41

Illiana

Bits and Pieces

PREVIOUSLY IN THE STRANGER NEXT DOOR

I gasped, there was a spider next to me. I could’ve screamed. I put my hands in front of my mouth and tried not to scream. My eyes were fixed on Kyuhyun. I could drown in his eyes but that spider was keeping me from doing that. We made eye contact again. To the manager he must’ve looked like he was daydreaming. The Manager waved his hand in front of Kyuhyun’s eyes.

“What is with you guys, is there something else then Suzy you hid from me?”A sudden move from Kyuhyun. He killed that stupid spider with his hand and was now leaning against the wall probably with the spider crushed agaisnt the inside of his palm.

----- (5) Where Am I? Who Is Kyuhyun?

Wait, maybe? Could it be? Sam? Nah, Sam wasn’t free yet. Than who?

--- (33) I'm Here Don't you dare let go of me!

“He will not get his revenge” I whispered in tears. “He will not get it” I managed to look in Seojin’s eyes. He signalled a couple of doctors and nurses to uphold the young man who was coming up to us. Shim brought me back to my room. Rapidly. Letting me sit on the bed.

--- (39) Come Back Home

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” I shrieked. I held up my hands in front of my mouth. I didn’t know I could scream that loud.

Suzy ran in the room.

“What’s the matter? What’s the problem, where is the fire?”

I pointed at the wall. Something big and scary thing came crawling from behind the painting. “sp-sp-sp-SPIDER AAAAAAAAA” there was this huge black spider on the wall. Someone needed to smash that evil creature. I hated spiders. Even my amnesia couldn’t make me forget my phobia of spiders.

“Yah, Li, is that all?, it’s just a little spider, it’s not even as big as a pencil point.”

“IT’S BIG ENOUGH KILL IT, GET IT AWAY FROM ME. BEFORE IT STARTS TO BITE ME”

Suzy came to me. “It’s just a little animal, tell me again how you survived in Congo all this time?” she stared at the ugly big sized creature, when was she going to move and kill the damn thing. This was taking to long, what if it attacked me?

"I had Lucas to kill them for me, trust me he shows no mercy. JUST KILL THE THING IT's COMING WAY TOO CLOSE"

“I’m sorry, little friend”

B A M

She smashed her hand against the black spider. “Happy now? It is splattered all over my hand, thanks” She sarcastically said. “Do you want to see it?” Waving her hand in front of me. “You better reward me.”

I sprang off my bed. “EWWWW, Get that thing away from me, don’t show it to me.” But than something hit me. Someone did this before. I got a vague image of someone I was looking at, shushing me to be quiet, and he killed the ugly spider with his hand. Those eyes, those eyes that haunted me the last few days in my dreams, it were the wolf’s eyes. Those beautiful friendly brown eyes. But from who, the more I tried to remember, the more blurry it got. I tried so hard to make the blurry image sharp. The more I tried the more pain followed. The image I had was blurry brown hair, manly, definitely taller than me.

I plopped down on the floor with my hands on my head. Terrible headache. Heavy breathing. I was sitting down with my head in between my legs. I was screaming it out from the pain. But I needed to remember, I had to remember. When Suzy’s voice finally got through my thoughts, She was panicking.

“Li, Li are you all right? LI STOP IT” Suzy came running from the other side of the bed. “LI?  MOM?”

Mrs Jung came in, she ran up to me so fast, than she squatted down next to me.

“Suzy, what did Doctor Shim tell you? What do we have to do?” A panicked Suzy was trying her best to remember. “Suzy, NOW”

“Massage her temples, you have to massage her temples” The soft hands of Mrs Jung replaced mine. Where did she learn this technique, it was more effective than the technique Doctor Shim had used.

“shhhh, Illiana, sshhh. Illiana dear, relax, don’t try to remember, relax.” My whole body became numb. I was surrendering to Mrs Jung massaging technique.

“Illiana  honey, how are you feeling?”

“Keep doing that and I might fall asleep” I said enjoying her touch. She stopped and smiled at me.

“I think you are alright now. Look at me.” I looked up to see everyone’s shocked face. My brother had run in, he looked so frightened.

“What happened?” Suzy asked carefully

“Is she ok?” My brother’s voice was so little, so scared.

Mrs Jung nudged Suzy over and She went back to my brother.

“Li?” Concern was readable all over her face.

“If this is what it feels like, to remember something, I don’t want to remember anything at all than.”

“Li tell me, what happened?”

