Characters: Kim Seolhyun, Shin Hyejeong

Genre: Angst

Word count:  1750

"You're beautiful, and that is all you deserve to be."

"You. Don't deserve these scars."

Cutting. What comes into your mind after hearing this word? Maybe the child-like side of the brain tells you the verb 'cutting' is actually 'cutting vegetables' or 'cutting wood' or whatever the object is, it involves cutting. But the other side? It's something you maybe had considered of doing it. On your wrist. You cut your wrist. You make scars on it.

When you feel the world doesn't know you exist anymore, when you actually still do. When you feel really down, really down.

It could happen anytime.

-

"Tch, look at that girl. What a nerd. You don't deserve to be here." said a tall, muscular boy at the hallways to a girl who's always quiet, yet kind of anti-social, if you could say. Everyday, she gets these kind of words, attacking her. Both emotionally and physically. Like, from everyone in the university does this to her.

She could feel her legs and hands getting weak and having the urge to cry. Not having the power to fight back. She unusually does that anyway.

What did she decide to do as a sign of giving up?

Cutting. Being suicidal.

-

After a usual day full of people bashing/bullying, she goes to the university's dorm quietly, without making any sound, only her footsteps could be heard. She was wearing her favorite indigo coat, with an oversized hoodie so she could hide her face. Also with an oversized sleeve so she could hide her sign of giving up. Her physical scars, yet she have emotional scars too.

She got inside her room and shut the door with a slight bang. She took off her coat and hang it behind the door. Right away, she went in her favorite place. More like her place to sacrifice herself, to make herself feel bad, whatever. The bathroom.

She took out the tool to carve those scars on her skin. She aimed it on her left arm, she closed her eyes as if she was painting on a canvas. She held her breath as she 'painted' on the 'canvas', as it is carving a wide-open scar. She groaned a little, taking in the pain. Few seconds later, she opened her eyes as she saw her bloody 'painting'. And yet her tears flow along with the blood flowing out of her skin. Then she put the blood-stained 'paintbrush' in a secret place.

The girl looked at her reflection on the mirror. She mumbled, "Why are you so skinny, Seolhyun? You even have scars everywhere on your body. People don't know you exist anymore." Then, she startled when she heard the door creaked open, hearing some cheerful laughs. It's coming from 2 girls.

"Mina-ya!! Why are you following me to my room??? Go with Jimin unnie!!" the first girl laughed.

The second girl spoke up, "Why do you come to my room yesterday too?? You're only there to steal snacks, so I'm here to do the same." she chuckled lightly.

Seolhyun peeked a little behind the bathroom's door, "They look so happy.. Why can't I be like them?" And she recognize the first girl, it's her not-so-close roommate, Shin Hyejeong. The friendliest, intelligent yet the girl who most boys has a crush on. She don't really consider herself lucky to have her as a roommate, anyway.

After a few moments of kiddy fights, that 'Mina' girl is gone to nowhere as Hyejeong plopped on the couch, doing whatever her thing is.

Seolhyun walked quickly past Hyejeong, trying to avoid her. "Hey, Seol. You went home early today." Hyejeong said, not even looking back. The younger girl jumped a bit, and replies it with a simple 'mm'. "Sit here, please?" Hyejeong looked back, and Seolhyun unhesitantly obeyed her.

Hyejeong stared deeply at Seolhyun's eyes, "We haven't stayed like this before, huh?" Seolhyun quickly avoided the eye contact, "Y-Yeah." She doesn't realize that she's not wearing a long-sleeved clothing, so it reveals all her scars, even the freshest one with blood still flowing.

The older girl noticed her scars. Her eyes went so wide. "Seolhyun!!! Why are you cutting yourself???!!" she asked with a loud voice, feeling terribly worried. Even tears start to form on her eyes.

Seolhyun has no choice, either if she talk, her secret will be revealed. If she didn't talk, Hyejeong would stay like this for the rest of the day.

"I--Yea--Yes, I've been cutting myself." she admitted after forever. Hyejeong can only sigh out of desperation. 'Why didn't I knew this a long time ago? Her scars are so many... She must've been cutting for a long time.' she thought.

"I know this hurts. But it hurts me more when you do it." Hyejeong said, but receiving no respond from the younger girl who's lowering her head. Hyejeong moved closer, and lifted up her chin, revealing her puffy eyes, but she has a really beautiful face.

"Wow, you're beautiful. You don't deserve to be like this, Kim Seolhyun. You're beautiful, and that is all you deserve to be." she said, carressing Seolhyun's smooth cheeks with the pad of her thumbs. Nothing really made her tears flow down so easily before she saw Seolhyun crying.

"Awww, don't cry. I'll motivate you to not to be like this again, ok?" she wiped Seolhyun's tears. The girl still stayed quiet despite all the sugar-coated words Hyejeong said. No one has been doing this in her life. Hyejeong does this all for Seolhyun.

