Double Update! Woohoo! Go back one chapter, if you haven't read it yet!

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No One's POV

It’s already been two days since they’ve returned to South Korea. They arrived back in Seoul Monday night, and even if her parents gave her permission to stay home on Tuesday, Soyoung insisted on going back to school.

She felt missing too much wouldn’t be good, especially when her music classes seemed to be traveling fast.

Luckily, a friend in her music classes told her that they had no homework, whatsoever, since her absence. Soyoung was only grateful that she didn’t miss any assignments.

She went by the food court and ordered a strawberry smoothie before seating herself down at a table. Soyoung took out her music theory textbook and open up to the page she was assigned to read for homework that day. Even though she was reading, she couldn’t grasp onto the words that were passing right by her eyes. Even though she was reading, her mind wasn’t listening to the words it was hearing. Her mind was on something else. On someone else.

“Are you trying to hide from me?” A voice popped up from her left.

Soyoung glanced up as Baekhyun sat in the unoccupied eat across from her. With a grin, he took out his music theory book as well.

Soyoung couldn’t help but light a smile. “So you found me,” she joked. Then she remembered something. Her smile slowly left her face as she stared at the clueless man in front of her. He knew nothing. He didn’t know anything at all, and the fact that he didn’t know pained her, because he deserved to know it. He deserved to, but he didn’t know it. When Baekhyun lifted his head, Soyoung forced on a smile, “Ah, do you want a drink? I can go buy you one—”

“It’s fine,” he smiled as he turned to his assigned page. “I’m not thirsty anyways. So, did your parents force you to come, or did you just choose to?”

“There’s nothing to do at home even if I stay,” Soyoung smiled as she glanced down at her textbook.

Baekhyun stared at her with a slight grin on his face. “You know, Luhan came to school too, even though his parents let him stay. He said the exact same thing you did.”

Upon hearing the said male’s name, Soyoung froze.

Baekhyun could see her body stilled, and he knew why.

“Luhan told me that you haven’t spoken to him since the event’s night when he dropped you off there,” Baekhyun popped the question. He was meant to ask it anyways. “Are you… perhaps, avoiding him?”

“I’m not avoiding him,” she replied without looking up at him. She played natural and flipped the page. “I just haven’t seen him since then. We were all too tired on the plane, so we didn’t talk there, and when I got home, I just slept again.”

Baekhyun stared at the female in front of him, his eyes scruntizing her. He couldn’t seem to take her seriously. He couldn’t believe her.

“Okay then,” he nodded slowly. “So are you doing anything after your classes today?”

Soyoung shook her head, “I’m not. I’m probably just going to go home and laze around.”

“Then go out with me,” Baekhyun offered, earning an odd glance from her. He chuckled, “I have nothing to do either, so let’s go out for some fresh air instead of lazing around. I was thinking of going to Myeongdong or something. I haven’t been there since forever. Want to go with me?”

“Myeongdong?” The offer was more than enough for her to agree too. Soyoung, like him, hadn’t been to the place since forever as well. “Sure! I’d love to go! I miss shopping.” She faked a cry before breaking into laughter with the guy. “What time are you planning to go at though?”

“Around 5PM?” Baekhyun nodded, “Yeah, around there. How about we meet up at the plaza of Cheonggye Park?”

Soyoung nodded with a smile, “Okay, I’ll meet you there at 5 then.”

 

 

By the time classes ended, Soyoung headed home. She searched for clothes throughout her closet. It wasn’t a date, nor was she trying to look nice for Baekhyun, but Soyoung felt she should wear something nice for herself, since it’s been such a long time that she had gone to Myeongdong.

“What should I wear?” she muttered to herself, tapping her chin as she stared her closet of clothes. “It’s not too hot outside, and it’s pretty windy, so should I wear a long sleeve shirt?”

She stared at her wardrobe and sighed. How can choosing clothes to wear be so hard? Mad that she was being difficult about such a stupid situation, Soyoung grabbed her gray sweatpants and put it on. She grabbed her sweatshirt and put it over her tank top before tying her hair up into a messy bun.

She looked like she was out for a jog, but who cares? It wasn’t like she was trying to impress anyone. She shouldn’t care. After all, she had a feeling she would just end up at the food court.

She sighed, quite contented that she made up her mind in such an unmannerly way. Grabbing her purse, she headed out the door to see Luhan come out from his house at the exact same time.

