CHAPTER 50: I LOVE YOU

 

My eyes dilated and I felt my insides flickered with so much happiness. That was the most relieving and joyous moment I’ve ever had…more than what I’ve felt when I found my sister. Frozen in his hug, I just can’t find my way to move or to unclasp from him. Reasons caused me this.

 

We may have been standing a meter from fire but I’ve never felt secured with his arms circling me. I felt like…with him, there’s nothing to be worried about. With him, I’m home. As much as I wanted us to be like this forever, I had to let go thinking he would misunderstand me. I lifted his hands for him to finally unclasp from me and I took the courage to face him.

 

When I looked at him, I felt the urge to cry again. It was not because I pity his bruised face filled with dried blood but instead…I was just too glad he’s here with me and still alive. Trusting my feels, I punched him on his chest, almost shedding tears.

 

CL: Punk!

Jiyong: Ya…a thank you would be enough….jeez

 

Cutting him off, I hugged him abruptly tighter than what he did.

 

CL: Damn Jiyong! Do you know how much I was worried?!

 

Then I started to cry as I utter words to him.

 

CL: Don’t ever kid around like that! Araseo?! Or I’ll really punch you harder!

Jiyong: CL….

CL: You could’ve left me with him! I’m the one he’s after!

Jiyong: But I can’t…

CL: You can’t always think you’re better now! What if you got burned there, huh?!

Jiyong: Look, I’m fine…

CL: Aniyo! I can never forgive myself! How can you be so selfless!

 

Jiyong then unclasped from my hug, held me by my shoulders and looked at me with his eyebrows scrunched. While I, went on to my crying. As much as I really wanted to stop it, I just can’t. I was too worried, can you even blame me?!

 

Jiyong: YA.

 

I didn’t answer and I bowed my head down, embarrassed of my messed up face.

 

I felt fingers wiping my tears. As I looked up, Jiyong was peeking through, trying to clear up my face with his bare hands.

 

Jiyong: I’m not happy seeing you cry.

 

I looked away as I brushed his hand away from my face.

 

CL: You don’t know how it feels to worry over….

 

He didn’t let me finish. Instead, he pulled me closer to him leaned his face towards me and that’s when I closed my eyes.

 

Then I felt a peck on my forehead. Surprised, I opened my eyes and my tears stopped from falling.

 

Jiyong: Believe me, CL…I’ve been worried all my life….all because of you.

 

Confused, I just stared at him. He sighed and bowed down his head a bit.

 

Jiyong: Chaerin-ah…there’s something I need to…

 

Just then, we were interrupted by little Seunghyun’s annoying voice. Jeez, talk about WRONG TIMING.

 

Seunghyun: Sajangnim! You’re in need in the prom!

CL: What??? I can’t go like this!

Seunghyun: But…Professor Sean and the whole faculty have been waiting! And….I told him…you were with me.

CL: AISH!!! Why would you even…?!

 

As I was about to spank him again, Jiyong put me into a stop.

 

Jiyong: Ya, CL. We should go.

CL: I’m not going like this!

 

Jiyong held both of my hands and made me face him.

 

Jiyong: Believe me; You’re beautiful even in ragged clothes.

 

Blushing, I looked away and saw Seunghyun smirking at me. Embarrassed, I spanked him real hard and we decided to set off and get some luck.

 

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We hurried ourselves towards the venue. As I checked the time, it’s just minutes away before the prom ends and I’m pretty sure they’re all waiting for me to deliver my speech now. Seriously, in a messed up face and dress like what I have now isn’t really the most stylish thing to pull off in your senior prom.

 

When we reached the back door, Seunghyun peeked through the inside and he told us that they were all left hanging waiting for me. Nervous now, I walked back and forth to calm myself down.

 

Jiyong: Hey, calm down..

CL: How can I?? I look like a mess! I’m sure Jinusean would nag at me in front of everybody!

Jiyong: Just do what you’re supposed to do.

CL: Easy for you to say, you’re not in my shoes.

 

Jiyong halted me from walking and said,

 

Jiyong: Do you know when I find you best?

 

I just looked at his face, distracted. He smiled and I melted.

 

Jiyong: You look absolutely at your best….when you’re just being yourself.

CL: Lies.

Jiyong: Hey, I’m serious here. Now…go, I’ll be watching you. Araseo?

 

He put on his last smile then left me bringing Seunghyun along with him. Keeping in mind what Jiyong said, I took a deep breath and focused on my speech. Just then, I heard the host calling my name, requesting me to finally show up. I sighed as I was looking at my torn sparkly dress turned greasy, my hair just flagged down and my face messed up with make-up and sweat. I took a deep breath as I took off my heels and went inside.

 

As soon as I showed up in the stage, everyone was shocked with my look. I saw and heard almost everyone gasping in their seats but I ignored them. I switched my attention to Professor Sean together with the whole faculty who are now standing up with their surprised faces. Not boosting my confidence, I looked for Jiyong and saw him at the center aisle. Finally contented where my eyes were locked, I grabbed the microphone and spoke.

