"I- I can't be with you for now. I need time to think. You hurt me. I love you Tiffany." Those 4 sentences she had said crushed my feelings and all emotions I have ever felt overwhelmed me. 

"Taeyeon. I'm sorry." Taeyeon lead her hand to the doorhandle but backed up after I apologized.

"I can't accept your apology right now. Please don't contact me in the next time." Her hand wandered again to the door to open it but instead the door stayed close.

"Open the door." She said rather sternly, her hand still on the handle. 

"Listen to me. Please stay. I can explain everything." 

"Open the door." Taeyeon tried once again to open the door but decided to stop and turned around. 

"..." I held in the pain that spread through my cheek. Because of the slight but painful slap in my face I felt the blood rush and warmth there. 

Even though it was a moment of silence we both didn't notice that someone tried to get in from the outside, typing in the password several times without success. 

I immediately got out the keys and unlocked the door. Before Taeyeon went out she gave me a short but meaningful kiss. In the meantime Yuri and Jessica were going wild that I was home again and shook my arm but I didn't mind them at all. The only thing that mattered for me in that moment was the long awaited and missed kiss between Taeyeon and me.

"I'm sorry." She mouthed, caressing make cheek with a distressed but enraged expression in her face. She stepped out of my apartment and left the building without looking back at me. Leaving one saddened and two confused people behind we asked ourselves the same questions. 

'What did just happened?' 

"Taeyeon!" Jessica yelled, running outside to follow the oldest. 

"tiff?! Are you alright? Are you hurt somewhere? What happened?" Yuri roamed my body with her hands as my mind went blank. I stared thoughtless at the door, not able to process what just happened. 

Taeyeon's mood took a turn in just 2 seconds. First she slapped me like some crazy but went a moment later to the caring and considerate Taeyeon I knew, loved and - believe it or not - valued. She was the first who could pull a trigger inside me to love her to the fullest - but - she was the first person ever whom I cheated on. I felt so bad. There were so many things she did for me, so many things to make me happy, so many things she did because she loved me. 

And I? I did nothing at all. Just spread terror here and there. Lived out my usual selfish , not caring about the people around me or thinking about what they feel like when I act like that. In their stead I would think that I was insensible, inattentive and thoughtless. I thought it by myself already. I was insensible, inattentive and thoughtless. Sometimes I asked myself why people tend to like to hang out with me when I'm such an awful person ... Like I had money and the looks but did people hang out with me at all costs even though being at risk that I'll hurt them? Do people care about money more than their own feelings? I couldn't think of another reason to be with me but how could Taeyeon endure it for so long? I knew Taeyeon loved me ... But I didn't know that it would go to the point that she accepted all my flaws and bad corners I had. 

"Tiffany speak with me!" I inverted my attention to Yuri and looked at her. My eyes were on her but my mind was elsewhere. 

"Let's sit down." She grabbed my wrist and dragged me towards the couch. First, Yuri sat down and then I was pulled down to lay my head on her lap. 

"Yu-" she shushed me and touched my hair with gentle . 

"Tell me if you are ready." 

"I cheated on her." I confessed brief and to the point. A second later I found myself laying on the floor because Yuri pushed me down from her lap. 

"WHAT?!" I clutched onto my legs and curled up to a ball. 

"I- I cheated on T-Taeyeon." I sobbed putting my face in the gap between my chest and knees. 

"Sit up. Sit up Tiffany." Still curled up she sat me up rather roughly.

"Look at me." I did as Yuri said and lifted my head. She had an angry but relieved expression in her face. Relieved, because I was back but angry, because... 

"Don't mention that name with that dirty mouth of yours!" The pain of Taeyeon's slap turned down but inside me it still remained. But the physical pain came back as soon as Yuri swung her flat hand towards my cheek. 

"You never cheated on someone. How come you did that with Taeyeon? Taeyeon is ... Or was probably the only who loved you for who you are and not for what you have. I'm disappointed. I'll get going. I don't want to be in the same room as you." I shifted against the shelf behind me and nodded. Deep down I was hurt by her words but I had no choice but to accept what she said. 

Yuri turned around and took her coat which she managed to take off when I had my mental breakdown.

