~JaeJoong~

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I was trying to pull away, restrain myself, control myself, behave but it was impossible. Impossible to stop, impossible to want more, impossible to do anything except having my lips locked with hers

I pulled her towards me, my right hand caressing her hair softly as I felt my left hand looking for her hand. They found each other in a second and was tightly holding onto each other, our fingers entertwined as the kiss became more passionate, more intense, more exciting

Suddenly it all stopped

I opened my eyes to see Yumi, her cheeks blushing with a beautiful color that would only match her, that would only make her more beautiful than she already was at the moment. The traces of the warmth from her lips were left on my own, I could still feel it. She then started to breathe heavily, I noticed it and I looked at her more attentively as she slowly smiled at me

"I need.. oxygen" She said

I burst out laughing, being embarrassed for the first time in a very long time, decades.. centuries. I had forgotten about her human needs. She needed air to function. I didn't. I could hold my breath if I wanted to, I could breathe if I wanted too. I wasn't in need of oxygen like I was in need of blood

I smiled at her as I looked at her again, observing her beautiful eyes that was dazzling, glittering with the beautiful color on her cheeks.

It has been a long time, a very long time since I finally felt like a human. No matter how much I fought the un human side of me, the battle within, never had I felt the strong feelings that I was feeling now. I realized what Changmin meant by Yumi being special. Not only was she special, she was more than that. If she was the first human in centuries that was able to wake the human being inside of me, how could I stay away from her?

The attraction that existed from the very first meeting, from the very first talk, it was always there. This kiss confirmed it all. I had to raise my hand and touch her cheeks that was blushing, that had blood circulating as it made her cheeks warm. I heard her heartbeats, they were slowly getting normal but it was still excited for some reason, it was as if I was listening to my own heart.. I would also feel this way.. wouldn't I? If I still was a human..

I caressed her cheek slightly and then put both of my hands, pulling her closer to me as I kissed her once again, more softer, lighter, just brushing slightly and I instantly heard her heart racing once again. It was amazing. It was fantastic to hear it, it was almost as if I was able to control it, start it.. but she was the only one who could stop it. The balance was equal

It felt like the inner organs was exploding. I was surprised, shocked what the feelings were doing to me. But I loved it. Every single part of it. Every tiny little feeling that was connected to Yumi, I loved all of it. It made me feel.. somehow.. complete. As if my puzzle was starting to form

Yumi came closer and I suddenly felt her warmth onto my own skin again and a sigh was heard from me as I felt her caressing me. Our hands were still locked. Her free hand was caressing my face, passing the right eye, down to the nose.. the lips. The jawline.. as soon as her fingertip was caressing me softly there, I felt every tiny hair on my body stand up, my spine was getting chills in a comfortable way as I couldn't help but to enjoy every movement that she was making. It was wonderful.

I opened my eyes again and I smiled at her as she smiled back at me

"There's an attraction.. right?" She whispered

"There is" I mumbled

She smiled at me

"You stole my kiss" She said

I smiled happily and then jokingly raising an eyebrow in a cocky way

"I won't give it back you know"

"I haven't asked you to return it.. yet" She laughed

I rolled my eyes

"How am I suppose to give it back to you?" I asked

"Pay your dues JaeJoong. I'll tell you when you have to pay" She chuckled

I then stretched myself out on the couch as I felt her crawling up close to me, leaning her head against my chest and I grabbed the blanket and wrapped us both in it in order to let her stay warm, me on the other hand was fine with whatever

I embraced her, putting my arms around her as one of my hands was caressing her hair lightly, softly and I could hear her heart becoming normal, her breathing becoming deeper and more regular. She was getting tired

"What does your tattoo's mean?" She suddenly asked

"My.. tattoo's?" I asked

"Yes"

I chuckled

"It's nothing special actually.. Latin is a wonderful language though" I shrugged

"So it does have a meaning?" She asked

"Well.. it stands for the five of us. Me and the guys. They're my family and I cherish them more than anything" I said

"Oh.. your only.. family?"

I sighed as I rested my cheek onto her head and kissed her forehead

"I watched my family.. relatives.. ancestors, everyone die. Year after year, decade after decade. You lose them.. and they all leave you one by one. I have eternal life.. and they don't" I said

"Don't you want to have eternal life then?" She asked, raising her head and looked at me, confused

I sighed

"It's not suppose to be like this. I'm suppose to age, learn.. experience. Not stay forever young and see my beloved ones go one by one. I should also leave this world someday, in the normal way. In the human way" I said

"But it's frightening. You're frozed in time and get to see everything.. which I can't"

"But that's how it's supposed be. You grow up, you get yourself a career, fall in love, get married, have kids, raise kids, get old, age, reflect on your life and then you die. That's how it's suppose to be. The normal way. No one should be forced into something like this. Eternal life, yes it's great in a way but watching every single one you know leave you one by one, you start to wonder when it is your turn" I said

Yumi looked at me for a long time without saying anything. I started to get the feeling that she was thinking something but didn't dare to say it

"Say it.. " I smiled and placed her hair behind the ear

"You want to die?" She stuttered

I chuckled as I couldn't help but find her cute question a but funny

"No one wants to die but we die since this is how life works" I said

"You've tried to kill yourself?" She asked

"Many times. Thousands of times.. but only in vain. Not one single scratch was marked onto my body, no affect at all. So I wasted my time for nothing. It was painful yes, only for the moment but it disappeared a few minutes later on..so in the end I gave up"

"Why would you do that?"

"A vampire.. Yumi.. this is not something you would want to become.. It's like selling your soul to the devil himself, willingly"

"You chose this didn't you? You chose to become a vampire.. didn't you?" She asked

My chest was curled up into a giant ball, or that was how it felt like. If I was able to breathe, needed and had to breathe, I wouldn't be able to do so now since it felt like all the air disappeared, not letting me breathe, not letting me be alive

I looked into Yumi's eyes for a long time, realizing that I would never be able to escape this question from her

I nodded slowly, in regret as I looked away

"I chose this. I made a mistake which I will be forced to live with forever"

I felt Yumi staring at me and I looked at her, not knowing what she would think of me now but.. I wanted to be honest. She deserved to know, afterall we promised her, no lies

"I chose this life and I regret doing so. If I could, I would do anything to take it.. back"