Seokmin had called and texted at least 50 times. Jin ignored it all. She only glanced at his texts, and he seemed extremely apologetic and upset over what happened. Jin had considered answering him or replying to him sometimes, just to put him out of his misery, but she remained stout in her decision to just wait it out. She just did not want to deal with him now.

She distracted herself from the hurt by studying and putting her phone on silent. She needed to get all A’s so that she is considered for a scholarship. She made that her motivation and she studied and studied.

Jin knew she would have to face him eventually, and that she would forgive him. She could not hold a grudge against a person who apologizes for long, no matter how badly she was wronged. She would have to face him when she goes to college tomorrow.

She didn’t dread it the way she had dreaded facing Vernon. She was not afraid of Seokmin, and she knew that he was sorry for what he did. She just did not want to talk to him now, because it gave her too much to think about. Studies were here priority after all.

The following day, she went to the library in the morning like she usually did and located Wonwoo in the corner, embracing the spectacle of Mingyu. She avoided Mingyu’s gaze as she went towards Wonwoo.

“Hey,” said Wonwoo, “what’s up?”

“I need to tell you something,” Jin said. She needed to let Wonwoo know about what happened with her and Mingyu, and about the very subtle possibility (Jin didn’t really believe it, but it was still an obscure possibility) that Mingyu liked her.

“What?”

“Mingyu asked me to go with him to a restaurant,” she told Wonwoo apologetically. She studied his facial expression. If he was in any way saddened by it, then he was good at hiding that.

“Cool,” Wonwoo said, “like on a date?”

“I don’t think so. He said it was because he wanted me to tell him about Arab cuisine…”

Wonwoo laughed: “Jin, have you ever been asked out?”

Jin shook her head. She has never been asked out ever. In Jordan, people did not ask people out, and so far in Korea, she was too aloof to be asked out. Plus she was not pretty nor cool, and everyone around her only ever pays attention to Sena.

“He was asking you out,” Wonwoo affirmed. He didn’t look irked by it at all. On the contrary, he seemed amused at Jin not realizing it.

“How do you know?”

“That’s the way guys do it,” Wonwoo said, “no guy will come up to you and be like: yo let’s date.”

Jin shook her head. She refused to believe it; what could Mingyu possibly see in her. Mingyu had seen her at her worst: crying hysterically in library wearing pajamas. Plus she was not pretty by any standard, and she did not exude of attractive confidence like Mingyu did. How could someone as majestic as Mingyu ever want to go out with her.

“So, did you say yes?”

“Of course not.”

“Why not?” Wonwoo asked, as if he did not know.

“Because you…”

“Don’t refuse him only because of me. I already came to terms with the fact I can never have him. If I could choose any girl on campus to date him, I would choose you. If you like him, than please go for it. I would actually prefer it to him going for some other random girl…”

Jin frowned and shook her head, “I couldn’t.”

“Don’t say that. If you like him, then go for it…”

Jin shook her head again, “I don’t. Plus, I don’t think it was meant to be a date. Also, I already told you: I like someone else.”

“That you like someone else is a valid reason for rejecting him. Me, on the other hand, am not. By the way, you still did not tell me who it is.” He looked at her expectantly and crossed his arms.

Jin felt she had no reason not to tell him. She trusted him, and she felt like she owed him something after the whole Mingyu deal.

“Swear to God you won’t tell?” she asked.

“I don’t believe in God,” he reminded her slyly, “but yeah, I swear.”

“It’s very important that you don’t tell absolutely anyone, especially not Sena or Seokmin. No one. It’s between me and you only.”

“Jin, come on, you know I won’t tell anyone.”

“It's Seokmin," she finally admitted.

Wonwoo’s eyes widened, “damn.”

Jin nodded and averted her eyes.

“And he has no idea?”

She shook her head.

After taking a moment to process it, he looked at her sympathetically and said: “it’s hard to be in love with a friend. I would know. I understand what you’re going through.”

Jin averted her eyes from his, feeling shy about it all of the sudden. She had never really considered her feelings for Seokmin as “being in love,” but perhaps it was.

Wonwoo reached out and took her hand and squeezed it supportively, “I won’t tell anyone. And it's always good to tell someone about something like this. The more you keep it in, the harder it is to cope with.”

Jin smiled at him nodded, “yes, it feels good to tell someone.”

“Am I the only one that knows?”

She nodded. It was only afterwards that she realized that Vernon knew too, but she decided to ignore that.

-

She was in the library studying and skipping lunch when someone tapped her shoulder. She expected it to be Seokmin coming to apologize, but she was quite unpleasantly surprised to see that it was Vernon. What could he possibly want with her now?

He took a seat beside her, much to her dismay.

“Look Frostbite, I’m going to request something from you right now.”

“Is is a request or blackmail?” she asked uncertainly.

“Hear me out,” he said, “so you’re a pretty smart chick. You seem to know your crap in our theology class. Our mid-term is tomorrow, and I don’t know ."

It was true that they had their mid-term tomorrow, and Jin had already finished studying for that ages ago. Theology was easy for Jin, and the exam was going to be multiple-choice, and so she wasn’t very worried about it.

“Tutor me,” he requested. It wasn’t really a request, more like a modest demand.

“If I say no, will you threaten to reveal my secrets?”

“You’ll just have to say ‘no’ to find out. For now, it’s a request,” he replied with a grin.

Somehow, she knew he would threaten her. She could see it from the look in his eyes, and the way he talked so condescendingly, as if he somehow owned her. Not really wanting to hear him blackmail her, she conceded with a slight nod.

