~JaeJoong~

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I was standing by the open fire-place while Yumi was having a shower upstairs. I took a sip from the glass of alcohol as I kept thinking. Donghae.. what is his purpose here? I knew for sure that he was madly in love with Yumi but for some reason I found him being strange around her only. Could it be that he loved her before he even became a vampire? If so, was there a possibility that his love could have turned into something crazy such as obsession? After all, he wasn't strong when it came to blood and today he almost lost control over it.

"You're thinking a lot" Kibum said as he threw himself on the couch

"You know me, I like thinking"

"Which makes your brain useless. Cause you know that thinking too much will give you headache and headache results in feeding blood, human blood" Kibum said

"Did you even try to feed on animal blood?"

"I did, I promise. After that I threw up. Poor bear. He could have lived a long life" Kibum sighed

I rolled my eyes while laughing

"So a romantic dinner huh? Who knew you would fall for a human girl. She's not even pretty" Kibum shrugged

"Do not say that. She's more than beautiful, she's so much more than that"

"Ew, she has you around her pinky finger. She's human for God's sake. Stop torturing yourself on purpose" Kibum said

"It's not torture, it's.. humanity"

"Oh for God's sake.. Do not tell me ... that deep inside of you.. there is a small small place, that is just waiting to come out, to feel her blood, her warmth and the sound of her first screaming then sighing in pleasure. Admit it, you want it"

I threw the glass of alcohol at him which he caught while drinking his own glass

"She's not just any human. And she's definitely not a blood bank" I said

"Right, but you cannot ignore your nature"

"I know that"

"Then why are you still being around her? Why do you even spend time with her? You can get a supermodel... well with that looks, maybe an actress if you're lucky" He chuckled

"You do not know anything about love"

"And you're saying you do?" Kibum asked

"Well yes. I do not feed on her and yes, of course I feel myself wanting to drink sometimes but.. I fight it and it disappears" I said seriously, looking into Kibum's eyes

I knew Kibum's history. He was doubting. And he was afraid of me making the same mistake as he did. That is why he became the vampire he is today. He stopped caring. He didn't want to see, open himself up anymore and he will not hide himself anymore. He accepted his nature and that he was a vampire and that he needed blood in order to live, to survive.

The mistake he did with the girl he once fell in love, I've never seen anyone being so tortured like he was. He was so miserable, so sad.. and it was just.. heartbreaking to see him go through that. Who said vampires couldn't feel? We can. But the difference between us and humans are... They get over it. They will forget since the human memory are dim. But vampires don't. We remember exactly, remembers everything so clearly as if we were watching a movie over and over again and the pain that once appeared, never disappears. Especielly in these kind of situations. When you know it's on you, because you were the reason for it

Kibum killed her, since he didn't accept his nature, since he didn't accept that he was vampire and no matter how much he tried to fight it, in the end, when seeing blood, which accidentally happened to be her blood, he lost the control and was suddenly somebody else. When he realized what had happened, he suffered for decades and I knew that he had tried to kill himself and no matter what I did,, I couldn't stop him from doing so. But I also knew it would be slightly impossible for him kill himself.. since.. he was too strong. His senses was stronger than his feelings when the cravings took over. And when the cravings were satisfied he mourned again

Lucky for me, I fell in love with Yuri when I was a human and I didn't kill her. I still remembered but.. that is over now. I had centuries of time to help myself, put myself together and become stronger. Which is also why I think I'm able to be close to Yumi

"Well.. what's so special about her? Except that she can provide you with the nutrition that you need" He rolled his eyes

"She doesn't make me feel like I'm a vampire.. and she's brave. Courageous. Wonderful.. and she makes me feel human"

I saw Kibum stopping himself from drinking for a second and then he raised the glass towards his mouth again and drank.

"Sounds loving" He shrugged

"It's more than that"

"Jae?"

