Wonwoo was tired. Sena’s dorm was at least 10 minutes walking distance away, and she had long passed out and so he had no choice but to carry her. He would have gotten a taxi, but that was expensive and he was on student loan. He took a rest on a random street bench, laying her across the bench with her head on his lap.

He huffed in frustration when he remembered the interaction he had with Mingyu. He really could not stop thinking about it. Finally, he got to talk to the person he was secretly attracted to, and he totally blew it.

Maybe I should just give up on love, Wonwoo thought. He found himself wishing that he wasn’t gay. Life would have been so much easier, and his interaction with Mingyu would not have bothered him so much.

For a moment, he reflected on his life. It’s been pretty lonely. Being gay and relatively shy are two characteristics that did not really mesh well together in the end. It meant being forever alone.

He sighed. He tired to imagine his life now had he actually been attracted to girls. He was popular with them; it was clear. He was often asked out by girls, much to Seokmin’s dismay back in high school.

Had Wonwoo not been gay, he would have probably had a girlfriend. He would have had a life. He would not have felt so lonely as he often did.

He let out a deep breath, and found himself looking at Sena’s face in his lap. He brushed the strands of hair from her face and looked at her as she slept peacefully on his lap. She was awfully pretty; he would not deny it. She had beautifully shaped eyes, delicate facial features, and very soft hair. He tried to imagine himself attracted to her the way that men conventionally would be attracted to pretty girls. However, it felt so wrong on many levels. He shook the thought away as soon as it came.

“I’m glad I found you,” Wonwoo heard a familiar voice say. Wonwoo’s eyes widened as he turned to find Mingyu.

“Oh, hi,” Wonwoo stumbled, surprised to Mingyu again so soon.

“I felt bad for leaving you,” Mingyu said, “I’ll help you for the rest of the way, if you want.”

“He dorm is only ten minutes away,” Wonwoo responded quickly, “I can manage, but thanks.”

“She rejected me, by the way. In case you were curious,” Mingyu told Wonwoo, referring to Jin.

Wonwoo kind of expected it, but nonetheless, he could not help but feel relieved. “Oh. Sorry about that.”

Mingyu looked a little sad about it, but not distraught. “It’s okay,” he responded.

“You’re a good-looking guy,” Wonwoo admitted in an attempt to comfort him. “You’ll find some girl eventually.”

“I don’t want just some girl,” responded Mingyu frustrated. “I want her interesting. I want her pure. I want her virtuous. I don’t want someone who would go to a party and dance with ten guys and pass out from alcohol poisoning.” Mingyu glanced at Sena.

Wonwoo’s eyes widened in surprise. He did not expect something like that to come from the ever-so-laudable and kind Mingyu’s mouth.

That glorious image that Wonwoo had of Mingyu suddenly dissipated. In the time it took for Mingyu to say what he had just said, many things that Wonwoo thought he liked about Mingyu no longer held true. Mingyu was not all that kind and non-judgmental at all.

“I’m sorry,” Wonwoo crossed his arms across his chest and glared at Mingyu, “if you’re throwing shade at Sena right now, then I’ll have you know, she’s my friend.”

Mingyu looked startled, “I didn’t mean that,” he quickly held up his hands and denied it.

“Whatever you meant,” Wonwoo responded with a frown, “I don’t agree with you. A woman is not some thing whose value is reduced if she dances with 10 guys, or if she drinks a lot or parties. A woman is not any less ‘pure’ if she does those things. I’m sorry, but I hate these puritan ideas about women. They’re degrading.”

Mingyu looked startled by all the liberalism that Wonwoo was throwing his way. He blinked a few times before saying, “sorry if I offended you.”

Wonwoo calmed down. He realized that just how much looks could be deceiving. He also felt kind of bad. Clearly, Mingyu was quite conservative in his ideals, and if Wonwoo had learned anything throughout his life as a gay person, it was that such conservatives didn’t really know any better.

“And I’m sorry if I was too hostile,” Wonwoo added. He probably was. He has a tendency to be steadfast in his beliefs, so much so that anything that defies those beliefs is uncontrovertibly wrong to him. It’s the reason he’s so unreceptive to religion in general, as religion tends to uphold conservative values like defining the purity or women or homophobia.

Mingyu nodded to accept the apology. “Are you sure you don’t want any help carrying Sena back?” Mingyu asked afterwards.

“No thank you,” Wonwoo responded affirmatively. The last thing he wanted was to prolong the tense atmosphere that now existed between them.

Mingyu smiled politely and bowed before turning back to walk home.

Wonwoo watched Mingyu’s back, suddenly feeling bad for the way he spoke to him. If he had screwed up the first time he spoke to Mingyu, he really screwed up this time.

Wonwoo then realized how Mingyu’s puritanism did not make Wonwoo like him any less.

I still like him, Wonwoo thought, a sense of dread engulfing him. Great, I like a guy who’s conservative and therefore probably hates gay people. Whoopee.

He knew he screwed up this time. Any miniscule chance that Wonwoo thought he might have had before has now been completely obliterated.

Oh well, Wonwoo thought, surprisingly accepting it quickly. I’ll just have to move on and find hope in someone else. Seokmin’s Chinese roommate’s kinda cute.

He carried Sena and started walking towards her residence building again. As he walked, he couldn’t help but wish he could go back in time and relive his moments with Mingyu again.

A/N: Just when you guys thought I was on the verge of making meanie happen, I create this ideological clash between them :P

Aren’t you curious as to how I’m gonna make a conservative boy gay though? :)