CHAPTER 44: Fail.

 

(Jiyong P.O.V)

 

I heard her alright. As I was so surprised myself, I guess I just had to follow my instincts and kiss her instead. I was not sleeping or anything, I was fully awake with the right consciousness and a confused mind. I didn’t hesitate anymore, I had to make a move now or like what Psy hyung said, “It’s now or never”. Never mind if I heard her wrong that she fallen for me, what’s important here is that I’ve finally had this feeling of assurance and confidence.

 

When I actually kissed her, my eyes were just close not taking a peek at her. I felt that she already took her lips away from mine and I finally opened my eyes as carefully as I can. She didn’t speak any word, she was just looking at me like I’ve done a very serious crime and she can’t believe I’m the criminal. Looking away, I scratched my head as I was too is very lost for words.

 

CL: A-a-are you…still asleep??

Jiyong: Erm…obviously CL, I’m wide awake.

 

She bit her lip as she looked away, hiding her very embarrassed face. Totally being cute, I just smiled at her.

 

Jiyong: Uhm...is it true?

CL: W-w-what true?

Jiyong: That…you, uhm…fallen for me?

CL: I…I did? I, erm…said that???

Jiyong: Well, yeah. I heard you earlier…

CL: *laughs* You kidding me? I’ll never say that.

Jiyong: Ya…but you just said,

CL: You know what? I gotta go. Just sleep okay? *tries to laugh again*

 

She walked away as quickly as she can but I knew better than just looking at her go. I stood up from my seat and chased her right away up to the stairs. I wanted to do this now or I’ll never have this kind of confidence again. And I’m never even sure about anything in my life except for this moment. I KNEW I HAD TO DO SOMETHING.

 

Jiyong: YA! *holds her wrist*

 

She looked back at me with hesitation.

 

Jiyong: CL, please just tell me….

CL: Look. There’s nothing to tell.

Jiyong: Are you saying that my kiss was nothing???

CL: YA! Are you playing with me?! *pushes me on my shoulders*

 

I guess she pushed too hard that I lost my balance. We were actually at the stairs and there’s not much space so I’m trying hard not to fall. CL tried to grab me by my shirt but it’s too late. We tripped down to the ground and I hit my body real hard. As I was in pain, I was kind of relieved that CL was fine as she was positioned just on top of me.

 

Jiyong: Oww…

 

CL noticed that we have this awkward position that her face was just inches away from mine and I actually caught her blushing. I smiled and she hurriedly got away from me and took a seat on the side.

 

CL: I..uhm, I’m sorry…

Jiyong: It’s okay. You can kiss me in return.

CL: MWO???!!!

Jiyong: I’ve kissed you already, right? It’s your turn now. *teases more*

CL: What the…You’re unbelievable! You’re not even…!

 

I placed my finger on her lip which practically made her stop talking. I leaned closer to her this time, with all the intentions of telling her everything I feel.

 

Jiyong: Uhm…Chaerin…

 

She impatiently removed my finger from her lips and glared at me. Okay, this is freaky and this is totally not what I’m expecting.

 

CL: You don’t touch my lips…for the second time, mister.

Jiyong: Look, I have something to tell you!

CL: Save it Jiyong! I knew everything! You’re just playing with me all along. You liked Bom right?! You even said you love her while sleep-talking!

Jiyong: What??? I did?

CL: So what am I now, a liar??? You must be different now, but you have no right to play with me. Not with your dirty little tricks.

Jiyong: But I’m not even…!

CL: Look, Jiyong. Whatever you heard earlier, maybe you just misheard me. Forget about it okay? Just bother Bom not me. SO, Now that I did the talking for you, I can sleep now. And as for you….

 

 

 

 

….GO TO HELL.

 

---------------------

 

(TOP P.O.V)

 

TOP: You’re stupid.

 

My brother didn’t respond. I’ve already finished cleaning up his wounds and I told Minji that she should get some rest now. We were left here downstairs, still speechless and staring blankly. When I spoke, he looked at me expressionless.

 

TOP: Look, you should rest now. Your wounds would I guess heal tomorrow.

 

I stood up and was about to go when he held my arm.

 

Dongwook: Ya.

TOP: What?

Dongwook: I…I proved you wrong right?

TOP: Look, forget about it. It’s not even…

Dongwook: Just answer me.

TOP: Fine. You did. Happy?

Dongwook: No.

 

I looked at him, more intently. I went back to my seat again, ready to listen to him.

 

Dongwook: Hanbyul has always been that one special person in my life. She changed my perspectives, and that involved my ability to trust again. I was happy with her that I didn’t care to even look at you anymore. What mattered to me is that as long she’s there, I am complete.

