As I stood in the middle of my room, I closed my eyes and fisted my hands. 'Pabo Jae. Why did you shove Sica aside? She was just trying to calm you down.' I sighed and was about to turn around to exit my room when the door open. Jessica was standing there with her icy glare and folded arms.

"Then make me understand." I frowned at her as she continued talking. "If you think that I don't understand what you're going through, then make me understand so that I can try to help. You said it before. You said that we'll work to.. work together..." Tears started to flow as Jessica's voice cracked.

I walked up to her and gave her a hug. I was about to say something when Jessica intercepted me.

"Don't push me away, Jaegi. I may not know a lot of things about you. I may not be able to help you in any way. But please don't push me away."

"Mianhae. I wasn't trying to push you away. I waa just too frustrated with Appa until I wasn't thinking straight. Mianhae, Sicababy."

I saw the other girls looking at us from the door while I was hugging Jessica. After giving them a signal that everything was under control, Taeyeon pulled the door closed to let us have some privacy. I held Jessica's hand and lead her to sit on my bed while I sat at the chair that was at my computer table. I was about to start talking when Jessica stopped me.

"Sit beside me." She tapped the space beside her as I followed her instruction. She hugged me from the side and leaned her head on my shoulders. "You can start your story now."

"A few days back, I emailed to Appa asking him if it was possible for him to come to Korea to celebrate Christmas here with me. There's a few reasons to why I wanted him to be here. Firstly is because of the orphanage. Uncle Kwon said that it'll be ready 2weeks before Christmas so I thought that we could have a mini celebration there on Christmas eve along with all the kids. Secondly, it's been 4yrs since Appa went to see Omma so I thought we could visit the crematorium on Christmas Day. Lastly, I wanted him to meet you. To see the girl that have brought me so much happiness. But all Appa kept saying was that he wasn't ready and that he'll be reminded of Omma if he comes back. That's just selfish. If he thinks that way, that what about me? My love for Omma may not be as great as his but I still love her a lot. If it's hard for him to be reminded of her, so it is for me. I understand that I chose to come back so I have to bear the consequences myself but this is just so frustrating." I sighed as Jessica tightened her grip around my waist.

"Jaegi, did you tell Appa about all of that?" She looked up and stared into my eyes.

"I did. I told him just now, over the phone. But he still insist that he wasn't ready and instruct me to go back to the States for Christmas." I frowned as I thought back about the conversation with Appa earlier.

"You told him parts of it. You didn't exactly explain it all clearly to him. You even raised your voice at him. I guessed he got angry so that's why he instructed you to go back. Jaegi, he's your Appa. Just like how you're patiently making me understand your point of view, you should also do the same to him. You're actually more concern about me spending Christmas without you, right?" I was shocked when Jessica was able to guess my hidden intention of not wanting to go back to the States for Christmas as I sheepishly nodded my head. "Try to make him understand and if he still insists about asking you to fly back, then go ahead. Don't have to worry about me."

I rubbed my temples as I slowly slammed myself on my bed, bringing Jessica down along with me. I turned my body sideways so both of us were now facing each other as I wrapped my arms around her. Resting my chin on her head, I closed my eyes. "Sicababy, let's just stay like this for a while. I'm having a headache at the moment." I felt Jessica nodding her head.

 Both of us fell asleep soon and I only woke up when I heard someone knocking on my door. Jessica was still soundly asleep as I slowly removed myself from her and walked down from my bed. I looked at my watch and saw that it was already 5pm. I opened the door and found Taeyeon smiling at me.

"How's everything?" She asked softly as she saw Jessica sleeping on my bed.

"Frankly, I don't know." I sighed as I walked out of my room and closed the door slowly behind me. "But I think, what Sica told me just now made sense. I let my emotions get the better of me which made me unintentionally raised my voice at Appa. Maybe I should try to talk to him again but this time round I need to be more calm."

"But what if your Appa insist on you going back to the States for Christmas?" Taeyeon asked.

"Then I've got no choice. Anyway, next weekend let's go and get the presents for the children at the orphanage. I want to settle that first so that if I really need to go back, at least the children can celebrate on their own."

I followed Taeyeon to the living room where the other girls had just finished watching a movie. Taeyeon told them about my plan to go shopping for the children next week so Tiffany suggested that we do a brainstorm now about what to get them so as to save time on the day of shopping. 30mins into our discussions, Jessica walked in while rubbing her eyes and I told her about what we were doing. She sat down beside me and just leaned her head on my shoulder as she just listened to our discussions

********************************

It was the weekend to look for the present for the children. Since we've already brainstormed on what to purchased earlier, we didn't have to waste much time on thinking on what to buy. We split up into two groups. TaeNy, HyoHyun and YoonYul would be in charged to get the presents for the younger kids while me, Jessica and SooSun would get the presents for the older kids. I told them to choose the best gift out of all and don't have to bother about the price.

