~Yumi~

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I tried to not feel. I tried to not cry. I tried to stay blank, I tried to sleep.

Nothing worked. It just waited for me to have another round of breakdown so that it could come out. I didn't want it to come out. It hurts way too much, it was too much overall to handle.

I don't remember myself the last time I cried like this, suffered like this, Was this how it felt like, mourning someone who used to be a part of your life but was now gone?

Is this really how it is supposed to feel?

Why does it have to be so much pain? So much of everything, the tears, the heart shattering, the desire of wanting to switch places, the desire of wanting him to smile at me. The regrets about my last words for him, what I could have done more and then we had, the if... If I only had watched out for him

"Yumi.."

Changmin's voice reached me in a faraway place, it sounded so distant to me that I was unaware of how close he really was. He kept wiping away the tears that kept on falling, but neither did I sob or cry out loudly, I was quietly crying, hoping that the tears would stop soon

"Yumi.. I'm really sorry"

I looked up, finally seeing him and never have I ever seen his eyes in so much pain like now. Was he mourning Donghae too?

And then my thoughts drifted off over to Yuri. Yuri was nothing than a reckless killing . Why would she make people suffer? Why would she want to revenge on someone who did something to her centuries ago? Cause afterall, she wouldn't be the one who was loosing anything, it would be JaeJoong and yet, she was doing this. Does she know the pain she brought to the surroundings, or was she just selfish?

"I need.. to shower" I whispered, barely audible

Changmin nodded and he helped me off the bed and I felt his eyes piercing my back as I went inside the bathroom. I didn't hear him disappear but I knew that he did go out. I was more than happy to have a few clothes over here and as soon as the warm water hit my skin, I didn't feel the relaxation I should feel whenever taking a shower. It felt like my heart was breaking again, the water being knifes and my body was the target.

I cried again, my tears mixed with the water as I crouched myself into a ball, not feeling anything, not hearing anything.

I started to freeze, it was deadly cold and I started to freeze, my skin protesting against the coldness and so did the rest of my body. I turned off the water and grabbed a towel and looked at the dim mirror that was in front of me. This is how I felt at the moment. Dim, confused, hurt, frustrated, in pain, sorrow, mourning and heartbroken

I dried my hair slowly, trying to feel the warm breeze but no difference was felt. I changed clothes and went outside the bathroom as I was wearing marine blue jeans, a pair of black boots and a tank top along with a cardigan.

I stared blankly ahead, trying to convince myself that everything was going to be okay. Everything would be back to normal soon and all I needed to do was to stay quiet, endure it and take one step at the time

Impossible

I let out a sigh as I decided to go downstairs. My thoughts were once again on Yuri and I had no idea where I should go from here. She's a vampire, I'm a weak and vurnerable human. There was no chance in winning if I would ever want to fight her. I didn't know if I wanted revenge. Wouldn't suffering and regret be more painful to her?

I sighed

I went into the livingroom only to see the guys staring blankly ahead as well. They must have heard me coming down. I approached myself to the couch where I had seen Donghae lying, dead a few hours earlier. The memory of him lying there would never disappear would it? It would never vanish from my memory. I just stared at the couch and soon enough I found a letter

I grabbed it and opened it slowly only to see Yuri's perfect handwritten letter that was probably referred to any of the guys

"This is just the beginning. He's one out of 100"

I lost the control over my breathing, not remembering how it was to breathe, how I'm suppose to breathe in other to function. Junsu and Changmin was right by my side in a second and caught me before I fell down onto the floor

"Yumi!!"

"Yumi!!"

JaeJoong was soon by my side as well as he worriedly looked at me

I kept shaking my head, feeling my heart becoming smaller and smaller

"She's going to kill my friends... my family. And you" I stuttered and looked at JaeJoong and the rest of the guys

"No she won't. We will protect your friends and family" JaeJoong said determined

"It's an impossible task you're putting upon yourself. I won't allow any of you to sacrifice yourself just to protect me" I whispered

"I CAN'T THINK OF ANY OTHER WAY THAT IS WORTH MORE DYING THAN THIS YUMI!!!"

JaeJoong's sudden frustrated shout made me almost terrified. I looked at him as he lovingly looked back at me, regret, frustration, love and concern displaying in his beautiful black eyes

"I love you and seeing you like this is like slowly killing me. I wish I could take away your pain and I'm so sorry for causing all of this to happen" He whispered sadly

I shook my head I continued to cry, It was unstoppable

"I'm just so sorry for everything" He whispered sadly