 

Only looking at Jiyong who’s pretty much stuck with me too, I gulped down and followed what my heart tells me to do. I set aside my speech and started with a song…which made everyone silent.

 

“I've known you for so long you are a friend of mine 
But is this all we'd ever be? 
I've loved you ever since you are a friend of mine 
But hey, is this all we ever could be? 

You tell me things I've never known, I've shown you love you've never shown 
But then again, when you cry I'm always at your side 
You tell me 'bout the love you've had, I listen very eagerly 
But deep inside you'll never see this feeling of emptiness 
It makes me feel sad….
….But then again I'm glad”

 

CL: Please excuse my presence tonight, everyone…I know I’m an eyesore for you people who obviously put so much effort for your outfits and everything but I wouldn’t waste this opportunity to speak up my thoughts and just to let down Jinusean…uhm, I meant Professor Sean.

 

Professor Sean raised his brows but I ignored it. Oops. Despite it, I started reciting my speech anyway.

 

“All the years I have spent at campus, I have been treating school like a burden I must carry…a horrifying obligation elders put me up with…or simply a place like hell for a person like me who’s not even interested in taking teachers’ orders. I’ve been pain in the for those people who keep on pushing me to do the right thing….but I just ignored them like I didn’t care at all.”

 

Just then Yoona butted in.

 

Yoona: Look, we’re not here to hear your life’s story okay?

 

When I was about to answer back at her calmly, Jiyong did it for me.

 

Jiyong: Give her some respect Yoona, she’s trying to tell us something.

 

He smiled at me and that’s my cue for continuing.

 

“But I can’t stay a forever. I had my turning points which led me to new…discoveries, not at my surroundings but within me. I learned that I too, could change my ways before everything else is too late for me. And I couldn’t make it without certain people…people who didn’t lose their faith to me, those who believed in me more than I did in myself…..

 

…..Well…there’s this person, who once meant nothing to me, but means everything to me now. That person who kept nagging at me like there’s no more tomorrow before, but now…his voice is the only thing I treasure in every conversation we had. I thought it was just a weird feeling for me to get over with…but each day I prove myself wrong.”

 

I walked towards the edge of the stage and sat on it, leaving my lower limbs hanging just above the dance floor. The audience were still eager to listen to me so I continued.

 

“He showed me what it’s like to have the things I’ve never had. To enjoy the things I never was happy about and to appreciate things I never paid attention to. And to tell you…I think I already learned my lesson. Earlier this evening…I thought I almost lost my life in front of me. There I realized that life is too short to waste things…to leave things unsaid.”

 

I paused for a bit, readying myself for the confession I’ve been scared to do all my life. I bowed my head down a bit and sighed. Just then, I heard everyone gasping again. As I looked up, I saw Jiyong in front of me, locking his eyes on me.

 

CL: Jiyong-ah….

 

Without saying a word, he walked a bit towards me and held my face with both of his hands. Flustering, I was left there frozen and speechless. He just stared at me for like how many seconds and I can feel my heartbeat getting crazy now. Then, he did the most heavenly thing he could do….

 

He leaned his face to me and kissed me straight on my lips.

 

The only difference this time, I didn’t feel the urge to slap him…but instead I closed my eyes and felt his arms circling around me…getting tighter every second. I didn’t mind the audience’s noise over us, I just cared about the person here in front of me and my intertwined system with him.

 

He then stopped kissing me but his arms were still around me. Facing me now, he smiled and I can’t help but to smile back too.

 

Jiyong: So, you like me?

 

I punched him playfully.

 

CL: Punk, you kissed me first.

 

He giggled.

 

Jiyong: Nah, you didn’t even complain.

CL: Pshh…

 

He got the microphone from me and he faced everyone who’s pretty mind-blown to what they just witnessed.

 

Jiyong: Everyone…Uhm, I just want to make things legal…

 

Then he faced me again.

 

Jiyong: This girl right here…is already mine.

 

He smiled while biting his lips. Flattered and all, I just smiled like crazy and hugged him back. Even though there were gasps, rude reactions or walk-outs, I still seemed to be pretty fine. With Jiyong and me, I feel like I don’t need anything else. He hugged me back, tighter this time and I just smiled ear to ear in response.

 

The truth is…nothing can make me say how happy I am with the guy I’ve fell in love with right now.

 

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Later that night, everyone dispersed after my speech-turned-out-confession. Professor Sean, who was completely surprised about everything just congratulated me and confirmed his promise that I could finally be free from all what I’ve done to him in the past. Jiyong and I were the last ones to evacuate the place, for Bom approached us and offered her reserved dress to me. She said I deserve wearing it since my dress is all worn out. Thankful, I felt kind of guilty after all the unpleasant things I’ve thought about her.