Eyes wide, she quickly turned back and went inside then house, closing it before he could turn around. She peeked through the window. Thankfully, Luhan headed to his car and drove away. That meant he didn’t suspect anything.

Soyoung sighed. Just why was she avoiding him? Though she may be asking, she knew the answer quite well. She frowned slightly, opening the door back up and closing it shut before heading to the bus station.

 

 

 

When she reached the park, Soyoung quickly headed to plaza. She was running fifteen minutes late because there was a delay earlier for the bus line. Not only that, but traffic was also jammed, which caused her to be late.

“Hopefully he’s still waiting for me,” Soyoung hoped as she ran towards the plaza.

The park was filled with people, which wasn’t surprisingly at all. The only thing that did bother her was the fact that she was late and she saw Baekhyun nowhere in sight.

Her frown appeared. *Just where is he in this crowd?* She asked herself, taking out herself.

Just as Soyoung was going to call Baekhyun, from not too far away, she heard a familiar voice.

“Yah, Byun Baekhyun! You’re fifteen minutes late! Where the heck are you?!”

Soyoung stopped immediately and turned to her left, where the voice came from.

From there, she spotted one impatient Luhan not too far from her, speaking into the phone.

“What?” Luhan’s face was now filled with confusion. “What are you talking about? Soyoung? Why are you bringing her up—”

And he stopped when he turned and saw the said female looking over at him.

Soyoung realized her stare was too long, and that he had seen her. She averted eyes and faced forward.

“I’ll call you back,” she heard Luhan say before seeing him approach her from the corner of her eyes.

Soyoung swallowed before taking off. She walked away from Luhan. She didn’t want to speak to him. She didn’t want him to see her, but it was too late. He already had, and the fact that Luhan was yelling at Baekhyun earlier, she knew this was a set up by the sly guy. How dare he—

Luhan caught Soyoung’s arm and made her face him.

“What are you doing here?” Luhan asked her.

Soyoung didn’t dare look up at him and instead pulled away. Without giving him an answer, she tried fleeing him again, but was only pulled back.

“Kim Soyoung!” Luhan sternly called her name.

Soyoung stopped trying and sighed. The way he had called her name. It made her weak, yet, it drove her crazy as well. Just why. Why did he have to call her name as if he was yearning for her? Why did he have to call out her name and confuse her?

“Look at me,” his tone changed drastically. It was much softer now, and it was not, at all, a command.

With a sigh, she looked up at his towering figure, only to be met with sadden eyes.

“Did Baekhyun call you here too?” He questioned, and Soyoung could clearly see that it wasn’t the question he had wanted to ask.

Soyoung subtly nodded. *More like he planned on going to Myeongdong with me, but seems like he won’t be after all. That sly little snake.* “… We were planning to go around Myeongdong, but I guess that won’t be happening anymore,” she avoided Luhan’s eyes once more.

“Why are you doing that?” Luhan asked, earning her attention. Without having to ask him what he had meant, Soyoung understood him perfectly. It was even a surprise to her that he noticed. “You keep on avoiding me.”

“I have never done that,” she denied and pulled away from his grasp. “Since he’s not coming anymore, I’ll go home. I just remembered on my way here that I actually have homework I have to finish up—”

And before she could finish speaking her thoughts, she was attacked with a tight hug.

“Please don’t lie to me,” Luhan’s voice was weak. It was a bare whisper, and the way he had said it made Soyoung feel slightly bad. “Please don’t avoid me anymore. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

Then it got her thinking.

Why was he apologizing? What had he done wrong that he was apologizing for?

It was supposed to be Soyoung who needed to apologize for avoiding him. It was supposed to be Soyoung who needed to apologize for lying to him.

So why was he saying sorry? And especially, why was he acting this way?

“Luhan—”

“If you’re lying to me to avoid me, please don’t do that,” he pleaded, his embrace not loosening. “If you’re avoiding me because of the event on Sunday, then please don’t do that. If you need to say something to me, then just say it. Just tell me. I promise I won’t get mad. I promise I won’t go off on you. I promise, Soyoung.”

Soyoung pursed her lips. She shouldn’t be thinking of it this moment when he was be sincere with her in this way, but he was giving her an opportunity to say something. She shouldn’t say it, but she couldn’t help it.

She swallowed hard and began the difficult question. “Yu Xin Lei…”

And just by hearing that name, Soyoung could feel his body tense as his hold loosened.

