17

Illiana

Operation : AIRPLANE

I’d managed to deliver my portfolio in time –with a few seconds to spare-. I went to the library, tried to ignore all the stares I got and searched the net for our pictures.
​It was already spread around the world. Great now he’ll really think that’s what I wanted.

The last words of him were such a torture. They still repeated in my head over an over again.
 

This is what you wanted, right? I thought you were different.
 

I really wanted to make it up with him, to tell him he wasn’t set up by me. But how could I? This was almost a month ago and today was his last day and concert here.
 

I called Suzy.
 

“Suz, I have this big favour to ask you”
 

“What is it Li?” She sounded worried.
 

With some hesitation I started.
 

“I want to go to the last concert of them. I really need to talk to him.”
 

“Li, it’s been almost a month since you guys spoke. Do you really think it’ll be a good idea?”
 

“I have to, Suz.”
 

“He will not talk to you, you know that right? The others won’t either, or more consequences will follow, although I think they might believe you.”
 

“I just have to, I’ll find a way, just get me in the concert. Please?”
 

I heard her sigh. “I guess, alright, but be careful and don’t let him do stupid stuff ok? You know he will do something, if he knows you are there.”
 

“Suz, I have to try and I came up with an idea.”
 

“Fine” She sighed again. "Wait, what for an idea? Illiana? YAH! Don't do stupid things."

I hung up the phone without saying another word, otherwise she would talk the idea out of my head.

I knew it was wrong to ask her for such a huge favour. The last concert was really hard to get into, or so I heard in school.

The doorbell rang. Suzy was at the door. She didn’t look all that happy, more concerned than mad though.
 

“Hey, so you can get us in?”
 

“Sure I can do what ever I want with this pink card, but I still think I’m doing more wrong than good here.”
 

“I’m trying to get his forgiveness.”
 

“Okay, try whatever you want, I’m not taking responsibility here.”
 

I took my box, with my grand idea in it and went back to Suzy.
 

“Li, didn’t you forget anything?”
 

“What?” I raised my eyebrow, and turned to look at my bestie.
 

Suzy pointed inside “Lucas”.
 

“oww right, well he can come with, can’t he?”
 

​“the more the merrier” she said sarcastically.

“Li, what’s with the box?” Suzy asked when we were in the car.
 

“It’s my big idea.”
 

“Sis, spent her whole day on it” Lucas said from in the back. “She like folded a lot off …”
 

“Lu, don’t you have a game that you could play?”
 

“She folded what Lulu?” Suzy asked sweetly.
 

“airplanes, like 30 to 40 airplanes.” Yah, you call yourself my brother, you snitch
 

“Li you gonna throw them on stage?”
 

“Yep” I said resolute.
 

“I think I get it now, your sister wrote messages on them, right Lu?” She took a look in her rear view mirror to look at him.

“uhu, I helped” He had this smile on his face, I just hoped he wrote what I gave him, he wouldn’t know Korean so he just had to copy what I wrote on a piece of paper.
 

“AA, Lucas you know my car is full of surprises, you can press the green button over there and an Xbox will come out, you can play games by choosing them with the yellow button.”
 

“hahah COOL” Lucas said happily. “I would love this car if it wasn’t pink”
 

We laughed with that.

We arrived at the concert hall.
 

“Lucas, you wanna play that inside? You can take it with you, you know. I’ll take you backstage, while your sister can enter the venue.”
 

“No way, this is so cool.”
 

“Yeah, don’t get used to it buddy.” I ruffled his hair and saw Suzy ran off with him, all the way to the backstage.

I was in front of the stage, I was so nervous I almost couldn’t move. Suzy was beside me. She said she had put Lucas in one of the rooms backstage. He should be no trouble.
The concert began we weren’t in the front row this time, but we were close enough.
The concert was half way through and there was a talking moment. So at the fans that circled around me (it was dark so they didn’t recognised me), I had asked if they wanted to help me throw those airplanes on stage. I made sure they didn’t read them. So now was my chance I gave them a sign and we threw the airplanes on stage. My box was half empty now, I hoped one of them would reach Kyuhyun. I saw Yesung picking one up, yes I did some research the past few days in learning their names and a few facts.
Yesung showed it to Ryeowook. No one else was near. Eunhyuk came running, cause all those airplanes in the air, they would’ve been noticed and one of them would have been curious.
Eunhyuk picked one up. He looked around, was he searching for me? I had a hoodie on so I pulled my hood/head gear over my head so I would be less noticeable. Than he looked at the other the direction and Eunhyuk ran to the other side of the stage where Kyuhyun was. I saw him handing over the airplane. Kyuhyun opened it. I saw his shocked face. He ran in my direction but he looked right over me.
Suzy next to me said, before we threw the airplanes, she was to noticeable so she went backstage.