“I was in a room, behind a door, white painted walls I think, looking in someone’s eyes. There was a spider besides me and he killed it with his bare hand, just like you.” Suzy started to smile.

“OOO God, that’s a good thing Li., That is a thing that happened 7 months ago.” She sighed in relieve. She hugged me. “it’s all going to be fine” She ended up saying while my hair.

“I think I scared Lucas pretty bad” wiping the tears of my face. My throat hurt from screaming.

“I think you better go to him … OO I got to take this” Her phone was buzzing in her pocket

“hey, no everything is fine …. Don’t worry … Tell him she’s ok … you have to know -----“ and she went out of the room. When I finally stood up again. I went out of my room too. Suzy wasn’t in the apartment anymore. Where did she go?

Mrs Jung was in the kitchen.  I placed myself on a chair at the table.

“I’m sorry I scared you guys.” Mrs Jung was cooking dinner.

“Illiana dear there’s nothing to be sorry about, just don’t frighten your brother that much.”

“Where is he?”

“In his room, go to him.” Mrs Jung pointed at his room. Without a word I went to my brother’s room.

“Lu, can I come in?” I knocked on the door while opening it.

He was sitting on his bed, tapping away on his phone, the logical thing was to think that he was playing a game. I went to him and sat down on the edge of his bed. He looked at me with his big blue eyes.

“A-are you ok?”

“I’m fine now. What were you doing?”

“euhm playing a game” I could see he was lying to me. His eyes were avoiding mine.

“Lu, I’m sorry I scared you.”

“Are you going to be like that a lot?” His whisper was full of angst.

“I don’t know, maybe, 6 months is hard to get back when you miss bits and pieces.”

“So…euhmm”

“Lu, I’m going to be fine.” I ruffled his hair “Don’t worry about me so much”

ZZZZZ ZZZZZ ZZZZ Lu’s phone went off.

“Lu, tell me honestly, you weren’t playing a game, were you? You were texting somebody, weren’t you?” To all the questions he nodded and he still didn’t look up. “Who were you texting?” Suddenly he looked up, figuring out what he was going to say.

“Friend?” He asked the answer more than saying it.

“Why do you get all nervous? It was just a question; if you’re texting a friend it’s fine. What’s wrong with you?, you’re so mysterious over whom you have contact with.”

“I’m not nervous” He told me with a shaky voice. “It’s just …. You see ….. aish … I can’t tell you even if you want me too, even if I want too.”

“yeah yeah I know, I have to find out things on my own.” I ruffled his hair. He shot me an angry look.

“SIIIISSs, stop ruffling my hair, I need to look good.”

“You have to look good to sleep?” He nodded and I cranked up a smile. “Come on, Mrs Jung is preparing dinner, let’s go help her.” He stared at me and smiled to.

At night I was looking up at the sealing, I couldn’t sleep, better yet I didn’t really want to sleep cause every time I fell asleep I see those eyes, I had those dreams with the same endings. Was this going to be the only thing I could remember of this person? It didn’t make any sense. I closed my eyes but it didn’t help much anyway. I was restless, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I ended up sitting with my back against the wall, resting my head against it. This was going to be a long night. I was thinking about the other guy I saw in the hospital. I didn’t know him and still I yelled *get him away from me* This was helpless I hated it not remembering stuff and than again no one told me how I ended up in Seoul. Without knowing it I banged the back of my head against the wall.

“Illiana? Do you know how late it is?” Someone said.

I looked around in my room, no one was here, so where did the voice come from? Was I hearing things now, too? I was going mental, wasn’t I?

“Euhm, whoever you may be, please go out of my room” I said gently. “please” I added softly and a little scared. Hoping what I heard wasn't real.

“Li, I’m not in your room.”

“GOD, I’m going mental. I’m hearing voices. Than please get out of my head.” I slided a hand over my face. This wasn't happening, amnesia and going crazy.

“No you aren’t, I’m not in your head either”

What was this Candid Camera? Or a Ghost? Was I being punk’d? Awesome, bully the one with memory loss, real funny guys. Was he under my bed? I sat up and looked under the bed. He was in my closet, wasn’t he? I crawld out of my bed and went to the closet, opening it carefully, you never knew what may jump out of it. No one was in there.

“I need to sleep more. I’m hearing things that aren’t there.”

“haha Illiana, you’re perfectly fine”

“How can I be fine, when I hear you, you’re not in my closet nor under my bed, you probably won’t fit in my bag and you’re telling me I’m fine, where are you?” I looked around my room, still wanting to see something move. It was so creepy.

