CHAPTER 31: What I'm Missing.

 

(JIYONG P.O.V)

 

It was already morning and I was up from bed. I fixed my room, and by fix I mean getting this place all squeaky clean like I always wanted them too. I faced the mirror to check myself one last time before going down and saw a simple nerdy guy, nothing special really.

 

Jiyong: Should I really get rid of these eyeglasses???

 

I tried to take them off and my vision went blurred expectedly. I wore them back again as I can’t see clearly on how I really look without my glasses. I deeply sighed and went out of my room at last.

 

When I got downstairs, I noticed that everybody were busy murmuring things. Jeez, talk about morning gossip. Not really cool you know. I ignored them and looked for Psy hyung, for him to ready the car. I went out to the lawn and saw our car already outside with lights on, ready to go off. I jogged towards it then I was stopped on my tracks when I remembered about CL-ssi. Dang, she must be still sleeping by now. Worried she might get late again, I approached my maid who’s gardening outside.

 

Jiyong: Noona! Please tell CL to wake up now. She might get late! I can’t really wait for her now, araseo?

 

My maid tried to stop me from going like she wanted to say something to me but I went off to the car anyways. When I got in, I saw Psy hyung waiting for me and I greeted him good morning then I closed the door. Just then, I saw CL sitting beside me which made jump off from my seat.

 

Jiyong: Omo! CL???

CL: You’re late.

Jiyong: B-but…I thought you were still sleeping???

CL: Well obviously, I’m not. *she smirks*

Jiyong: Jeez. Since when did you learn to actually wake up early?

CL: Since today. Now, keep your mouth shut.

 

Still confused to how she ever learnt how to attend school on time, I looked at the side, but I can still sense her curving her lips. Is this another scheme of her? Will she do something chaotic again??? Overthinking, I settled my thoughts behind and I forced to see this miracle the other way around. Maybe…just maybe, she’s trying to be like someone better…

 

Well, thinking about it…this is an improvement though. At least she puts effort to attend Jinusean’s class on time. Jeez, thinking about it makes me smile too. Aigoo, CL. You really know how to drive me crazy. Remembering our confrontation last night, I tried to open up a topic.

 

Remember Jiyong, be cool. Don’t panic.

 

Jiyong: Hey, what’s the big fuss about the paper anyway?

 

She looked back at me like she’s seen a ghost.

 

Jiyong: What?

CL: M-mwo?

Jiyong: Have you started making your speech last night?

 

She looked away again.

 

CL: Uhm, no…heck I’ve got hella time.

Jiyong: Jeez. How come you haven’t started yet?? I left you at the rooftop all day and you did nothing?

CL: Uhm…I slept.

Jiyong: Of course you did. *sighs deeply*

 

Seriously, I was kind of annoyed whenever I think about it. I mean, I’ve given her enough time right? And again, she doesn’t see my efforts for her. I’ve been trying to help her all along but here she is ignoring me all the time. Sometimes I really want to slap myself from the reality that SHE WILL NEVER CHANGE. Sigh.

 

When we got to school, I immediately opened the door and did not wait for CL anymore to open hers too. I did this not because it’s part of the plan to continuously ignore her but rather I feel doing it so. Since I can pull off a thing like ignoring her most of the time, I think this time around I don’t have to pretend. I’m annoyed and that’s it.

 

When I was walking towards our room, I felt CL jogging towards me and made me face her.

 

CL: Ya.

Jiyong: What?

CL: Why the hell are you acting like a sometimes???

Jiyong: I’m not.

CL: Yes you are! You’ve been acting strange! You don’t treat me like you used to! You’re getting bipolar! So fickle!

Jiyong: And that makes me a ?

CL: *was taken aback* Well…yeah!

 

Then the bell rang.

 

Jiyong: Dang. We’re late.

 

She looked disappointed when our conversation was cut by the bell. With all the guts I have, I decided to grab her by her hand and I dragged her, running towards Professor Sean’s class.

 

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(CL P.O.V)

 

I was surprised as he grabbed me all of a sudden and we ran like crazy. We took the stairs up to the third floor and I was breathing heavily now. Jeez, with him grabbing me by the hand makes me sweat even more. My heart keeps beating faster and all I can do now is to actually watch him as he runs away with me. Dang, it may sound corny but he looks good when he’s focused on something. Ugh.

 

We then got to the room and we stood there outside waiting for Jinusean to actually notice us and let us in. Dang, if this would be in my way, I’ll get inside easily without even getting Jinusean’s permission. Ha. He doesn’t scare me. But being with Jiyong, I know he wants to enter the class the right way.