“Who was she to you?” she asked. She knew better than to open up old wounds that were probably not completely healed, but when it was the reason why she couldn’t face him, what could she do?

Luhan slowly pulled back and looked into her eyes.

“Who was Yu Xin Lei to you, Luhan?” Soyoung questioned, her voice broken.

She didn’t know why she was tearing up.

Scratch that.

She knew why she was tearing, but she didn’t know why she should be when she wasn’t in the right place to. And even the answer to her question, she knew. She knew very well.

She could see Luhan hesitating to answer, mostly because he would have never expected to hear her name ever again, especially from someone who didn’t even know her.

“Soyoung…” His eyes were distant now, and that was the exact reason why Soyoung had avoided him the first place. She was afraid of this happening. If she saw his face, she would be reminded of what she was told. If she were to ask him, she was afraid that he would distance himself from her. She didn’t want to happen in the first place, so she had avoided him. So much for avoiding though.

Unknowingly, tears escaped her eyes, and she became a crying mess. “How can you just act like it was nothing?!” she shouted at him, covering her crying face with her hands. She breathed heavily, due to her threatening tears. “How can you act so calm about it when you still grieve about her? Why do you do that alone? Why do you force yourself to go though it alone, you dummy?!”

She threw weak fists at his chest as he was taking in the situation, and when he did, his eyes were brimmed with tears as well.

“How can you just act like it never happened and leave them all clueless,” she cried helplessly, letting her hands fall helplessly to her side. “You think it’ll help them if you leave them out like that? She was their friend too! They cherished just as much as you cherished her. They cared for her like you did. How can you just… How can you just do that to them and go through the pain alone? You and Kris! How could you guys do that?!”

Luhan forced his tears from falling and sighed deeply, hesitating to grab her hands. The only thing that was going through his mind was: She knows. She knows. She knows.

He took her hands and pulled her in for another embrace, and this time, it was one that he needed. Not like the one from earlier to assure that Soyoung was really in front of him. This embrace was the embrace that a friend needed. An embrace that was given to friends who needed a shoulder to lean on.

“You obviously miss her,” Soyoung wept, throwing her arms around him, her face in his chest. At this rate, she didn’t care if her tears wetted his shirt. At this rate, she didn’t care about anything anymore. All she cared about was the poor 10 young men who had no clue about what had happened to their longtime friend, Yu Xin Lei, who had cut contact with them for the past 3 years. All she cared about was the poor young woman by the name of Yu Xin Lei, who had a kind heart to the 12 young men that had entered Soyoung’s life not too long ago. “You miss her so much, you stupid boy, yet you hide it like you don’t know anything.”

Luhan remained silent and listened to Soyoung’s cries. He knew she was right.

He was a stupid boy. He was just a stupid boy, who hid it, just like she said. Luhan was just a stupid boy who could do nothing but miss and miss.

*Kris told her… He told her.* Luhan thought solemnly.

He held her lose and patted her back ever so slowly. He was hurt, he can’t lie about that. He was hurt, and the pain still lingered on till today, but that didn’t mean he was crying. He couldn’t cry. Not in front of Soyoung, he couldn’t cry.

“It’s not even my business,” she cried weakly, holding onto him for dear life. “It’s not even my business, but it hurts so much. It hurts so much that you’re going through this alone. It hurts so much that you and Kris are going through this alone while the others have no idea. They don’t have a clue about it.”

A soft, yet sorrowful smile played on Luhan’s lips. Even though he was hurt still, even  though the pain still remained because of the woman named Yu Xin Lei, at least he wasn’t going through it alone. At least not anymore. *Because you’re here with me. It’s not even your business, but you, here, telling me this is already enough for me to know that I’m no longer alone. I’m sorry that he told you and now you’re hurting with us. I’m sorry, Soyoung… And Thank you for being here with me.*

 

|| The ride back to the hotel was quiet, and Soyoung couldn’t help but continuously glance over at Kris when he was driving. Even though her mind had drifted away from Luhan, Kris was another problem added to her plate, and even though she could toss the plate aside, she found no heart to do so. She couldn’t.

When they reached the hotel, after fifteen minutes of sitting in the car quietly with Kris driving, he told her to go to her room first, as he stated that he needed to go park. She obliged without saying much.

After heading up to her room Soyoung changed and wiped off her make up. It felt much better, seeing herself in her natural skin. Her mind flitted over to Kris once more. A frown played on her lips.

Maybe that was why he was always so quiet. Breaking up with someone you love, it must’ve been hard for Kris.

