like. Vernon knew best after all.” He bowed with a smile and then left.

Wonwoo closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh as he rubbed his forehead. Jin could not really imagine how he felt about the whole thing. The guy that Wonwoo liked now thinks Wonwoos’s dating the girl that the same guy liked. Jin felt like such a burden there, coming in between them in so many ways.

“Why did he say ‘Vernon knows best,’” Seokmin asked Jin curiously.

“Actually, can someone explain to me what in the world is going on?” Sena asked, looking at all of them, “Who is he? It looks like everyone knows him except me. Jin, did that guy ask you out?”

Jin had almost forgotten that Sena was in the dark about Mingyu, about Vernon and about almost everything in her life right now.

“Yeah,” Jin told Sena, feeling guilty for not telling her earlier

Sena blinked. She looked kind of hurt that everyone knew except her. “Oh, okay,” she replied.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. It was all very sudden.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Sena replied to Jin with a clearly forced smile.

If anything indicated the deterioration of Jin and Sena’s friendship, it was this exchange. Jin felt as if it marked the beginning of the end. It felt as though there was this mutual awareness of distrust among the two of them. Suddenly, there was this grey cloud looming over them.

It made Jin feel sad.

She wanted to do something about it, salvage their dwindling friendship in some way. It seemed too precious a thing for Jin to just leave it like this, so vulnerable, on the brink of disappearance.

To add to the gloomy feeling now congregating inside of her, she spotted Vernon with the corner of her eye. He was sitting at the table with a bunch of his friends, eating lunch. She remembered that she had to ask him if it were him that spread the rumor.

The newly-formed tension between her and Sena, along with the searing curiosity to know if it was Vernon caused her to excuse herself from the table.

She approached Vernon, her heart beating more with every step she took. She was so extremely nervous about confronting him. Talking to him always made her nervous because it almost always ended in something weird and dramatic. Last time, it ended in him aiding in her rejection of Mingyu. Before that, it ended in a kiss on the cheek. She wondered if this time it would end in something weird again.

She tapped his back when he didn’t notice her behind him. He turned his head, and when he saw her, he smirked. It was an malicious smirk, as if he knew he had done something bad and was now confronting her about it.

“Can I talk to you alone?” she managed to ask him. His annoying friends all ooed and aaed, and some let out suggestive guffaws.

“Sure, Frostbite,” he said, getting up from his chair and leading her away from everyone.

They went into an empty lecture hall, and he faced her, still smirking.

“I think I know why you want to talk to me,” Vernon started, “I told you I would get revenge when you ignored me last time.”

“So it was you?”

“Who else would it be?” he sneered, as if he was taunting her.

Jin fell silent. Her jaw hung open, and she was at a loss for words.

“Come on, it’s not like it’s a bad thing,” he defended.

 “You’re so… mean,” she said. She was so angry with him. She felt her chest tighten, and her fist clench.

“It didn’t hurt you, did it?” Vernon responded when he saw her reaction, “I don’t know why you’re so worked up about it. With all the secrets I have, I could have done something so much worse. Sure it may have hurt your guy friend’s pride or whatever, but it does nothing to you…”

She could not hold it in any longer. She took her hand and she flung it across his face in an outbreak of anger. Finally that snide look on his face subsided, and he looked surprised as he held his cheek where she had slapped him.

“You could have done absolutely anything else but that!” she spat, “it was not your secret, and it was not even mine. I don’t think you understand how much you ruined him.”

He did not reply; he only blinked.

She did not want to look at his face anymore. She stormed out of the room, feeling like she wanted to cry out of frustration. She took a deep breath and held it in as she went back to the table. She needed to write the welling aggravation away in her diary.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Diary,

I slapped him, and I wish I could do so much more.

I wish I could strangle him. I wish I could a knife into his heart and murder him. I hate him so much. More than I ever hated him before.

Because of him, Wonwoo can’t eat lunch because he has to pay twice the rent for his dorm because his roommate moved out. Because of him, Wonwoo is going through so much crap. People are insulting him, and he’s afraid of walking outside alone. Because of Vernon, Wonwoo's head is always down. Because of him, Wonwoo is not able to engage in any class discussion because he feels vulnerable. Vernon made my friend’s life miserable, and I will never forgive him for it.

The worst part is that it’s partly my fault. I’m the reason that Wonwoo is feeling like this. Me. I’m the only who lost my diary, and that’s how Vernon came to know. This would not have happened if it weren’t for me being so careless with my friend's secrets. I feel so ashamed and responsible.

I’m sorry Wonwoo.

A/N: DO YOU GUYS HATE ME??? Before you unsubscribe in rage against what I did to Vernon’s character, just … take a deep breath and accept my humblest apologies.