“Hey, I’m with you, okay? Always.”

Insecurity-  a feeling of general unease or nervousness that may be triggered by perceiving of oneself to be vulnerable or inferior in some way, or a sense of vulnerability or instability which threatens one's self-image or ego.

Seunghyun didn’t like the word, he had done his best to stay away from the feeling. There weren’t many things in the world that made him question certain things but as he watched Jiyong mingle in his small group of friends, he couldn’t help it.

He wasn’t the jealous type, he was far from it, but the lack of attention he had received from his lover had caused a sense of doubt that he had never felt before. He felt as though Jiyong was losing interest in him but was unwilling to end things. It was the cause of this insecurity.  

All he wanted was a little attention, just a small portion of Jiyongs focus. A smile, a wave, even one of those half hugs he gave to people he didn’t like but had to maintain professionalism with.

Honestly, Seunghyun would give anything to be on the receiving end of the smile Jiyong was giving to the new man Soo Joo had brought into the mix. A tall man, an inch or so taller then him, sharp features, and a sharp gaze to match. His smile was flawless, as was his skin, and his outfit matched Jiyongs completely.

From an outer perspective they looked good together. If they were a couple Seunghyun would be envious of how good they looked. Since he was the truthful other half of Jiyongs relationship he just felt insecure.

“Hyung, what are you looking at?”

Bom's voice broke his thought and he smiled at the older woman. She was a welcome distraction to his hectic thoughts. He widened his eyes to convey feigned innocence and Bom chuckled at the attempt. It had been a while since the two had a serious talk but the woman was always able to read him like a book. Out of all the women in the agency, Bom was the only one he viewed as an actual sister. Well, her and their cordi.

“Nothing really.” He held his cup to his lips as he answered.

She looked skeptical of the answer, brushing her long hair over her shoulder to sway behind her.

“Right, that’s why you look like you’re about to cry.”

Crying would do him no good. He may have been overly emotional due to the lack of sleep,  extreme filming, and loneliness he had felt for the past few days but he couldn't cry. Not in public, not with model man present.

“Hyunnie, is that all you’re going to drink?”

Seunghyun flinched at the voice and he kept his gaze focused on Bom. She took a sip of her champagne, shifting her eyes between the two of them. He didn’t want to look at Jiyong right now, not when he was in his feelings.

He shouldn’t be his insecure.

“Hyunnie, are you not going to talk to me?”

“Go talk to your new model friend.” Sometimes he wished there was a filter between his brain and lips. “You two looked good together.”

He turned to walk away, leaving the other two dumbfounded, before either could give a proper response.

.

Jealousy- an unhappy feeling caused by the belief that someone you love likes, or is liked by someone else.

Seunghyun put his glass down and moved to grab his coat. Jealousy wasn’t a good feeling to have, not at the moment. His eyes flashed over the handsome face of the stranger as he moved to say goodbye to the host and he walked out of the home.

The air chilled him and he wrapped his coat tighter around his frame as his breath showed in front of him. He hated winter, he hated being cold. Had he brought Jiyong with him he could wrap around the other in attempts to maintain some warmth but that didn’t happen.

His eyes searched the parking lot and he felt relief as his managers van pulled up to the door. He had texted the man 15 minutes ago to come get him. He and Jiyong had ridden with SooJoo and model man.

That man had been the center of Jiyongs attention since the car door closed and his seatbelt clicked on. Seunghyun took a deep breath and got into the manager's car.

He greeted the man, apologizing about the time. It was late and the man had a family he could be with. Seunghyun instantly felt bad for his feelings. Maybe he was being selfish.

The other side of the door opening left Seunghyun in stunned silence as a blonde man sat in the seat next to him. Jiyong looked just as cold as he had felt. Why was Jiyong there? He should have stayed with his friends.

“Anyone else?”

“No hyung, you can go. Hyunnies house.”

Silence was how they rode. Jiyongs steady gaze was on him while he focused on the passing lights out side of his window. It was awkward and Seunghyun hated it. More than feeling insecure or jealous, he hated the awkward atmosphere.

Arriving at his house, he thanked his manager and rushed out of the car and into the warmth of his own home. At this rate he was going to get sick and he couldn’t afford to. Filming would pick up again in two days so his health needed to be top notch.

“Are we going to talk about what you said?”

Seunghyun ignored the voice following him as he took off his coat, tossing it on the couch in the living room and loosening his cuff links. Seunghyun didn’t even know why he put an effort in his appearance if Jiyong wasn’t really looking at him.

“What did you mean by that?”

“Mean by what?”

Jiyong huffed in irritation. He tossed his jacket on top of Seunghyun's and flopped down on the couch in front of him. Seunghyun didn’t know why he felt the need to undress in the living room instead of going into his own room.

“About me looking good with him.”

“Just stating what I noticed.”

“I don’t like him, you know that, right?”

No, not at the moment. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe he was blowing the whole thing out of proportion and his imagination was just running wild. He scoffed at the thought. It can’t be an imagination if he witness Jiyongs attraction to the guy in person.

“Sure.”

“Seriously, Seunghyun,” sincerity in his voice was slightly overwhelming, as though Jiyong was begging him to believe him. “I like you, not him, never him.”

“You have a funny way of showing it. You didn’t pay any attention to me, at all. I stayed in a corner all night because you found Mr. Model way more interesting than your boyfriend.”

He was acting like a child, it was embarrassing, but his feelings were still his feelings. He left that house feeling neglected and unloved. Seunghyun wasn’t a fan of any of the feelings he had that night. Jiyong was really messing him up.

Jiyong stood to his feet, cupping his cheeks with his tender hands. He forced Seunghyun to meet his gaze and Seunghyun felt trapped in the light browns of his lover.

“Hey, I’m with you, okay? Always.”

It was as though the bam broke as all of his insecurities packed up and left. His body relaxed at the one phrase from Jiyong and he felt pathetic as well as pride. It was true, Jiyong had left with him, JIyong had chosen him. Those lines normally didn’t work in these situation but Seunghyun trusted Jyong enough to believe him.

They were together, and they would stay together. Always.

In which I'm official 23, I finally updated, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

Comments are welcome, as always.