"Taeng, give me a call once you all are done with the purchase and I'll come over to make the payments." Taeyeon nodded before walking away to join the other girls to enter the biggest toystore in that shopping mall.

Sooyoung and Yuri had went home earlier to use their father's cars for today's shopping trip. We needed to use the car to bring back the presents to the dorm later. After spending almost 3hrs at the mall, we were finally done with our shopping. We decided to get our lunch at a BBQ restaurant so our girlfriends went in to the restaurant first while me, Taeyeon, Yuri, Sooyoung and Hyoyeon carried all the stuff back to leave it in the car.

After lunch, we all decided to head back to the dorm to start wrapping on the presents. Uncle Kwon had informed me that the orphanage would be all ready by 14th of December which was in two weeks time. The girls had already planned to help to decorate the orphanage next weekend and will be bringing the presents along on the same day.

It was almost 7pm when we were done with the wrappings. By then, Jessica had fallen asleep on the sofa. I carried her to my room to let her sleep on my bed before joining the rest of the girls in the living room.

"Everyone, I've got something to tell all of you. I'll be going back to the States for two weeks and will celebrate Christmas with my Appa there. I tried to talk things out with him a few days back but it seems that he has made up his mind." I sighed as I sat down on the couch.

"Does Jessi know about it?" Tiffany asked.

"She does. I told her earlier while we were at the shopping mall." I replied.

Flashback a few hours ago:

Me and Jessica were looking through the shoes on display which we intend to buy for the older girls at the orphanage while Sooyoung and Sunny had left to look for shoes for the older boys on the other side of the shop.

"Sicababy, I've got something to tell you." Jessica who was looking at a pair of shoes, looked up and waited for me to continue talking. "I had a talk with Appa a few days back and had apologised for my rudeness the other day. Even after all my explanations, it seems that Appa had made up his mind about me having to go back there for Christmas. He said he understood my intention but he asked for some more time for him to come back to Korea."

"Then just listen to him, Jaegi. It's Christmas. You need to be beside him on that day. You're all he has." Jessica smiled at me as she entwined her fingers with mine. "Don't worry about me. I'll be with my Omma here so I'll be fine."

I nodded my head and smiled at her. "I'm going to miss you a lot when I'm there."

Jessica rolled her eyes at me before pinching my cheeks. "Nado."

Present Time:

"Well, I guess there's nothing to be done once your Appa already made his decision." Taeyeon said.

"That's true but I need all of your help with something." I said as all the girls looked at me. "If you all realised, I've not officially asked Sica to be my girlfriend. I know it's already been almost more than a month since both me and Sica are together but I want to plan something romantic for her to officially asked her to be mine."

I started to explain what I had in my mind as the girls listened attentively to everything that I've said. After explaining, I asked for suggestions from them for any better ideas to add on as the girls started to contribute to my plan. I asked Sunny to help me to keep a look out if there is any sign of Jessica waking up since I didn't want her to walk in during our discussions. It took us almost an hour to discuss through every details and at the end of it, I was satisfied with everything.

"Thanks everyone for your contribution. I hope everything will go on as planned on that day." I smiled at everyone.

"In that case, prepare dinner for us. I'm hungry." Sooyoung replied as everyone agreed to her suggestion.

Since I wasn't really good at cooking, I decided to just ordered some fried chicken for the girls. While waiting for the food to arrive, I went to wake Jessica up which almost took the same timing as the delivery. During dinner, Yuri suggested to Yoona to stay in the dorm for the next year onwards to which Hyoyeon also suggested to Seohyun. Both of them agreed to check with their parents first. Sooyoung then said that all of us could try to re-apply for our dorm slots where we could stay in two of the 5-room dorms, our girlfriends in one dorm while the rest of us in another dorm.

"Why can't we re-apply for the 2-room dorms so that we each can stay with our own girlfriends?" Taeyeon said while grinning cheekily.

All of us had the same reaction by calling Taeyeon 'ByunTaeng' while Tiffany just shook her head. Taeyeon rebutted by saying that she wasn't thinking of any dirty thoughts when she said it which caused all of us to just laughed at her.

********************************

Everything was nicely decorated as the kids just watched me and the girls put everything up. The curious ones kept asking us about what we were doing. From what the caretakers told us, the children in the orphanage had not celebrated Christmas since 5yrs ago. The younger ones were excited when they saw the presents being placed at the foot of the christmas tree but when I told them that they can only opened it on the 26th, they started to pout. The older kids helped us out by putting the decorations around the orphanage. We took a break for lunch when the caretakers invited us to the dining area to eat the food that they had prepared. It was just a simple tteobokki and kimbap but all of us were thankful for the food. Uncle Kwon who had been with us since morning also joined us at the table.

