It has been just a day since amber had left korea. Just a date yet it felt like a year already. I can't take it anymore. Yes she managed to call me. Skype with me and instant text me as much as possible but what can words do? I need her presence here to be beside me. I need to touch her to be able to feel her kisses and her hugs. 

I still had to continue my hectic work and this isn't getting to anywhere. At first I thought of using work to be able to distract myself from missing amber too much. But no it isn't working. Day by day have passed but I'm just like a robot without any feelings or emotion for my work. I'm just there present but my heart and soul seems to be far away. I've to force myself to smile in front of the cameras for our live performances. As for interviews, I'm glad my members helped me. I wasn't focusing on any questions the mc asked. All the replies were all on the behalf of my members helping me. Aft schedules, I will just stay in the dorm, in my room and not come out. 

Every night I had to cry till my tears stop flowing till I'm tired to be able to sleep for a few hours. 

I wasn't eating properly. During breaks for schedules  my members would always try to force me to eat but no I can't. I can't seems to do anything not even like basic things of just eating and drinking. My managers often buy my favourite stuffs like mangoes and meat but I just can't take interest in it. I rejected everything that was given to me. 

Yes amber would still always squeeze some time for me to contact me. Asking if I'm alright. I've to lie to her and convince that I'm fine without her but the truth is I'm on the verge of breaking down. 

I was even much colder than my usual ice princess mood all the time. Not interested in having any conversations with anyone. 

During our dance practices I would always practice for long hours without having any breaks. I just want to waste all of my energy so that I would be too tired to think of anything. I was wrong. Physically I'm tired but my mind was still filled with amber leaving. Recently, my body seems to be so weak that i start to feel dizzy. All my movements became slower than usual. 

Sigh it was just four months since amber left. She was busy with her therapies and some light dance practices. She even took up extra song composing classes. She became really busy. That our contact time became lesser compared to the first month of her leaving.

"Am, I really miss you anot. I can't stop thinking about you."

just for real.

During one of my mr boogie performance, I fainted in the midst of the performance. That everything need to stop. My members carried me down the stage and sent me to the hospital. I cried and cried in the hospital, screaming for amber, rejecting all the medicine for me. It got worst till the doctors and nurses had no choice that they had to inject me to put me to sleep. Jessica unnie has always been by my side throughout my stay in the hospital. Sometimes her girlfriend yuri unnie took some time off to accompany me too. 

Jessica POV 

My sister isn't doing fine at all. She's like a zombie. No feelings no emotions. There's like nothing in her. Her soul and mind seems to be gone. I know it's all because of amber. I always thought my sister has always been very  independent but no I was wrong. She's not strong at all. She has been living that strong and happy all because of one person, amber. I'm getting really worried for my sis since her health is dropping. Why is a teenager becoming like this? All because of love. I think I really need to tell amber what's going on. Krystal stopped all her members and our family members to not tell anything to amber. She doesn't want her to worry but the point is if this continues in the end amber would even be more worried for her. I called up amber and told her everything that krystal had gone through.