dont get your hopes up ;)

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'Must be something like a closet.' I thought as I fumbled at the wall to find the switch for the light. 

"Do you *sniff* even know *sniff* anything about this building?" She said as she switched the light on. It was an old storage room that still had a string as switcher. I looked around and the room stored records or something. Probably records of my employees doings. I saw 3 boxes with the big letter 'A'. The least I saw was 'z'. It didn't even fill half of the box. 

"I didn't lock the door just so you can enter freely." 

When she spoke again I swayed my gaze to Taeyeon who sat on an inverted red bucket, resting her cheeks on the palms. I kneeled down and wiped her face that was stained with tears. It was cold when I touched it, she must've been crying a lot. It proved to be true when she looked a little bit up so that the light was shining more in her face. Her eyes were swollen and red. It broke my heart. I had a weird feeling in my stomach. More evidence or hints were piling up on the I'm-in-love-with-Stephanie-hwang-miyoung pile. This time it was obvious that she cried because I had a little fun with Hyuna but I wanted to hear it out of to make sure. 

"Why are you crying Tae?" I asked as I brought her in my warm and caring embrace. I felt her shaking head in my arms. I let go of her and went to the same eye level again as Taeyeon. I watched her wiping the tears away as fast as possible in embarrassment. She still looked beautiful. The wetness let her face glow and parts of it were more prominent than ever before. Her cheekbones were very defined as well as her jaw. Her nose was cute and small wherefore it didn't throw a big shadow. 

"I-I-i-" 

"First calm down Taeyeon." I whispered, her hair.

"You don't need to tell me. Don't rush things. Breeeaaath." She did as I said. She slowly inhaled and exhaled to stop her sobbing. 

"I-I can't-t tell you. I'm sorry." Taeyeon let her head fall and hid her face in the palms. I wanted to hear it but sadly she didn't want to tell me. But what was more important is that she shouldn't cry. I felt bad for making her cry. 

"Hey..." I said as I took her head between my hands and lifted it. Her eyes were closed trying to suppress her falling tears. 

"Hey, look at me Taeyeon-ah." She hesitated but decided to open her eyes. My worried gaze locked with her eyes that were filled with sadness and fright. 

'Why do you look so scared? Am I scaring you?' I thought before I spoke again.

"It's okay, don't apologize. You don't need to tell me if you don't want to. I'm curious but I won't die because you don't tell me, do you hear me?" She nodded and closed her eyes again. I saw a tear escaping and wiped it away with my thumb. I felt Taeyeon backing up from my caring and gentle touch. Never ever was I rejected so many times in such short time besides when I was with her. Taeyeon was very interesting. Her mood changes were no joke. It kind of confused me because I really didn't knoww of how she really felt towards me, some things were signaling me that she felt the same as me but then a moment later she feels uncomfortable and pushes me away as if she hates me...Like how?

I tapped Taeyeon's face with my sleeve to dry it and get rid of the salt trails. I hugged her again and it turned out to be a little longer than intended because she started to struggled to get out of my hold. The only problem was that I didn't let go instead I forced her to endure it, the outcome was positive: she returned my hug and patted my back as if I was the person who needed to be taken care of.

It's just noon but my day was officially ruined now. How can I continue to live in peace when I saw pain in her eyes, when she cried, when I hurt her, when I was the reason behind her sadness. Every tear that fell, my heart shed a little piece as well. I didn't want to see her like this. I knew her since my birth although I had no contact with her 2/3 of my life. She was one of the most important persons to me and to go one better I also loved her. I didn't love her only as sister but also in a romantic way. 

"Come lets go. Hyuna is waiting for me..." I facepalmed myself in my mind. I really put my foot in it! 

"...because *ahem*..." I had to think of an excuse since I didn't want to hurt her more than I already did.

"Don't say anything okay? I saw enough." 

'Ouch' This was half of a confession and it satisfied me, more or less, because now I was sure that I was the trigger for her sadness. I grabbed her hand to pull her out but as soon as we stepped outside I let go of her hand but in the same time she yanked hers away with the same thought as me. I walked back to my office when I noticed that Taeyeon wasn't next to me. I turned around and saw her almost running in the other direction. I ran after her and pulled her back by the blouse.

"Nuh uh. This way." I said coldly. I pulled her to her desk and let go. I turned to her the last time and saw her tugging the blouse back in her jeans. I started to walk to my office without saying anything. Sooyoung and Hyuna were looking at me from the waiting room through the glass wall. Sooyoung confused but Hyuna smirked.

I opened the door in annoyance as I rolled my eyes ready to get investigated by them. 

"She even cried. Wow tiff, what have you done?" Sooyoung asked but wasn't answered because Hyuna was saying something provocative that I got distracted from Sooyoung. 

*clap* *clap* "I thought Taeyeon is straight tiff? she is way too obvious that this is not the case. Just confess to her, she is just waiting for it." The latter than excitedly nodded her head in agreement and showed me a thumb up. 

"Wait what? No. Hyuna. No. Sooyoung. Just no. moreover did she tell me that she is bi." 

"oh, she said it to you in order that you realize that you have a chance. You love her and she loves you." My heart skipped a beat at the last part. 'She loves me.' The tingling feelings in my stomach were so strong that I put the hand on my tummy.

"Even a newborn would see it. How can you be so dumb?" 

"Yah, me and dumb? I'm the -"

"...Great Stephanie Hwang miyoung, yeah we know it, no need to say it again. But no matter how great you are, you are still dumb Tiff." I knew what Hyuna did there. She wanted to provoke me and make me invert her statement as I confess to Taeyeon. I was aware of her doings but I sensed some truth behind of what she said. Taeyeon gave me signals that I always denied. I always said to myself that she probably was like that to other people too. I didn't even know why I did that but maybe I really should consider to confess. This won't take an end when nothing between us happened and still remain with the feeling to have each other around.

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08.05 pm. Now that Hyuna and Sooyoung gave me their blessings I felt very confident that she'll say yes. I sat in my office and looked out of the window for like 3 hours, watching and observing people. Since it's almost Christmas the streets of Seoul were beautifully decorated with lights that were either green, red or white. 

Although the autumn was slowly taking an end it wasn't cold, people were enjoying the fresh and nice air that was topped off with the vibe of Christmas time. Not only this year but the last years too I noticed particularly couples walking around happily warming their hands for each other and having fun as if nothing else existed in the world. Actually this time around the year I saved my time up to spend Christmas with my family so I always broke up with my girlfriends to make it possible. Yes, I knew that's cruel but this time it was different. I craved for someone, someone who I could spend Christmas with who is not blood-related, someone I can be happy with, someone who'll make me happy, someone I can make happy but especially someone who sincere loved me for who I am and fight for me no matter how hard it is for us, someone who'll cherish me as much as I cherish them. Someone who will not take advantage of me. 

And I was sure I can find my happiness in that someone who's called Kim Taeyeon.