Picture Something Perfect
Story Reviews»Picture Something PerfectReview«
Title (4/5)
I like it's relation to photography and it links to your description nicely.
Foreward/Description (8/10)
It gives a nice introduction with no details given. Captivating so I will give you credit here.
Appearance (3/5)
The poster looks rather plain and I don't know what to expect about the story looking at it; genre etc. But I do like the character chart and story status with pictures.
Plot (10/15)
Score as such due to the fact that this story is just beginning. I see a lot of possibilities for story development so there is potential in that area.
So far you have brought the characters into the story smoothly and created interest in them from your readers so well done.
Some advice: Plan your story, take care of your and highlight. Seems character centered as you introduced them as the "photographer" and "waitress". Think about how you're going to play their titles into the story.
Originality (11/15)
Hard to judge but I like the direction it's going with a hint of maturity and non highschool based.
Language (18/20)
Overall I can tell you have a grasp of the English language but note your phrasing and tenses at times. It almost seems as if you're translating from a different language. Also I admire your use of big words but too much may render it difficult to read for some readers in a fanfiction world.
When using another language ie "lengua materna" you might want to do it in italics and perhaps even put the English meaning in brackets. Not everyone knows what it means.
Flow (9/10)
So far so good, smooth and well-paced.
Characterization (7/10)
I do like how you have introduced the characters so far as the "photographer" and "waitress" but slight question on Anna's background; why does she have an English name and her sister not?
Also bear in mind when you mix so many cultures together. Korean girl working in a Japanese restaurant; Chinese man traveling the world and being able to converse in so many languages. Take note of the different cultures between Chinese and Koreans when you go into the meeting as well.
Overall Enjoyment (7/10)
I'm only reading a glimpse into the story, so far so good.
Reviewed by: eunhyuksgal
77/100!
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