When the song started they were all on the main stage. I had a couple of airplanes left. So I decided to let them be thrown by various fans in the audience. So two fans on the right threw them, three in the middle, two on the left side. I saw Kyuhyun picking up another was, I was on the right side. He was in the middle. He kept searching for me. Lee Teuk came up to him and looked at the note he had in his hand. Lee Teuk was shaking his head. Kyuhyun understood the sign and putted the piece of paper in his back pocket. I wasn’t paying attention to what the others were doing.
Suzy came back, she found me rather quickly. Than I got a feeling of angst, a rather strange feeling I didn’t want to be here anymore, I couldn’t talk to him although I was very determined. This whole plan was stupid anyways, I need to go home, I can’t stand it anymore, I don’t have the courage to go through with it. I felt so unsure of what he would say to me, probably he would say that he never wanted to see me again. He didn’t seem happy with the airplanes either.
“Suzy, we have to go, I thought I was ready to talk to him, but he didn’t seem very happy with those airplanes.”
“What now?, you put this whole plan in action and you want to leave now, God you know you’re crazy right.” She rolled her eyes.
“Come let’s get Lucas, and let’s get out of here.”
I putted Lucas to bed and went to my room. So much work to do for my big project tomorrow. I just laid down on the bed, staring at the ceiling. What else could I have done? I should’ve stayed and talked to him after but I chickened out.
I didn’t even realise it was morning, the sun shone brightly in my room. I woke up in the same position I laid on the bed yesterday.
“Illiana, Suzy’s on the line.” I heard Lucas yell.
“I’m coming, I’m coming.” I said in very husky morning voice. I cried last night before I went to sleep. I wasn’t the fierce Illiana I was before Africa. I went downstairs and Lucas gave me the phone.
“Yes” I said in a husky voice.
“Li, you sound horrible.”
“Thanks, I feel horrible.” You know those old phones with a cue, yeah well we had one and I started to twirl the wire around my finger.
“So, Why did you want to leave yesterday? What happened to that master plan of yours?”
“I got scared, I chickened out”
“Yah, Kyuhyun’s been calling me none stop, you know. It’s very annoying. Buy a damn cellphone already, He wanted to talk to you, he searched the whole venue after the show for you.”
“He did?” I stopped  twirling.
“What did you write on those airplanes? He wants to see you. Go to the airport. Like ASAP I mean NOW.”
“Lucas has to go ….”
“I will handle that, just go.” She hung up on me after that. I was nervous, pacing around the living room.

“Sis, you ok? I really don’t care but I heard Suzy scream through that phone. Go to the airport, you like the guy, don’t you? I like him; and I’ll be fine, I’m 10 I can stay by myself for a few hours.” How could Lu like him if he doesn’t him? I looked and him strangely like I missed something, but then shrugged my shoulders.
“I’m not ok, Lu.”
“SIS, THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE. GO TO THE AIRPORT” Lucas slapped me in the face. I guess to set me straight, that little devil.
“YA, Lu, that hurts, don’t slap me, I thought you didn’t care?.” He shrugged, but it seemed almost like he was keeping a secret from me.
“Wake up and go. I’ll call Suzy again. Suzy will take care of me. I’m a big boy I can stay at home for a while. Get dressed and go. Or it will be too late.”
For a ten-year old he was pretty smart.
 I didn’t want to get noticed easily by the paparazzi people, cause the last rush was almost over, I didn’t want to start a new rush of attention on me.
I put on a hat of Lucas. It was the hat, so I think Kyuhyun would notice it. My blonde hair wrapped together in a pony tail. Jeans and top without sleeves, cause it was really hot outside. Slipped in my converse and went to the airport.

I saw a lot of fans waving and yelling. I saw them entering the gate. If I wave he wouldn’t see me, all the fans are waving. So I went to one of the help desk and asked for a paper and I wrote down that I was here. I pushed through the front of the fans. I was in  first row, being pushed and slapped with placards. Kyuhyun was the last one to enter, He kept looking around, from under his hat. He had earphones in so he probably wouldn’t hear me. When I wave now he wouldn’t see me either. Sungmin was a few paces in front of him. He looked around as well. I folded the paper in an airplane and I hoped it would land in front of his feet.

And so it did.

He picked it up and read it, he was anxiously searching the crowd. Kyuhyun tapped Sungmin gave him the paper. Sungmin gave him a look and searched the crowd to.
At some point Kyuhyun must have noticed the hat.
We locked eyes. Kyuhyun was about to come up to me, Sungmin held him back.
I couldn’t hear a word they were saying because of the screaming fans. Sungmin gave him something to write.
​Kyuhyun then threw the airplane back at me. I slowly opened it.

Illiana,
I believe you. You’re different.
​Kyuhyun.

My hand covered my mouth. My eyes got teary and I looked back at him. I don’t know how long we stared at each other. I was nailed to the ground. His plane was ready to leave. Sungmin tapped him on the shoulder and dragged him with.
That was the last time I saw Kyuhyun of Super Junior. I kept starring at the gate doors that were closed, he was there just a while ago. The fans slowly faded away.
I fell on my knees and started crying.
Stupid, Stupid girl that you are, Illiana. I shouldn’t have left yesterday. That fierce Illiana had to come back without the bad parts ofcourse, if that Illiana would’ve been there yesterday, I probably would have talked to him, and wouldn’t feel  so defeated right now, probably I wouldn’t be crying to.
​Stupid girl that you are.