BONUS

Lucas

STOP MY MOTHER!

The more I cried, the more I have to think about my sister. 2 weeks already past since Illiana got in a coma. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t even get my head straight. Leeteuk-hyung ordered everyone back to work, but even the media could see something was off with Super Junior, especially with Kyu-hyung, Eunhyk-hyung, Donghae-hyung, Kibum-hyung, Sungmin-hyung and Leeteuk-hyung. They were the closest to us, so it be normal. Suzy had a hard time, leaving Kibum’s side and I began to feel like a burden to everyone. Mom was here, so I couldn’t sulk in my room or anywhere else in the apartment. I couldn’t go to Kyu-hyung all the time. And on the 2 storms we had in the night, I was so scared and I couldn’t go anywhere, I went to my sister’s room only to find she wasn’t there. Kyu wasn’t at the other side, so I decided to get the painting that I found somewhere in the house and hung it over the hole in the wall. I missed my sister, I needed my sister.

From the moment I knew what was going on with my sister. Mom had a hard time keeping me away from the hospital. Otherwise I would’ve stayed there, day night, every waking and sleeping hour.
When I was with Kyu-hyung, he let me cry. But eventually my tears went away, and I felt empty and alone inside, Was I too young to ask for my sister by my side?

I was in my room laying on my bed staring at the ceiling, that what I’d been doing for the last past 2 weeks.
There was a knock on my door. Softly and in slow motion my door opened. I turned my head towards the door. Mom stuck her head through the small opening of the door.

“Lu dear, are you alright?” She had been asking me this over and over, I was sick of that questions,
-
Lucas, are you alright?
How are you doing?
Feeling better?
Talk to me, I want to help you.
What do you need, maybe I can bring it to you.
Eat something, dear, you’re getting slimmer with the minute.
Lucas! Say something to me, you need to get over the fact that your sister is in a coma.
-
I hated the questions, I didn’t know how I felt, only that my mind was blank right now, and it felt like I lost my mother, although I could not know how that felt because she was here. I missed my sister. I missed her goofiness. I was mad at myself for not telling my sister who our neighbour was, I was mad at Kyu-hyung for letting me keep the secret.
Why in the world did I keep it a secret? What was the point of keeping it a secret?

“Lucas, say something to your mother. I didn’t fly all the way over here, to see you like this.” What did she expect when Mrs Jung called her, Did she think this was a joke, I couldn’t believe my own mother, I wasn’t going to cheerful when Li wasn’t here. Didn’t she get it, I loved my sister, I wanted my sister back. I wanted her to say to me she was alright, that I didn’t have to feel like this, what ever I felt like anyways.

“Lucas” she came to my bed and sat next to me. I really felt annoyed these days with my mother. “you need to get up, get your put of this door.”
I turned my back to her, I was watching the sky from my window, it all went so slow these days.

“Lucas” Mom tried again. “Lucas we need to talk about something, something very serious” She put a hand on my side, it made me shiver and her words scared me.

“Lucas we need to talk about the fact your sister might not wake up, and you coming back to Africa with me.

“I don’t want to” I said almost inaudible.

“Lucas, we need to and you will have to come with me.”

“She’ll wake up” I still had so much hope my sister would be at my side, like tomorrow or the day after or the day after that. Until my sister wakes up, I was not moving or giving up hope. I was not that person, I have to believe the plant, silent sister I had now, would be the somewhat loud, spiritful, helpful, lively sister again. “Lucas I know, we all want her to wake up”

“Than why are you talking like she’s not even here anymore” I could feel my eyes water but I cried every tear with Kyuhyun and Illiana in the hospital.

“You have to understand there is a possibility that she is not waking up from this.”
Illiana was waking up, maybe not today but someday, she wouldn’t leave like that she was strong. I watched her every move closely, what was she trying to do? To make me feel even worse. A mother should cheer up her own kid. “Lucas, you look at me like I’m sort of a monster. I am not, you know, I just have to be realistic, In Africa I have seen many things.”

“Mom, where not in Africa.”

“I know, but still you have to think about the possibilities.”

“Mom I’m 10, I don’t think about anything, I JUST WANT ILLIANA BACK”

“I know, I want her back too” She my hair out of my eyes. Was it bad that I didn’t believe my mother when she said she wanted her back too? “You’ve been sulking around for two weeks, it has been quiet enough, you need to get back to your life and try to start one without Illiana” I was getting mad at my mother she was right but still she didn’t have to give up hope so fast. I turned my head back to the window I didn’t need this. I needed someone who still believed, Like Hyung and Suzy, Mrs Jung.

“You sound like you have given up hope already” I mumbled.

“I have not given up hope yet, I just think about our future, your future” I can’t listen to this anymore, although she was right.

“Where are you going? Come back here” I stormed out of my room. Was it to much to ask for my sister, Was it to much for me to ask her back? Was it? Was I becoming someone who held on to the impossible.

“Kyuhyun” I said with my back to my mother when I stood still in the door opening.

“Lucas, Stop bothering the idol.” Was I bothering Kyuhyun – hyung to much? Was I really a burden to him? I ran into Suzy without noticing it. Suzy took one look at me, I’m going to cry again, but I couldn’t cry in front of my mother.

“Lu?, Go” She was concerned and she knew what Mom had told me in Africa about crying, because Illiana had told her the first day we got back. “Kyu is home, go” She whispered. “Mrs Parker, …” Suzy started but I was already in the hallway. Ready to knock on 630’s door. I hesistated still thinking I was a burden or something. I heard the door going out of his lock.