Just at the thought, she heard someone known on her room door. Soyoung grabbed a small towel and wiped her face before heading to the door and opening it.

Although she was surprised to see Kris in front of her door, she didn’t show such a reaction.

“Want to go out with me for a coffee drink?” Kris asked.

She’d be lying if hearing the offer didn’t surprise her, but she didn’t reject either ways. It was the first time Kris had asked her, and it’d be a waste to reject his offer.

 

The two headed out to the closest coffee shop before eating themselves by a window seat. He seated himself across the female, who was fidgeting with her fingers.

“Do I scare you?” Kris found himself asking.

Soyoung shook her head with a laugh, “No, you don’t…”

And again, it became quiet.

Kris couldn’t help but mentally laugh. If she wasn’t scared of him then she sure found him intimidating. This, he knew for sure.

“Ask away,” Kris spoke, earning a puzzled expression from the female. “Earlier in the car, you seem like you had things to ask me. I don’t think you’d continuously glance over at me just to look at me.”

“Oh,” she slightly tinted red. She got caught. Oops.

“Just ask what you want to ask. I’ll answer you honestly,” Kris offered. “The guys seemed to have gotten sincerely close to you. I think it’s only right if I do so as well.”

“You want to get close to me?” Soyoung found herself asking.

The male shrugged slightly, “It doesn’t hurt to get close to someone Luhan trusts.”

“Luhan trusts me?” her eyes bulged out. “Really?”

Kris chuckled at her reaction but nodded, “Yeah. He may be a jerk and all, but I know he trusts you. He sees you as a friend. Luhan doesn’t often make friends. He’s more of a closed person and often refuses others to get too close to him. He only befriends people he can trust, and because you’re a friend of his, not to mention the fact that your parents are close, he trusts you.”

It dawned on her that the two must be very close, because Kris knew Luhan so well. From this, Soyoung knew that Kris not only know Luhan well, but he must know the others well, just as well.

“Oh…” She slowly nodded. How was she to react to that?

“So, what was it that you wanted to ask?” Kris continued on.

Questions immediately formed in Soyoung’s mind, but she refused to ask, mainly because it wasn’t’ her business and she shouldn’t interfere. If Baekhyun and the others didn’t want to ask because they were afraid of opening wounds, Soyoung shouldn’t ask either.

“It’s nothing, really,” Soyoung faked a small smile. She couldn’t ask him. He might hurt, and he might distance himself from her.

“Your eyes says otherwise,” he observed her.

With his intimate eyes on her, Soyoung couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable. It was as if he was dying for her to ask the questions. She really did appreciate that he wanted to get close to her, just like his friends, but there were other methods they could use, couldn’t they? He was going the dangerous way.

“I won’t harm you if you ask something personal,” Kris broke into a grin. “I promise I won’t get mad.”

*Of course you won’t. You probably won’t get mad, but wouldn’t you get sad?* She thought to herself.

“Kim Soyoung,” he called her name softly, “If you don’t ask me, I promise to never become your friend and ignore you at all costs.”

“Whoa, all because I didn’t ask you questions?” her eyes widened.

Kris laughed, “No, because you won’t tell me what’s on your mind.”

His words caused her to retract a surprised reaction and she sighed softly. “It’s because I’m afraid you’ll feel uncomfortable,” she muttered, looking down before taking her hot coffee and carefully sipping on it. She glanced up, seeing the serious look in his eyes. She knew he was serious. *He really wants me to ask?... He doesn’t know that the question I want to ask about is his ex though.* Soyoung sighed and set her coffee down. “You really promise that you won’t get mad? I can’t guarantee that the question I want to ask won’t bother you.”

“People once asked before fi I was a ,” Kris blurted, earning Soyoung’s owl eyes. He laughed, “Even so, I answered them honestly. IT’s awkward, but I swear, I won’t be mad at you. It’s me offering you to ask me anyways. If anything goes wrong, it’ll be my fault, not yours.”

Soyoung bit her lower lip, troubled. To ask, or not to ask, was the ultimate problem here.

“Well… I was just… I was just wondering about your ex-girlfriend…” Soyoung trailed off. She glanced at Kris to see if he had any odd reaction.

Surprisingly, he seemed calm about it. If she was correct, s gentle smile even appeared on his face.

“Which one?” Kris asked, though he already knew which specific ex-girlfriend Soyoung wanted to talk about.