-

"Seolhyun, You. Don't deserve these scars." Hyejeong said, as she reveals Seolhyun's scars start to dry up, with no more blood flowing unlike a week ago. As they got closer and got to talk everyday, Hyejeong felt unexplainably happy when Seolhyun said she stopped cutting.

Around 4 PM everyday, the 2 would talk about being suicidal, cuddle, drink hot chocolate and Seolhyun would cry a bit from Hyejeong's emotional words.

In the next 3 months after healing, Seolhyun totally became not suicidal and stopped cutting. Not even a single student bullies her again, and yet she became best friends with Hyejeong and her friends. All she wanna do is to thank Hyejeong. For all.

Seolhyun entered her bedroom, where Hyejeong is currently working on her presentation. 

"H-Hyejeong..."

The older girl turned her head, "Ah!  Seolhyun! What is it?"

Seolhyun's heartbeat started to race. "U-Uhm.. May we have a talk for a while?"

"Sure!" Hyejeong patted her bedsheets, asking Seolhyun to sit on it.

"So, what do you wanna talk about?"

The nervous girl gulped. "Uhh...You know, how I'm being suicidal few months ago.." Hyejeong nodded attentively. "A-And I just want to thank you for motivating me to not to be suicidal. Urm, thank you, Hyejeong." she admitted as she feel her cheeks and ears getting hot.

Hyejeong proudly smiled. She can't explain how happy she is. "You're welcome, Seolhyun. I'm doing this because I don't want to lose my lovely roommate. And I love you." she Seolhyun's hair.

The younger girl's cheeks turned bright red. 'I love you?? Did she just said that to me??' she was in a pool of thoughts.

"Hey, why are you quiet? Oh, why are your cheeks red?" Hyejeong waved infront of Seolhyun's face. Seolhyun startled and awkwardly laughs.

"I-I love you too. You saved my life. Thanks for everything Hyejeong." she said before she put her face close to the other girl, both could feel each other's breath. Until their lips has a gap of less than an inch. Seolhyun leaned in quickly, feeling Hyejeong's warm lips as she smiled. Both are so happy to have each other.

-

Time/Date:  4 PM / 21 October, 2014

Location:  Suwon International Hospital

"Hyejeong, you need plenty of rest. Your heart is getting worser day by day...Please don't go and just stay here." the doctor said to Hyejeong who was soullessly lying on the hospital bed. Tears were just about to flow. It feels like she's about to lose her mind. She's just wishing Seolhyun was here. With her parents - with all the people she love.

Until her world turns dark - pitch black.

She fell into a coma.

-

Time/Date:  2 PM / 13 December, 2014

Location:  Seolhyun's university

"Alright, please come forward for your presentation, Kim Seolhyun." her college teacher, Mr.Hwang called out.

Seolhyun walked nervously, plugged in her USB in the laptop and it shows her baby picture. The presentation was about her life. An autobiography. She began to explain her whole life and all the unforgettable events that happened. With squeals and laughs 'decorating' it. But then, it comes to a part where she had to suffer the most. She talked aout her being bullied, until she decided to do cutting.

"...And then Hyejeong motivated me to not to be suicidal, without her, my life wouldn't be like this." she paused as she was being in the verge of tears. She bite her trembling lips, trying so hard to smile. But she just can't. It's the part where Hyejeong came to her life.

"....Unfortunately... Hyejeong passed away because of heart failure few months ago. She died while being in a coma. I never knew she has a heart disease, so.." she closed her face with her palms, silently crying. Hyejeong's best friends at the back is also crying too. 

"I-i just, why wouldn't I know she has a heart disease? Without her, my life wouldn't be like this. Thank you very much Hyejeong." she ended her emotional presentation, receiving big applauses and warm hugs.

-

Seolhyun walked slowly towards a tombstone, with words

'Shin Hyejeong, daughter of Mr. Shin Ho Kwon and Mrs. Dong Yoon Ji, 1993-2014'

written on it.

She stared at it for a long time, feeling all the pain and sadness. Her lips was trembling, and she had no will to just pray and leave. She wanted to stay. Forever.

"Hey, Hyejeong." she called by the usual way she would call her.

She a forced smile formed on her face. "L-Look, I bought you flowers." she handed it out and crouched down, gently putting the flowers beside the tombstone. "Do you like it?" Tears begin to flow just as she heard no answer. Obviously, no answer.

"I'm sorry for everything, Hyejeong. I've made you worried. But after all, I still love you. so much." she said, carressing the tombstone.

She stayed holding the tombstone for a long time,

before she goes home with a tear-stained face.

-end.

[A/N: heyyy!! long time no see ^^ so here's an angst seoljeong, and i'm so sorry if you don't like the storyline... that's just how angst goes. and the names i used for hyejeong's parents' names are FAKE AND NOT REAL. so yeah i hope you like it :D]