"I hope you can reflect on what you did." Yuri voiced out before she left my apartment not looking back at me. 

-----

"I don't know what to say Tiffany." Hyuna said. It was already 5 days, 8 hours and 39 minutes ago since I've seen Taeyeon the last. Let alone my friends ... They didn't contact me or visited to check if I was alright. I knew Hyuna would be on my side and wouldn't turn her back at me. In fact she had a sense for justice, what was wrong and what was right but she always managed it to hold in her temper and state her opinion in a calm and gentle way. 

"I love Taeyeon. I miss her. I don't want to be apart from her. I hate myself. I want to be with her but I don't deserve her, right?" In the last days I gained my composure back but the feeling of being hurt and lonely still remained.

"Don't say that ...  instead look at your room ... And you. When did you shower the last time?"

"Hm" I plainly answered. I was aware of the numerous empty fried chicken boxes and the tissues from my several crying jags. My room was as messy as my mental and physical condition but I didn't want to do anything against it. I had absolutely no motivation to do anything but breath and turn in my bed ... Not even for work. For the first time since I've established the company I took time off. 

Of course it didn't go unnoticed by my father. He visited me as soon as he heard of it. Fortunately, it was in the first days in which I didn't eat at all. That means that I told him I was simply sick and needed to stay at home. He took my lie ... Well, it wasn't a lie actually. Actually I was somehow sick but I didn't mind since I was sure that it wasn't something serious like always. He took my "lie" and told me to get well soon before he left. 

"So do I need to relocate my work from the company to your apartment?" Hyuna asked as she stood up picking up the trash. She sighed and groaned a few times before she spoke up again. 

"Didn't you try anything to make her forgive you?" 

"I did." 

-----
[TAEYEON] 

At the same time. "Holy ! What is all that?" Jessica asked.

"What do you think it is?" 

"D-did Tiffany g-g-give you all this?" This time Yuri asked. I sat down on the little space that wasn't taken up by any of Tiffany's gifts and looked at the couple, still standing in the door frame with widened eyes. 

"No wonder your apartment smells like you grow a field of roses." I put the bouquets of roses, plush toys and pralines on another pile of presents to make space for YulSic to sit. 

"This is so cute seobang. Why don't you give me roses or teddy bears or-" Jessica voiced out but was cut by her girlfriend. 

"Because I didn't cheat on you." Yuri plainly answered kicking away the bouquet in front of her.

"-pralines. Why are you guys so harsh? Can I eat these?" Jessica took the box of sweets which I put away just a moment ago and sat sideways on Yuri lap so she could face me. I nodded in response and leaned back as I closed my eyes. It was a hard day for me ... Just like the other 5. I never was apart from Tiffany so long since we got into a relationship. Whenever I woke up wanting to kiss her I realize that she was not beside me .... It made my heart really hurt because I craved for her warmth, the melody of her soft voice and her lively laugh and that eyesmile ... My heart thumped fast when I thought about her eyes turning to crescents reducing her eyesight but increasing the loveliness. Seeing her eyesmile made me as happy as her kisses. The surprising kisses Tiffany snatched on my lips or when she fluttered a kiss on my cheek and looked away in shyness made her even more adorable and cute than she was already. Thinking about those moments the picture of her kissing that girl barge in my mind and wrecked my beautiful thoughts about her. 

Tiffany didn't love me enough to value my trust and love for her. I thought she changed. I thought she changed for the good but it turned out that she was still the player that I knew from the beginning. Why was I so stupid and fell in love with her? People didn't change but I thought they would ... I just put too much faith in the relationship with Tiffany. I put too much faith that she'll be different with me but in the end she played with my feelings just as easy as the hearts of the other girls. 

"Wooaaah, look at that!" I broke out of my thoughts and looked at Jessica. Her widened eyes and gapped mouth told me that she was surprised ... Surprised in a good way because who wouldn't be happy surprised to see that. 

