From Nerd to Popular
Story Reviews»From Nerd to PopularReview«
Title (2/5)
I guess it makes sense but your story seems to have a deeper meaning than just a girl turning from a nerd to miss popular; the process isn't just a simple wanting to become and hence giving rise to a transformation, there is amnesia involved. Also heavy penalty on the fact that nerd is a noun and popular is a verb; you don't change from a noun to a verb...it should be a noun to noun; ie nerd to miss popular.
Foreward/Description (6/10)
Cute in a way that it suits the opening chapters perfectly but I did not like how you switched between first and third POV within the description.
Appearance (4/5)
I really liked the gif in the poster but a more in-line with story poster would be a double image of the nerd and cheerleader.
Plot (10/15)
Giving the score based on what could potentially be a rather interesting story; how exactly did she transform from a nerd to a popular cheerleader? I think the opening chapters have done a pretty good job of drawing your readers in but here are a few cynical points:
Chapter 1: It is a narration and you are talking to the audience very much like a typical american drama where you hear the voice of the main character. It's cliche but its supposed to be cute and engaging and feel like it's calling out to you; watch your tenses and a more quirky way of writing would have had a bigger appeal.
You used words like "kingka" which is obviously not English so an explanation is needed. EXOK was mentioned but you didnt state the members and a couple of lines later I'm supposed to somehow know that Sehun is part of EXOK, crush of Inkye which by the way popped out of nowhere.
Chapter 2: Too confusing, it was like as though she had two accidents because she described the incident/accident in chapter 1 perfectly. But chapters 3 to 5 does help a bit though even though I'm stuck wondering between the two accidents.
But as mentioned earlier, points for ability to captivate your audience.
Originality (9/15)
The high school setting, nerd, miss popular, kingka, is so common in EXO fics but I'll give you slight credit for the amnesia bit.
Language (16/20)
Slight error in tenses and your phrasing can be improved upon for a better flow. But definitely not something which affects the understanding of the story on an overall.
Other language comments given above.
Flow (7/10)
Penalty on the confusion but overall story progress is alright.
Characterization (7/10)
A lot more can be done to shape her "before" image, more emotional involvement and relationship with cheerleaders and EXOK pre-transformation.
But what you have now isn't bad at all.
Overall Enjoyment (7/10)
It is a rather cute and interesting story. Credits for a good grasp of the English language as well.
Reviewed by: eunhyuksgal
68/100!
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