“I told you before, I’m not in your room, nor am I in your head. I’m Next door.”

“that’s impossible”

“No it’s not, there is a hole in the wall under the art picture. I’m your neighbour.”

“you sure? Wait how do you know there's a painting in my room?”

“Yes Li, I’m your neighbour, I have my connections”

“And I know you? For real?”

“Yes, we bumped into each other once in a while”

“I’m sorry, I don’t remember” I didn’t want this person's feelings to get hurt, but I didn’t have a clue of who he was.

“It’s ok, someday you will, and I hope that day comes soon” Was he down? I think I hurt him by saying I didn’t remember. Was my relationship that special with him? My head started to hurt a little, I needed to stay calm and focus on something else before it is going to explode.

“So what are you doing up? It’s like 2am in the morning.” I couldn’t sleep and apparently neither could he so maybe a start of conversation would let time tic faster.

“I couldn’t sleep”

“neither could I.”

“So how are you really doing?”

I shrugged my shoulders, he couldn’t see that. “I don’t know, I feel kind of lost.”

“lost?”

“yeah, Like, I’m starting to remember bits and pieces of the 6 months I forgot but every time I want to remember this one person with the crazy beautiful dark infinite eyes, my head starts to explode. I don’t think I can take it much longer.” I sighed the last part.

“Try to take it just a little bit longer, for what I’ve heard, you're remembering a whole bunch.”

“That’s true, but the headaches are killing me and I hate it when everyone shuts their mouth when I’m in the room. They even avoid telling me who he-who-shall-not be named is.”

“You sound like a Harry Potter movie.” 

“yeah I know it’s better than calling him anonymous. I just wish someone would give me a head start on things. And why am I telling you this?, I don’t know you. Do we have some kind of relationship with one another?”

“We kind of do”

“So tell me about it” I wanted to know so badly, just once maybe someone could tell me what sort of bond or something I had with them.

“Li, I’m sorry, I can’t tell you that, you have to find out things by yourself. It’s not that I don’t want to tell you, it’s just that …”

“Really, you too, I hate this, this is absolute torture, everyone knows except me. Everyone is telling me to find out for myself, just once I want someone to tell me directly.” I swung my hands in the air.

“I know, I’m sorry”

“whatever, no one is going to help me anyways. Even you, I don’t know you and you’re not even telling me”

I didn’t say a word after that. I just sat there on the bed. No one was ever going to help me. But still that wasn't a reason to take it out on him.

“hey you still there?” I asked after 5 minutes.

“uhu” He sounded sleepy.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure” His voice was so cute right now. I laid myself down, hugging my second blanket.

“Can you help me? To find out who this person is? You know the one with infinite dark eyes.” I silently asked looking up at the sealing with my hands on my belly.

Why wasn’t he answering?, it was just a question.

“Can you come with me tomorrow and see if I can find some memories back.” I tried, still no sound. “Did you fall asleep?”

“No”

“Than why didn’t you answer the questions?”

“I can’t come with you, I have to work”

“It’s a Sunday tomorrow. And you have to work?” I raised my eyebrow, not that he would see but this sounded suspicious.

“I have work to do on a Sunday. I’m sorry”

“Fine” I was getting mad and I didn’t know why, I'd blame it on the headache. This person that I didn’t even know had rejected me and that was totally fine, who would take my offer as he was a stranger to me. But still I was  mad he wouldn’t come. “If you don’t want to come just say it. Don’t make stuff up like I have to go to work. It’s Sunday, no one has to work on a Sunday. Unless you are a waiter or running a restaurant or something.”

“I’m not a waiter nor do I run a restaurant.”

“Than come with me.”

“ask Suzy” I didn't want to ask Suzy, Suzy was keeping shut about like everything.

“aish, I’m going to bed.”

“Li, are you mad?” I didn’t answer off course I’m mad. I felt like he was the only one who could help me and he bluntly rejected me + I got a bad headache that wasn't helping the problem. I didn’t answer I just stared at the ceiling.

“Li?”

He could call as much as he wanted to, I wasn’t going to answer his call. Maybe I was being stubborn. But I really felt he was lying to me. I looked at the clock, 2.30am.

“Li? Really, you are going to be mad at me for not going with you”

Yes, sure I am.

“Aish, Li, come on.”

Not answering, ignoring you. I kept looking at the ceiling and the more he called the harder it was to ignore.

It was like ten minutes ago since he called last. I looked at the clock again. 3.05am. Really he had been calling me for like 20 minutes and now it’s silent. Dead silent.