I saw Yumi rounding the corner and running towards me as she gave me a kiss on my cheek and I embraced her as she hugged me back

"Ew, can't you do that somewhere else, I don't want to vomit" Kibum said

"Don't be such a dramaqueen" Yumi said

"Oh, drama is fun though don't you think?" Kibum chuckled

"No, it definitely isn't"

"Oh yeah? Don't you think that Yuri brought you guys closer ? And of course, now you know more about Jae and he knows how much you are willing to do for him in order to save him even though he really wants to feed on you but keep on fighting it cause he doesn't want to hurt you but once he loses his control, you're dead" Kibum said really quick, Unfortunately I wasn't able to stop him from saying all of that

BUt one thing that I did do was to push him against the wall which didn't help much

"Oh please, a fight is not necessary. You know I'm telling the truth" He smiled

"SOmetimes the truth doesn't need to be told until its right arrival and moment to appear" I growled angrily

I then felt Kibum push me away from him, causing me to end up behind the couch on the floor

"JAE!"

Yumi was quick by my side but I was already up on my feet before she even arrived

"Let's go, I think someone had too much alcohol" I gritted my teeth

"Oh please, don't be such a loner. Getting sulky is not gonna help you. Besides, I'm still right"

I hurriedly got out of the livingroom while holding Yumi's hand and I grabbed the bag with all the ingredients for tonight's dinner and also mine and her jacket and 10 minutes later we were on our way in my car towards her house

Yumi was quiet and I knew that she was thinking about Kibum, what he just said and I knew that she also knew that it was true. But I wasn't in pain.. It was hard sometimes but it's not pain that I'm suffering from. It's just my true nature and I couldn't deny the fact that I needed blood to live. And I have never ever considered to drink her blood, and I never will

"I know what you're thinking" I sighed and stopped the car and parked it right outside her house. She was quietly unlocking the seatbelt as she nodded briefly

We got out of the car and walked side by side towards her house and when we stepped inside, it was quiet. We went inside the kitchen to put the bag of food there and then I saw her walking towards the livingroom, and I automatically followed her

"Is it really that.. hard?" She whispered

I sighed

She looked at me so sadly, as if she was the blame for all of this. She wasn't. I had a hard time to be around any human but since I had feelings for her, the desire of wanting her close to me, and being close just by having her blood in my system, it would be as if she was my reason to live

"It's unavoidable" I said

"So it's hard?"

"I've gotten myself used to it and that is why I'm also able to control myself. Just like now. I wouldn't be able to be alone with you like this if it weren't for the strength that I've built up in order to fight it"

"But he was right. You're not able to fight it, it's a part of you"

"Yes it is and so are you. You're the part of me that makes me want to be a better man and even though blood keeps me alive, you give me reason to living it"

Yumi looked into my eyes for a long time

"Do not blame yourself. I would never do anything to hurt you and you shouldn't listen to Kibum"

"But he is.."

"He's in pain that's why"

"In.. pain?" She asked

I nodded

"He ... committed the worse mistake that any vampire would do when falling in love with a human. He lost the control and she died"

Yumi gasped and covered in shock

I nodded

"And in a way, I am thankful since he doesn't want me to go through the same thing that he did because.. I know that he will never be able to get over it. But the way that he is trying to stop it is wrong. And when you're hurting, you can say anything to anyone. Since you hope that it will make your own pain go away. The difference between me and him is, I've had centuries of time to fight it, to be able to control it. Not that I wouldn't be able to lose the control but I'm much stronger at controlling it if I keep my mind in focus all the time. He spent the centuries mourning and finding a way to die"

"It's that.. sad?" She asked

I sighed

"It's much more than that" I whispered

I unlocked the gaze between the two of us and stared at the ceiling as I leaned back on the couch

Suddenly she climbed on me and forced me to look at her

"I will never.. make you go through that pain. And if you ever do, it wasn't me who caused it cause I would never hurt you" She whispered

"I know" I nodded

"So don't you for even a second think that I would even let you go through the heartache that Kibum is going through"

I nodded

Yumi smiled at me and then leaned in to kiss me, as if that it was just a promise that she just made

I was more than right. She is everything I could ask for..