"Next week will be the last week of school since winter break will commence from the 15th onwards. So how do you girls planned to spend your break?" Uncle Kwon asked while we were eating.

"Appa, you should already knew about my plan to bring Yoona to the ski resort, right?" Yuri answered as Uncle Kwon nodded his head. "Hyo and Seohyun will be joining us too."

"Me and Sunny will be following my parents to Europe for a holiday for about a week." Sooyoung replied as she stuffed a kimbap into .

"I'll be going home to the States for about 2weeks and will be celebrating Christmas there." I replied as I glanced at Jessica who just smiled at me.

"I guess I'll be going back to my mum's place and spending time with her. I don't really have any plans yet." Jessica replied as she gave me a hug when she saw me sighing. "It's okay, Jaegi. No more sighing okay. You should enjoy your break while you're there."

"Maybe Jessi can join me and Taetae for our roadtrip. Both of us were planning to just drive around Seoul to find for interesting places." Tiffany said excitedly while Taeyeon pouted.

"But I don't think Taeng likes that idea, Tiff. Furthermore,I don't think I should disturb your private time together." Jessica replied.

"If you want to join us, it's okay Sica. You're most welcome to join us." Taeyeon chuckled nervously as she looked at me who was glaring at her.

I think Jessica noticed Taeyeon's nervous reaction because the next thing I knew, I was slapped on my left thigh by Jessica. She mouthed the words 'stop it' as I just nodded my head and stopped glaring at Taeyeon.

We chatted about other things before finishing our lunch break to continue with the decorations for the orphanage. While we were hanging the colored lights at the orphanage entrance, one of the kids came up to me and tucked on the hem of my shirt. I recognised the young boy as the one who will be excited everytime I came over to visit the orphanage. His name was Kyungsan and he was only 4yrs old. He was quiet when the first time I met him but after a few times of seeing me there, he seem to have opened up himself. 

"Jae noona, is it true that we can only open the present on the 26th?" He asked as he blinked his eyes at me.

"That's true, Kyungsan. You need to be a good boy from now on. If not, your presents will be taken away from you." I patted his head as he opened his arms, asking me to carry him.

"Will you be here to watch us open up our presents?" He asked the moment I lifted him up and carried him in my arms.

His question made me speechless as the rest of the girls just looked at me. I was about to answer him when Sunny walked up to us and smiled at Kyungsan. 

"Jae noona won't be here but Sunny noona will be here. Is that okay with you, Kyungsan?" Sunny smiled with her aegyo as Kyungsan nodded his head. He had took a liking for Sunny when the girl arrived that morning. Even though he was a bit awkward with Tiffany and Jessica, he was able to mingle around with the rest of the girls.

"Why don't we all gather at the orphanage on boxing day to spend time with the children here while we watched them unwrap their presents?" Sooyoung suggested as the rest of the girls nodded their heads.

"But I won't be back by then." I frowned as I remembered that I'll only be home by 29th. Thinking of that made me sighed again. 

"It's okay, Jae. We'll be your representatives. There will always be next time so don't be upset." Taeyeon patted my back as she tried to console me.

We left the orphanage at about 5pm as YoonYul and HyoHyun followed Uncle Kwon in his car since he'll be sending them home. The rest of us took the bus back to the dorm but not before stopping at the cafetaria since Sooyoung's stomach was already growling while we were still in the bus. 

******************************

I quickened my pace to the sports hall where Hyoyeon, Seohyun, Taeyeon and Sunny were waiting for me. I saw Seohyun near the hall entrance, waving her hands at me.

"So how's everything? Did you manage to convince the rest of the cheerleaders?" I asked while I tried to stabilise my breathing.

"Everything is settled on my part. Taeng and Yeonnie are still with Ms Lee in her office. Sunny is already sitting on the bench, waiting for you." Seohyun pointed at Sunny who just smiled at us as we walked nearer to her.

I was just about to sit down beside Sunny when my phone beeped.

To Hyun Jae:

Everything's done here. Me, Soo and Yoona are making our way back to the sports hall.

To Yuri:

Thanks, Yul. I'll see you guys here soon.

As I kept my phone into my back pocket, I saw Hyoyeon and Taeyeon walking out from Ms Lee's office. Both of them were grinning away and showed me a thumbs up as I gave them an 'ok' sign. Sunny then passed me a plastic bag as I quickly stuffed it into my duffel bag.