I coughed, trying to figure out if he was asleep or not. I got no answer.

Fine, great, be like that,  I was going to sleep. I wasn’t tired. But I had to sleep once and although I feared I got the dream with wolf again. I closed my eyes.

“Li?”

Running through the woods, side by side with the wolf and nothing had happened yet.

“Li—i?”

I got behind because some tree was blocking my way. I was now running behind the wolf, he was showing me places and we ended up at the apartment building. This apartment building.

“LIIII-iiii??”

Was he going inside? But someone grabbed me from behind, making my wolf grint his teeth

The person was shaking me. “I’ll get my revenge”

“Liii-iii, Come on”

I was so confused, the wolf was ready to attack the person when another one grabbed my wolf, holding him.”

“LIIIIIII?”

“KILL THE DAMN THING, Eric!” wait that was Sam’s voice. “ETHAN WILL YOU LET HER GO.” The person who was holding me let me go with a hard push in my back. I was ready to go to my wolf, but I got grabbed by my pulse by Sam. Sam was dragging me away. I was so close to my wolf. Saving him for once. I hoped.

“KYU!”  “LI”

“No, Sam please let go.” I saw them snapping my wolf’s neck. AGAIN. Why did the poor animal had to die over and over and over again?

“KYU snap out of it”  “Li, WAKE UP”

I sprang up in bed only to see a big eyed very worried Suzy sitting on my bed in front of me. 

“Sam, Eric, Ethan” I whispered.

“What?” Suzy still sitting wide eyed on my bed not knowing what was going on.

“Sam, Eric, Ethan” I repeated and looked at her.

She didn’t understand what I was saying.

“3 names, 3 persons: 2 looked alike, the other doesn’t. Sam, Eric, Ethan”

She was so confused. “eeuuhh? Okay?” She held her hand to my forehead probably checking if I hadn’t had a fever or something. “Are you feeling ok?”

“I’m perfectly fine.” Suzy’s phone buzzed.

“Why is he saying the same names as you?” She almost said inaudible, busy texting who ever texted her.

“Who is he?” She wasn’t paying attention to me.

“Ky…….” She started and than realised I was there “No one important.” She went back to texting.

“Not again.” I sighed

“Why are you saying those names? Sam’s in jail, Eric I have no clue who that is and Ethan gave you nothing but trouble.”

“I will get my revenge.”

“Euuuuhh? Okay”

“It sounds so familiar.”

“Why?”

“Ethan said it in the dream, He killed the wolf, because Eric couldn't do it.”

“Wolf? Li, you are really sure you are ok? You are making no sence at all”

“Wolf with dark brown human like eyes, sparkle every time he sees me. Crying every time Sam hurts me.”

“Kyu? OMG Your dreams are connected, he’s the wolf” She whispered, I guessed before she even knew it. She clasped a hand in front of and looked at me.

“Kyu?” I repeated, it triggered a sudden headache. I rubbed my forehead.

“Forget that I even said that”

“No, Suz, you got to tell me more now. Who’s Kyu? Is he someone important to me?” My head started to really hurt now.

“Li, don’t think about  it, forget about it”

“I want to think about it, I want to know, You are going to tell me.” My hand started to shake.

“I’m sorry, please Li, you’re going to go in shock again, stop it.” 

“I want to know, Suz” Everything shivered. Just like when you get cold on a very cold winter day. I was trying to get an image in my head but all I got was blurry sides., not even forms just colors.

“Li, stop it, Li come on, you’re hurting yourself, stop it.” I could see Suzy’s eyes watering.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry” She said “Stop it” I could feel her hands on my temples trying to massage them but she was shivering herself and she was to rough, she hadn’t got the technique Mrs Jung or Doctor Shim had. “I’m sorry” She cried, her tears falling down, “I’m so soryy Li.”

“OOOMMMMMAAAa” she yelled through her tears. And in a blink of an eye Mrs Jung was by my side, “WHAT HAPPENED?” She almost yelled angrily at her daughter trying to get her hands to replace Suzy’s. “Suzy-honey, let go, let go, go to Lucas, I don’t want a redo of last time.” She pried Suzy away. But she was still standing in the room with her hand in front of .

“SUZY, NOW”

Suzy went out of the room with one stop at the door, “I’m sorry, this is all my fault isn’t it?” She repeated for the nth time.

“Illiana-dear, calm down, breath, Everything is going to be fine.” Mrs Jung massaged them softly and after a while I calmed down. “There that’s better” She slowly removed her hands.