-Must be relate and relevant to the story. -> 2 marks = 1

-Appealing. ->1 mark = 0

-Must be followed by the genre of the story. -> 2 marks = 2

To be completely honest, the title isn’t that appealing to me. It is relevant to the story but I don’t really get why there’s a need to put three full stops after ‘Love’.

 

Poster (8/10):

-Not messy. -> 1 mark = 1

-Relates to story. -> 3 marks = 2

-Matches with the theme of story. -> 3 marks = 2

-Has the characters that's in the story. -> 1 mark = 1

-Catchy and interesting. -> 2 marks = 2

I actually like the poster. The main characters are there, even the grandpa which is a good point because he really plays a part in the story. But I kind of wish the pictures used for Aaron and Guigui were different – maybe both of them with their backs against each other? I mean they like to fight so much. But I really like how you put Aaron like the prince he is in the story. So good job!

 

Characters (3/5):

-Good info used for characters. ->1 mark = 1

-Info mentioned clearly and easy to understand. ->2 marks = 1

-Needed info are given. -> 2 marks = 1

You didn’t really introduce the characters clearly. Examples would be Jerry and Ella whose characteristics weren’t really explained. We only know that they’re her boyfriend and best friend, but we don’t really know their history.

 

Description/Foreword (18/20):

-Easy to understand. -> 5 marks = 5

-Has included the info that's needed and didn't spoil much of the story.  -> 5 marks = 4

-Had made readers wanted to continue reading.  -> 5 marks = 4

-Good used of info.  -> 5 marks = 5

The description/foreword was nicely written. It gave us readers a summary of what to expect from the story. I would have given you full points if it wasn’t for the fact that it spoiled the story (re: the second teaser in the foreword). And also it’s because of the misspellings and incorrect uses of tenses.

 

Plot (22/30):

-Didn't copy story from others but base on their own storylines.  -> 5 marks = 3

-Has used creative ideas in story.  -> 5 marks = 3

-Matches with the theme/mood of story.  -> 5 marks = 4

-Good used of characters.  -> 5 marks = 4

-Catches readers attention and is interesting.  -> 5 marks = 3

-Connects to the description.  -> 4 marks = 4

-Follows on the story very well.  -> 1 mark = 1

Unfortunately I have read a lot of stories like this where the girl has to go somewhere far and then meets a boy who looks like a prince but is very conceited. They used to hate each other in the first few chapters until one day they seem to suddenly like each other because of something one of them has done. However, it doesn’t stray from the story which is good.

 

Spelling/Grammar (10/20):

-Has correct spellings and no error. -> 10 marks = 5

-Good used of adjectives. -> 10 marks = 5

As much as I enjoyed reading your story, unfortunately you tend to switch from past tense to present tense. It’s actually one of my pet peeves when it comes to stories. Below are some of the mistakes in some of the chapters:

 

Error: Right after I got off the plane. I quickly go to the pick up area to get my luggages and walk out the gate.

Correction: Right after I got off the plane, I quickly went to the pick-up area to get my luggage and walked out the gate.

Reason: Incorrect use of punctuation and tenses, and misspell of the word ‘luggage’.

 

Error: Does they know each other? What is their relationship? A bunch of questions keep on popping in my head.

Correction: Did they know each other? What was their relationship? A bunch of questions kept on popping in my head.

Reason: Incorrect use of tenses.

 

Error: "Ok" I said as we headed inside the big no a giantic building.

Correction: "Okay," I said as we headed inside the big – no, the gigantic building.

Reason: Incorrect use of punctuations and misspell of the word ‘gigantic’.

 

Error: "How come?" I asked. "You'll know what I mean when you get there. I'll help you get there but you have to let me go first before you knock on the door k?" she said. "W-Why?" I asked scared.

Correction: "How come?" I asked.

"You'll know what I mean when you get there. I'll help you get there but you have to let me go first before you knock on the door, okay?" she said.

"W-Why?" I asked scared.

Reason: The first reason is misspell of the word ‘okay’. And the second one is you combined three paragraphs into one which is incorrect because the first sentence was spoken by one person, and the second one by another person.

 

Error: He look at me for a second then burst out laughing like a crazy miniac.

Correction: He looked at me for a second then burst out laughing like a crazy maniac.

Reason: Incorrect use of tenses and misspell of the word ‘maniac’.

 

Overall enjoyment (7/10):

-Always having the reader’s attention. -> 5 marks = 4

-Story isn't boring but very interesting to read. -> 5 marks = 3

I admit I enjoyed reading it. But as I have mentioned before, the plot is almost the same as every story out there. So it’s not as interesting.

 

Total Marks (71/100):

I’m sorry for giving you such a low mark. But don’t take this to your heart because you can use this review as pointers to be a much better writer than you are now. Just keep writing and read other stories as well.

Effort: C

 

Reviewed by: deedee48 

 

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A/N: So yeah~ I got a C.....

I'm sad...but you know, I'll get over it sooner or later.....

Well, still thanks deedee48 at Unique Dream for the review!!

Oh! And sorry guys, this is not an update! I'll try to update but I would have to get over my grade first though....