 

When he finally noticed us from his seat, he widened his eyes. Jeez, I wonder why he had to stare at us like we’re ghosts. The whole class, noticed him staring too, looked back at us and dilated their big eyes too. Seriously, WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL WITH US BEING LATE?!

 

As I was going to scratch my head and ask what’s with the stares….I realized I can’t. I noticed my hand was preoccupied. What the… Just then I felt…someone holding my hand. Wait a minute….

 

 

OH CRAP.

 

Jiyong hasn’t let go of my hand yet. I looked at his hand holding mine and I too, widened my eyes as I saw what they’re seeing too. Immediately, I took it away from him and I felt my face reddening with that humiliation. Oh jeez, what if they’ll see me feeling hot here??? Jiyong, who just realized what’s happening, has finally spoken.

 

Jiyong: Uhm…sir. Sorry, we’re late.

Professor Sean: Take your seats you guys.

 

Jiyong gestured to me to go ahead and I did. I went to my seat and sat uncomfortably. I can still sense eyes looking at me and murmuring to what they have seen. Oh damn. I can’t put up with this kind of situation; especially if I knew somehow deep inside me that…I liked what they saw.

 

When the class ended, I immediately took my chance to go away from this room and breathe some air. When I thought I could get away, I heard someone calling my name.

 

Jiyong: CL!

 

Oh dang. WHAT NOW?!

 

Jiyong: Kaja.

CL: What??? *I asked irritatingly*

Jiyong: Let’s…*tries to grab me by my hand again*

 

I pulled my hand off quickly and made him surprised by what I did. Then he smirked.

 

Jiyong: Okay. Just follow me.

CL: Where to?

Jiyong: We’ll finish what you’re supposed to finish yesterday.

 

I rolled my eyes as I began following him. Okay, so I just realized that I like him….but that doesn’t mean I don’t have the right to be annoyed right? I wanted space, okay…Especially if he’s the cause of my humiliation a while ago. Others might have concluded some malicious things and I don’t want that. Expectedly, he brought me to the rooftop again and we sat on the bench there.

 

Jiyong: Bring it out.

CL: What?

Jiyong: The paper you have there.

CL: Oh…okay.

 

I brought out the paper he gave to me yesterday…but I put it back again. Dang. I can’t possibly bring this out, it has my handwriting at the edge of it. And he can’t definitely see it.

 

CL: Uhm…can I have one again?

Jiyong: Where’s that paper you insisted to get last night?

CL: Uhm…at home? Jeez. Just give me another paper.

 

Sighing, he brought out a sheet of paper and a ball pen.

 

Jiyong: Okay. Let’s get started. Share me your thoughts.

 

I scrunched my brows.

 

CL: About what??

Jiyong: *sighs again* about the prom of course.

CL: Oh….

Jiyong: Other than .

CL: Lame.

Jiyong: Other than lame.

CL: Gay.

Jiyong: Other than gay.

CL: Definitely not my type!

Jiyong: JEEZ, CL! Just give me a positive thought! For crying out loud!

CL: Fine! Fine! Wait…I’ll think

 

I went silent for a moment and tried really hard to think of a decent adjective to describe this prom thingy. Well, as for me…I’ve viewed this event as a negative one and I don’t really want attending lame occasions like that. I mean, it’s so not like me. Wearing dresses, make-up and dancing and dining all night long. What’s the essence of being there if not for showing off??? Sighing as I settled those thoughts of mine, I gave up.

 

CL: Nothing.

Jiyong: What do you mean…nothing?

CL: I can’t think of any decent positive thought about it.

Jiyong: Impossible. Use your brain.

CL: Trust me, my brain’s all honest. It can’t lie, there’s nothing about prom here.

Jiyong: What about…an unforgettable first time experience? *looks at me, smiling*

 

I focused at his smile too much that I didn’t know how to respond. His smile is so inviting…like it can actually make me think an adjective for that lame occasion. Like, I wanted to nod to his suggestion.

 

Then I tried to shake off the thought.

 

CL: Unforgettable???

Jiyong: Like you’re looking forward for the event…for a wonderful experience you never thought of having. And you wanted to thank all those who made you come there.

CL: Jeez. It sounds gay to me.

Jiyong: Fine. Then what do you have in mind?

 

I paused to his question. What do I have in mind? Well, my mind’s pretty preoccupied now…I tried going with my thoughts and stare blankly.

 

CL: I…I don’t look forward for a wonderful experience. Probably...because I never had one. I never look forward to things…they just come to me naturally.

 

Jiyong looked at me and he stood up.

 

Jiyong: do you know what you need?

CL: What?

Jiyong: An experience of what you’re missing. *winks*

 

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