Characters: Hyejeong, Chanmi [side] Yuna, Mina

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 1006

By: HYOYEONzxc

A/N: How can I just notice that there are no Hyejeong x Chanmi stories at all?! 

Chanmi doesn’t know how to love. She doesn’t know anything about loving someone. She has her six members whom are like sisters to her that she loves, but those are just sister love. She wants to know what real love feels like. Thus, she always goes to Yuna, who is currently dating one of their team members, Mina. Chanmi always wonder how it will feel like to have someone to love. She often thinks, isn’t it annoying to be tied down? Isn’t it troublesome to have to tell someone everything that you do? Isn’t it tough to commit to someone?

Chanmi always gets this feeling like a thousand butterflies flying around in her tummy when she’s near this someone and she hates it. Is that what love feels like? If it is, she doesn’t want to love. It feels weird, to Chanmi. Does that mean Yuna and Mina always get this feeling whenever they’re around each other? Don’t they feel uncomfortable?

“Won’t you get bored with Mina unnie?” Asked Chanmi once. “When you learn to love, it’s gonna be different.” Replied Yuna.

Will it really be different when Chanmi finally learns what love is? Her parents weren’t good role models for her as they divorced when she was young. They didn’t end on a good term which made Chanmi felt scared since then. What will happen if she doesn’t get along well with her future partner? Will they end up like her parents?

What if love isn’t what Chanmi thinks it is?

“Unnie, how does it feel to have someone loving you?” Chanmi asked Mina on one of their breaks during practice.

“Hmm, everything feels like it’s blooming. You get this exploding feeling in your chest whenever that person talks to you. You look forward to talking to that person every day.” Mina answered with Yuna in her mind.

They stayed silent for a while as Chanmi tried to register what Mina told her in her brain.

Mina broke the silence, “Are you in love with someone, maknae?”

“I don’t know.”

Chanmi’s mind is spinning. Everything Mina had said is exactly what she feels whenever she interacts with that someone. Is she in love?

“Are you having any troubles?” Mina asked, she could tell Chanmi is struggling with what she is feeling inside. She is more than happy to help the youngest member in their team. It will be more than just happiness if Chanmi fell in love with someone. “Do you want to tell me about it?”

“No.” With that, Chanmi ran back to her room.

In her room, she watched her cat, Remi sleeping with his favorite toy. Chanmi tried taking it away but Remi clutched onto it tightly, refusing to let go even in his sleep. No matter how hard Chanmi tried to take it away from Remi, he doesn’t let go.

“Is that what loving something or someone is? To never let them go no matter who tries to take them away from you?” Chanmi thought, before she touched his head affectionately and went to lie on her own bed. She pulled her blanket over her body and closed her eyes, trying to catch up on her sleep which she lacked the past few nights.

Five minutes into trying to fall asleep, Chanmi sat up, and covered her face. She can’t stop thinking about that someone. She has obviously been running around Chanmi’s mind all day long and Chanmi hated it. She’s going to talk to her about what she’s feeling. If telling that someone about how she feels will make her feel better, then she will. She can’t live with this feeling in her tummy and in her chest, forever, can she?

Chanmi walked to the living room, there was only one person there, and that’s Chanmi’s someone. She is watching the television, Chanmi figured it was a comedy film because even though she couldn’t hear her laughter, she could see her body shaking from trying to stifle a laugh. She walked nearer and nearer, until she is just right behind her.

“Hyejeong unnie,” Chanmi called out, and Hyejeong turned behind, her facial expression reads shock.

“Chanmi, you’re awake? I thought you were sleeping, that’s why I didn’t turn on the volume too loud.” Hyejeong puts the snack away and pulled Chanmi next to her on the couch.

“I… I couldn’t sleep.”

“Are you okay? You look down lately, do you have anything that’s bothering you?” Hyejeong asked while she puts her hand on Chanmi’s forehead, afraid she might be sick.

“I hope I can talk to you about this comfortably, unnie, I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.” Chanmi approaches the topic carefully, to see what Hyejeong’s reaction could be.

“Sure, you can talk to me about anything.”

“There’s this feeling in my tummy that I’ve been feeling every time this someone is around me, and honestly, it feels funny.” Chanmi looked up at Hyejeong, and the older girl didn’t have any reaction. “Are you okay? It’s okay to just walk away if you don’t feel good.” Chanmi said again, but Hyejeong held Chanmi’s hands and gave her a nod, telling her to continue.

“I asked Mina unnie and Yuna unnie, and they said they had this feeling when they were around each other before they started dating, and they still get this feeling some times. Whenever this someone gets close to another person, it feels like one of my heartstrings got tugged and sometimes it hurts so badly that tears threaten to fall out of my eyes.”

Just then, Hyejeong lets go of Chanmi’s hands and walked away. Chanmi was confused for a second, but after that, she figured it out. She figured out everything. And then she learned something, she learned that loving someone is hard. Loving someone hurts. Loving someone only causes her heart pain and buckets of tears, and she will never want to love again. She never wants to get those feelings she’s been getting this period.

Chanmi doesn’t want to love someone, not anymore.