“Lucas?” Donghae said in surprise. “KYU YOU HAVE A VISITOR!” he yelled in the house. “I’m sorry Lu I can’t stay I have a schedule, Go inside.” And as soon as he finished his sentence.

“Lu? What is it now.?” He said friendly ready to hug it out, letting me cry. The word now shocked me, I really was a burden wasn’t I? Now, he was fed up with me too.

“Lu, why do you look so shocked?” hyung came at eye-level with me squatted down.

“I’m a burden to you too? I am one to my mother, I was one with my sister, I’m probably one to Suzy and Mrs Jung too. I shouldn’t have come.” I sniffed. Now I really couldn’t go to anyone. He was about to take my hands in his, I pulled mine back.

“Lucas, what are you talking about? You are not a burden to us.”

“I want Illiana so bad right now.”

“I know” he whispered soflty “You are not the only one.”

“Lucas, come on, talk to me, What happened?”

“I don’t want to go back, I don’t want to go to Africa. I hated Africa. I don’t want to loose hope. I just want Illiana. I want to be strong like Illiana, strong for her, but I can’t I just one her back. Is that to much to ask?” I said through tears, and whispered the last part. Kyu-hyung looked at me shocked.

“Oo h, Lu, come here” He took me in his arms, this time I let him.

“YA, KYUHYUN-IE, WE HAVE TO G— Owh” Leeteuk yelled and was ready to go. I couldn’t help it and hit my crying face from him.

“Kyu, we have to go” Leeteuk whispered.

“I know”

“Lu wanna come with us?” Leeteuk asked, Cause he knew there was no parting me from Kyu-hyung right.

“What about our manager?”

“I’ll handle it than, okay? Let’s go” Leeteuk said in a hurry. “Be sure to calm him ok”
We weren’t out of the door yet and my mother was in front of Kyu who had picked me up earlier.

“Where are you going with my child?”

“We are taking him with us, so he can be outside the house for once.”

“and where may that be?”

“Kyu hurry, come on, we are late.”

“I’m sorry Mrs Parker, we’ll bring him home in one piece.”
Kyu ran to Leeteuk in the elevator, still with me in his arms.

“YOU, come back here. Bring my child back here this instant.” The elevator doors were already closing.
My tears stopped flowing once we got into the car and Leeteuk had done the explaining to the manager why I was there.

After that moment I kind of stopped going because I always came at the most awful times ever. I was more and more on my own.

2 weeks more past and I was in Illiana’s room with Suzy. We laid on the bed and watched the ceiling, and the fly who had flown in and buzzed above our heads. Here in silence was the best thing. Suzy might not be my sister but she was good to me too.

Mrs Jung called us to the living room.

Once in the living room.

“There is something we have to discuss with you guys.” My mother started, right, this wasn’t good. Couldn’t Mrs Jung just have started when she had started it was something semi good.

“The doctor just called. With a very hard and difficult question.” She went on.

“Mom?” Suzy started to friggle, she was uneasy. Mrs Jung looked at her with quite a sad face. “No, mom? No, she can’t d-d-do that” What couldn’t my mom do? I wasn’t quite following this situation.

“Suzy-shi, She can, it’s her daughter.”

“NO” Suzy put her hands on my ears so I wouldn’t hear anything. “YOU CAN’T, YOU WON’T” She yelled towards my mother “MOM!” she shouted in disbelieve to hers. “HE DOESN’T HAVE TO HEAR THIS” I was so sure she would’ve yelled a very inappropriate word to my mother but she held it in.
Then there were a bunch of things I couldn’t understand.
My mother must have said to Suzy to let me hear again. Suzy had tears all over her face. What was going on?

“Lucas, I’m going to tell you this and we decided to do it.” My mother said very indifferently. “I’ve decided to pull the plug of your sister, the doctor agrees.” My mouth flew open, She wanted to really kill my sister,? “NO” I shouted “NO, YOU CAN’T”

“I can, and there is no sign of her waking up. The doctor told so too.”

“NO, you agreed to this, mom?” Mrs Jung hadn’t the courage to say yes, because I think this was my mother and my mother alone who decided this.

“I can’t stop Mrs Parker, it’s her daughter.” Mrs Jung started in Korean so my mother wouldn’t understand. “I pleaded for her not to do it, but when she wants to she can”

“OMA, ANDAE, she’s my best friend, what about me, Lu and Kyuhyun?” My mother still not following what was said. “Suzy-shi, I can’t do anything. If I could I would, you know that, I love Illiana as she was my own, but if her mother decides to do it, we can’t do anything, I tried. I really did honey. I really did try to get her mind to do something else, but she already decided.”

“Oma, please”

“Mrs Jung” I said in Korean too, my mother’s mouth flew open because my Korean was that good. “Please don’t let my mother do this.” The Jungs looked at me, with the same feeling I had.

“Will you stop talking Korean and let me in on the conversation” My mother was seriously troubled with the fact she was left out.

“Will do it this afternoon.” Mom said severly.
Suzy was mad and went outside. Kibum was probably home. Kyuhyun had left to see Illiana. I had seen him leave on foot.
 

Around 10am the next day, Suzy came in the apartment. Shouting to not pull Illiana’s plug, that she had moved. But mother and Mrs Jung were alreay leaving for the car.



She boosted me up, and she needed my help to stop what they were about to do.
But would we come in time, to stop it? Would they believe Suzy about what Kyu said? Would they? Or would my mother be so stubborn and stupid to go through with it.