“Yu… Xin Lei.” Soyoung already felt bad enough by mentioning her name. Maybe it was better if she just stopped there.

Kris nodded, “Okay. Ask away.”

“Really?” She really didn’t expect him to carry on with it. In fact, she had expected him to cut it off short. “Are you sure? If it bothers you then I won’t ask.”

“It doesn’t bother me,” he assured her with a smile.

“Okay… Then, my question I wanted to ask is… Are you over her?” she asked cautiously. “Like, do you still love her?”

Kris slightly smiled and nodded, “I’m over her… But do I still love her? It depends. What kind of love do you mean?”

Soyoung shifted in her seat uncomfortably. What kind of love did he mean?

Kris chuckled at her reaction, “I’m just joking with you.” He contained his facial expression once again before answering honestly. “Yeah, I still love her… A lot, but you know, there are some people you have to learn how to live without. I guess, for all of us, she became one of those people.”

Listening to his words saddened her. The way he had said those words, Soyoung could tell he really does love her. It only makes sense why he pushed girls away like Baekhyun said.

“Did she not love you back?” Soyoung continued with her questions. “Why did she just break up with you like that? You love her so much…”

Kris slightly laughed, a dry one that is. “Did Baekhyun tell you that she broke up with me?” He shook his head. “I was the one who broke up with Xin Lei.”

*What? He broke up with her? But why? You love her so much!* Soyoung wanted to shout.

“I know it sounds absurd,” Kris nodded, “But it’s true. There are times when I regret doing so, but I know made the right decision. She wasn’t comfortable with my status… I didn’t want to drag her into a life that would make her uncomfortable, so I decided to end it. Moreover than that, Xin Lei wasn’t fond of the words Yun Yi often hurt her with. I guess, in a way, you can say I ended our relationship because I didn’t want to hurt her.”

Seeing her sad eyes, Kris chuckled, “Don’t pity me when I did the right decision. If you pity me, I’m going to start thinking I did wrong.”

She averted with a slight pout and looked down at her coffee.

It was quiet between them two before Kris began speaking, much more soft than before.

“In the relationship, she wasn’t the only one hurting. I was… hurting too.”

Soyoung looked at him in sorrow. It was the first time seeing Kris so broken hearted. He looked so fragile and weak. It was the first time seeing him like this, and it made her feel ashamed for bringing him to his past.

“Often seeing her hurt by Yun Yi’s words, I couldn’t help but hate Yun Yi for always hurting her every chance she got,” Kris continued, looking down at his cup of coffee. “To the person I love, how can someone I cherish hurt her so much. She was kind hearted. She had never hurt anyone on purpose. She did all that she could to keep the people around her happy, so why was it that she had to go through pain that someone close to me put her in. I used to think like this a lot back then. That’s why, even still today, I can’t forgive what Yun Yi has done… But I can only keep her close to me, because she’s still my cousin. She’s still someone special to me.”

He was a softie. By the way he had spoken his words, Soyoung knew he had a soft heart. So this was why he had a friendly hate relationship with Yun Yi. He loves her a lot, like a little sister. Despite the pain she put his lover through, he still loves her.

Soyoung gave him an encouraging smile. “Tell me about Xin Lei. She sounds like a great person.”

Kris slightly grinned. “You’re right. She really was a great person. We met because of her, being the great person she was. I met her at a volunteer service. The guys and I were passing by on our way to the park, and we happened to pass her and her volunteer group. That’s where I first met her. She really is a great person. Every one of us cherished her. She brought a lot of happiness to us, and she made things enjoyable…”

“It must’ve been hard to let go of someone so great,” she sympathized. If it was Soyoung herself, she didn’t think she would’ve been able to let go of such a beautiful person.

“To tell the truth, letting her go on that day, even though it was hard to do, I prepared everything a while ago. I did break up with her because I didn’t want her hurt anymore, but there was a more reasonable reason to why I did break up with her.” Kris paused and exhaled deeply before continuing. “It’s for my own selfishness… I broke up with her, because I didn’t want to force someone who didn’t feel the same way about me to stay with me.”

“Wait, what?” Had she heard right? Xin Lei didn’t feel the same about Kris? No, that can’t have been what she had heard. “What do you mean?”

“The person Xin Lei liked wasn’t me,” Kris masked on a smile. “She didn’t like me, so I didn’t want to hold her back. Xin Lei… She liked Luhan.”

