One Man~

First Love

At the hospital, Jihyo had woken up and Kwangsoo had fell asleep sitting on the chair next to Jihyo's bed, as he was tired from taking care of Jihyo. Jihyo gently Kwangsoo as he was in a deep sleep. As the events at the airport replayed in her mind, she couldn't hold back her tears anymore. Her heart ached as she cried silently, trying not to wake Kwangsoo. Jihyo clutched her heart as her tears slowly rolled down, she was not aware that Kwangsoo was now awake from her sniffing and sobs. 

 

Kwangsoo: Noona... Are you okay...? Please don't cry noona, don't cry...

Jihyo: Oh? You're awake...? Kwangsoo-ah...

Kwangsoo: Noona... What's the matter...?

Jihyo: I... I can't... anymore... it just... it hurts so bad...

Kwangsoo: Noona... please don't be like that... please...

Jihyo: I don't wanna live anymore... I can't endure this pain Kwangsoo-ah... this torture... I can't handle it...

Kwangsoo: Let me noona, let me share your pain with you... Let me stay by your side to help you forget Kun Yang hyung...

Jihyo: Kwangsoo-ah... I can never forget him...

Kwangsoo: Noona... Please... Don't ever think about dying or doing anything stupid to yourself... You still have your family, your friends and yourself to think for. Promise me... No matter how much it hurts, you won't ever try to kill yourself...

Jihyo: ...

Kwangsoo: Noona... Please... I beg you...

Jihyo: Okay... I promise... I promise you...

Kwangsoo: Thank you noona... thank you so much... I can never lose you noona...

Jihyo: Kwangsoo-ah... Come...

Kwangsoo: Onto the bed...? But this is the hospital noona...

Jihyo: Please... Sit beside me... I hate feeling alone...

Kwangsoo: Noona are you sure...? 

Jihyo: Yea... Just come Kwangsoo-ah, I wanna snuggle into you nae kirin (my giraffe)... I need your comfort...

Kwangsoo: Okay noona

 

Kwangsoo climbed onto the hospital bed and sat himself next to his noona, he wiped off her tears and wrapped his arm around Jihyo. Jihyo leaned on his chest, trying to gain comfort from his embrace. Kwangsoo gently her head and sung "I believe" to her. He peeked at Jihyo who was now asleep, he lightly caressed her face as he observed her red nose and swollen eyes. He hated to see Jihyo hurt like this, but even with her puffy eyes, she was still the most beautiful person to him. Confirming Jihyo is alseep with his touch, he sadly looked out the window and spoke softly. 

 

Kwangsoo: Noona... I... I dunno if I should say this to you... You know before, whenever I had any problems, I would always come find noona, you would always be here to listen to me... Remember...? These days... its getting difficult not being able to share this with you... Its just that... There is this girl... A girl who captured my heart long ago, I've just never got the chance to tell her. This girl... there is someone she loves so badly, and it is not me... I wouldn't mind to watch her from afar... forever... If that means she could be happy... But it turns out... she was hurt so much... When seeing her get hurt... it hurts me even more... I wanna make her happy... but what can I do when I don't even have that special place in her heart...? I try to joke around so she can smile from time to time, even though I know it isn't a real smile... but its better than nothing right...? But... I can't bear it... I can't bear to see her hurt like this... Noona... what should I do...? Noona, at a time like this... you'd usually give me some advice yeah? You'd also ask me who this girl is... You'd say you will find out whoever makes me so sad, right...? Noona... do you wanna know who she is...? This girl... she is so special to me... So promise me you will never hurt her again... this girl... even when she is lying in my arms right now, I know her heart is not with me... I'm sorry noona... you can pull my hair if you want... but... this girl... is you Jihyo noona... 

 

Kwangsoo was already crying, he wiped his tears before they dripped down his face as he was afraid it would wake his noona when they drip onto her. He stayed silent and calmed himself. He looked at his noona once again. 

 

Kwangsoo: But noona, if you just want me to treat you as a sister, then I'll just hide my feelings forever, I am willing to do that for you noona... if that is what you want... Allow me to sing you one last song, will you noona...?

 

Kwangsoo soothingly sung Kim Jong Kook's "One Man", sincerely meaning every single word in the lyrics from the bottom of his heart. 

 

"It must've been a long time. Long enough for these words to become colorless.

Even if I just see your eyes, I know everything,

Like your friend, like your shadow.

 

We must've been together always. When you're having hard time and you are sad,

even when you're lonley. Holding onto seperation a bit longer,

Even when I'm hurting to wipe away your tears..

 

There's a man. Who loves you so much.

There's a man. Who can't even say I love you.

By your side I put my hand out and

at a path were you can always reach me

I, who cherishes you more than myself, am with you.

 

To make you laugh, I think of only that and

When and where ever you are I'm watching you and missing you.

And who worries of only you,

 

There's a man. Who loves you so much.

There's a man. Who can't even say I love you.

By your side I put my hand out and

at a path were you can always reach me

I, who cherishes you more than myeslf, am with you.

 

For the thousandth time I swallow and again for ten thousandth time I try to set

everthing straight. I want to tell you. I think I'm going to go insane but.

I want to embrace you all at one but...

 

There's a girl, who doesn't know I'm like this.

Who receives love but doesn't even know that it is love.

Leaving you, who is as foolish as I and sad,

At this moment tears come but I'm happy.

It's because you're by my side."

 

With the very last tear, he drifted off to sleep, holding Jihyo tightly in his arms. 

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Misa_1412 #1
Chapter 56: And i would believe the always if gary hadnt disappeared on the members
Misa_1412 #2
Chapter 55: HA!so proud of mongji she sure showed her!
Misa_1412 #3
Chapter 51: This is what happens when a parent cares more about family status rhan theur child's happiness i hope kwang soo never talks to his egg donor again
Misa_1412 #4
Chapter 50: See???kwang soo isnt a minor and the contract is under his name so she shouldnt get a say but kwang soo is too nice to fire the manager for someone who knows that a contract signed vetween him and kwang soo is different from a contract signed between him and kwang soo's egg donor
Misa_1412 #5
Chapter 48: This is one time i wish kwang soo wasnt such a nice person, a less nice person would have shot an ultimatum back or refused to ever see their mother again or something like that but not kwang soo
Misa_1412 #6
Chapter 42: Ugh i hope kwang soo's mom sees and feels how miserable she just made her son and i hope someone leaks the info so everyone will bash her and shell know how it feels
Misa_1412 #7
Chapter 27: This chaptwr shows what i can never understand, how can they call themselbes fans by hurting someone their idol cares about?like gary in your fic(after his actions i cant really claim this anymore in real life) cates for ji hyo so hurting her would hurt him too and also how can they be fans when they dont even respect their idols choicrs instead going this far just to push what they want on their idol
Misa_1412 #8
Chapter 26: So nice to see RM family i do kinda miss this just the OG members being family
Misa_1412 #9
Chapter 22: Really good chapter kinda wish it was a real episode
Edyta23
#10
This story is really good :) I love KwangMong and I'm waiting for more stories about them from you. Do you plan new story? Fighting!