"This is so cute." Jessica held up the box of pralines to show us what exactly she thought is cute. The box contained pralines with letters on them which formed words and sentences. I didn't read the letter because I was afraid to give in and give her a second chance easily. My pride was hurt when I caught her but in the same time I really loved her and would've forgive her as soon as she sent me the first bouquet of roses. I was debating inwardly what weighed more: pride or emotions? My emotions would win over pride because I love Tiffany more than anything but my pride would win over emotions because I have a lot more pride and didn't want to seem easy. Easy in the sense of that no one can sway my feelings from here and there and nobody should play with me. But at the same time ... It's Tiffany ...

"I didn't read it." I said. 

"Yul. Read." In the corner of my eye I saw Jessica turning the box to her girlfriend. My head was directed towards my phone but every once in awhile I stole glances at them awaiting a reaction so I can draw myself a picture what the letter said. I observed Yuri and noticed that she tried hard not to show any sign of weakness. 

"I- um ... You should read it Taeng." 

"I don't want to." I answered. 

"Taeyeon, if you really love her ... Why don't forgive her. Of course, it is not right to cheat on someone but you see ... She regrets it. She wants you back. She wants you to forgive her ... Tiffany loves you. It's not like she cheated on you for the tenth time. It was the first time in her life time that she cheated on you and it was the first time she ever cheated on someone as well. Look at all these roses. You stored approximately 500 roses in your living room and numerous other presents. If you don't want to be with her anymore why didn't you throw them away? I didn't contact Tiffany for the last 6 days because I was just as angry as you are. I want to know how she feels but I'm sure that she feels terrible, terrible for what she did and that you are not waking up next to each other anymore. Sooyoung told me that she wasn't even at work since then. Tiffany took time of from her work and that's not like I know the diligent and hardworking Tiffany. Right now she is Miyoung. Grownup Miyoung who gets to feel the same as she felt 17 years ago." Jessica voiced out supporting Tiffany's side.

"She needs to learn her lesson." In contrast Yuri supported my point of view turning away from Jessica's opinion. This issue brought both of them into different opinions for the first time since I've known them. YulSic were inseparable and were in sync whenever it came to food, movies or problems but this time they were nearly fighting each other what made me more indecisive than I was already. How am I supposed to get to an decision when I had an battlefield of different point of views in my head. 

"Yuri, don't be harsh. You both know that Tiffany is not like that ...  she is a lovely, honest and kind person." 

"But also selfish, thoughtless and clingy." 

"Try to put yourself in Tiffany's situation. You love your girlfriend so much, that's me by the way, and you somehow cheated on me. I would act like Taeyeon. I don't reply to your texts, I'm not thanking you for the presents and ignore you like I don't even know you. How would you feel? If I were in Taeyeon's place I would forgive Tiffany. You do see that she makes an effort, right? she regrets it and wants you to forgive her."

"But you were not in Taeyeon's stead so you can't know what she wants." 

"Says you!" 

"Yeah I did say that ... Do you have a problem?" 

"Well, the only one who can decide what she want is Taeyeon herself. Taeyeon! Why don't you say anything?" I was surprised that both of them suddenly looked at me expecting a precise answer. 

"I-I don't know."

"What do you not know?" Yuri frowned and tilted her head to the side like a puppy. 

"I don't know what to say, what I think and what I want to do with Tiffany." 

"Just go back to her." 

"Break up with her." Jessica and Yuri said in unison. The couple looked at each other with fierce gazes, I knew this was the moment to jump in and prevent a chaos. 

"Hey hey hey ... Guys ... Just give me some time and I'll see what I want." 

"5 days past already. That's enough." 

"But-"

"I have an idea." Jessica cut me off and walked towards the pile of giant bouquets before she took one." 

"What do you feel when I do this?" Jessica lifted up her arm and smashed the beautiful arranged roses on the floor. I was shocked and surprised at her sudden action but I didn't want to let it show ... But I did when I stuttered my way through the answer. 

"I-I- n-nothing. I feel nothing" she took another one and was about to throw it again when someone was ringing the bell.

"And no-" I got up from my seat to grab the door but Jessica was faster and ran there. After a few minutes she came back with loud groaning. A big box from behind the corner was revealed that didn't fit the width of the door so Jessica couldn't go any further without shifting the box elsewhere. 

"What's that?" Yuri asked.

"What do you think it is you idiot. It's a present from Tiffany again ... I guess." 

"Open it."