Soyoung furrowed her brows. Kris was lying, right? There was just no way she could have liked Luhan. There was just no way…

“I know it’s hard to believe, but it’s true,” Kris nodded slightly.

“Baekhyun never told me about that.” Soyoung took in a sharp breath.

Kris smiled a lonely smile. “The guys don’t know about it. If they did, things would have been complicated. At that, many of them were too young. They wouldn’t have understood the things that were going on at that time, so if I were to tell them that the reason we broke up was because she liked Luhan, not me… The guys would have blamed Luhan and marked him as an outcast. I didn’t want that to happen, so I only told them that we decided to stop our relationship.”

“For how long… did you know that she liked him?”

“Xin Lei and I dated for two years… and I knew about her feelings for Luhan six months before our break up. Well, instead of finding out, Xin Lei came out to me about it.” Kris sighed. “Even if I did feel betrayed by her, I still couldn’t let her go. For the next six months, I couldn’t say anything to her about it. I acted as if I was blind and deaf about the situation and selfishly kept her next to me, but when I realized how unhappy she was being with me, I knew I had to let her go, so I broke it with her… Yun Yi about it all along, that was why she continued to hate Xin Lei.”

“Yun Yi knew?” Hearing so much from Kris was very comforting, but at the same time, she felt bad for hearing such things from him. The painful past of his. “So she didn’t torture Xin Lei because she wanted attention… That’s another Baekhyun and the rest misunderstood.”

Kris nodded, “Yeah, sadly, they did… Yun Yi rather they not know her true intentions though, so the dislikes the guys give her, she goes through it alone. It’s why I can’t hate her for it. She was protecting me all along by trying to get rid of the girl who deceived me... Even so, no one else knows, except for me and Luhan.”

At the mention of Luhan’s name, Soyoung’s head shot up. “You mean Luhan knew too?”

A slow nod was given by the male along with a sad smile. “He found out the hard way, actually… The way Luhan found about Xin Lei’s feelings for him, no one would want to find out the same way he did.”

“How did he find out about her feelings for him?” Soyoung couldn’t help but wonder. How had Luhan felt for her?

Kris pursed his lips and replied quietly, “Through a letter… He actually found out two month after our break up, so he was really surprise to even get something from Xin Lei, since she stopped all contact with the guys. During this time, Luhan was in the states for a soccer competition. Xin Lei decided to tell him.”

“What was his reaction to the letter? Did he ever write back to her?” Soyoung wondered quietly.

“Instead of writing back, Luhan stopped with his competition and flew back to China…” Kris trailed off and pursed his lips. He kept his head down, his gaze low.

Soyoung furrowed her brows and gazed at him intently before realization hit him. *Kris is… He’s crying…*

Kris cleared his throat and continued, “The main priority of the letter was to tell Luhan about Xin Lei’s feelings, but there was a deeply written sentence in there… To be truthful, I was the one who urged her to write that letter. After our break up, no one could reach out to Xin Lei. It was as if her existence on earth was wiped away. The guys mourned over it often, because she left them without a good bye… A month after our break up, Xin Lei contacted me. She only contacted me, and asked that I don’t tell the others about it, so I never told them. At first, I thought she had contacted me because maybe she missed me. Maybe she missed the guys… But I was wrong.”

Kris took a few seconds to retain himself and his tears from falling. He swallowed, “I shortly found out that she had cancer… And that she wasn’t doing too well. She contacted me because she was afraid she wouldn’t get a chance to say good bye if she were to leave earth… It was selfish of me, but I made her write her feelings onto paper and send it to Luhan. I kept her with me for two whole years. I didn’t find it fair that I kept her prisoned with me for two years when she could have spent her happiness with him, so I made her write it… and I told her to let him know what she was going through. She didn’t want the guys to know, but I made sure Luhan knew, because he was the person she truly liked… A few days after Luhan returned and spent his time with her… Xin Lei left us… To a better place… The two of us attended her funeral secretly without the others knowing. We’re such horrible friends to keep such a thing away from them, but we were afraid that if they knew, they’d hate us… More than that… We were afraid that they would hate themselves for not realizing things earlier. For not trying to reach her earlier. We were afraid that they would attack themselves, so we promised to keep things to ourselves.”

He looked down, his tears streaming down, and Soyoung couldn’t help but tear up as well.

Kris lived a life of tragic. The person he truly loved didn’t feel the same way about him, and the person loved his best friend. Even so, he wasn’t angry at either of the two, and if things couldn’t get any worse, he had to go through the pain of living without the person he truly loved.