 

Jiyong: Ya, are you okay?

 

We are now walking back home like what Jiyong requested. He said he wanted to have a walk home despite of everything that happened this night. Looking at his wounds, I argued to just take the bus so that we could cure his wounds right away but he hard-headedly went on his way.

 

CL: What?

Jiyong: You’ve been quiet.

CL: It’s just that…I remembered Giant.

Jiyong: Oh…well, I guess he went home already. He was drunk.

 

I felt a stab in my heart. Seriously, I can’t help thinking that it was my fault he acted that way. I didn’t show up…of course he would be upset.

 

Jiyong noticed me getting worried and he rose up my chin as lightly as he can.

 

Jiyong: Don’t worry…he’s fine.

CL: He must be…upset by now.

 

As I was deep in my thoughts, I didn’t notice that Jiyong stopped walking with me. I halted too and looked back, seeing him crossing his arms and pouting.

 

CL: Ya.

Jiyong: How can you think of another man while I’m with you?

CL: What???

Jiyong: That’s cheating.

CL: YA!

 

He walked towards me, still pouting.

 

CL: Ya, do you think I’m your girlfriend now?!

Jiyong: Why? Aren’t we official yet?

CL: Aish. You’re unbelievable! You didn’t even ask me!

Jiyong: Do I have to? You like me too, right?!

CL: It’s not that simple! AISH!

 

I walked out, exasperated by his actions. Really, Kwon Jiyong?! I may be the clumsiest girl in town but I’m a girl too. Jeez. Who wouldn’t want a decent proposal?! AISH.

 

Jiyong: YA!

 

He jogged to catch me and made me face him. I scrunched my brows as I asked him what’s wrong now.

 

Jiyong: You’re too numb, are you?

CL: What?

Jiyong: March 14….

CL: What the heck is…

Jiyong: March 14. The first day I saw you strolling down the streets.

CL: That was…

Jiyong: Three years after that, May 23. You started calling me “oppa”. But it only lasted for a day.

 

I gave a half-hearted smile.

 

Jiyong: We were in the beginning of middle school, March 6. You got crept out because of a spider that you suddenly hugged me desperately.

CL: Ya. Why are you even bringing up your diary???

 

He sighed. I guess, giving up.

 

Jiyong: Three times, Chaerin.

CL: three…?

Jiyong: Three times, I tried telling you what’s been in here all along. *pointing at his chest* And I failed all of those. Time was never on my side, Chaerin. But it didn’t stop me from hoping that maybe…my feelings could be repaid. That maybe…someday, you’ll like me too.

CL: You mean…y-y-you liked me? Even before? *blushing*

Jiyong: Way back when we were kids. But I was always lost for words that I couldn’t tell you. Not until…now.

CL: But why? I mean…all I did was to pester your perfect life.

Jiyong: My life was at its worst not until you came. YOU perfected my life, Chaerin. Not them.

CL: But you had everything. It’s impossible I was able to fill all those up.

 

He smiled.

 

Jiyong: If I were to pick between you doing your dirty tricks on me between getting “luxurious” treats from my parents…I’d always choose you instead.

 

I blushed. He looked at me intently and he sighed.

 

Jiyong: Chaerin-ah…

CL: Y-y-eah?

 

He held my hand with both of his hands and I could feel them trembling.

 

Jiyong: I love you. And I always have…

 

……

 

Jiyong: Can you…take a chance with me?

 

At first, I was lost for words. All I can think of is that maybe I was dreaming and I should really wake up now. But no, I am alive and totally breathing. And here, right in front of me is Kwon Jiyong taking up all his guts to confess his feelings for me. All along, I thought this was just a dream I could never get or even see while I’m deep asleep. Not knowing how to control the shock and happiness inside me, I just stared at him with tears of joy invading my eyes.

 

Jiyong: Well…? You’re making me nervous here.

CL: I…I have to tell you something Jiyong….

 

He gestured as if he’s ready to listen.

 

CL: I…I’m sorry….

 

He let go of my hands.

 

Jiyong: Why??? Do you like someone else??

CL: It’s just that…

Jiyong: Is it Choi Seunghyun??

 

I lowered my head a bit, thinking how ridiculous would that is. Then, I faced him again.

 

CL: It’s just that…I…

 

 

…… I’m sorry but…I love you more than you “love” me.

 

He smiled and I saw how relieved he was. He hugged me hard and I giggled, feeling very high with him now and thinking no one can even separate me now with this nerdy punk. Unclasping from me, his bright dashing smile didn’t fade yet as he bit his lip this time. Glad to be witness all of this, I smiled too thinking that I felt like I’ve been reborn. For maybe I was once a badass, but now…

 

….I am HIS BADASS. Yeah, I’m still a badass but completely taken this time. ;)

 

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And it all ends here. :)

Thank you for keeping up with me you guys! :DDD

I hope you were all satisfied with my second fanfic! <333