 

It pinched my heart a little.

 

Dongwook: I never bothered to look at you as my brother; I just knew that you were an ordinary kid I need to settle with. I was bestowed with a very huge responsibility when our mother left us. She left you to me. I was like what? 12 yrs. Old? I never had the chance to even enjoy being a kid; I had to think about you rather than myself.

TOP: It’s never my fault that you were born first.

Dongwook: I know. I was completely deceived by my thoughts that I became selfish. Years later….I met Hanbyul and I knew she was the one for me. But then, I knew deep down myself that my relationship with Hanbyul will eventually be unstable and so unsure. She has a wealthy family while I have nothing….

TOP: But at least you love her…right?

 

He smirked and moved his head sideways.

 

Dongwook: Seunghyun…love is never enough for an answer. The point is…I’ve never realized that she, who completed my life, will also be the one to take it away from me. I loved her but it was never enough that she ended up marrying another man.

TOP: Because you threw her away.

Dongwook: But at the end, I fought for her right? But I was too late. The thing that I missed out…Despite of I and Hanbyul being together all the time, you’ve always been there. And now, as she faded away from my life….you are still here ready to listen.

 

I looked at him and I noticed he wasn’t looking at me directly. He was looking down all along as he said those words to me. I had the urge to cry but I stopped myself of course. The thing is…I thought I was mad at him all along but now that he’s actually telling me all his dilemmas in life, I felt nothing but pity. He is my brother after all, that no matter how much he tried pushing me away from him I know I’ll go back and ask for his acceptance again. He was my only family, and I don’t think I can bear seeing him leaving me like what my mom did.

 

TOP: Ya. You should rest now.

 

He didn’t answer. Sighing, I just decided to give him some space as I will hit sheets now. When I was on the stairs, he then spoke.

 

Dongwook: Forgive me, Seunghyun. I’m sorry that you had a selfish brother.

 

A tear went down to my face and I looked away.

 

TOP: I have always forgiven you. You’re the only one I have after all.

 

-----------------------------------------------------

 

(CL P.O.V)

 

The next days of our practices were the worst. We barely even eat or take long breaks now. They said we had to perfect every single dance step. Easy for those who really dance well but in the case of Giant and I, I think days of practices are never enough. We always step each other’s foot that leaves us giggling and being frustrated at it as well.

 

As for Jiyong, ever since we had this confrontation that night…I never even bothered to talk to him. Honestly, I don’t know why. Maybe because I got embarrassed by him kissing me or maybe I knew he was going to dump me? I don’t really know, my brain’s pretty much in a war of thoughts right now. But since I have no particular reason yet, I had to ignore him.

 

The kiss was…unexpectedly something humiliating. For someone who likes a person that much, a kiss was supposed to be something huge, something to-die for but I felt different. I felt like the world just mocked my feelings and I let that nerd to. How could I take that little kiss whole-heartedly if I knew that wasn’t sincere??? For crying out loud, I knew he likes Bom not me! I even confirmed that when he was sleeping. I may have liked that guy but I have my pride and dignity too, and I can’t let him take that away from me.

 

When Jiyong always tried to approach me, I drag Giant with me and step out of the room. Since Giant didn’t care to why I always drag him around, it always works for me. I can see that Jiyong and Bom are always in this intense atmosphere where Bom kept nagging Jiyong to memorize the steps. Jiyong, who I think likes Bom that much does everything she does. Well I guess I had to be jelly there.

 

Our dance teacher announced that she had to put additional dance steps. Of course, in our part, we all groaned for disapproval. We knew this would just add up to the pressure but nonetheless she insisted on adding that dance step. She said it would be like switching of partners while on a circle. We would be doing this waltz-style basic dance step with the boys in the inner circle and girls on the outer part. We had to be the one going over different boys each twirl and that practically makes up the added dance step.

 

When we finally started, I just realized that I had to go over Jiyong. I would be dancing with him for like half a minute. Jeez, talk about awkwardness I tell you. The music continued playing and we were doing fine, when I realized my next partner would be Jiyong. I was really producing this cold sweat and I’m really praying he won’t talk to me. I finally twirled towards him and he caught me with his arms on my waist. I wanted to complain but that’s pretty much part of the steps. I tried looking away as possible as I can.

 

Jiyong: CL…

 

I didn’t respond.

 

Jiyong: CL! *whispers loudly*

 

I didn’t respond again. Dang, this is taking forever.

 

Jiyong: Meet me at the rooftop later. Please.

 

I looked at him this time, our eyes met and I had to twirl to another partner again.

 

-------------------------------------

 

lol. Patience everyone. let's all trust Jiyongiee. =))