Soyoung cried quietly as no words could leave her lips. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know if it was right for her to comfort someone who went through so much. She didn’t think it was fair if she were to comfort him, not knowing how immense the pain was for him. For her, she lived a life of bliss. She had never experienced such hurtful pain; it wasn’t right for her to comfort him in anyway.

Kris brought his hands up to his face and covered it, his head still down low. “I’m sorry,” he apologized with a weak voice as he quickly wiped his tear stained face. He grabbed some napkin off of the table and wiped them away. He took in a sharp breath and cleared his throat, yet still not meeting Soyoung’s eyes. “You didn’t even ask me about the details.”

She only shook her head as she hid her face by keeping her head low. *Don’t apologize. You don’t need to apologize for anything.* Even so, she couldn’t say the words she wanted to say. Even though it had nothing to do with her, Soyoung was deeply hurt. She could only imagine the pain they were going through.

“This… I’ve never told anyone before… Luhan and I never spoke about it. We just kept it to ourselves,” Kris tightened his jaw. He didn’t want to appear weak, even though he may have already done so. “Even though Luhan didn’t return the feelings, he still saw her as a best friend. They were practically best friends. They were really close. Even though it may hurt at times to think about her, she was just someone I once loved. Even though she was the person I love, I was never the closest person to her… Luhan had always been the closest person to her.”

Soyoung sniffed and gazed at Kris with teary eyes. The hurt in his eyes were evident, but even so, there was no hatred in it. No hatred for his best friend who seemed to have captured the person he love’s heart.  She looked down once again and wiped her tears. She didn’t like crying in front of people, but right now, she felt it didn’t matter whether it was in front of someone or not.

“Even though I cherished her, Luhan did that more than me,” Kris pursed his kips and wiped his eyes, averting eyes. “He cherished her a lot. As much as she was a blessing to everyone’s life, to Luhan, she brightened his life more than anyone could… Luhan hurted more than I did. Even though I loved her, Luhan loved her more. To him, she was like the sister he never had. He really did cherish her… He was in more pain than I was… Even so, he was stronger than I was. He masked it much better than I did. Like how I’m telling you my suffocation right now, Luhan had never done that. He always kept everything to himself… When we both agreed that we wouldn’t tell the others, he told me that if I needed someone to lean on, I could go to him. I never got the chance to tell him those words myself, that if he needed someone, I would be there for him. He was there for me, but like I wanted to, I couldn’t be there for him… He had no one.”

Soyoung fought back the remaining tears and sniffled. She took a deep breath and kept her gaze low. It was just so hard to say something.

“That’s why I’m thankful that you’re here,” Kris sounded softly. “He has you now… He’s leaning on you. It may seem like he’s not, with his personality, but he really is. Letting you into his life. Letting you be around him. Letting you say things to him whether he likes it or not. He’s showing that you’re someone he can lean on and that he trusts.”

She slowly met his warm gaze and his soft smile.

“Yo may not be his Xin Lei… But you’re his Soyoung. I know how Luhan may just be another guy in your life, but to him, you’re someone special. He’d go crazy without you.” Kris gave a warm, yet, defeated smile. “When he lost Xin Lei, even though he didn’t show it, he was going crazy… If he loses you too… He won’t be able to live. Kim Soyoung, please help him fix his wings.”||

 

Soyoung clung onto Luhan, her tears still rolling as she remembered that night. Everything Kris had told her still pained her so much.

She was upset with Luhan. Why did he choose to hurt alone? Why did he choose the path to be alone?

But she knew better than to ask those questions anymore.

Soyoung cried and hid her face in Luhan’s chest. *I don’t want him to be alone anymore. I’ll be his Kim Soyoung. I’ll fix his wings, Yu Xin Lei.*

 

 

---

 

 

Author's Note♥:

I'm sorry! It sounds so angsty & Sad & I didn't warn you guys! Things are getting confusing, no? Sorry if it is. I will clear things up, Promise. So there you go. Part of Luhan's past. Along With Kris.... With The So-called Best friend&Love, Yu Xin Lei. I know there will be confusion and questions asked about Yun Yi, or probably somethings about past chapters, but I will clear that up in the next few chapters. Oho! Sly Baekhyun though! Tricking them into meeting up!

By the way, JULY 4TH! Independence day! Fireworks Day! ♥ Hope you guys had a blast today! :)

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