~Yumi~

-----------------------------------------------------------

The guys stayed quiet, as did I. I wasn't really in the position to know if this was wrong or right to blame them or not. If it was their fault or my own fault at the moment that I had become this way. Not that it was weird or very different from being the real me but, it was still different. I felt their gaze at me. I felt everything that was moving, everything that was making sounds and even the constant silence of not hearing the guy's hearts beating. 

I swallowed hard. How did I really feel about this? 

"Yumi.. you have to tell me what you're thinking" JaeJoong whispered and took one step forward which caused me to automatically take one step back

JaeJoong stopped instantly, hurt was allover his face but I couldn't help it

"Why do I keep dodging you?" I whispered

"It's a hunter's instict. As if danger would appear" Yunho explained

"But you are not.. dangerous to me" I said confused

"You'll get a hang on it soon" JaeJoong said

"Is there anything... different about me?" I asked, as if I was terrified to not hear the answer that I wanted to hear

Silence was over us and the guys didn't answer

"Anything..." I whispered quietly

"Your heart is not beating anymore" JaeJoong said

I swallowed hard

He sounded disappointed. Well not only disappointed but also relieved. Was it possible for him to feel relieved right now?

"You need... to complete the transition if you want to live" Kibum said suddenly, stepping out from the shadows of the guys and came to the front

I stared at him shockingly

"Or else... I'll die.. right?" I asked

Kibum nodded

"Give her time to adjust herself" JaeJoong said

"I think we've had enough with time. Besides, we need to let her complete it before her hunger will get out of control" Kibum gritted his teeth at JaeJoong

JaeJoong glared at him

"He's right Hyung" Changmin said

Because of the conversation I felt something weird inside of me growing, a desire that I had never felt before. Well it has been there but never has the greed made me want to satisfy it so badly. And then the scent hit me. Not too far away from here. Without thinking I ran 

"YUMI!! YUMI!!"

They kept shouting and screaming my name and they followed me and when I was outside, only a few feet away from the blood that had caused me to be this way, I was suddenly thrown aback and JaeJoong was on top of me

"CONTROL YOURSELF!!!!!!!" He growled

Shockingly I stared at him, afraid at first but then calming myself down

"I'm so sorry"

His face changed back to normal and he shook his head, understanding me

"Go. THe body is right over.. there" He whispered in pain

He got off me and helped me up and I looked away from him, slowly approaching the man who had killed me, who had forced me to become a vampire.

If I didn't have the vampire blood in me, that was accidentally given by Kibum, I would never be a vampire at the moment but at the same time, he saved my life. Twice. And now I had a decision to make. To live or to die..

I stared at the body, smelling the scent, feeling my gums hurting. But I couldn't even bare myself to kneel down to just have a taste of it, no matter how hard the desire for the blood was. 

"She's fighting it. Isn't she?" I heard Changmin whisper to someone. I think he said that to no one paticular but still I couldn't help but wonder who reacted

"Don't fight it. You.. have to" I heard JaeJoong say

Something cold and weird strolled down my cheek. A tear. An ice cold tear

"Or else I'll die?" I whispered

"Yes" JaeJoong breathed, standing now right behind me

"If I choose to die?" I whispered

I did consider the option cause drinking human blood was too frightening for me. Innocent people could die by my hands if I lost the control. But then again, I couldn't bring myself to do so. Leaving all these precious and wonderful people behind because of my selfishness. I spun around, being close to JaeJoong for the first time in this life as a vampire. I saw him clearer now. His beautiful eyes that was merley looking at me with pitiness, hurt and pain. He was blaming himself

I then touched his face briefly, his eyes closing and shivering of the touch

"There's.. no warmth anymore.. is it?" 

JaeJoong didn't answer, instead he leaned forward and kissed my forehead

"We're equal" He whispered

I trembled by his loving kiss as soon as his lips met mine and I forgot about my own thoughts, what I had been feeling and what I had been considering. As I let go of him I spun around and looked down on the man that had killed me. His scent making my greed grow for his blood and my gums were aching. I felt something change in my face but as I kneeled down, my teeth piercing into his skin, the greed was slowly being satisfied as his blood started to come into my system. I closed my eyes, hoping that the the disgust for myself would disappear. I felt another side of me feeling so happy, so outrageous and I wanted to everything that was left in his body. But the other half of me kept saying no. Was this the human side that JaeJoong and the guys kept talking about?

I suddenly let go of the man, his body lying there lifelessly and I breathed hard, wondering if this is what I really wanted to do for the rest of myself. I could always stake myself if I regretted this 

"What... now?" I stuttered

I spun around and faced JaeJoong and saw his face that had changed into the hunter he really was. He then came forward and touched my face as he carefully wiped away the blood from my lips

"There.. is a lot of things that needs to be taken care of.. now. Are you.. full now?" 

It felt weird to hear him ask me that so I just burst out laughing, knowing that this was certainly not the right time to laugh but I couldn't help myself. JaeJoong seemed to understand why I was laughing so he just smiled at me. Changmin was suddenly by my side and he looked at me carefully

"You should go inside and... take a look" He said

He was probably talking about my face. I swallowed hard but then I ran and was 2 seconds later in front of the mirror in the bathroom. The guys was right behind me but instead of going inside the bathroom, they stayed outside in the bedroom. I was closing my eyes, afraid to face the my reflection in the mirror. I was afraid of how awful I would look. How scary it would be to face the real me now. For eternity

I took a deep breath and looked at my face and I slowly started to build up the sorrow and the pitiness I felt inside of my since my disappointment wasn't really something I wanted to hide. I raised my right hand to touch the veins that was around my eyes, my mouth that had two long teeth that would mark me as a real vampire.

"Take a deep breath and tell yourself to calm down. There is still a human side of you and as long as you hold onto it, and fight for it, you will be able to get through this better. Stronger" JaeJoong whispered

I did as I was told and when I opened my eyes I saw Me.. again

"Are they gone?" I asked

"Yes" 

I walked out of the bathroom slowly and saw the guys gone.

"They went hunting" JaeJoong said

I nodded slowly, understanding that they needed their strength. I wasn't full but I was satisfied for now and that was all I needed. I sat down on the bed and Jaejoong sat down right next to me and looked at me

"I need you.. to talk to me.." JaeJoong pleaded and moved the hair out of my face

"I don't know where to begin" I whispered

"Anywhere. As long as you don't shut me out.. I'm right here and.. I need you to talk to me. That would be better than this silence between us"

I knew exactly what he wanted to know. I knew what kind of answers he wanted but was that really my answers? What did I feel about being like this? Frozen, a dead human but alive as a vampire. My nutrition and food would be blood. I couldn't be out in the sun and I was stuck in the shadows for eternity. This was a life that I hadn't chosen for myself but I was forced into this life. With no options. And my family.. my friends. My life..

"We can.. start with you .. answering my questions.." I said a bit unsure

"Of course.." He whispered

I stood up and walked over to the window only to cover the sun that was about to rise

"There's no need to" He whispered

He was suddenly behind me and he did something very slowly. I looked down shockingly to see a silver necklace being wrapped around my neck and he attached the necklace carefully. I saw the small accessory of a silver crystal wing with diamonds and his arms were soon wrapped around my waist, hugging me from behind

"It's necklace that I prepared decades ago. To give to that someone.. special" He whispered