“Great,” he said, as if he expected her to say it. “Meet me here at 7PM?”

She nodded. With the flick of his hair, he left.

-

Seokmin’s apology came soon afterward. He spotted her in the library, and asked her to follow him somewhere they could talk freely.

Jin agreed. She wanted to get this awkward apology of his over with. She would just forgive him and move on; she had already planned it.

She followed him into an empty lecture hall. He closed the door and leaned against it, looking at the floor. She waited for him to say something.

“I’m not going to make any excuses for myself...” he began.

“I forgive you,” Jin said quickly, interrupting him. She wanted to spare him the sentimental apology and the awkwardness that would come with it.

Seokmin frowned, “no, you don’t. I didn’t even apologize yet.”

“I know you didn’t mean to hurt me or anything. Sorry I overreacted and…”

Seokmin took a few steps closer and gently put his hand over before she had the opportunity to say anything else, “you were not wrong to be angry, Jin. Don’t you dare apologize to me if I ever hurt you. And you are also not going to forgive me without hearing my apology first.”

Seokmin put down his hands and took both of Jin’s hands in his. Jin stiffened.

“I am not going to make any excuses. I was wrong to call Mingyu, and I was wrong to not talk to you about it. The more I think about it, the more I realize how much of a jerk move that was. I’m so sorry, truly.”

“I forgive you,” Jin repeated avoiding his eyes that seemed to be piercing her.

“Look at me,” he asked her, “look at me and tell me you forgive me, or I won’t believe it.”

She felt so uncomfortable all of the sudden. He was standing closer to her than usual, holding her hand, and now he expected her to look directly at him. She was afraid she would falter in some way if she did.

She wanted to break this kind of intimacy as soon as possible, and so she took a deep breath and looked at him, telling him again that she forgave him. She averted her eyes again, feeling too exposed in this situation. She also slightly pulled her hands out of his, and he let them go.

“Jin,” Seokmin called softly. She raised her head and looked at him again, “I’m so afraid that you think that the reason I did it was for my own personal gain, so that I can get to Sena. It’s not true. I swear to God it’s not true. I did it because I thought you wanted to date, and I was stupid and thought I was helping. Please don’t think I did it for Sena…”

“I don’t,” she reassured him, but she felt like she didn’t sound believable.

Seokmin nodded, “I don’t want it to be awkward between us. I need to do something to break this ice between us, and I know what. I want to tell you about her, Jin. The one that died. Come over tonight.”

“There’s no ice between us,” Jin reassured Seokmin, “you don’t need to tell me if that’s the only reason.”

“I want to,” Seokmin said, “plus, last time you came it was a disaster. We need to make it up.”

Just as Jin what about to agree, she remembered she already made plans that night to tutor Vernon.

“After exams,” Jin suggested. Seokmin nodded.

“I’m sorry, Jin.”

“Stop apologizing,” Jin smiled at him and pushed him playfully, “now go study.”

“If I fail, it would be your fault by the way,” Seokmin responded in his typical jesting voice, “you kept me up at night and I couldn’t study because I was worried about you.”

“Sorr…”

“Don’t you dare say it. If I hear the s word from you I swear to God Jin, I won’t study at all and I will fail and it would be all your fault all over again.”

“I’m gonna say it.”

“I seriously will not study. Don’t try me on this Jin.”

“Sor…”

“Jin!”

“.”

Seokmin raised an eyebrow.

“You said not to say the ‘s word,’” she explained sheepishly, and Seokmin burst out laughing after he understood.

“Jin, I love you,” Seokmin said through his fit of laughter.

“Stop laughing and go study,” Jin responded to stop herself from blushing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Diary,

I just came from talking to Seokmin. It’s all good now. We laughed it out, and I think I’m over the whole thing now. I still didn’t ask him what happened in the conversation with Mingyu though, I probably should just so I know what’s happening and what Mingyu is expecting.

Seokmin told me he would tell me about her, his late lover. Somehow, I feel flattered that he would open up that wound in front of me. I don’t think I’ve actually ever seen him in a vulnerable state...

He'll tell me after exams. It would have been tonight, but I have to tutor the douchebag for the theology exam, unfortunately. He sort of blackmailed me into it. But to be honest, I’m kind of relieved. I thought he would blackmail me into doing worse things, like writing his papers or making a fool of myself in front of people or flashing my s or other things I don’t even want to write down.

I probably shouldn’t jinx it. He might do it later. But I have a feeling he won’t. He doesn't seem that manipulative.

Oh, and today I also told Wonwoo about Mingyu and my feelings for Seokmin. He was super supportive of it all. He even seemed less agitated by the possibility that Mingyu was asking me out on a date than I though he would be.

On the contrary, he encouraged me to go for it if I wanted to.

I  never really considered this before, but if what everyone is saying is true, and if Mingyu really was asking me out, then of course I would want to go for it. Of course I would. Mingyu is kind and handsome and funny… and honestly a perfect way to help me forget about Seokmin.

It seems almost profane to say that though. As I write it, I feel guilty. I can’t do it to Wonwoo, even if he gave me “permission” to. It’s just not right.

Why am I even thinking about this though? Of course Mingyu doesn’t like me. Or does he?

A/N: I’m like 4ish days away from finishing my exams. I can almost smell the freedom. Next chapter would be up soon though, don’t worry. It might be shorter than this one though :)
Thank you so much for being patient. Also thank you for being patient with the romance. It's kinda slow in this story lol