"Hey, Jae. Fany just messaged me to inform that she and Sica are already on their way here. Where's Soo, Yul and Yoona?" Taeyeon asked the moment she reached us.

"They're making their way back. Gosh, why is my heart beating so fast?" I said as I tried to take a deep breathe.

"Relax, Jae. You're just nervous. Everything will be fine. Don't stress yourself out. I don't want to see you fainting again." Sunny said in a firm tone.

Our last futsal training for the year will commence in an hour's time as we went to change into our training kit when the rest of the girls arrived at the sports hall. Everything seems to be as per normal when practice commence. Tiffany, Jessica and Seohyun went off to join the rest of the cheereleaders while Teyeon lead the futsal team for a warm-up. Since it was the last practice, Ms Lee didn't gave us any difficult drills to do. After 45mins of drill practice, we were given a break for 10mins.

"Hey, Taeng. Are you sure Ms Lee is going to release us slightly earlier than usual? She didn't make any anouncement about it earlier." I asked Taeyeon who was drinking water from her bottle.

"She promised me that she will release us 15mins before time. If you don't believe, you can ask Hyo." Taeyeon nudged Hyoyeon's shoulders who was standing beside her.

"It's true, Jae. Ms Lee really said that. Maybe she won't make any announcement but will just release us earlier. Who knows." Hyoyeon commented.

I heard the whistle blown as Ms Lee instructed us to gather in front of her.

"Since today will be the last day of our futsal practice for the year, I hope that all of you will enjoy your winter break that will start in a few days time. Try not to slack to much and maintain a healthy lifestyle during the break. I'll be releasing all of you from practice 15mins earlier today, due to a request from your vice-captain. Before that, go and have a practice match of 5 vs 5. Sunny, pass them the bibs according to the teams that I've assigned." Ms Lee instructed Sunny as she handed us over the bibs and we walked to the pitch.

"See, I told you everything will be fine. Let's enjoy the game then." Taeyeon nudged my shoulder as we jogged to the pitch.

Jessica's POV:

I saw the girls having their break earlier. Aisshhh.. why didn't the coach released us for our break at the same time. The cheerleaders had their breaks 10mins earlier than the futsal team. We were now listening to the coach saying something about new formations that she had came out with but frankly speaking, I wasn't really listening. I was actually looking at Jae who was jogging to the pitch. She was talking to Taeyeon as both of them were wearing different colored bibs. Ohhh.. They're going to play against each other. If only I could watch them play. I was about to continue watching when Tiff suddenly whispered in my ears asking me to concentrate on the coach instead. I had no choice but to turn my gaze to the coach but my atention to her was only momentarily. I started to think about the times where me and Jae will be apart soon. Even though I tried to act cool and strong about allowing Jae to leave and spend Christmas with her Appa, deep down inside of me I had wished that Jae could have stayed. I also wanted to introduce her to my Omma and to my grandparents. Most importantly, I had wanted Jae to meet my Appa but I know that will never be possible. I don't even know where Appa is at the moment. The last email that I've sent to him was in April when I complained to him that he had forgotten to wish me Happy Birthday. Appa didn't know about the arranged marriage between me and Taecyeon. I didn't want him to feel guilty since the arranged marriage was indirectly caused by Omma's sickness. Appa was already feeling guilty for not being able to take care of Omma's sickness due to his financial constraint at that time. I didn't want to add on to his pain. Sometimes it hurts when I think of Appa not being with us especially during festive season like Christmas or Chuseok. That's why I asked Jae to go back to the States to celebrate Christmas with her dad. They've only got each other. Omma will be by my side so at least I won't be alone.

"Jessi, stop daydreaming. We need to try out the formation now." Tiffany pulled Jessica up as they prepare themselves for their practices.

As promised, Ms Lee released us 15mins earlier than usual. I walked to the bench to grab my waterbottle as the girls joined me soon. I watched the cheerleaders doing their practice and was too engrossed watching Jessica that I didn't noticed the other girls grinning at me.

"Hey, Jae. Aren't you suppose to get yourself ready?" Taeyeon asked as I snapped back to reality.

"Once Seohyun give us the signal, everything will be set into motion. So you better stop admiring Sica and get yourselves ready." Sooyoung said while the rest of them nodded their head.

I tightened my shoelaces and did a few stretching. I heard a whistle blown signalling the end of the cheerleading practice as I saw Seohyun giving me a thumbs up. I turned around to look at the girls who were all seated at the bench as they all wished me luck.

'Stay focus, Jae. Any moment from now and everything will depend on you.'

I focus my sight to the cheerleaders until the moment that I've waited for arrived and just like what I had anticipated, I ran forward as fast as I could.