“It could be worse.”

Jiyong had learned a long time ago that Seunghyun's favorite motto was ‘it could be worse.’

When they were kids, just meeting for the first time, Jiyong had fallen and skinned his knee. Blood flowed down his leg and he had barely been able to hold in his tears. It was a struggle but he would try anyway. He was a boy, boys don't cry.

Somehow, Seunghyun had noticed him falling and helped him patch up his leg. He had noticed the tears that had broken through his resistance and he had wiped the tears away while only saying a brief ‘it could be worse.’

It did little to help the pain of his leg go away, but he had felt a little better.

When they grew older and met again, after bribing Seunghyun to audition for YG, he had heard the phrase again. Seunghyun had been rejected because of his weight. Not because he wasn’t talented, but because he could be considered unattractive. Jiyong had been so upset, so furious at the company who claimed to nurture and develop talent. It made him furious how Seunghyun's head hung low as he clenched the fat surrounding his stomach with two hands.

Jiyong had tried to comfort him, all he had said was ‘it could be worse.’

When Jiyong had been dumped for the first time he had ran to Seunghyun who welcomed him with open arms. The man had held onto him as he cried about losing the one person who accepted him for him and not the celebrity persona he had to adopt. Seunghyun had listened to him carefully, patting his hair, as he complained about the pains of being a celebrity, how no one would ever love him for him.

Seunghyun had calmed him down, hugging and running his hand through his blond locks. When he had stopped, and the tears subsided, he had glanced up at Seunghyun who had a bitter look on his face and whispered a quite ‘it could be worse.’

It had been the first time he had heard it in years.

Thinking back through their history, Jiyong found many times where Seunghyun would tell him that one phrase in order to comfort him. Every time Jiyong had a broken heart, went through a scandal, or was on the verge of breaking down, Seunghyun had been there to hold him, there to tell him that ‘it could be worse.’

“Ji, what are you doing here so late?”

Jiyong focused on the man standing in the doorway of the entrance. It was nearing 5 in the morning and he hadn’t been able to sleep. Lost in his thoughts, he had ended up in front of the man who had occupied said thoughts.

“I couldn’t sleep. Can I stay over?”

Seunghyun still looked confused, completely lost in his hazy mind. Jiyong waited for the man to move to the side so he could enter the home. Seunghyun closed the door behind them, locking it as Jiyong made his way up to Seunghyun's bedroom.

“Hyunnie, can I ask you something?”

The man nodded his head, making himself comfortable in his bed, leaving enough room for Jiyong to crawl into the bed with him. He made himself comfortable, letting Seunghyun wrap his arms around him and snuggling his head under the taller mans chin.

“It could be worse, why do you always say that?”

It didn’t bother him, but he was curious. It had been a while since he heard it but the last time it was said was when Seunghyun had confessed to him. It was awkward, and strained, but Seunghyun had been blunt in his resolve. Jiyong had been shocked, completely stumped at the sudden development but Seunghyun had pushed passed it. The last thing the man said before they had sealed the deal was ‘It could be worse. I could be in love with a man who doesn’t love me back.’

They had been together ever since.

“Because I’m selfish.”

It was shocking, the last thing he would have thought. Seunghyun was selfish?

“All those times I told you ‘it could be worse’ was to remind myself that my own life could be worse. When we first me, ‘It could be worse, his attractive legs could scar.’ When I was rejected, ‘it could be worse, Jiyong could be disappointed in me.’ All those times you came crying to me about your past lovers, ‘it could be worse, I could mean nothing to him.’ I had to tell myself that being a friend isn’t so bad.”

Jiyong listened to every word with an increased heart beat.

“I never said those things to comfort you, I said it to comfort myself. It just so happened that you took comfort in it too.”

Silence settled over the room and Jiyong understood. Seunghyun never said those things for him, the man was selfish, but Jiyong wasn’t sure it was the whole truth. He knew Seunghyun, he knew his heart. Seunghyun was not selfish.

“You’re a liar.”

The man chuckled, holding him closer to his chest. “Only partly. I do tell you that to make you feel better about your situation, but I would always tell myself that when we separated.”

Jiyong's heart throbbed. “You’re such a sap.”

“A sap in love. Now, go to sleep. I have to be up in 3 hours for filming.”

A sap in love.

Jiyong would never admit it, but he was a sap in love too.