Gangs of the Rich and Poor
Story Reviews»Gangs of the Rich and Poor Review«
Title (4/5)
Appropriate and exact title but given your command of the English language I expected something more; think along the lines of a dark, twisted, complex and deep title.
Foreward/Description (7/10)
It is short and simple, describes the story well without giving anything away. But I find it not captivating enough for someone new to it, which does not serve justice to your story. Another thing is, the three rules were not explicitly stated within the story and Kris also gave her three rules which makes things confusing and the contradiction removes any meaning to the two different sets of three rules.
Appearance (2/5)
I do like the colour and overall appearance but having only the lead female with Kris and DO makes it feel like a story of a love triangle when it's way more complicated than that.
Plot (13/15)
I was rather confused in the initial chapters on the set-up of the two different parts of town, I will however not penalize you on those because you did clear things up later. I will still give up input when I relate this to our real world.
-Why did you differentiate them as "rich" and "poor" with the inverted commas? It is simple the rich and the poor. Also instead of reusing those words multiple times maybe look into prestigious school, neighbourhood versus international etc
-This could be a good point: I was stuck wondering how the two gangs formed up and the reason for their fight. And also about Kim's background.
-The fence was rather weird because I imagined even in Manhattan with the Bronx, there wasn't an actual physical structure separating the two, people just know to avoid those areas
-Needing an ID to move between cities also got to me, liken to crossing borders
BUT like I mentioned, these are mostly accounted for later. So just food for thought. ;-)
Slight content error:
-In chapter 4, why did Suho not know she was working in his restaurant as his waitress after having met her in the prologue?
Lastly, there was too much wine throwing.
Other than that you have a unique, special and interesting storyline that captivated me.
Originality (14/15)
High school and gangs are common in the world of EXO fanfics but yours is pretty original and well done so I give you credit here.
Grammer & Spelling (18/20)
Honestly no mistakes except a miss-spell of "over" which was a typo. But I don't want to award you full marks because your writing can improve in terms of vocabulary, expression and general story flow. Work hard!
Flow (9/10)
Apart from the slight confusion caused as mentioned above, it was well-paced.
Characterization (5/10)
I penalize you here on the lack of development of Kim's character. She is important and her foundation needs to be strong. I still do not understand what attracts the boys to her. Even if this turns out both gang leaders are simply using her, there is so much attraction coming from DO, Chanyeol and Tao. There needs to be something about her that makes these good-looking and powerful boys fall for her. Honestly, I don't even know which side she's on and who she has feelings for.
Next comment applies to plot as well; too much going on between the characters. Is it necessary? Sometimes it feels that the boys are taking advantage of the fact that she is a girl and exploiting her, shaming and humiliating her. As a female reader, it is rather degrading. They are practically treating her as a e, sharing amongst the gang. Do take note of that.
Lastly, I understand EXO members have stage names but was it necessary here? You had a scene with DO asking her to call him Kyungsoo but made no effort to explain the dual name and it's significance.
Overall Enjoyment (10/10)
Probably the first EXO story I am clicking the subscribe button to so I believe that says a lot. Read all 25 chapters at one shot and I can't wait for more.
Reviewed by: eunhyuksgal
82/100!
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